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Affection shown to females in general

fatherbishoykamelfatherbishoykamel
edited December 1969 in Random Issues
Hey ladies and gentelmen,
The post I have i am looking mostly from feedback from ladies. Men can respond to.
However I have noticed something, that I think most people don't talk about.
In our church men tend to recieve more affection from clergy then do females.
For example, at a wedding the bishop or priest will hug the groom, while the bride just kisses the crosses. Infact, Our Lord saviour Jesus Christ kissed the samaritan women. I am sure there are many more example.I hope my point has been made. I would like some feedback and ideas of why that is.

Thanks

Comments

  • Orthodoxy
    Priests are fathers to everyone. Their love extends to all. There are various cultural and spiritual reasons as to why priests may not show public displays of affection as readily to their spiritual daughters. The spiritual is obvious; they are human beings who are tempted like anyone else, they too have to guard their purity(hugs, kisses,etc). As for the cultural reasons, those are varied to which I'm sure others are better suited to respond.
    Ill have to say, however, that I don't see any difference in displays of affection that are distinct between both genders. I think we tend to focus on things which are unimportant and try to analyze the intentions of our fathers the priests who carry a rather heavy burden already.
    In the church to which i belong priests are always texted by their spiritual daughters, sometimes join them for outings and in conventions/trips their spiritual daughters are always the ones hovering around them, talking to them, etc. The priests love and encourage that. I find this beautiful; it shows the pastoral care, love and affection which doesn't necessarily have to be proven by hugs and high fives.
    Ps, I'm male.
  • CopticSoldierCopticSoldier
    In my church one of the monks used to greet ladies with a kiss on the cheek.  People started to gossip about it, we can be pretty evil minded sometimes.
  • Orthodoxy
    There's certainly nothing wrong when a priest, monk or bishop does it out of his own vocation, if he feels comfortable. Gossiping about it is certainly inappropriate and makes for an embarrassing situation. Calling the gossipers evil minded, however, is a stretch and doesn't show a spirit of love.
    This is part of the cultural reason to which I stated in my last post I wouldn't venture into. Certain people are raised certain ways. I don't think the issue demands that we label them back and call them evil. We need to make room for human weakness otherwise none of us will be able to stand in front of the seat of judgment. 
  • CopticSoldierCopticSoldier
    Thank you
  • Orthodoxy
    You're welcome, even though I'm unsure if your apology leans toward sarcasm or sincerity. Regardless, I do apologize if I came across as irate. I think we all make points on these forums with the best of intentions insofar as taking time from our schedules to help people who really need it. For that I'm grateful to these forums and the contributors who post with this altruism in mind.
  • socoolbishoysocoolbishoy
    where does it say that Jesus kissed the Samaritan woman?!
  • CopticSoldierCopticSoldier
    [quote author=Orthodoxy link=topic=14103.msg162457#msg162457 date=1357443187]
    You're welcome, even though I'm unsure if your apology leans toward sarcasm or sincerity. Regardless, I do apologize if I came across as irate. I think we all make points on these forums with the best of intentions insofar as taking time from our schedules to help people who really need it. For that I'm grateful to these forums and the contributors who post with this altruism in mind.


    I was showing appriciation, it always good to be reminded not to judge others.
  • mabsootamabsoota
    i agree with orthodoxy on this one.
    i was born in uk of british parents (not that it shows!) and i much prefer the coptic way of keeping distance between men and women.
    ok. i'm not so sure about sitting separately in liturgy, but the thing about women greeting women with a kiss and men greeting men with a kiss, but just having a handshake between the sexes is great.
    it's much harder to confuse your feelings when you don't have to kiss or hug a guy you don't know well.

    deep affection can be shown very well without any physical contact, as i have learnt in my 4 years as a coptic orthodox Christian. i have some close friends / brothers who i never hug, but who i am sure love me a lot. this may look strange in europe or europe-style countries, but it is a good choice.
    there are a few uncles who like to greet me with a kiss on the cheek, and when i feel safe with this i allow it. but i like the fact that i am not looked down upon if i need to keep my distance. i would be worried if most of the priests started kissing me on the cheek!
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