i just have to ask this question. in America, i dont know about Egypt, how many people do you know that date for the purpose of engagement. common now, we have to be realistic. i know multiple people who date, who are a) too young to even consider engagement, and b) date for the sake of likeing the person and not for engagement. if you are honestly at the age of marriage and are looking for a partner then by all means go ahead, but again make sure you have the ok of you father of confession.
i think we're missing the big idea here what is dating? dating is definatly not as said before, a cup of coffee with two people who may or may not like each other... it never was and chances are, NEVER will be when a person asks someone else out... they have a lot more than just an innocent cup of coffee on their minds ( i think we all know this or can relate to this) this person is being asked out because of, wut usually is, a mutual lusty desire (not exactly what God wants) i agree with whoever it said that dating is okay when considering marriage... and ONLY marriage (as in engagement) u shouldnt consider it before then for the several reasons that have been posted by us all already and for the fact that it would be a complete waste of time... im proud i kept that as short as i can ;) ;D
Dating is not a sin. Dating by definition means [hr] An appointment: a luncheon date with a client; a date with destiny. See Synonyms at engagement.
An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. One's companion on such an outing. [hr]
Look, it says "see synonyms at engagement. And no, i did not make it up, you can check it out yourself at dictionary.com. one person said
if dating is wrong, why is it something that is alright b4 marriage
first of all, if you are engaged, then its not called dating. its called engagement. During engagement, your supposed to go out together to get to know eachother BETTER. somebody else said
It does not make sense to get engaged to someone who you know very little about from group interaction etc
if you don't know enough about the person than you simply shouldn't get engaged to them yet. Group interaction is the only way to get to know the person for how they really are. if its only you and him/her, then they won't act normal. you won't see how they are around other guys/girls. you don't know if you'll get jelous. If you can't get to know the person enough from group interaction then keep trying, or sorry to say it, that might not be the person for you at all. cus when [IF] your married, your not going to be just you and that person, your gonna be around other people, so whats the point of being alone now? and no, its not to get to know eachother better, cus once again, if you not getting to know eachother enough around other people then somethin is wrong. dating won't help you. dating won't make a relationship stronger. it may feel like it is for a while, but then it'll all come down crumbling. you'll say that your only friends and only talking, but one day you'll go past that level, and it won't happen just like that. first you'll hold hands, then hug, then kiss, and then at a certain point it won't seem so wrong to do something even worse cause your eyes will be clouded. something somebody told me once was "if you really like the person, then wait, cus u want them in your future, not your past". once again sorry for blabbing.
I agree with egyprincess in that you should not date if a) you're too young, b) just for the sake of likeing the person and c) if not considering engagement. I stongly disgaree with SMS that dating is driven by lust to the other person. Group interaction is ONE of the ways to get to know the other person and see how they behave with other people, BUT I believe that it does not provide enough knowledge about the other person to warrant the engagement...... where you find after the engagement that when you are alone have few things to talk about and don't get along as well as at first perceived. What Paulh said that dating can lead to a slippery slope (holding hands thenkissing then.............. etc) is not necessarily acurate..... this can also happen during engagement also. I think some common sense and having a strong flexibility goes a long way. What you guys think?
there's this guy/girl u really really like, for the sake of arguement, lets just say its a girl. okay, you realy like this girl, and you have known her for a while. she seems pretty cool, so u decide to ask her out. you do that, and she says yes. everything is nice and dandy, u pick her up friday at 7. friday comes, ur all ready in ur nice clothe and da clean shoes, and u go pick her up from the park (can't do it from her house cus if she's egyptian u can't let her parents know). you guys go get sumthin to eat, watch a movie, and go back to the park to take a walk. so ur in the park, and u guys walk around the park and talk for hours. okay..its 10:00, and she has to be home, so u give her a hug b4 u leave to then u go home, and u set up an arrangement for next friday.
you go home that night, and u think about her, and u think about how good of a person she is, and of the way she deals with everthing, and how she...perfect, and you know deep down in ur heart that u would never try to get toooo close to her (i think u know what i mean), and u go to sleep.
next friday comes, you go out, and u do the same things again, and go to the movies, and then go back to the park, walk around, and talk for a while, and 10:00 comes by and then u gave her a hugg and left. And now u go home, and u like her even more than u did b4, and ur arranged to go out next friday.
next friday comes, you go out, same thing again, different movie tho, and then u go to the park again, and u talk again, and its like u have soo much to say to eachother...and 10:00 comes by and you have to drop her off. she gives u a hugg again b4 u leave, but suddenly, the hugg feels like its not enough...you go out again next friday.
same thing again, and now u no her a lot better and ur a lot closer to her than u were b4...so u go to the movies and everything and ur talkin a walk in the park. now u put ur arm around her shoulder as you walk and talk. b4 u leave this time u give her a hugg again and now ur really feelin like its just another hug..
next friday, same thing again...this time as ur droppin her off...u decide to give her a little peck on the cheek. cus u see her next to u everytime u go out, and u like her sooo much, and its just sooo hard to keep urself from her. and she doesn't mind, cus at this point she likes u a lot too. and for a few weeks you go on the same way. then after a few weeks, that peck on the cheek starts feelings...routine..and u wanna try something new...so after a few more weeks after u drop her off, u just give her a really small peck on the lips..just a really really small one...its doesn't mean anything u know.
so u go out again next week, and this time, just watching the movie, is getting boring, so u pull ur arm over her, and get a little close to her. and give her another little kiss. and u sorta get into it a little bit. so u guys make out now.
i'll stop it here. but how many of you can honostly tell me that if u were in these positions u wouldn't go on to the next step everytime like this...and how many of u would move on?
Group interaction is ONE of the ways to get to know the other person and see how they behave with other people, BUT I believe that it does not provide enough knowledge about the other person to warrant the engagement...... where you find after the engagement that when you are alone have few things to talk about and don't get along as well as at first perceived.
why does it have to be alone? why can't u go out with a group and if there's something you have to talk about, go on the side or something and talk. that lowers the risk of temptation A LOT. being alone just gives the devil the opportunity to tell u "you guys can do watever you want if u really like eachother, nobody can see you, they won't find out."
ok, I've tried my hardest to ignore this discussion because of its ridiculous redundancy, but I must say one more thing. We all know that our parents disapprove of "dating". I really don't give a hoot what the dictionary defines dating as, especially when we all know a whole lot better. "Dating" isn't as innocent as you are all trying soooo desperately to make it out to be. Most of you are just trying to justify dating as an acceptable practice so that when you participate in the action, you won't feel too guilty and sinful. Well, then so be it! You want to date? Then date! This still won't change the perspective of the issue in the coptic community and it won't change it in the eyes of God.
P.S. Why do u all think that people that date (in the coptic community) have such a bad reputation and are always spoken badly of? Because everyone knows that when alone, 2 people get in the habit of getting "closer" to each other. USE YOUR BRAINS!!! You want a bad reputation as well, then, by all means, go right ahead and date.
to answer paylh, i say, my maquarie dictoinary says: "a person, usuallly form the opposit sex, with whom on has a social appointment."
k, now that i clear; Dating is gonig out wif some one, usually a dinner or a drink this is a function for the two persons to get to know each other during or just before Engagment. Now what other people do wht bad reputation, i quote mmhanna is their problem, it is not the proper thing to do, but it should not make dating wrong because they do that.
in many posts, i said that there was nothing wrong with dating. it was just that it gives the devil the opportunity to tempt you. and why put urself in that position. anyway...this arguement is getting pointless, because although some of us are still argueing against it...there are still those people that are just looking for an OK from US!! [with all due respect to everybody] if the priests, bishops, metropolitans, and pope said it was wrong, then nuthin we say here is gonna change that. anyway, sorry for not bein too clear through all this. pray for me
I have a feeling that you guys are arguing the same point from different aspects...
Paul are you saying that two people shouldn't meet before marriage and spend time together at all? If so how do you build the relationship to a point where God will be able to reveal to you that they are the right person?
Also lets not confuse the intentions of our clergy here. We don't run from temptation. We run from sin, there is a difference. Temptation is the verification of our faith and if it isn't a problem before marriage it will be a problem after when intimacy will clearly exist. They are trying to protect us from making a mistake that will force us into a lifestyle decision that isn't the right one. This obviously is a coin with two sides. There is a need to meet and to do so in a guarded way so that you neither marry the wrong person because you didn't get to know they well enough and because you committed a sin that left you no choice.
i'm not saying that they shouldn't meet before marriage. all i'm saying is before engagement, they should not go places where they are completely alone. They should go out to places together with a group of friends and if they want to talk or anything, they could go on the side and talk. You don't have to be in a completely empty place to talk.
And i'm not saying that they should run away from temptation either, but just don't walk into it and put yourself in a position where many others have fell. Of course you will be tempted by the devil, but why give him a backdoor right into your mind.
mein either...just wanted to apologize one last time for all my babblings and i hope these 10 pages were worth something if not... then maybe u should reread them! >:( lol God Bless SMS
i think we ALL had to put in a little babbling to make 10 pages...[soon to be 11.lol] not just u. and i hope this was worth something too...God bless..pray for me
Yeah, I think I want to date. I couldn't possibly live without dating and personally I don't think I've seen enough information to make an informed decision yet. Maybe we could go through this one more time?
deep down in my heart i wouldn't mind helpin u out....but everybody's gonna gang up on me after that and give me a beaten so i could shut up..lol...so i think i'll stay outta it dis time
nah cs, i'm cool..lol. after finishing that forum, i woke up this morning releived.lol. lets keep it closed..and guys...mabrook, we got 11 pages. keep it up [no i'm playin, please dont' lol]
Comments
if you are honestly at the age of marriage and are looking for a partner then by all means go ahead, but again make sure you have the ok of you father of confession.
what is dating?
dating is definatly not as said before, a cup of coffee with two people who may or may not like each other... it never was and chances are, NEVER will be
when a person asks someone else out... they have a lot more than just an innocent cup of coffee on their minds ( i think we all know this or can relate to this) this person is being asked out because of, wut usually is, a mutual lusty desire (not exactly what God wants)
i agree with whoever it said that dating is okay when considering marriage... and ONLY marriage (as in engagement) u shouldnt consider it before then for the several reasons that have been posted by us all already and for the fact that it would be a complete waste of time...
im proud i kept that as short as i can ;) ;D
Dating is not a sin. Dating by definition means
[hr]
An appointment: a luncheon date with a client; a date with destiny. See Synonyms at engagement.
An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
One's companion on such an outing.
[hr]
Look, it says "see synonyms at engagement. And no, i did not make it up, you can check it out yourself at dictionary.com. one person said first of all, if you are engaged, then its not called dating. its called engagement. During engagement, your supposed to go out together to get to know eachother BETTER. somebody else said if you don't know enough about the person than you simply shouldn't get engaged to them yet. Group interaction is the only way to get to know the person for how they really are. if its only you and him/her, then they won't act normal. you won't see how they are around other guys/girls. you don't know if you'll get jelous. If you can't get to know the person enough from group interaction then keep trying, or sorry to say it, that might not be the person for you at all. cus when [IF] your married, your not going to be just you and that person, your gonna be around other people, so whats the point of being alone now? and no, its not to get to know eachother better, cus once again, if you not getting to know eachother enough around other people then somethin is wrong. dating won't help you. dating won't make a relationship stronger. it may feel like it is for a while, but then it'll all come down crumbling. you'll say that your only friends and only talking, but one day you'll go past that level, and it won't happen just like that. first you'll hold hands, then hug, then kiss, and then at a certain point it won't seem so wrong to do something even worse cause your eyes will be clouded. something somebody told me once was "if you really like the person, then wait, cus u want them in your future, not your past". once again sorry for blabbing.
pray for me
ps... dont worry bout babbling.... i do it all the time
there's this guy/girl u really really like, for the sake of arguement, lets just say its a girl. okay, you realy like this girl, and you have known her for a while. she seems pretty cool, so u decide to ask her out. you do that, and she says yes. everything is nice and dandy, u pick her up friday at 7. friday comes, ur all ready in ur nice clothe and da clean shoes, and u go pick her up from the park (can't do it from her house cus if she's egyptian u can't let her parents know). you guys go get sumthin to eat, watch a movie, and go back to the park to take a walk. so ur in the park, and u guys walk around the park and talk for hours. okay..its 10:00, and she has to be home, so u give her a hug b4 u leave to then u go home, and u set up an arrangement for next friday.
you go home that night, and u think about her, and u think about how good of a person she is, and of the way she deals with everthing, and how she...perfect, and you know deep down in ur heart that u would never try to get toooo close to her (i think u know what i mean), and u go to sleep.
next friday comes, you go out, and u do the same things again, and go to the movies, and then go back to the park, walk around, and talk for a while, and 10:00 comes by and then u gave her a hugg and left. And now u go home, and u like her even more than u did b4, and ur arranged to go out next friday.
next friday comes, you go out, same thing again, different movie tho, and then u go to the park again, and u talk again, and its like u have soo much to say to eachother...and 10:00 comes by and you have to drop her off. she gives u a hugg again b4 u leave, but suddenly, the hugg feels like its not enough...you go out again next friday.
same thing again, and now u no her a lot better and ur a lot closer to her than u were b4...so u go to the movies and everything and ur talkin a walk in the park. now u put ur arm around her shoulder as you walk and talk. b4 u leave this time u give her a hugg again and now ur really feelin like its just another hug..
next friday, same thing again...this time as ur droppin her off...u decide to give her a little peck on the cheek. cus u see her next to u everytime u go out, and u like her sooo much, and its just sooo hard to keep urself from her. and she doesn't mind, cus at this point she likes u a lot too.
and for a few weeks you go on the same way. then after a few weeks, that peck on the cheek starts feelings...routine..and u wanna try something new...so after a few more weeks after u drop her off, u just give her a really small peck on the lips..just a really really small one...its doesn't mean anything u know.
so u go out again next week, and this time, just watching the movie, is getting boring, so u pull ur arm over her, and get a little close to her. and give her another little kiss. and u sorta get into it a little bit. so u guys make out now.
i'll stop it here. but how many of you can honostly tell me that if u were in these positions u wouldn't go on to the next step everytime like this...and how many of u would move on?
P.S. Why do u all think that people that date (in the coptic community) have such a bad reputation and are always spoken badly of? Because everyone knows that when alone, 2 people get in the habit of getting "closer" to each other. USE YOUR BRAINS!!! You want a bad reputation as well, then, by all means, go right ahead and date.
Ugh, I'm done
[coptic]Amyn Ec`eswpi[/coptic]
to answer paylh, i say, my maquarie dictoinary says: "a person, usuallly form the opposit sex, with whom on has a social appointment."
k, now that i clear; Dating is gonig out wif some one, usually a dinner or a drink this is a function for the two persons to get to know each other during or just before Engagment. Now what other people do wht bad reputation, i quote mmhanna is their problem, it is not the proper thing to do, but it should not make dating wrong because they do that.
I hope this settles the argument
:)
Its the missuse of the dating/ function that makes it wrong
Paul are you saying that two people shouldn't meet before marriage and spend time together at all? If so how do you build the relationship to a point where God will be able to reveal to you that they are the right person?
Also lets not confuse the intentions of our clergy here. We don't run from temptation. We run from sin, there is a difference. Temptation is the verification of our faith and if it isn't a problem before marriage it will be a problem after when intimacy will clearly exist. They are trying to protect us from making a mistake that will force us into a lifestyle decision that isn't the right one. This obviously is a coin with two sides. There is a need to meet and to do so in a guarded way so that you neither marry the wrong person because you didn't get to know they well enough and because you committed a sin that left you no choice.
God bless you,
CS
And i'm not saying that they should run away from temptation either, but just don't walk into it and put yourself in a position where many others have fell. Of course you will be tempted by the devil, but why give him a backdoor right into your mind.
God bless,
CS
and i hope these 10 pages were worth something if not... then maybe u should reread them! >:( lol
God Bless
SMS
CS
lol
CS
funny man!
CS
it was good while it lasted, but we are hopefully done by now
~ >:(