I know I haven't been here in a long time. Well, truth is, I am struggling with myself and the devil so much.
I remember being close to God and having a personal relationship, but I can't see him anymore. I built this wall between me and him because of my sins and iniquity. I have this empty hole inside of me that I actually feel. I am so lost and broken without him and now my life has been turned 360 degrees.
I can't live without God like this any longer. I feel like a dead person with no life in me. I will go crazy.
Not to mention, I am so confused about everything I do. And guess where it all started: doubt.
Sometimes when I pray, I feel like its not going to make a difference because I sinned so much. Even though when I used to pray, I felt this amazing joy and love.
I have been far away from God for seven months now. I am blinded by my guilt and hopelessness.
I don't know where to start again.
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Comments
CopticStrength, I remember when you left the forum. It was because you had to defend yourself. I was hoping you wouldn't get lost. You are young so there are so many trails you have to go through and alot of them are differcult. But please the solution is not to run from them but to solve them. Every problem has a solution and God provides the solution for you soul, to defeat all weakness, all problems, and none of it is easy. That's why i'm proud of your name.
Please pray for me and thanks Joshuaa, because for me this is a time of trial.
You are young and pressure is really on to conform with this world so my advice on this is not to try to please people so much. Pleasing people is not love. You know God has the true love.
John 17:23 " I in them, and You in Me; that they may be perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and has loved them as You have loved Me.
God loves you CopticStrength and that is where you put your trust. There's no trust in fear of the devil.
Try not to let the devil make you believe you are going on anything other than the journey God has for you. The sin, whatever it was, weakens you, and you will feel less fullfillment in your life. It's empty. The more you do, it the more you will learn that it is never satisfying, and never a feeling of being complete. Truth is simple, so being young is hard as there is so much happening with a lot of energy.
As a deacon I have to say Psalm 27 before I go to church. I love this one. I won't say it all.
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? ......
My prayers are for you CopticStrength. Lord have mercy.
focus on taking 1 day at a time.
we all sin.
we all are very ashamed of ourselves sometimes, me too.
confession is hard, but it helps us to get up again and keep going.
Jesus Christ came to save sinners!
so, if u are a sinner, u r automatically included in his love and care.
:)
GBU
http://orthodoxsermons.org/category/keywords/out-pit-retreat
These sermons explain exactly what I am in; this truly came in a time I most need it. Very assuring that there is a way out this pit I have been in for a long time, I am in need to get out.
This "pit of distraction" that I slipped in is exactly what I have been in all along, so thank you +ilovejesus.
And Please pray for me.