my sister is younger than me by a couple of years. she is like two people. at home she shuns anyone who wants to talk to her, makes trouble in the house, doesnt want to help anyone and treats me bad. in front of other people she just changes and pretends to be this angel that fell from heaven, she actually says "hi" to me (for once), she helps people out and tries to look good in front of people. its really getting too much, people are really dissullusioned and tell me that she is 'nice' and i just dont know how to deal with it or what to say. i have no idea why she is pretending maybe because she wants to get married or something because she pretends in front of my friends more than anyone or when my friends are there she would try and get their attention. its really not right because she is not being honest with herself and when i tried to tell her that she would say 'well i dont care what you think'. why I am worried about this is because the Bible says not to be double minded and as her brother i do care about her salvation and she should just be one person and honest with everyone about who she really is.
i clearly cant talk to abouna because he will be biased on her behalf because she usually acts in front of him too and he doesnt know her behind closed doors.
on my part, what else should i do about it?
Comments
There are many reasons that people do this and from experience:
1. they are insecure about themselves or immature or not really in touch with their identity
2. they are craving praise from men
3. they are trying to cover up who they really are by covering themselves up with something the complete opposite.
and I have to add another one you mentioned:
4. they are trying to get married
being an example of someone who is 1 person at home and outside is also another thing you can do.
I really hope you all the best, have a blessed Pascha and remember me in your prayers.
take care,
Mina.
pray for me also
Jonah
intention is good-- maybe even try to avoid this kind of reflection beginning in the first place
Don't dwell on this reaction on your part. That may be better.
Of course, if this problem changes, you won't worry about comments that will be true all the time!
Your sister is not older; you are, so she should listen especially if approached in an unusual way...
Patience
Your sister is probably a nice person, its not an act. The reason she acts like that at home is just her letting off steam.. just every day baggage that she carries around she takes out on you guys! Why? because you're her family & she know's you'll love her no matter what!
The extremeness is probably just a phase.. How old is she ?
your sister will probably grow out of it. many teenage girls go through a period of being unhappy at home, confused about who they are, insecure, and also wanting attention. they also, in all honesty, can have a tendency to be selfish and aggressive at times, too.
a lot of things happen to young women, such as social pressure, emotional ups and downs, not being sure what they want from people, and feeling caged in by family. that doesn't mean she has a bad family or doesn't really love her family, but emotional ups and downs and difficulties can make people difficult to deal with, and double-sided about how they treat people.
it's not your fault. it's something your sister will have to work out, and grow out of. imo, it is best to not correct people when they say your sister is so nice. she may not be so nice at home, and you may be groaning and beside yourself on the inside when people say that. but as Mina said, if the Lord wants to expose her double sidedness for her own good, discipline, growth, or humbling, He will. pray for her, and pray for yourself and your family as well, for patience and charity towards her. it is difficult for all of you, but then teenage girls are rarely simple.
4. they are trying to get married
[quote author=JonahYoussef link=topic=9055.msg112726#msg112726 date=1270128637]
i have no idea why she is pretending maybe because she wants to get married
really? i'll keep that in mind, never to be nice to a guy lest he think i want to marry him...
your sister is not doing anything wrong, many "nice" people are not always "nice" they say in Egypt, "do you know that person? if you don't live with them, you don't know them" I don't know how old your sister is, so I cannot talk much about the age criteria... so maybe if we know her age, we can talk with more knowledge! but I'm guessing she is in her teenage years which is normal that one would seek outside companionship than family!
yousi... not every problem in this world is due to men... and not every wrong is caused by men... but females are more emotional, and they are more sensitive, so from the smallest thing, they can have a lot of mood changes! while at home the smallest thing can trigger such a mood change, but while outside a change of surrounding can cause the brain to forget about all these "problems" which can cause one to be more passive and tolerant to problem... and even forget some of the repressed problems that were experienced throughout the week! also at church there is friends, who relief the person from their problems!
so its not because they want to get married...
an answer from a Man!
neshkor Allah, akhadna el baraka!
my sister is younger than me by a couple of years. she is like two people. at home she shuns anyone who wants to talk to her, makes trouble in the house, doesnt want to help anyone and treats me bad. in front of other people she just changes and pretends to be this angel that fell from heaven, she actually says "hi" to me (for once), she helps people out and tries to look good in front of people. its really getting too much, people are really dissullusioned and tell me that she is 'nice' and i just dont know how to deal with it or what to say. i have no idea why she is pretending maybe because she wants to get married or something because she pretends in front of my friends more than anyone or when my friends are there she would try and get their attention. its really not right because she is not being honest with herself and when i tried to tell her that she would say 'well i dont care what you think'. why I am worried about this is because the Bible says not to be double minded and as her brother i do care about her salvation and she should just be one person and honest with everyone about who she really is.
i clearly cant talk to abouna because he will be biased on her behalf because she usually acts in front of him too and he doesnt know her behind closed doors.
on my part, what else should i do about it?
Is she protestant/evangelical? Does she listen to evangelical speakers or attend their prayer meetings?
this thread really made my day
u guys crack me up
lol
this thread really made my day
u guys crack me up
haha I second that :)