First of all, I want to say [glow=red,2,300]Glory be to God[/glow] in everything, I love Him so much, therefore, I don't want to sin ; I want to avoid every sin that I can.
With that said, something is bothering me at school, some of you might laugh at me, but really I don't mind or care if anyone does because I want to learn how to deal with this correctly.
At school, I have one class, actually three classes that I really really really wish I wasn't in, which are my electives. The reason is because of how provocative and immature and perverted the people are in my class.
When I say people, I mean including the teacher. And I will explain why.
Especially this one class - Spanish every single person in that class except two or three people other than me are not perverted, yes the teacher is perverted and guess what?! He is a guy teacher.
Like one time, the "teacher" showed us a Shakira video clip in class from youtube. Guess what was in that video clip? Bad dancing, bad words, some nudity(not much)but it was bad.
Now, literally they talk about **x in class. I was taught to avoid listening or hearing or joining in to a conversation that has to do with anything I know is bad.
I don't give anyone a chance to talk, touch, joke with me in a bad way, but despite that, I still hear the conversations and I have no intention listening to the devil speak around me.
I asked my mom what I should do she said to plug my ears with cotton....she was serious. Of course that is unreal because we all know that it does not work.
I really don't know what to do. I know that I should stand strong and not give in no matter what. I know I should pray. But I want to stay clean by the end of the day; not unclean.
Any advise?
Please remember me in your prayers.
Comments
No matter where you go this will come up. Its part of society(whether we want it to be or not) and unless you are going to be a nun/monk then I don't think this can be completely avoided. What you can do is stay strong in your beliefs and continue to pray for Gods help in a situation in which you didn't put yourself in by your own hands. Be the light to the world and just keep pushing through, the semester is close to being done so you won't have to deal with it much longer. Putting cotton balls or shut your ears off to the world is not practical. But for the most part it gets better. Not so much in high school but once you reach college it becomes less abrasive at times and once you get into the working world even less(depending on where you work obviously) but its a trend that fades off. But regardless of that you will always encounter people who maybe perverts or who curse or who are talking about sex or w/e the subject may be. It is part of our cross to carry in this society to deal with these things day in and day out. My two cents
God Bless
You remind me of myself. High school was tough for me because I didn't much about **x either ;) but I'm glad I didn't. A good friend told me, it's better to be innocent (aka ignorant lol) than know everything there is to know about sex.
The world is perverted; avoid what you can and don't think too much about the new stuff you learn.
It is always important to remember that teachers are just people too, and not everyone was raised with the same moral constitution that you have, or the same ideas of what is proper behavior in their job. It could be he is misguidedly trying to be the "cool" teacher by talking at his students' level. This is not an excuse for what he has done, but it is important to not condemn him for being genuinely ignorant of proper behavior.
I have also had this problem, and this is how I worked around it. I've trained myself to not concentrate, or let those bad things into my mind. I hear them and see them but they just go through one ear and out the other, while what I see is blurred in my mind, I don't get influenced from those bad things. Train yourself to do that, just ignore the bad things. You can't change them from happening, but you have to learn to ignore them, and Pray to God, whenever you hear or see bad things say a short prayer, God will save you.
No offense, but your advice isn't really practical. Everything I have learned (especially the really nasty stuff) is engraved in my memory... out of my will. You can't really tell your brain what to remember and what to forget, but you can stop yourself from thinking too much about a certain thing, and that's where our Lord's prayer comes in: "Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner" :)
Your last statement is correct: You can't change them from happening, but you have to learn to ignore them..
lots of times in life hard situations don't go away, and we need to just keep on praying and keep on trying to stay close to God. there were some good replies here too :)
i expect you are already praying and reading the Bible daily, so keep it up. take Holy Communion often and pray for these 'friends' and the teacher who affect you so that God will use you to affect them, and to show them His love which will help them far more than the dirty jokes.
if there are dirty jokes you don't understand, well done! i know often you can help understanding them, but even then, they will start to get boring and they won't affect you so much.
may God help you, and please also pray for me, a sinner.
Just in case someone doesn't know the words to this prayer, don't worry it is very simple to learn but very powerful in its use:
"My Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner."
God bless.
anywayss... try talking to the sane people in your class when your class goes off like that. if all fails, tell your principal how everyone is talking about things not related to spanish and that you aren't learning as much spanish as you should. that should work. buena suerte y estoy orando para ti (i am praying for you) pero necesitas orar para yo tambien (but you need to pray for me also). spanish is great :)
my suggestion would be to pray and ask God to keep you pure so that your mind will not be tainted by the evil in the world.
God Bless!
my is advice is that it would be best to memorize psalms (if you have not already) and in any difficult situation you can recite them this will help you spiritually and draw you away from the situation. i went through this problem (not with my teachers but my peers) from middle school until recently starting college admittedly i was not as strong as you, God has surely blessed you in this but mostly my method was to ignore what was being said eventually this stopped working in honesty because of my experience i believe that is an unrealistic method, which is why i suggest that you use the time in these classes or situations of spiritual benefit by praying or trying to guide others or maybe bring a spiritual book with you (maybe H.H. Pope Shenouda's The Release of The Spirit, Life of Hope ...) and read it when the class begins going off track in this way (as long as you don't get in trouble for it)
-God be with you
Yea like others said, be a light. And also know these kids are just talking about what's always on their minds. It's immaturity. You don't have to be a dud though, learn to be funny and friendly without having to be dirty. I remember back in high school, one of my friends was very popular, mainly cuz he was the star football player, but he always carried himself with confidence, but never engaged in that kind of talk, ever. Everyone's insecure in high school. Be friendly and love your classmates and see the good in them, cuz it's there. If you can see the good in them, and you can be yourself, you'd most likely bring that good out of them.
Maybe you can give them balls of cotton to plug their mouths.
esp. the cotton balls in the mouths! ;)
I have the same problem right now :(.
I used to have this problem in high school as well. What I did was discuss the issues with my classmates. I later realized that if they were speaking about perverted things and than noticed I was around the conversation would shift. They would no longer curse or talk about sex, etc. You should question them. Ask them why they feel it is necessary to talk about sex? Why they show no respect to women? Most people try not to offend others so they will change their behavior around you. And if you can be the light that leads them to change their behavior completely, your reward will truly be great.
The problem is that when people are so blind that they do this stuff they don't care what you think because "it's their life". People will actually start making fun of you for it. The best solution is to ask your teacher if you can be moved to another side of the class. The teacher can't say no
[quote author=Unworthy1 link=topic=11201.msg135544#msg135544 date=1302233725]
I used to have this problem in high school as well. What I did was discuss the issues with my classmates. I later realized that if they were speaking about perverted things and than noticed I was around the conversation would shift. They would no longer curse or talk about sex, etc. You should question them. Ask them why they feel it is necessary to talk about sex? Why they show no respect to women? Most people try not to offend others so they will change their behavior around you. And if you can be the light that leads them to change their behavior completely, your reward will truly be great.
The problem is that when people are so blind that they do this stuff they don't care what you think because "it's their life". People will actually start making fun of you for it. The best solution is to ask your teacher if you can be moved to another side of the class. The teacher can't say no
I disagree, geomike.
“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house." -Matthew 5:14-15
If they make fun of you, then they make fun of you.
Right before the passage quoted above Christ says:
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
-Matthew 5:10-12
Unworthy1,
I have the same problem right now :(.
Although I hope the situation gets better, I am glad that this is a problem for you. For most people they are not bothered by this. It goes to show how sensitive you are to evil.
I heard stories of the Blessed Bishop Karas that when he was in university with friends he was very sensitive in the same way you and CopticStrength are. He would not participate in senseless humor and everyone knew it and changed their attitudes.
It is part of living the heavenly life on earth.
May Christ strengthen you.
Hello CopticStrength,
Firstly, if you feel your teacher is perverted. Then the first thing to do is not make him your enemy. If you do, then you shouldn't do anything about his behaviour. Because you have to love your enemies and show it.
I say the Lord's prayer and sometimes the Gospel for the third hour in the Agpia; "But the helper, the Holy Spirit, .... up to, Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Secondly, if you are reasonably ok with him, then I think you should take action. The things that he talks about have to be relevant to what the teacher is teaching. His authority is to teach.
I would go above him and let that person know your unhappy with the situation.
I pray to our Lord Jesus Christ for your peace CopticStrength.
[quote author=geomike link=topic=11201.msg135710#msg135710 date=1302371707]
[quote author=Unworthy1 link=topic=11201.msg135544#msg135544 date=1302233725]
I used to have this problem in high school as well. What I did was discuss the issues with my classmates. I later realized that if they were speaking about perverted things and than noticed I was around the conversation would shift. They would no longer curse or talk about sex, etc. You should question them. Ask them why they feel it is necessary to talk about sex? Why they show no respect to women? Most people try not to offend others so they will change their behavior around you. And if you can be the light that leads them to change their behavior completely, your reward will truly be great.
The problem is that when people are so blind that they do this stuff they don't care what you think because "it's their life". People will actually start making fun of you for it. The best solution is to ask your teacher if you can be moved to another side of the class. The teacher can't say no
I disagree, geomike.
“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house." -Matthew 5:14-15
If they make fun of you, then they make fun of you.
Right before the passage quoted above Christ says:
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
-Matthew 5:10-12
Go tell them then, there will be no effect. They will continue to do it. I have done it, and the reaction I got was even more cussing. I am talking from experience, but I see what you are saying, we should always let people know.
While it may be hard to digest, I guarantee you that anything you suffer socially in high school does not matter at all in the grand scheme of life (I'm sure yo know that, though, since you are a good Christian person). However, what you do now can have a profound effect on someone else's life that will matter very much for them. So it is good to use every opportunity you can to make a positive impact in your class, even if it doesn't seem successful at the time. You never know what God may have in store for others to whom you are the ambassador of the faith.
it was a big shock to meet up with 2 of my old school 'friends' who used to ridicule me, after not seeing them for 13 years, to find they actually respected me and looked up to me!
I am sure that many other people have the exact same problem so thank you for taking the time to answer......
But thank you for your prayers and your advises.
-CopticStrength
+God Bless+ :)
9 I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.
St Paul states here that we will definitely come into contact with 'sexually immoral' people, or people living in sin. He also said we would have to go out of the world in order to stay away from such people! So basically, it is a part of life that we have to learn to live with whilst maintaining purity.
The advice everyone said above was great! You should definitely take it on board. I will just add one thing that Fr. Antonios Kaldas mentioned once and it kind of stuck with me. He was talking to a group of young people, and he said to them that we can watch whatever we want on TV, as long as we have a filter on our eyes and on our ears. We take in and absorb anything useful/ not harmful, and anything that we know to be bad, eg swearing, bad images, etc. cannot pass through this filter (all in prayer and supplication of course!). I suppose that applies quite comfortably here!
Please keep me in your prayers.