Hey guys, as you know from my topic im new
i have a small problem
I have a problem with the sin of lust of the flesh and i need to stop it before i finish planing with my fiancee the wedding and stuff!! She doesnt know yet and i feel bad keeping it from her but i cant tell her.
What do i do?
Comments
when lust comes say: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner
It is very important to talk to your father of confession and seek his advice. I do not believe it is a good advice to tell your fiance because it will cause problems; as long as you confess about it and dont come back to it then there is no need to tell her. You might need to tell her if you are still tempted with that sin after marriage.
Think of that sin as being unfaithful to God and your fiance; pray and never lose hope
If anyone else has anything to say plz do
God Bless
This thread has some useful ideas for dealing with a variety of sins...
http://tasbeha.org/content/community/index.php?topic=7755.0
Father Peter
And if anyone else can put in some words of wisdom plz do
Pray for me
Thank you all
i enjoy it and cannot stop!!
How can i stop enjoying this sin!?!?!
I love her and dont want to hurt her...THIS HAS TO STOP
Prayerfully you need to think of what your repeated sin is causing and will cause in your married life.
i. You will not see any growth in Christ
ii. There might be even an interior spiritual falling away
iii. You will be unable to lead your wife into a life of holiness
iv. You are creating a wall between you and your wife even before you are married
v. You will discover that there will be issues with intimacy with your wife
Is your personal pleasure worth more than the spiritual well being of your wife and the stability of your marriage? This is not a victimless sin, you are sinning against God, against your fiancee, against the image of God in yourself, and you are deforming your habitual view of women.
Ask the Lord to grant you an understanding of the costs associated with habitual sin, you will be entering married life with a serious disability. The answer is not to confess this to your wife, but to be a spiritual man and ask God for the grace to cease this habit, and then act on that grace and enter married life without it being round your neck.
Ask yourself, am I am man, made in the image of God and granted life in the Holy Spirit, or am I an animal, bound only to act out animal passions and instincts. Ask yourself, is this thing I am about to do earning me silver and gold in eternity, or is it hay and straw which must be burnt up.
The Lord bless you and grant you the grace to escape this habit, and the desire to seek teh grace you need.
Father Peter
http://www.4shared.com/file/40472133/e5eeb24c/_________.html
Please keep me in your prayers, especially during the Liturgies you pray :)
Thank you all
and Coptic - i heard that sermon before :) thank you so much :)
Pray for me :)
You enjoy it because you have not fully appreciated the consequences of your habitual actions.
Prayerfully you need to think of what your repeated sin is causing and will cause in your married life.
i. You will not see any growth in Christ
ii. There might be even an interior spiritual falling away
iii. You will be unable to lead your wife into a life of holiness
iv. You are creating a wall between you and your wife even before you are married
v. You will discover that there will be issues with intimacy with your wife
Father Peter
Father i was wondering how do i destroy the wall i have been building? cause i feel that the wall is making me feel less intimate, less caring and loving toward her, and i dont want to ruin a gift from God because of the devils curse...
i really do love her
Pray for me
Pray about it and God bless
+mahraeel+
I'm sorry if my words were harsh, but I'm a victim who was fooled like your fiance and my marriage was destroyed because of the same situation: my man had continuious small regret without any real steps taken which was reflected on our relationship. and i'm telling you God was not in this relationship!!!!!!
If you just get to understand that God GAVE his only begotten son for you and me and his BLOOD is enough to make you stop and is able to give you the will and the power to say NO once it starts, you will be saved and you will save your future family.
Again may God's power help you and I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.
I had meant to reply to your question.
Just as sin creates a wall and a barrier between a man and his wife, so we must seek to build bridges so that we can live a life of intimacy and spiritual growth.
Instead of thinking of ourselves and our own pleasure and satisfaction we should seek to think of our partner, and his or her needs, and to seek to support and nurture their own personal and spiritual development. This need not be some complex programme of activities. Nor should it create a suffocating proximity, since we all need space as well as intimacy.
But we should pray for our partner regularly through each day, asking for a blessing upon them and for their salvation.
We should make sure that regularly, once or twice a week, we do something with them that we know they will enjoy or will please them.
We should make sure that we are regularly found worshipping in Church so that we are able to encourage our partner to pray and worship with us in the various services of the Church.
We should begin to pray together as a couple, perhaps using the Agpeya is best, but also praying for the members of both families.
When they ask us to do something we should be quick to respond to them with pleasure and not irritation. If we have some other thing we must do then we should arrange some other time as soon as possible to do what we are asked. Now is the time we should learn to be obedient to the requests of our future partner. When we are married we will need to be ready to stop what we are doing and do the dishes, or vacuum the carpet or engage in other chores. We cease to be living for ourselves and we must learn to serve the one to whom we are joining our lives. If our partner asks us to go out for a walk, and we want to hang out with our friends, then we should seek to serve our partner, even while this should not be suffocating, there is nothing wrong with having a day when we spend time with our friends.
In the case of a man I do think that it is also necessary that time and thought be taken to make sensitive and 'romantic' gestures, ideally which are unexpected, and which show that the partner is valued and special. These should not overwhelm the relationship, since more than this is required as a foundation for marriage, but it is a continuing aspect of a successful marriage. Indeed after 20 years of marriage I am sure it is as necessary as at the beginning. We must not take our partners for granted.
It is very important that we seek to become holy and dedicated followers of Christ, as this is the necessary basis for helping any other person to grow in Christ themselves. Christ himself, in the gift of his Holy Spirit, is the unity between a married couple. It is by growing closer to Christ that we become closer to the other person. As we grow more distant from Christ then we place barriers between ourselves and all other people, since all of mankind is created in the image of God and of Christ.
We must seek to build and maintain bridges with our partners, asking ourselves often what we should be doing to support their growth, even more than our own. A sinful man will find it impossible to build such bridges because his life is bound up with self. Therefore our first task must be to deny ourselves and seek holiness in the Holy Spirit, then the Holy Spirit himself will teach us when we are serving ourselves and building a barrier, and when we are serving our partner, and are building bridges.
May God bless all married people, and all those preparing for the married state
Father Peter
Keep me in your prayers always
I still cant stop, i need help i want to stop, every time i do it i get this squeezing feeling on my brain and heart and i get angry with myself and those around me and im losing hope i need help i want to stop
I LOVE HER :(
Father Peter, everyone on this site PLEASE PRAY FOR ME :(
There are many types of love.
1-Sacrifice love: when someone gives himself away for others i.e mother to her kids and so on. this is the love of God to his creation
2-Love for a reason: I love you because you are so and so i.e. beautiful, rich.. whatever
3-Conditional love: I love you if you do so and so
4-Selfish love: I love you because you satisfy my needs. It could be social, emotional, whatever.
It is important to figure out what kind of love do you have towards your fiancé.
I honestly, deep in my heart, don’t blame you for any sin. We are all sinning whatever our sins are, and God doesn’t differentiate between sins as we do. Any sin separates us from God and all of us have a sin that separates us from God in a way or another. And I know how hard and humiliating the sin is. But definitely, I can’t see why you are cheating on your fiancé.
Also there are sins that have negative impacts on oneself and others that have negative impacts on other people. Committing adultery when unmarried is committed towards God and oneself. While committing the same sin when married is towards God, oneself, and the partner (kids are also involved if there were any)…
A humble advice from a person who was exposed to a similar situation like your fiancé …. take one battle at a time. All I’m just trying to do is to save you from any future damage that you are unable to see now and then it would be unredeemable to all who are involoved.
God Bless
Besides, you're getting married... I mean, even St Paul encourages people who have no self control to get married, so if anything be thankful.
Umm... if I'm guessing correctly what your sin is, then always pray, even after you have committed this sin. BTW, have you talked to your father of confession about this or not?