It was summer time in Paris, during the feast of St Mary - and most of the youth of the Catholic Church were outside Notre Dame Cathedral celebrating. I was sitting with some of them on the courtyard who were singing some songs.
This handicapped guy comes along with crutches. There was only one chair, so we all stopped what we were doing, everyone offered to give him their place so he could sit down. The entire prayer stopped just to make him feel comfortable.
At the end, after about 1 hour of sitting down with us, he just got up and walked off. He wasn't handicapped. .he was some drunk guy pretending to be handicapped. I did think it was funny - but its just he REALLY disturbed everyone, and he couldnt care less about anything. lol
[quote author=ilovesaintmark link=topic=7964.msg103069#msg103069 date=1242185779] I was trying to teach a little boy about the Resurrection re-enactment and that Our Lord is Risen. As I was carrying him (the child) around for the procession, he said to me: "If everyone here is to celebrate him rising from the dead, then why did He go up there when everybody is down here (as he points to the Crucifix Icon as it sits atop the iconostasis). I was humbled by a child. When of the few times I smile as I process around the church.
[quote author=ilovesaintmark link=topic=7964.msg103068#msg103068 date=1242185616] How about the little kid at our church, who thought that abouna was trying to hit his father, bopped abouna. The priest was doing the tapping/crossing blessing with the water at the end of the liturgy for the servants of the altar and it was misinterpreted by the little kid, so he wanted to protect and defend his father.
LOL how cute!!! They're my favourite ones of all. Children are so simple, I wish we could be like them sometimes!
(sorry for posting in an old thread I just found most of these posts so lighthearted)
Abounda was sprinkling water on the girl's side, starting from the door towards the altar, and I noticed a girl (I guess too much was sprinkled on her) dodged it like it was burning her skin :D
[quote author=sodr2 link=topic=7964.msg111751#msg111751 date=1268071983] I remember recently...
Abounda was sprinkling water on the girl's side, starting from the door towards the altar, and I noticed a girl (I guess too much was sprinkled on her) dodged it like it was burning her skin :D
I did this once, and since then Abouna has made it his mission to soak me at the end of EVERY liturgy!
Abounda was sprinkling water on the girl's side, starting from the door towards the altar, and I noticed a girl (I guess too much was sprinkled on her) dodged it like it was burning her skin :D
I did this once, and since then Abouna has made it his mission to soak me at the end of EVERY liturgy!
Matthew
lol, Abouna always somehow targets only me when I have my hair straightened! (Water causes a dramatic boofiness reaction with my hair). ;D
When I was about 8 years old, I was a deacon with my big brother. Then all of a sudden from no where, everybody started looking at me, and some where laughing. And then my brother blew the wind out of me, and he smacked me really hard on the top of my head! I asked him what that was for. Turns out that he accidentally lit my hair on fire from the candle he was holding.
Soo i was watching a mass in Egypt done in English (yal7wey).... and during the litany of the travelers the deacon says "Pray for our fazers and our brezren who are travelinged, ....... whether by sea, rivers, lakes, roads, air, and the trees..."
I have a good story to say. During Passion Weak, we told one of the church kids to read. The kid stood by the Mangaleya, & instead of saying "From Saint Samuel the Confessor May his blessing be with us Amen", he said "From St Samuel the Professor may his blessing be with all amen". I never heard so much laughter from our priest & congregation as much as this day. We were cracking up for ages after what this kid said.
When I was around 8, a bishop (I think it was possibly H.G. Bishop Misael) came to visit the church and was accompanied by a lot of priests (7-10). So anyway, I was serving in the altar, and then after washing the Chalice and Paten, the bishop proffered the Paten filled with water for the deacons to drink from. When it came to my turn, to my eternal shame, instead of just accepting it on my lips and drinking, I tool the Paten from him with both hands and tipped the water down my throat! All of the priests and bishop immediately burst out laughing ;D I was very embarrassed at the time, but in hindsight, it was pretty funny :D
I posted this in a thread called "is this from the Devil" as it was so funny, I nearly cried with laughter during the mass.
One day I was at Church and a deacon asked me if I could read the Epistle. I said "OH no... not saint Paul.. its too confusing. He's so philosophical. 'I am, we are, therefore, I am' .
I think actually, it was the Acts or something to do with Saint Paul.
I get lost in most of his books. Anyway, the man insisted (because I speak good English), and I went ahead to read.
Saint Paul, in the Epistle, was talking to someone called Festus. The letter started as follows: "O Great Festus!".
As I was reading, I felt, or thought I heard myself say "O Great Fetus"
I paused for a moment. I looked at everyone, and everyone looked OK. No one laughed.. and I thought to myself "OK.. cool, i didnt say anything wrong".
As I was reading, this voice in my head just screamed at me saying "FETUS! FETUS! FETUS!! FETUS"
The voices got louder and louder..my reading pace slowed down as I tried to subconsiously hide this voice. I couldnt..it was amazing. Like someone was talking to me to me in my head, and he (or SHE!) didnt want to be ignored.
My reading pace about half way through was getting to the point of kiddy style reading.. and I was trying, with all my might not to let a smirk or a hint of a giggle appear on my face.
As I was reading, and saying his name, i had to make the physical effort to accentuate Festus's name. I kept on saying "FeSStuss .. FesssSSSStuss". I really over-pronounced the middle "S" in his name so much, i was beginning to feel stupid just doing that.
It was a hard Epistle to read.. but I did it.. until something weired happened.
Saint Paul, as he was talking to this FeStus guy, seemed a bit upset with FeStus. Then this voice said to me "At least my mom didn't call me FeStus!"
I brushed away that thought INSTANTLY. I didnt allow that sentence to breed in my head. I still managed to survive without laughing. I finally finished reading. I went down to the toilets INSTANTLY, and i broke out in tears of laughter like a madman.
I feel really bad about that. I really feel it wasn't me at all talking to myself. I felt.. I couldnt have been that funny whilst concentrating on reading the Bible?
When I was in 3rd grade I asked my Sunday School teacher, who was a youth at the time, why we don't look to the right when the deacon says "Look towards the east". My teacher said I brought up a valid point and that we should all start looking to the right during that part. We started spreading the news to our friends and other kids in church. So, during the liturgy whenever the deacon said that response, all the kids in church turned their faces to the right. We did it for several weeks, and I guess someone brought it to Abouna's attention, because he mentioned in his English sermon how the church is already built towards the east.
Moral of the story: youth should not serve in sunday school until they are both spiritually, and logically ready.
Anba Aghathon bishop of Brazil related to us the following story:
As soon as he began his service in Brazil, there was only one egyptian deacon who knew all the hymns, rites...etc. So once during the morning vesper, a Brazilian deacon (who was recently baptised Christian and ordained as a deacon) served inside the alter. H.G was outside the alter praying the first part of the morning vesper (which is without the shoriya). As H.G. finished the prayer he signalled the (Brazilian) deacon to bring him the shoriya. Habitually any deacon would hold the shoriya to abouna with one hand and hold the container containing the incense with the other hand. Rather this deacon got the shoriya, put the incense on it HIMSELF and bought it to H.G
I started crying from laughter when i first heard this story.
Most embarrassing moment of my life, was once during a mass. Abouna said "eshlil", and it was my turn to respond, so i reply and say "eshlil". The whole church stops, and it became dead silent, and it didnt hit me what i done, until 5 seconds later and in these situations 5 secs feels like 5 hours.
Once abouna said eshlil and an old uncle responded saying irini pasi. Every living soul dropped dead in laughter.
I am 13 and once I was the only one deacon attending an asheya during the nayrouz. Abouna told me to lead. In my book it says that you have to say amoini or ten-ouosht THEN say esmo epi-eklom for the verses of the cymbals. Apparently, you should just say esmou... I had no idea. Abouna leaves the shoria, comes out in the khorus and says the entire verses of the cymbals for nayrouz instead of me. There was a big silence waiting for abouna to finish the procession with the shoria. Thank God, more deacons came for the doxologies.
Once an Arabic priest coming from egypt was praying the asheya. A little english speaking boy instead of saying Salou min agle el ingeel el mokadas, he said, salou min agle el kedees el mokadas. Everybody was laughing and abouna could bearely continue the vespers. His sermon was based entirely on that little boy.
Whenever, I think of more, I will post them, Pray for me, God bless,
Hehe we've had some funny typos and mispronunciations of readings. My favourites:
A kid reading the Gospel on Good Friday read 'Pontius Plate' instead of Pontius Pilate.
In one of the Synaxarium readings (I can't remember which) the saint is 'overcome by sleep', but in this case the reader said: 'he was overcome by sheep'.
A liturgy book that is widely used in Sydney (many users here would know it - the small white/yellow one) asks us to 'Pray for holy Orthodox feathers.'
One hymn for our hermit fathers and mothers told us how they gave their lives to Christ by 'living in the dessert'. The image monks living of a gigantic bowl of ice cream was hard to avoid.
On the Powerpoint presentation we use as a guide to our liturgy, the hyperlink leading to the Liturgy of St. Gregory is titled 'Grogery' - which sounds very much like a place for storing alcohol.
My absolute FAVOURITES come from two VERY poorly translated books of the lives of Saints from Egypt. The first is a book called The Glory of the Coptic Church which has an entire chapter dedicated to Pope Kyrollos I - the Pill of Faith (instead of Pillar of Faith :D) I spent my whole childhood thinking the author meant that interceding to him was liking taking a pill which made your faith stronger.
The second is a little pamphlet about the life St. Samuel the Confessor, who was tortured and harassed by the Berbers, a tribe of nomads who lived in the Egyptian desert. However, this translator unfortunately used the word 'Barbers' instead, not once, but repeatedly. And thus the entire pamphlet describes the horrible things which a tribe of militant hairdressers inflicted upon the saint.
Language can be a very tricky thing :D Pray for me
lol my priest is newly ordained, and isn't quite used to being a priest yet! One time during the liturgy, he sang "tenoosht evol kha et-hee..." with us. Then the priest is supposed to say "eshleel", but he forgot he was the priest, so the church got quiet, and abouna looked at the deacons next to him in confusion then said "ah ana? malish naset ya nas. eshleel"
[quote author=epchois_nai_nan link=topic=7964.msg123851#msg123851 date=1291759583] A liturgy book that is widely used in Sydney (many users here would know it - the small white/yellow one) asks us to 'Pray for holy Orthodox feathers.'
Only St. Marks uses that book as I recall... lol
There's so many mistakes in the Pascha books.. and yes this time EVERY church in Sydney uses the same english book. LOL
[quote author=TITL link=topic=7964.msg123861#msg123861 date=1291760873] lol my priest is newly ordained, and isn't quite used to being a priest yet! One time during the liturgy, he sang "tenoosht evol kha et-hee..." with us. Then the priest is supposed to say "eshleel", but he forgot he was the priest, so the church got quiet, and abouna looked at the deacons next to him in confusion then said "ah ana? malish naset ya nas. eshleel"
This thread actually made me LOL! No wonder the deacons are always laughing! You guys get to be on the inside and no one ever tells us girls what's so funny >:( haha anyways good stories, made my day :) I wonder if God laughs at these things too.
when I was little me and my friend use to play in the altar.... One day after we just learned how to light the shorya abouna walks in on me and my friend.... pretending to be abouna.... we were taking shorya smoke in our hand and throwing it in eachothers faces (like during the institution narrative)
Once there was a baptism and some deacons took a cordless mic and went to the back of the church. Like always, you can't see anything past the fist row except tiny little heads. An uncle wanted to say something, I think regarding the communion (it was done). He took the mic and just started talking when you hear a loud voice saying "Epouro" and that uncle almost drops the mic on the floor in fear and tells us(in a loud voice, pretty sure everyone heard) il soat do ga minen... all the deacons in the khorus start laughing. We strugle to say epouro with the deacon leading but all you hear is laughter. We then go to say the name of the baptisee and all say a different name... That was hilarious.
Another time, this guy was leading and just randomly snaps during communion and screams at the deacon beside him. Everyone starts laughing.
Another thing, a little off subject, how do you say lem nafsak in english... collect yourself. ;D :D LOL
[quote author=epchois_nai_nan link=topic=7964.msg123851#msg123851 date=1291759583] The second is a little pamphlet about the life St. Samuel the Confessor, who was tortured and harassed by the Berbers, a tribe of nomads who lived in the Egyptian desert. However, this translator unfortunately used the word 'Barbers' instead, not once, but repeatedly. And thus the entire pamphlet describes the horrible things which a tribe of militant hairdressers inflicted upon the saint.
That last sentence literally made me fall out of my chair.
Comments
It was summer time in Paris, during the feast of St Mary - and most of the youth of the Catholic Church were outside Notre Dame Cathedral celebrating. I was sitting with some of them on the courtyard who were singing some songs.
This handicapped guy comes along with crutches. There was only one chair, so we all stopped what we were doing, everyone offered to give him their place so he could sit down. The entire prayer stopped just to make him feel comfortable.
At the end, after about 1 hour of sitting down with us, he just got up and walked off. He wasn't handicapped. .he was some drunk guy pretending to be handicapped. I did think it was funny - but its just he REALLY disturbed everyone, and he couldnt care less about anything. lol
I was trying to teach a little boy about the Resurrection re-enactment and that Our Lord is Risen. As I was carrying him (the child) around for the procession, he said to me: "If everyone here is to celebrate him rising from the dead, then why did He go up there when everybody is down here (as he points to the Crucifix Icon as it sits atop the iconostasis). I was humbled by a child. When of the few times I smile as I process around the church.
[quote author=ilovesaintmark link=topic=7964.msg103068#msg103068 date=1242185616]
How about the little kid at our church, who thought that abouna was trying to hit his father, bopped abouna. The priest was doing the tapping/crossing blessing with the water at the end of the liturgy for the servants of the altar and it was misinterpreted by the little kid, so he wanted to protect and defend his father.
LOL how cute!!! They're my favourite ones of all. Children are so simple, I wish we could be like them sometimes!
(sorry for posting in an old thread I just found most of these posts so lighthearted)
Abounda was sprinkling water on the girl's side, starting from the door towards the altar, and I noticed a girl (I guess too much was sprinkled on her) dodged it like it was burning her skin :D
I remember recently...
Abounda was sprinkling water on the girl's side, starting from the door towards the altar, and I noticed a girl (I guess too much was sprinkled on her) dodged it like it was burning her skin :D
I did this once, and since then Abouna has made it his mission to soak me at the end of EVERY liturgy!
Matthew
[quote author=sodr2 link=topic=7964.msg111751#msg111751 date=1268071983]
I remember recently...
Abounda was sprinkling water on the girl's side, starting from the door towards the altar, and I noticed a girl (I guess too much was sprinkled on her) dodged it like it was burning her skin :D
I did this once, and since then Abouna has made it his mission to soak me at the end of EVERY liturgy!
Matthew
lol, Abouna always somehow targets only me when I have my hair straightened! (Water causes a dramatic boofiness reaction with my hair). ;D
guess what I did during the liturgy lol
During Passion Weak, we told one of the church kids to read.
The kid stood by the Mangaleya, & instead of saying "From Saint Samuel the Confessor May his blessing be with us Amen", he said "From St Samuel the Professor may his blessing be with all amen".
I never heard so much laughter from our priest & congregation as much as this day. We were cracking up for ages after what this kid said.
One day I was at Church and a deacon asked me if I could read the Epistle. I said "OH no... not saint Paul.. its too confusing. He's so philosophical. 'I am, we are, therefore, I am' .
I think actually, it was the Acts or something to do with Saint Paul.
I get lost in most of his books. Anyway, the man insisted (because I speak good English), and I went ahead to read.
Saint Paul, in the Epistle, was talking to someone called Festus. The letter started as follows:
"O Great Festus!".
As I was reading, I felt, or thought I heard myself say "O Great Fetus"
I paused for a moment. I looked at everyone, and everyone looked OK. No one laughed.. and I thought to myself "OK.. cool, i didnt say anything wrong".
As I was reading, this voice in my head just screamed at me saying "FETUS! FETUS! FETUS!! FETUS"
The voices got louder and louder..my reading pace slowed down as I tried to subconsiously hide this voice. I couldnt..it was amazing. Like someone was talking to me to me in my head, and he (or SHE!) didnt want to be ignored.
My reading pace about half way through was getting to the point of kiddy style reading.. and I was trying, with all my might not to let a smirk or a hint of a giggle appear on my face.
As I was reading, and saying his name, i had to make the physical effort to accentuate Festus's name. I kept on saying "FeSStuss .. FesssSSSStuss". I really over-pronounced the middle "S" in his name so much, i was beginning to feel stupid just doing that.
It was a hard Epistle to read.. but I did it.. until something weired happened.
Saint Paul, as he was talking to this FeStus guy, seemed a bit upset with FeStus. Then this voice said to me "At least my mom didn't call me FeStus!"
I brushed away that thought INSTANTLY. I didnt allow that sentence to breed in my head. I still managed to survive without laughing. I finally finished reading. I went down to the toilets INSTANTLY, and i broke out in tears of laughter like a madman.
I feel really bad about that. I really feel it wasn't me at all talking to myself. I felt.. I couldnt have been that funny whilst concentrating on reading the Bible?
Who was that in my head talking to me?
We did it for several weeks, and I guess someone brought it to Abouna's attention, because he mentioned in his English sermon how the church is already built towards the east.
Moral of the story: youth should not serve in sunday school until they are both spiritually, and logically ready.
Anba Aghathon bishop of Brazil related to us the following story:
As soon as he began his service in Brazil, there was only one egyptian deacon who knew all the hymns, rites...etc.
So once during the morning vesper, a Brazilian deacon (who was recently baptised Christian and ordained as a deacon) served inside the alter.
H.G was outside the alter praying the first part of the morning vesper (which is without the shoriya). As H.G. finished the prayer he signalled the (Brazilian) deacon to bring him the shoriya.
Habitually any deacon would hold the shoriya to abouna with one hand and hold the container containing the incense with the other hand.
Rather this deacon got the shoriya, put the incense on it HIMSELF and bought it to H.G
I started crying from laughter when i first heard this story.
Once abouna said eshlil and an old uncle responded saying irini pasi. Every living soul dropped dead in laughter.
I am 13 and once I was the only one deacon attending an asheya during the nayrouz. Abouna told me to lead. In my book it says that you have to say amoini or ten-ouosht THEN say esmo epi-eklom for the verses of the cymbals. Apparently, you should just say esmou... I had no idea. Abouna leaves the shoria, comes out in the khorus and says the entire verses of the cymbals for nayrouz instead of me. There was a big silence waiting for abouna to finish the procession with the shoria. Thank God, more deacons came for the doxologies.
Once an Arabic priest coming from egypt was praying the asheya. A little english speaking boy instead of saying Salou min agle el ingeel el mokadas, he said, salou min agle el kedees el mokadas. Everybody was laughing and abouna could bearely continue the vespers. His sermon was based entirely on that little boy.
Whenever, I think of more, I will post them,
Pray for me, God bless,
Cyril
A kid reading the Gospel on Good Friday read 'Pontius Plate' instead of Pontius Pilate.
In one of the Synaxarium readings (I can't remember which) the saint is 'overcome by sleep', but in this case the reader said: 'he was overcome by sheep'.
A liturgy book that is widely used in Sydney (many users here would know it - the small white/yellow one) asks us to 'Pray for holy Orthodox feathers.'
One hymn for our hermit fathers and mothers told us how they gave their lives to Christ by 'living in the dessert'. The image monks living of a gigantic bowl of ice cream was hard to avoid.
On the Powerpoint presentation we use as a guide to our liturgy, the hyperlink leading to the Liturgy of St. Gregory is titled 'Grogery' - which sounds very much like a place for storing alcohol.
My absolute FAVOURITES come from two VERY poorly translated books of the lives of Saints from Egypt. The first is a book called The Glory of the Coptic Church which has an entire chapter dedicated to Pope Kyrollos I - the Pill of Faith (instead of Pillar of Faith :D) I spent my whole childhood thinking the author meant that interceding to him was liking taking a pill which made your faith stronger.
The second is a little pamphlet about the life St. Samuel the Confessor, who was tortured and harassed by the Berbers, a tribe of nomads who lived in the Egyptian desert. However, this translator unfortunately used the word 'Barbers' instead, not once, but repeatedly. And thus the entire pamphlet describes the horrible things which a tribe of militant hairdressers inflicted upon the saint.
Language can be a very tricky thing :D Pray for me
A liturgy book that is widely used in Sydney (many users here would know it - the small white/yellow one) asks us to 'Pray for holy Orthodox feathers.'
Only St. Marks uses that book as I recall... lol
There's so many mistakes in the Pascha books.. and yes this time EVERY church in Sydney uses the same english book. LOL
lol my priest is newly ordained, and isn't quite used to being a priest yet! One time during the liturgy, he sang "tenoosht evol kha et-hee..." with us. Then the priest is supposed to say "eshleel", but he forgot he was the priest, so the church got quiet, and abouna looked at the deacons next to him in confusion then said "ah ana? malish naset ya nas. eshleel"
Naset ya nas haha. thats hilarious.
mary
apparently we shouldnt be doing that....
Once there was a baptism and some deacons took a cordless mic and went to the back of the church. Like always, you can't see anything past the fist row except tiny little heads. An uncle wanted to say something, I think regarding the communion (it was done). He took the mic and just started talking when you hear a loud voice saying "Epouro" and that uncle almost drops the mic on the floor in fear and tells us(in a loud voice, pretty sure everyone heard) il soat do ga minen... all the deacons in the khorus start laughing. We strugle to say epouro with the deacon leading but all you hear is laughter. We then go to say the name of the baptisee and all say a different name...
That was hilarious.
Another time, this guy was leading and just randomly snaps during communion and screams at the deacon beside him. Everyone starts laughing.
Another thing, a little off subject, how do you say lem nafsak in english... collect yourself. ;D :D LOL
If I think about anymore, I WILL post them...
Cyril
The second is a little pamphlet about the life St. Samuel the Confessor, who was tortured and harassed by the Berbers, a tribe of nomads who lived in the Egyptian desert. However, this translator unfortunately used the word 'Barbers' instead, not once, but repeatedly. And thus the entire pamphlet describes the horrible things which a tribe of militant hairdressers inflicted upon the saint.
That last sentence literally made me fall out of my chair.