There is this girl that I have known since sixth grade. She was very nice, organized, got good grades,was VERY smart and looked like a girl. I will say what I mean by that.
But she was my friend..........right up until seventh grade. In the beginning of seventh grade she became addicted to what is known as (rather what I call it) the "obsessive bomb" : The Twilight Series.
Every single day she wore one of those silly twilight shirts. EVERY DAY. I don't remember one day when she did not wore a black T-Shirt that says across it either twilight, new moon, eclipse, Jacob, Bella......you get the idea.
She became a total obsessive freak over Twilight. In eighth grade though, she laid her eyes upon a different obsessive toy: Tokio Hotel.
Which is a band full of homosexual men. She started wear all of their shirts. She started covering her eyes with black makeup soon enough, she has been giving herself eraser burns, cuts, and she became total emo.
Since 7th grade I have never seen her in a different color (or shade as a matter of fact) other than black.
She even drinks alcohol and she is 14.
Now, on the other hand, there is this other girl that I have known and she was so mean and she bullied everyone and she did a lot of bad stuff throughout middle school. But now she is in high school like me in the IB (International Baccalaureate) Program and she is much more nicer, calmer and wiser.
Now the question is: what causes changes in people?
Is it because Jesus entered one's life, or peer presser a a mixture of things.
So does that mean that anyone can change easily?
How can a christian or any person avoid change to the worse but instead change for the good and keep it that way??
Comments
so your friend must realize that what she is doing is not good for her physically, spiritually, psychologically, socially, etc.... if this girl is coptic orthodox then i would suggest speaking to a priest who can be aware of the issue and help her sort out whats going on. but if she is not coptic orthodox or Christian even, then i would pray that God may open her eyes to see the damage she is doing to herself and the people around her. also try to talk to her using simple language and without attacking or telling her she is wrong, for example try to just ask her how she did on the last exam, etc... small talk basically which can possibly lead to a closer relationship down the road.
also if you could explain exactly why you stopped being friends it would be helpful for us to try to help you. just because the person changed doesnt mean we should leave them. if someone is sick then you dont just shun them and run away, you try to help them feel better.
and above all always pray.
God bless.
I just wanted to know about these questions:
Thanks though, and please pray for me.
Very cool screen name. I really don't think the answer is complicated, why people change for good and for bad. We live in a changing world, my friend. People change, all the time. Especially during teenage years. People can change from year to year to year… It stinks when we feel we're static but people are changing around us. But truth is, we're changing to! We just don't notice it. Change is usually a very slow process that isn't even noticed by the individual until the change has already occurred. People don't fully form their personalities until they're 30 years old anyway.
I wouldn't worry too much about your friend, who's into Twilight. Chances are, there were things happening in her life WAY before you even knew her, that brought her too this place. Cutting and bruising ones self is something a lot of young people go through. Especially when they hate themselves. They say it happens when they are so numb to the emotional pain, that they cut themselves to feel something. I think the Twilight movies suck, and are just about people trying to be something that they're not. Like that girl in the movie, Bella? She spends all her time trying to be a Vampire, instead of being herself.
Spend time with people who you feel comfortable around, and people who feel comfortable with you. You don't have to save anyone, people will do their thing anyway. But what you can do, is love yourself because God loves you, and when you do so, you can extend your love to people like your twilight friend. Always be kind and never view anyone as LOST, or too lost for redemption. Everyone has their journey's sometimes, and you don't know what brought her to where she is. Yeah, you'll see a lot of changes. Nice people becoming mean, mean people becoming nice. Hey you may even go from mean to nice to mean to nice… maybe in the same day!
Point is, being in junior high is rough, some say its the lowest pit of hell, but you'll get through it. Just surround yourself with loving good people, and keep your trust in God always.
1) Know yourself. Know who you are. Know your strengths and your weaknesses. Know where you are strong, and know where you fall short. You may be too young to know yourself just yet, but in time you will. You'll know it by trying and messing up and trying again and messing up… the Christian life isn't about being perfect, but it's about the process of becoming perfected. Big difference.
2) I guess going to point number one, is to keep trying. Know that you're never far from grace. I think the problem comes where somewhere along the way we believe we're too far gone. People might tell us we're too far gone. It's never the case. Grace is when you are invited to the sacraments in the state that you're in. You confess and say "this is what i've done", and it's simple as that. Scary as hell and uncomfortable but its in that process of being honest, you keep yourself
3) Don't say you'll never change. You will. We all do. Moving forward is the only way. Look at the great saints. Look at Abraham, the spiritual father of our people. You see how many times he messed up before he got it right? The big difference, he kept God in the midst, and God made him into a great father of a nation, and a father of a people that were God's chosen, and to all us believers by extension
Sorry for rambling, but these are my two cents.
That's a super cool screen name too ;)
Thanks a bunch for your advise, I know these are not challenging questions but I want to make sure that if somehow something were to get stirred in my life or something, I would at least have prepared. I learned alot from this. I wish there was a way to stop that horror...its just too sad. You are right, this makes sense. Is junior high the same thing as middle school? Looking at the saints' lives as examples how to deal with my every day life has helped me many times before in hard times. This is a good example to relate to.
I guess I should stop worrying and leave everything in God's hands, since he knows best for all of us.
These were very valuable words. Thank you March Madness!
Please pray for me.
CopticStrength