› ›

FOC - What do i do ?!

ChristrulesChristrules
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hey guys, i would love to hear everyone's input on this topic, it is something i wish to fix, Especially Father Peter as he is probably a FOC

Ok so i love my abouna like i honestly owe him so much he has taught me so much brought me up in the church so close to our Lord, and keeps me yearning for more knowledge, i love sitting with him and learning from him i love everything he does in our church may God Bless His service AMEN.

But my problem is i cannot no matter how hard i try no matter how much i want i cannot open my heart's contents out to him and tell him my inner most secrets. And i feel that your FOC should be one of the ppl in your life you can open up to, if not the only one you can fully completely do that with. And i wish to fix this.

I think it may be one of two things:
1. i am just not comfortable talking to him -- because i dont truly like all his methods
2. I cant talk to him because of language barriers (his english is weak and my arabic is weaker)

And i can only think of 2 things to do:
1. Find another FOC --- i dont know any and it wouldnt feel right
2. Suck it up --- i dont get the spiritual benefit i am supposed to as God was planning when he set this up.

I need all your help
Pray for me
God Bless :)

Comments

  • Theophilus 1Theophilus 1
    Maybe listing your ‘secrets’ from one to ten (or to whatever number you like) number one being ‘top secret’. Then start from the last and share it with your Abouna. You don’t have to go through the entire list on one day. Just go as far as you feel comfortable and save the rest for another time. Hopefully your intimacy and level of confidence will build up with your Abouna as you climb up your list and experience the relief of confession.
    As you mentioned it is not easy to find a new FOC unless you live in New Jersey where there are more Abounas than in Egypt, lol  :D. So, pray to God to help you open your heart before looking for a new FOC.
    Every time I think of confession I remember the story of St. Moses the Black. When St. Moses the Black was confessing to St. Isidore, St. Isidore saw an angel standing behind St. Moses with a large tablet full of St. Moses sins and erasing each one as he confess it.
    God be with you
    In Christ
    Theophilus
  • coolboy1000gcoolboy1000g
    I had the same problem before, I used to confess to the abouna that I am serving with in the same church and it didnt feel right to tell him about all my secrets and I didnt benefit much from confession. The best thing I did is went to another priest for confession and I really started benefiting from that because I can confess to my FOC but at the same time take spiritual advice from the abouna I serving with.
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    [quote author=Christrules link=topic=8088.msg103909#msg103909 date=1244433612]

    And i can only think of 2 things to do:
    1. Find another FOC --- i dont know any and it wouldnt feel right


    Good luck on that one, (providing you don't live in new jersey), first of all, it won't feel right for you (GUILT), and it might not be toooo nice to Abouna... We can't go "FOC Hopping" from one to another, you can ask the advice of another Priest, but you can't have another FOC (GUILT)... and your Father of Confession has to be ACCESIBLE, and AVAILABLE (and over the phone stuff won't work too well)...

    anyways, sorry if i bothered you...

    p.s. the closest other Priest is at least a 16 hour drive, (unless you are gonna go to the U.S. to confess everytime, then you can to to Minnesota maybe, i think there is a Church there)
  • ChristrulesChristrules
    Well CP,

    thanks for the guilt trip its liek your my mom :P

    anyway ahah on the upside of a 16 hour drive is it shows im actually sorry or else i wouldnt waste my time:P

    just joking :P

    Still hoping to hear from Father Peter,
    Thank You all,
    and dont stop the comments :)
    God Bless
  • dandun146dandun146
    I think we all have somethings that we are afraid to tell Abouna because we don't want to ruin our good image, or we think he will look at us differently now, with less respect. But at least in my personal experience, nothing could be further from the truth. First of all, it is so liberating to know that there is someone who knows all of the real you, best and worse, and still loves you. And actually, loves you even more than before, because of your courage to tell the truth, and your repentance. Also you might have a big problem or habit to break, that Abouna can help you work on over time, and that's why it is good for him to be close...
  • Unknown
    hey,
    You know, i have the same problem.  There is always inner secrets  that I am just keeping to my self.  Eventually your FOC will sense that you are not telling him important details.  He might try to get it out of you, or, you yourself will find that day where you start spilling it all out.  I think maybe you should tell everything to yourself and talk it out with God, and then build the courage to talking to your FOC.

    +mahraeel+
  • coolboy1000gcoolboy1000g
    I agree with what has been posted about sticking to one FOC as it is not beneficial to keep switching from one abouna to the other. However, I dont see any guilt in changing your FOC if you feel that you are not benefiting as much as you should or that you are not confessing all your sins.
  • ChristrulesChristrules
    hey guys thanks for the input, but i think you missed my point.

    This isnt about being afraid of the way he thinks about me, and its not about a certain sin i cant tell him.
    I have told him some deep stuff and he still respects me and I him, this is not what this was about at all.

    What i was trying to say is there are certain things i feel like i dont want to tell him because i am not comfortable with the person, not the Abouna, and this is cutting back from my spiritual benefit of confession and i wish to fix this.

    Pray for me
    God Bless
  • Abounasarecool
    Hey =]
    I think you should tell abouna how you feel...like since you are close to him just tell him that you are kind of afraid or not comfortable telling him your deepest secrets...but if u dont have this kind of relationship with him and if u dont feel comfortable..i think its ok to switch abounas..
    look at this link...maybe u will find something helpful =] Its questions answered by Bishop  Youssef

    http://www.suscopts.org/q&a/index.php?qid=75&catid=83
    http://www.suscopts.org/q&a/index.php?qid=76&catid=83

    and more questions at http://www.suscopts.org/q&a/index.php?catid=83

    i hope this helped!!
  • ChristrulesChristrules
    Thank you all
    And yeah it did thank you all so much
    And plz I would love to hear your opinion father peter

    God bless
    pray for me
  • peterfarringtonpeterfarrington
    I hesitate to add much to this thread because I am only a very new priest.

    It seems to me that we may seek spiritual counsel in more than one place, and that there is a sense in which the one who gives us spiritual advice needs to be someone we are comfortable with, respect, trust etc. even more than the one to whom we confess.

    This is not always the same as the Father to whom we confess, in that we confess essentially to Christ, and the FoC is there to help facilitate the grace of repentance which is from God. It seems to me, and I am only offering a personal opinion, that it is best to not switch FoCs too much, but that it is reasonable to seek spiritual advice from other Fathers. Indeed we know that some have spiritual advisors who are monks or even nuns, and who cannot give an absolution.

    The danger is switching around too much simply to find someone whose opinions match our own.

    Father Peter
  • Unknown
    I didnt know abouna was interested in our "inner most" secrets? I thought he just wanted to take confessions?

    Why don't you start by telling him your sins.

    The best way to start is to say "I sinned" - and say what you did.

    If your sins are your inner most secrets - I honestly think you should tell your FoC.

    You can like the personality of the priest more than another, and feel comfortable with one more than another, but at the end of the day, you are confessing to God. It wouldnt make a difference if he's nice or not.

    Having said that, there are some priests who are BRILLIANT spiritual guides. So - if u confess, they'd help u with the correct advice. That's just a bonus as far as I can see. The most important part is to confess.
  • ChristrulesChristrules
    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=8088.msg104107#msg104107 date=1245149344]
    I didnt know abouna was interested in our "inner most" secrets? I thought he just wanted to take confessions?

    Why don't you start by telling him your sins.




    no i think you missed my point....i do tell him my sins....but thats all i tell him, i never get spiritual advice abouna teenage life from him...and i wish i could

    does that make sense?

    and thank you very much Father Peter
    and all of you Thank you :)
    Plz keep putting your opinions
  • Unknown
    [quote author=Christrules link=topic=8088.msg104115#msg104115 date=1245207311]
    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=8088.msg104107#msg104107 date=1245149344]
    I didnt know abouna was interested in our "inner most" secrets? I thought he just wanted to take confessions?

    Why don't you start by telling him your sins.




    no i think you missed my point....i do tell him my sins....but thats all i tell him, i never get spiritual advice abouna teenage life from him...and i wish i could

    does that make sense?

    and thank you very much Father Peter
    and all of you Thank you :)
    Plz keep putting your opinions


    Good luck!!

    I hope God blesses with the most perfect FoC in the world.

    I agree with u though, spiritual advice is important from an FoC, even if you don't ask for it.
  • elsi70x7elsi70x7
    Remember u r confessing to GOD not man.
Sign In or Register to comment.