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Issues with my "Best Friend"
So I have a Sweet 16 tomorrow and it is my "best friend's" party. i used 'best freind' very loosley. we used to be very good friends, to the point were people said we were most definitely getting married...until last April. We got into a fight that easily could have been prevented but she continued with it and took it too far. Since then, she has been ignoring all of texts and never says hi to me in person even after I tried to reconcile with her. I tried to reconcile with her so many times but she says ok and nothing happens-- she just wants to shut me up.
I am going to her Sweet 16 tomorrow and my whole family was invited. I feel like if my family was not invited, I would not have been invited. I feel like I do not belong there and that I am unwanted. Just yesterday, I went to say hi to her and she just looked at me and walked away. I have no idea what to do. I talked to my FOC and he said to just accept her as she is but the thing is I am trying to but she is the one on the other end who is not catching the rope I am throwing. I do not know what I did for it to come this far. I tried and tried and I do not know what to do anymore. Please help.
I am going to her Sweet 16 tomorrow and my whole family was invited. I feel like if my family was not invited, I would not have been invited. I feel like I do not belong there and that I am unwanted. Just yesterday, I went to say hi to her and she just looked at me and walked away. I have no idea what to do. I talked to my FOC and he said to just accept her as she is but the thing is I am trying to but she is the one on the other end who is not catching the rope I am throwing. I do not know what I did for it to come this far. I tried and tried and I do not know what to do anymore. Please help.
Comments
I had two similar situations. They hurt me a lot. You really can't do anything but apologize, pray about it, and if she remains the same way, you should try to let it go. You have done your part. My heart goes out to you, Rabena ma3ak.
i have tried to let go so many times and i even told her i am done with trying but we had such a great past together and it is so hard to let go.
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10463.msg127123#msg127123 date=1295152968]
I had two similar situations. They hurt me a lot. You really can't do anything but apologize, pray about it, and if she remains the same way, you should try to let it go. You have done your part. My heart goes out to you, Rabena ma3ak.
i have tried to let go so many times and i even told her i am done with trying but we had such a great past together and it is so hard to let go.
That is why we are taught not to pursue a relationship until we are ready for marriage. In the teenage years, people change very easily and relationships break as fast as they start. Pouring your heart into a girl at this age will only end up leaving you with a piece of your heart missing. It hurts but you need to move on. Save the rest of your heart for God and the woman that will actually count.
[quote author=copticuser20 link=topic=10463.msg127125#msg127125 date=1295153142]
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10463.msg127123#msg127123 date=1295152968]
I had two similar situations. They hurt me a lot. You really can't do anything but apologize, pray about it, and if she remains the same way, you should try to let it go. You have done your part. My heart goes out to you, Rabena ma3ak.
i have tried to let go so many times and i even told her i am done with trying but we had such a great past together and it is so hard to let go.
That is why we are taught not to pursue a relationship until we are ready for marriage. In the teenage years, people change very easily and relationships break as fast as they start. Pouring your heart into a girl at this age will only end up leaving you with a piece of your heart missing. It hurts but you need to move on. Save the rest of your heart for God and the woman that will actually count.
Amen, I am so glad I have my heart 100% but I am so sad I hurt so many girls in my High school, regardless to say they weren't Coptic and if I became their friends then my parents would kill me. Besides, at a young age like this people don't understand what a real relationship in marriage is. I'm so lucky that God gave me a gift, at such a young age, of Maturity in so many aspects, and this is one of them.
[quote author=copticuser20 link=topic=10463.msg127125#msg127125 date=1295153142]
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10463.msg127123#msg127123 date=1295152968]
I had two similar situations. They hurt me a lot. You really can't do anything but apologize, pray about it, and if she remains the same way, you should try to let it go. You have done your part. My heart goes out to you, Rabena ma3ak.
i have tried to let go so many times and i even told her i am done with trying but we had such a great past together and it is so hard to let go.
That is why we are taught not to pursue a relationship until we are ready for marriage. In the teenage years, people change very easily and relationships break as fast as they start. Pouring your heart into a girl at this age will only end up leaving you with a piece of your heart missing. It hurts but you need to move on. Save the rest of your heart for God and the woman that will actually count.
oh no no no. sorry i did not make this clear. we grew up with each other. we have a brother-sister relationship and nothing more. we were so close that people said we were going to get married but we did not want anything more than that.
today at the party, she refused to say hi to me, i tried to dance with her (yes i danced) and she gave me a dirty look and walked away. i do not know if there is any hope of regaining this dead friendship or just walk away from it.
[quote author=servant33 link=topic=10463.msg127182#msg127182 date=1295227573]
[quote author=copticuser20 link=topic=10463.msg127125#msg127125 date=1295153142]
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10463.msg127123#msg127123 date=1295152968]
I had two similar situations. They hurt me a lot. You really can't do anything but apologize, pray about it, and if she remains the same way, you should try to let it go. You have done your part. My heart goes out to you, Rabena ma3ak.
i have tried to let go so many times and i even told her i am done with trying but we had such a great past together and it is so hard to let go.
That is why we are taught not to pursue a relationship until we are ready for marriage. In the teenage years, people change very easily and relationships break as fast as they start. Pouring your heart into a girl at this age will only end up leaving you with a piece of your heart missing. It hurts but you need to move on. Save the rest of your heart for God and the woman that will actually count.
Amen, I am so glad I have my heart 100% but I am so sad I hurt so many girls in my High school, regardless to say they weren't Coptic and if I became their friends then my parents would kill me. Besides, at a young age like this people don't understand what a real relationship in marriage is. I'm so lucky that God gave me a gift, at such a young age, of Maturity in so many aspects, and this is one of them.
sorry but this is about me. you can share how great you are in your own thread :)
Considered writing her an email? Ask her if you are to blame for the relationship completely vanishing. Something simple...?
I really tried. I apologized for whatever It was(i still dont know what it is) and told her every memory we had and asked her if we could make up and start over again. She said ok. The nex day I saw her, nothing changed. She still refused to talk to me or act like my friend at all. That was when I started to lose hope for this friendship
So I have a Sweet 16 tomorrow and it is my "best friend's" party. i used 'best freind' very loosley. we used to be very good friends, to the point were people said we were most definitely getting married...until last April. We got into a fight that easily could have been prevented but she continued with it and took it too far. Since then, she has been ignoring all of texts and never says hi to me in person even after I tried to reconcile with her. I tried to reconcile with her so many times but she says ok and nothing happens-- she just wants to shut me up.
I am going to her Sweet 16 tomorrow and my whole family was invited. I feel like if my family was not invited, I would not have been invited. I feel like I do not belong there and that I am unwanted. Just yesterday, I went to say hi to her and she just looked at me and walked away. I have no idea what to do. I talked to my FOC and he said to just accept her as she is but the thing is I am trying to but she is the one on the other end who is not catching the rope I am throwing. I do not know what I did for it to come this far. I tried and tried and I do not know what to do anymore. Please help.
Don't go.
Christ doesn't force himself on us. Does He?
He knocks at the door, and waits.
Offering your friendship to someone is giving them sincerity, kindness, trust and being there for them. If they don't want it, don't force it on them. Its their loss. Trust me.
It doesn't matter. The advice is for life. Anyway, he can apply it for her 17th Birthday.
So I should just give up on her and move on? What if some miracle happens and she wants to be friends with me again? Should I accept or ignore and continue to move on?
The way I see it is this:
You care about her right? That's great. Leave it at that.
I don't like the idea that when she's "OK" she'll be your friend, and when she's "not OK" , she'll treat you like garbage.
You're not a toy.
Move on... focus on friends who do not treat u as if u are dispensable. life is too short to spent it with people who are careless with your feelings. The ONLY miracle you could expect to hear is this: the reason why she's being really rude towards you. Other than that... you have to come to terms that some people are not going to care about you.
i have tried to let go so many times and i even told her i am done with trying but we had such a great past together and it is so hard to let go.
dude shes not worth it, forget about it... ignoring people is just plain immature
What exactly did you do to upset her?
Are you thinking about marrying this girl???
Ignoring someone is rude...but if she cannot reconcile with you before marriage, she's gonna be a pain in the neck after marriage.
God's revealing this to you already.
Its not important if you had a good past full of jokes and fun. People's personalities show so much when there are disputes like this... how forgiving, peace loving someone is.
She obviously doesn't think too much about "your fun past" right now, does she big boy???
Are you thinking about marrying this girl???
nope not at all. we USED to be the closest friends in our church...to the point where we would be told daily (no exaggeration at all) that we were going to get married by everyone. we were practically brother and sister. we would go over each other's houses, we would have sleepovers in the summer if we stayed at each other's house late, we would study all the time together. she was aggressive and demanding and did act like a princess but i learned to get used to it. she was a great listener and unlike the rest of the egyptian population, she knew how to keep secrets so i could always tell her everything and not worry about anyone else knowing. and there was no fear of any sexual or romantic relationship because we had another guy in our "group" who she still is close friends with now. she was really the perfect friend and that is why i am having a hard time letting go.
[quote author=Zoxsasi link=topic=10463.msg127265#msg127265 date=1295306435]
What exactly did you do to upset her?
i have no idea and she is not telling me why. the other person in our group also tried to find out (we are still good friends) but all she told him was that i am annoying. i do not understand how annoyance destroys this strong of a friendship.
What I mean is to get over it and find true good friends and maintain your dignity and stop chasing her.
At the same time, when she comes to her senses and seeks reconciliation, try to have the heart to forgive her and make an effort to rebuild your friendship if she is willing.
You seem like a great person who does not deserve to be treated like this. Be the bigger person.
This is tough, but I say be humble, yet dignified.
What I mean is to get over it and find true good friends and maintain your dignity and stop chasing her.
At the same time, when she comes to her senses and seeks reconciliation, try to have the heart to forgive her and make an effort to rebuild your friendship if she is willing.
You seem like a great person who does not deserve to be treated like this. Be the bigger person.
but should i cut off all communications with her? should i not say hi to her when i walk by her in school or church even though I know she will say hi back? like our families are close and we have family gatherings (not as often now as before but still every once in a while). how am i supposed to act if every time i try to interact with her, its as if I am interacting with a wall?
If she's worth your friendship, she'll change her tune. If not, well...God gives and God takes away, right? Maybe it's a sign from God that the chapter of your life that includes her is over.
they trusted, and you delivered them.
To you they cried and were rescued;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
—Psalm 22:4-5
Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
—Psalm 32:10
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.
—Psalm 37:3-6
May God have mercy on you and all of our brethren who are going thru the same tribulations.
God bless, Pray for me as well,
Cyril
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10463.msg127293#msg127293 date=1295324444]
This is tough, but I say be humble, yet dignified.
What I mean is to get over it and find true good friends and maintain your dignity and stop chasing her.
At the same time, when she comes to her senses and seeks reconciliation, try to have the heart to forgive her and make an effort to rebuild your friendship if she is willing.
You seem like a great person who does not deserve to be treated like this. Be the bigger person.
but should i cut off all communications with her? should i not say hi to her when i walk by her in school or church even though I know she will say hi back? like our families are close and we have family gatherings (not as often now as before but still every once in a while). how am i supposed to act if every time i try to interact with her, its as if I am interacting with a wall?
Just be courteous and treat her as you would any other person.
She will most likely tell you that you have been smothering her, and that her parents told her to avoid you since things look too chummy in the church circles.
I have a feeling this will cover about 95% of the issue.
Being immature is fun. I do it at least 95% on this forum. The other 5% I'm nasty.
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I am kiding :P ;)
I say: go up to her, stick out your tongue, and go 'na na na na'
she would probably slap me....
[quote author=ilovesaintmark link=topic=10463.msg127411#msg127411 date=1295479833]
She will most likely tell you that you have been smothering her, and that her parents told her to avoid you since things look too chummy in the church circles.
actually, her parents are in love with me. i am really good friends with her mom (i know that sounds weird) but i always have long conversations with her mom and she asks me for advice and tells me everything that is going on with her life. her dad also likes me but i have not seen him for a while.
i really am not sure what it is that caused this but I am just going to go on with my life without her. Thanks guys for all of your advice and God bless you all. I shall keep you all updated!
actually, at the time, I felt like I was really alone...that was the time in my life that I started getting closer to God. I felt like I really had no one else. I gave up on mending our friendship, but since we still have to see each other, over the years that we've been in uni together, we've gotten much closer. its not like it used to be, but thats ok.
I advice is let go, even if its hard, focus on other things, and the situation will fix itself.
there are some great Bible verses in this thread; get busy with studying the Bible and praying and attending mass and listening to sermons.
make friends with some geeky guy at church that smells or that no-one likes, spend time with people who are not so dramatic, and maybe when this old friend chills out a bit more, you can have a go at being friends again. just don't rely on it! it's good to suffer for being good and for not gossiping; it builds your character. it's bad to retaliate and gossip in return.
chill, brother, God will give you peace, even though it's painful to loose a friend.