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In the name of the Father, the son and the Holy Spirit, one God, amen
Hello brothers and sisters,
I am 17, 5 year, live in Europe and if I passed my exams I go to a college insha2allah.
I live with my father only and don't have any brothers of sisters.
This is just some information about me, to know how to deal with my problem, now we're
going to the topic :P
My father is always very worried about me and I think most egyptians parents are, especially
when they're from upper-Egypt, like mine. My father works temporarily from afternoon until late in the evening, so the rest of the day I'm home alone. I just finished my exams, only have to wait for the result and then resist one exam. In my spare time, I actually sit at home all the time. The only thing which I go out for, is sunday to the church and maybe just shopping with my father. I find this very annoying. I also want to go out with my friends, make nice trips and also attend the youthmeeting in za church. Unfortunately, this seldom happens, for like I said, my dad is tóó worried and not only that, he also loves me too much. Not that this is a problem, by contrary, I also love him very much and I know that he has sacrificed a lot for me. But he don't let me go, he sticks too too much and want me night and day with him. I don't think he understands that I need the love from friends too and I also need to be social. I almost have very few friends. I have almost no freedom.
Everywhere I hear friends talking about where they all go, to the park, a concert, whatever, but I can not go anywhere. Even with going to the church, my father makes a big deal. First I couldn't go to the weekly youth meeting for years, because of school, but if I do not have school, he devises any other "reason" as I want you to stay with me, or whatever. Even if a friend ask me to go somewhere hang around, I must first ask my father, then my father then says "give me time to think about it ', afterward he takes days to 'think' and when I ask him afterwards about it he says "do not complain''(while I'm not whining, I just want to know in time, my friends have other plans to and they won't wait for ever. And finally he says quite often no. If he agrees, it's with too much effort, discussion and bickering, which I hate, because I just want my dad agrees with me without all the fuss.
I know that I made many mistakes in my life and had wrong relationships with a boy(the last one ended about a year ago), but I learned from my mistakes and I know that with the power of Jesus Christ, I can overcome all sins and know where my boundaries are. I've decided I'll do my best as far as possible to live according to God's will. I just started to try to pray at least 2 times each day, Bible reading and listen to teraniem (spiritual songs) and sermons. At home I am often behind the computer trying to work on spiritual things and on msn and facebook and if I do not, then I watch TV. But that's it. This is my whole day: I wake up to approximately 10, 11 hours, breakfast, pray, or whether I'll clean up, or I go to the computer to do my thing, watching television, eating, praying, reading Bible. computer, sleeping. That was it. Go outside? No way, my father is at work but I am home. I can't stay 24/ a day at home, I just want my freedom, and I don't mean the "freedom" to do bad things, but my own freedom to make choices by myself and that I can take decisions about where and with whom I go somewhere. But I do not have that freedom. I know my father's trust has harmed after he heard a long while ago that I had a relationship, but I want a chance to prove that I no longer go back to the old situation. Further, I really want to get a job this holiday (supermarket, call center, etc) but my father makes a big deal and says "I do not want you to get tired, you should rest, or it is not necessary." But I want to develop myself, be independent, not dependent of my father. Sometimes we go in the summer on holiday to Egypt, which is nice, but I also want to hang around with my friends from my own country, because this is my place. I also feel so excluded /left out in the church. There is one attached group of youth, but I feel I'm not in the group, because I barely come to church because of my father. Isn't being sociable important or not?! ???
So the point is: I would like get advice about how I can convince my dad that I am independent enough to choose for myself and so I can hang out with my friends and going to church when I want. I would also have advice about how I can convince him that I can take a job.
Everyone's opinion is welcome, even if you know statements of bishops (eg. Anba Mousa) about why being socialble is important, willingly.
GB
Comments
2. You worked hard at school and would like to have fun
3. Remind father of what he did as a teenager, even though he is a boy and may have grown up in a different country
4. Then, say you will have support from decent friends.
5. He has taught you a lot: now you should use it
6. He will eventually not worry as much
7. Please: say you have waited a long time for a little bit of freedom
8. Start with baby steps (place close by, time not very long)
9. Go over how you are safe, detail your thinking process in good way
10. be calm about all of these things
11. Have many back-up plans (ex. cell phone)
12. Ask if you had had a brother, how would he have been allowed to go outside and why? What is the reason?
Also, remind your father that you are not growing up in Upper Egypt while addressing his real concerns and mostly just pray about this issue, for your dad to let go smoothly.
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possible without even using words? May take a while, but is very convincing with some circumstances.
that would be a start and you could pray together, watch a movie, cook some food for the church (get each person to bring a different ingredient) etc.
remember me in ur prayers,
GB
because you said they go to concerts etc.. if they invite you to come then go .. if they do not invite you then you should not be troubled..find something else to do
every good and perfect giveth cometh from above, from the father of light.. who gives all things
In Matthew Jesus says "Do not worry about clothing" I believe it refers to socialisation also
My darling.. you should trust God and not be disturbed about other people
because you said they go to concerts etc.. if they invite you to come then go .. if they do not invite you then you should not be troubled..find something else to do
every good and perfect giveth cometh from above, from the father of light.. who gives all things
In Matthew Jesus says "Do not worry about clothing" I believe it refers to socialisation also
Thanks Mike, you are right about that I have to trust God and not be worried.
But the problem is not that my friends don't invite me....if I can I could go to many
places with them..the prob is My Father, that he don't give me the freedom that I need and to socialisate. I also want to go to the European Youth Conference in England this year...I asked my dad..
he said: If God want it. I know that I only go if God is willing, but we also need to prepare for it and
not doing nothing and say :"God will arrange it". (or am I wrong?)
Pray for me and God bless
its quite informative..
& Dont give up in prayer
bc it can move mountains.
Pray until you get what u want.
There was a lady who went in the altar and didnt
come out until God promised her a son.
God hears your prayers...pray until God gives you what you want.
This is hard, but its the struggle behind prayer.
you can do it =]