aww..sweety... i know it seems impossible, but believe me there will be many more guys in your life... wait 'till you get to high school or even college... i doubt that there are that many people out there who would agree w/ this advice, but if you really feel that strongly about him and he for you, then go for it... be his girlfriend... but becareful with what you do... don't forget about your reputation, your parent's trust, your self respect... u'll realise its better to wait till ur older... but sometimes, experiencing it yourself is the only way to really find out...thats how i did... just dont do anything you'd regret...
it doesnt work that way,. u go like, okay,im gunna get over them, and then, as soon as u c his smile, u forget all baout what u said, all ur problems disapapear, and then reality kicks u, but im saying, sometimes those feelings are just 4 ever, like the song goes (My Boo, by Alicia Keys and Usher) Theres ALWAYS that 1 person that will ALWAYS have ur heart... newyas thats all i have to say, but then again what wud i know, my life is prolly collapsing in fropnjt of my face...
um can i say.. i widnt have been able to phrase my feelings better myself?!?!?... i love you marmar... lol.. i swear its like ur my twin... SAME problems... SAME feelings...
[quote author=Mark423 link=board=1;threadid=731;start=30#msg13753 date=1099187425] a) you watch much too much TV b) stop listening to usher, that’s not helping c) a song with “boo” in the title isn’t a place you should be getting information about life d) In your case, crawling in a hole until the age of 30 seems like a wise decision…
You’re living in a dream world…
wow man, u layed it on heavy, calm down shwaya, plz guys try to be respectful while gettin da message tru, sanks ;D
BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING, I JUST WANNA SAY THAT mARK, U MADE ME LAUGH TILL TEARS CAME OUT OF MY EYES WITH THAT WHOLE ABC...LIST, lolx...thanx mann i needed that.
WWhhooo, okay, i think i can type now, lolx...listen guys, I can sooooo totally understand what you're going through. I mean i wont even make up stories or nething (i'm not good @ that whole sounding holy thing so 4give me) I'm gonna be blunt with everyone and PLEASE no1 take it the wrong way or anything....but Youstina, i know exactly what you're going through because when i was in 6th gr i thought i fell madly in love with this thing in my class and i just didnt know what to do. I mean i was lyk obsessed, and now that i think about it it was disgusting, but thats not the point....neways i was lyk in "love"with this person forever. I mean i'm talking i wrote poems and ish about him (eeww) and ionno wut i was thinking. But the thing we have in common is that force that drives you towards that person and you dont know what it is or how to tame it. It's like ur in a car but you're not steering it and it stinx lyk hell. But let me tell u something....when i finally realized that this kid was just makin me go crazy, a ligh bulb went off in my head (doesnt happen 2 often) and i decided to literally pray. Not just pray o Lord feed the poor, help the sick, amen, type of prayerbut i mean prayer with tears and endless cries of help. And it wasnt just to make these feelingsgo away it was so that no guy would have an effect on me lyk that again. I think u kno wut it's lyk to hurt lyk that, it totally sux! I promise you, i'm 16 (well NOV 13 i will b) but i mean ever since 8th gr i've had no interests in guys wutsoever. I mean i love them as my friends and i love to hang out with them and stuff but theres no emotional attraction going on at all. Before i would have never trusted myself to hang around guys and not get thru the day without falling "in love"with atleast 3 of them.....but now i feel as though i can hang out with americas top wuteva guys and they'd have no effect on me emotionally @ all. (i'm not gay or nething, u guys get wut i mean, lolx) :-[
But i will say something to you....what u feel is not wrong at all and whoever tells u it is they dunno wut they're saying. This is nothing out of the ordinary, its not lyk ur gonna get pregnant from liking a guy ::) You have no reason to be sorry, and i'm not telling u this from my own brain (or wutever is left of it) but i'm telling u wut aboona told me. There is nothing wrong with liking sum1, its called being human to those who dont seem 2 understand. Just as long as u dont act upon these feelings and u dont tell the guy, then there's no reason 4 u to worry and be sorry. This is nothing u can control, unless it goes beyond just "liking"him.
The only way these feelings r gonna go away is if u stop dwelling on it. Stop being sorry, stop saying i cant stop liking him, stop saying u cant control it. Just dont think about it, whatever happens happens. SEe the problem with us is that we tend to dwell on the problem and say i cant i cant i cant.....no, yes u can! Turn off the noise in ur head and tell it to shut up and just dont think about it. I promise u over time u wont even remember his name and although it doesnt seem lyk it now....be patient and have fun girl! No 13/14 yr old should be going thru these sort of problems, so u lyk him...anddd??? Let it go, lolx... u cant do anything about it neither can any1 else and if sum1 tells u, u can control these feelings, tell them to go stare at the wall! :-*
i'm not sure u can control the feelings by urself though, but through the grace of God u can, i think thats what u meant rite lol
The thing is we get annoyed with ourselves and deperate every time we fall becaus we tend to rely on ourselves. If we just admit that we r weak and cant control ourselves and our feelings, and stop worrying about it, it'll go away, or as Fr Athanasius Iskander said in a sermon i heard; the fight will cease, God will take away the fight. And actually believe it or not, it helps lol ;D
hey Every one... I just finished reading these posts...
There is a post that says to go FOR IT and be his girlfriend?? if anyone has ever read any of the other threads about dating and relationships this isnt the first...! and the answer is still the same...
When Anba Moussa comes to give a talk and all the youth gather they always ask the same questions "is it alright to have a girlfriend/boyfriend"?? and the answer every year is still the same...
Youstina, your situation is normal as the previous poster said...dont underestimate the power of prayer, God has gotten me out of some tight jams....talk to your FOC and tell him everything from A-Z he will guide you...
I dunno if this works but also talking to people helps..talking to mum or dad or to your sunday school servant, FOC (make sure ya trust em) and sort out things that way.
yup there were some really great posts! its puppy love and its absolutely normal! you'll probably get it like a lot in the future and each time you'll be like "no this is true love!!" and then with another guy you'll be like "nope wait, THIS is definitely true love" and then with the next one you'll be like "OMGOSH THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE LOVE!!" and then with another one you'll be like "THIS IS THE BEST EMOTION EVER!! THIS IS DEFINITELY TOTALLY TRUE LOVE!!" My abouna said that when lecturing us before.. Anyway, you'll get a lot of that while growing up and its fine just don't act on it (like a lot of other people already said). The absolute best way to get over a guy or not pay attention to guys and be involved in that whole "i want a bf" thing is to fill your time with things that will benefit you. Prayer and church activities would probably be the best things but theres more!! Learn an instrument, play a sport, start painting, read more, other hobbies etc. I've discovered that part of spiritual developement is filling up your time with beneficial things like that. When you have all the free time you'll just start thinking more and a lot of it will be about stuff thats not the greatest for you. Of course theres true love :) but in this day and age, your teenage years should be for spiritual, mental, and yes of course physical, developement. I hope that helped! GB!!! ;D
aw marmar.. i can see you were offended and im sorry on mark's behalf.. i was offended as well because to tell you the truth i agreed with that post 110%!! :-* dont mind what he says and mark please try to be nicer... i love you marmar! and know that i totally agree with you and know and understand wat ur going thro- :-\i know its no fun ...
[quote author=MarMar91 link=board=1;threadid=731;start=30#msg13894 date=1099528178] Okay, i dunno what to say, but i will rewind all the posts back to mark whatevers post....... I have an alphabet checklist 4 u A: stop criticizing everything thing i say and do B: mind ur own business C: I fu dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything (to be blunt, SHUT UP ,,,, if u dont have good things to say d: u dont know me so u cant say i watch toom uch tv, which i dont E: I have a mind of my own thank u very much f: I can listen to whatever music i want g: it doenst matta the name of the song, it has beautiful words h: I dont get information about life from song i: I relate stuff to experienxce j: Crawl in a hole, and avoid ppl like u, ya Rait,,,,, I wish.... k: U r a rude and obnoxious person l: I dream, but i dont live in a dream world m-z: I dont have enough time to tell u the rest, i got half of the alphabet from 4 lines u said... pretty sad U r a pretty said person, to be so insecure that u have to put down others to feel good.... In the future, don't even try, seriously, save it for sum1 who cares....
Let's get this straight: you both went out for a coffee after the Church? That's on a Sunday??
Andrew, i think friendship between girls is really good. Who paid for the coffee ya habibi?? OK. Forget that point.
Friendship between opposite sexes in the Church surely isnt a bad thing! But i love very much the idea that Christ is what me and a girl have in common, not the fact that we speak arabic, or we both ended up in a Coptic Church on Sundays because we have Coptic families.
I think at that age, why not bring other people for a coffee too your age??? Can you imagine how wonderful it would be? I think a certain Graduate meeting in Egypt started out that way. Everyone just joined a couple of people having a coffee...
I think its very cute that you're kind of complexed about the situation because you know, my love for God should reflect how I treat others - ESPECIALLY WOMEN!!!
I'm still learning Andrew, but brother, May Christ be in your relationship, bless it, and I hope it grows into a HUGE GRADUATES MEETING when you're all graduated.
Comments
i doubt that there are that many people out there who would agree w/ this advice, but if you really feel that strongly about him and he for you, then go for it... be his girlfriend... but becareful with what you do... don't forget about your reputation, your parent's trust, your self respect... u'll realise its better to wait till ur older... but sometimes, experiencing it yourself is the only way to really find out...thats how i did... just dont do anything you'd regret...
a) you watch much too much TV
b) stop listening to usher, that’s not helping
c) a song with “boo” in the title isn’t a place you should be getting information about life
d) In your case, crawling in a hole until the age of 30 seems like a wise decision…
You’re living in a dream world…
wow man, u layed it on heavy, calm down shwaya, plz guys try to be respectful while gettin da message tru, sanks ;D
WWhhooo, okay, i think i can type now, lolx...listen guys, I can sooooo totally understand what you're going through. I mean i wont even make up stories or nething (i'm not good @ that whole sounding holy thing so 4give me) I'm gonna be blunt with everyone and PLEASE no1 take it the wrong way or anything....but Youstina, i know exactly what you're going through because when i was in 6th gr i thought i fell madly in love with this thing in my class and i just didnt know what to do. I mean i was lyk obsessed, and now that i think about it it was disgusting, but thats not the point....neways i was lyk in "love"with this person forever. I mean i'm talking i wrote poems and ish about him (eeww) and ionno wut i was thinking. But the thing we have in common is that force that drives you towards that person and you dont know what it is or how to tame it. It's like ur in a car but you're not steering it and it stinx lyk hell. But let me tell u something....when i finally realized that this kid was just makin me go crazy, a ligh bulb went off in my head (doesnt happen 2 often) and i decided to literally pray. Not just pray o Lord feed the poor, help the sick, amen, type of prayerbut i mean prayer with tears and endless cries of help. And it wasnt just to make these feelingsgo away it was so that no guy would have an effect on me lyk that again. I think u kno wut it's lyk to hurt lyk that, it totally sux! I promise you, i'm 16 (well NOV 13 i will b) but i mean ever since 8th gr i've had no interests in guys wutsoever. I mean i love them as my friends and i love to hang out with them and stuff but theres no emotional attraction going on at all. Before i would have never trusted myself to hang around guys and not get thru the day without falling "in love"with atleast 3 of them.....but now i feel as though i can hang out with americas top wuteva guys and they'd have no effect on me emotionally @ all. (i'm not gay or nething, u guys get wut i mean, lolx) :-[
But i will say something to you....what u feel is not wrong at all and whoever tells u it is they dunno wut they're saying. This is nothing out of the ordinary, its not lyk ur gonna get pregnant from liking a guy ::) You have no reason to be sorry, and i'm not telling u this from my own brain (or wutever is left of it) but i'm telling u wut aboona told me. There is nothing wrong with liking sum1, its called being human to those who dont seem 2 understand. Just as long as u dont act upon these feelings and u dont tell the guy, then there's no reason 4 u to worry and be sorry. This is nothing u can control, unless it goes beyond just "liking"him.
The only way these feelings r gonna go away is if u stop dwelling on it. Stop being sorry, stop saying i cant stop liking him, stop saying u cant control it. Just dont think about it, whatever happens happens. SEe the problem with us is that we tend to dwell on the problem and say i cant i cant i cant.....no, yes u can! Turn off the noise in ur head and tell it to shut up and just dont think about it. I promise u over time u wont even remember his name and although it doesnt seem lyk it now....be patient and have fun girl! No 13/14 yr old should be going thru these sort of problems, so u lyk him...anddd??? Let it go, lolx... u cant do anything about it neither can any1 else and if sum1 tells u, u can control these feelings, tell them to go stare at the wall! :-*
Good luck dude! :-*
GOD BLESS ALL! :-*
i'm not sure u can control the feelings by urself though, but through the grace of God u can, i think thats what u meant rite lol
The thing is we get annoyed with ourselves and deperate every time we fall becaus we tend to rely on ourselves. If we just admit that we r weak and cant control ourselves and our feelings, and stop worrying about it, it'll go away, or as Fr Athanasius Iskander said in a sermon i heard; the fight will cease, God will take away the fight. And actually believe it or not, it helps lol ;D
I just finished reading these posts...
There is a post that says to go FOR IT and be his girlfriend?? if anyone has ever read any of the other threads about dating and relationships this isnt the first...! and the answer is still the same...
When Anba Moussa comes to give a talk and all the youth gather they always ask the same questions "is it alright to have a girlfriend/boyfriend"?? and the answer every year is still the same...
Youstina, your situation is normal as the previous poster said...dont underestimate the power of prayer, God has gotten me out of some tight jams....talk to your FOC and tell him everything from A-Z he will guide you...
I dunno if this works but also talking to people helps..talking to mum or dad or to your sunday school servant, FOC (make sure ya trust em) and sort out things that way.
Shenouda.
Okay, i dunno what to say, but i will rewind all the posts back to mark whatevers post.......
I have an alphabet checklist 4 u
A: stop criticizing everything thing i say and do
B: mind ur own business
C: I fu dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything (to be blunt, SHUT UP ,,,, if u dont have good things to say
d: u dont know me so u cant say i watch toom uch tv, which i dont
E: I have a mind of my own thank u very much
f: I can listen to whatever music i want
g: it doenst matta the name of the song, it has beautiful words
h: I dont get information about life from song
i: I relate stuff to experienxce
j: Crawl in a hole, and avoid ppl like u, ya Rait,,,,,
I wish....
k: U r a rude and obnoxious person
l: I dream, but i dont live in a dream world
m-z: I dont have enough time to tell u the rest, i got half of the alphabet from 4 lines u said... pretty sad
U r a pretty said person, to be so insecure that u have to put down others to feel good....
In the future, don't even try, seriously, save it for sum1 who cares....
I agree!
u agree that shes right n ur wrong?
2. what r we talking about? ???
3. where is all of this coming from, and last if ur fighting, stop!
magnoona4lyf-- i love you... thankss
awwww, i love you tooo ;D
And guys everyone breathe, lolx.....God Is Love remember?! ;)
GOD BLESS ALL! :-*
Let's get this straight: you both went out for a coffee after the Church? That's on a Sunday??
Andrew, i think friendship between girls is really good. Who paid for the coffee ya habibi?? OK. Forget that point.
Friendship between opposite sexes in the Church surely isnt a bad thing! But i love very much the idea that Christ is what me and a girl have in common, not the fact that we speak arabic, or we both ended up in a Coptic Church on Sundays because we have Coptic families.
I think at that age, why not bring other people for a coffee too your age??? Can you imagine how wonderful it would be? I think a certain Graduate meeting in Egypt started out that way. Everyone just joined a couple of people having a coffee...
I think its very cute that you're kind of complexed about the situation because you know, my love for God should reflect how I treat others - ESPECIALLY WOMEN!!!
I'm still learning Andrew, but brother, May Christ be in your relationship, bless it, and I hope it grows into a HUGE GRADUATES MEETING when you're all graduated.
God bless