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My future?

abanoub2000abanoub2000
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Guys ever since I was able to comprehend speech my parents kept telling me how I should grow up to be a Doctor or a dentist. Once I entered into high school I focused allot on science classes, I am taking as many of them as humanely possible and I do pretty well in most of them. But recently we have been discussing careers in my school and I am starting to realize that I am taking science classes and pursuing a career in health not for me but for my parents.

Today I decided to bring this up with them and one of them just got up and left the house!! The other one started yelling about how she left her family and friends to move here for my education.

I am so confused right now.... I don't really want to become a doctor but I can't ignore the sacrifices my parents made for me.

AND to make matters worse.... I am not sure what I want to do with my life, the only thing I really do and enjoy is probably going to church, which isnt a career, unfortunately.

Comments

  • copticcross3copticcross3
    heyyy i'm in the same boat :]
    i've always 'wanted to be a doctor' but now i just realize it'sbecause it's what my parents want...
    except for my parents are a little more willing to accept another career..i just can't think of anything...

    i think if you figure out something that you feell ike you would enjoy more...they might be more willing to accept it.  You can't just tell them you don't want to be a doctor and then offer no alternate solution.

    Also, what makes you think you don't want to be a doctor, have you throroughly looked into it and just realized it's not your thing?  or what?
  • abanoub2000abanoub2000
    It's not that, I wouldnt mind being a doctor, but i just dont enjoy my science classes even though i am good at it. I dont want to study something i hate for 10 years :(
  • user00
    I know exactly what you're talking about. Well, the most important thing do is to pray! It sounds like you're a junior in high school, because seniors would have already decided by May 1st I believe. Consider several science possibilities which your parents might not have such a hard time with: pharmacy, engineering, medicine, dentistry. Look into the school, the length, what courses you'll have to take, talk to people already in those fields. Know that there is surely a blessing in obeying your parents, but that the final decision is ultimately up to you. Make sure you take full responsibility for whatever you decide-- like if later on in life you're making a salary you can't live comfortably on or whatever. Your parents only want what they think is best for you, but I know how tense it can get, believe, I was in your exact position not too long ago. Pray sincerely, apply broadly, see where you get in, distance from home, coursework, career prospects, future salary, and believe that in due time, God will lead you to where you're supposed to be. At the same time, I would advise you not to get too caught up in the lofty idealism taught in American school advising-- the "do what you like" philosophy. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, but I think it should be balanced with the practicality and realism of your parents, i.e., will I find a job after all my hard work that I can support a family with? I think if you can live with something like pharmacy school, engineering, or whatever it may be (hint hint, those are good compromises to medicine that most parents can deal with-- there are many good jobs for pharmacists, they get paid well, and it's only about 6 years of school, only 2 more than a regular bachelor's), so if you can live with it and do well in science, it might not be such a bad idea after all. And if there are a few other subjects you have interests in, any program will require you to take non-science electives anyway so you can get some of those out of your system.

    Pray pray pray, and may God enlighten your decision =).
  • Marina6
    hey i know wat you mean
    i had the same prob, my parents wanted me to do pharm and i dont realy think i wanna do it ...I would LOVE to have a career in church as you said but there is a way for that too..
    What i did is i listened to my parents to do pharm since YES they gave their lives and friends for us soo i had to sacrifice something too and pharm is not a bad career ( or doc) in your case..
    YOU can STILL work in church by serving in sundayschool, alhan, deaconate (if you have that)or any other service besides teaching and you will honestly feel like you have the best of both worlds
    you are serving God like you have always wanted , you have listened to your parents and made them happy.. and most of all you got a great career you can handle and live from and you are happy with..
    but if you dont think you will be good as a doc look for another career but personally i wasnt drawn to anything to watever they said i was mutual about it.

    God be with you
  • abanoub2000abanoub2000
    Yeah I'm a junior. I want to talk to them about Psychology, but idk what kind of job I could get studying psychology  ???

  • user00
    You could be a psychology major pre-med and do psychiatry--that's a doctor ;)
  • abanoub2000abanoub2000
    hahah i knew that one was coming lol

    But I like being a psych major doing pre-med.

    But would I still have to take mostly science classes to get into a med school? or psych classes?
  • user00
    Well, I would tell you to look at the school you want to go to-- but you will take classes for your psych major, and the standard pre-med courses, which are:

    1- a year of general chemistry
    2- a year of general biology
    3- a year of organic chemistry
    4- a year of physics
    5- a year of writing classes

    that includes the lab for each of those classes. That's pretty standard for any pre-med. But aside from those, you'll be taking your psych classes and fulfill your general education requirements (each school is slightly different on those).

    :)
  • abanoub2000abanoub2000
    Physics?!! Unless you got a patient with his own gravitaional pull I dont see that ever coming in handy >D
  • the_leastthe_least
    2 things your parents SHOULD NEVER force you to choose: your career and your wife... because it will affect your entire life.

    like others already said, there are many things to consider and ultimately God should be the One choosing. Also, keep this in mind "if God gives you a bucket filled with water and a mop, it's obvious what he wants you to do... he doesn't have to yell it out loud in your ear" (Fr. Anthony Messeh) ... think about what you're good at.

    Your parents want the best for you but what they don't realize is that being a doctor might not be the best for you.
  • yousiegtennisyousiegtennis
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  • mikehenrymikehenry
    Abanoub, God be with you as you make this decision!

    I'm graduating high school in less than two weeks and I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with my life. Thankfully, my parents are not pushing any career path on me, and I'm going to a liberal arts college in Boston, so my options are open. But I'd be OK with the "traditional Egyptian" careers. My advice to you would be first figure out your true interests. Some questions to ask yourself:

    In a library or bookstore, what section do I usually find myself in if I'm not there for any specific purpose?
    If I'm spending time online, what websites do I visit frequently (tasbeha.org! haha)?
    What classes do I enjoy? In which ones would I not mind spending a whole day of school?
    What are my hobbies?
    What kinds of books or articles do I like to read when I get the chance?
    What am I good at?

    Etc... etc... I can find you some resources if you'd like, since I just went through the whole college application/ acceptance/ enrollment process this past year.

    When you have a general idea of your interests, see if they can match up with career choices that your parents would be happy with or would accept. For example, if you like math a lot, think about engineering or computer science. If you like foreign languages, or if you like English language or literature, or history, or political science, maybe they would accept the idea of pursuing a Ph.D. in those fields (as yousiegtennis is doing with English... I think that's awesome, by the way!). Perhaps you can do that with psychology, since you mentioned that (that's the major I applied with, by the way.. haha).

    My family was talking about this yesterday, and my mom, who went to medical school in Egypt, said that she learned to like being a doctor, so I don't think it will be too bad if you enter medical school to please your parents. Keep your options open, though!

    God be with you!

    Mike
  • Abounasarecool
    aww..this definitely sounds like egyptian parents!! lol
    I think they all say that bc thats just their mentality and they dont understand
    your point of view.
    Pray about what you want to do & pray that your parents will soften their heart...prayers work =]
    Also, talk to abouna about it..tell him you dont know what to do in your future and tell
    him that your parents want u to be a doctor and u dont want to..im sure he can help...maybe he can even talk to them..
    i was having problems with my parents once and abouna kept insisting to talk to them..and i was like FINEE lol and they acted
    so different after looool
    Dont worry about your future =] Leave it in the hands of God
    =]
    Rubina maak
  • abanoub2000abanoub2000
    Well it took a 3 hour argument (yala7wey) But I think we got something. But at the end they are Ok with dentistry

    and when I mentioned psychology they told me I needed a psychologist (then i told them i had superman but they didnt get it).... overall I think I am making progress :D
  • yousiegtennisyousiegtennis
    .
  • godislove260godislove260
    Just a few remarks..

    As a uni student myself I can tell you this: when you are overwhelmed by a great amout of work, many deadlines, exams etc. and you start to stress, it's the fact that you're doing something you love that'll get you through it all
    because you'll be studying something you are genuinly interested in and working toward a career in a field that you care for so you'll be prepared to go that extra mile to excel and be the best in your field

    I didn't have your problem of pushy parents, but I do know how it's like when Egyptian society expects you to study medicine, or otherwise they start to doubt your intelligence loool, I also know how it's like when half your family seem to be doctors and you feel that in order to 'fit in' you have to be one too       

    in the end I pursued a study that is completely different and has nothing to do with medicine, but it was the study I wanted and the study I found God chose for me, and that's what matters!

    so my advice: FIRST ask God, and remember He can talk to you through your heart
                      DON'T do something you're not completely ok with just to please your parents, you may regret it later on...

    May God guide you
  • sodr2sodr2
    [quote author=Godislove260 link=topic=9219.msg114340#msg114340 date=1273643349]

    As a uni student myself I can tell you this: when you are overwhelmed by a great amout of work, many deadlines, exams etc. and you start to stress, it's the fact that you're doing something you love that'll get you through it all
    because you'll be studying something you are genuinly interested in and working toward a career in a field that you care for so you'll be prepared to go that extra mile to excel and be the best in your field

    i needed this...just in time!!
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