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Wavering in faith

anba bolaanba bola
edited April 2011 in Faith Issues
I told myself at the beginning of Holy Week that I wouldn't post on tasbeha.org, but it seems that I'm going to have to. Lately my faith in God has been wavering and I think that most people can tell this from my posts. I do not really enjoy prayer or reading of the Bible anymore and I just force myself to do them everyday. I have had less control over myself and have been falling into hideous sins, which I could not fathom doing before. I don't really know the solution to this, especially because I hate creating emotions and then saying they come from God.

I live very far from the nearest church and so am unable to attend Pascha (besides Good Friday) which only makes matters worse. I can't really find anyone around to help me in my spiritual life on a daily basis, and I only get to sit down with my FoC once a month. I have tried reading the Bible with my sister on a daily basis, but after 2 times she started refusing to read the Bible with me anymore. It is not quite that I don't believe in God, I still have the intellectual belief in him, but the spiritual belief in him is lacking.

Any advice would be helpful.  

Comments

  • MozesMozes
    Sorry to hear that! I hope you find the solution you are seeking with God's mercy and grace.On the Pascha services, do not forget to check the live streams.They are better than nothing at all.Those who live in the eastcoast can benefit from the time differences and follow the west coast services at a later time.
    May God guide you back to Him.
  • George_Mina_Awad
    Find any other way to get in contact with your foc...even if you can't sit down with him, communicating through texting or phone calls is much better than nothing.
    You said you can still attend on Good Friday, correct? Make sure you do not let yourself get distracted at any point during the prayers; keep reminding yourself that you must try to get the most out of being there.

    You are in my prayers.
  • lovelyday
    I have been in a spiritual drought my whole life so do not feel like you are alone. Do not feel too bad about not being able to go to chruch because God is everywhere and you could build that relationship in so many other ways. I do not think God would be upset if you did volunteer work instead of going to Church, atleast you are helping others and not just focusing on your self.
    I hear church is good for your connection with God, but I think instead of spending 5 days a week at church time better spent would be helping others or doing something positive for the community. Everyone has a different relationship with God, so do not feel pressured to fit into a mold. I am not trying to say to avoid church, but to much time spent at church while you can help others in that time is time wasted.
    It is holy week and this week is about suffering, so try to fast till 3 or 6 and do all the prayers you feel you can. You can have a spiritual life outside the church if it hard for you to get there. You say you have the intellectual side part down so focus on "God is everywhere" and "he will judge you on your acts". Good luck with your journey.
    Before anyone attacks my post please ask me to clarify anything that may be misinterpreted as I do not express my self to well on paper.
  • SmirserSmirser
    Dear friend!
    Maybe someone know about [IOSIF MUNOS] he travveled around  with the icon from the SAINt AFHON.
    Is he modern Saint?
  • imikhailimikhail
    Satan will not cease to have fall in despair by having us feel that we are alone, weak, little in our own eyes.

    Remember Israel when the people said how can we fight such might nations. It is not us that we are fighting it is God Who is dwelling in us.

    You have to always remember that the Lord is in you fighting through you and for you. When you fall in sin, rise again and pray:"Have mercy on me O Lord". Have an icon of the crucifixion in your room and look at it before you to bed and pray a psalm that you like.

    If you fall in sin go before the icon and meditate on his love and ask His forgiveness. None of us are strong. We all sin day in and day out. But He is merciful and wants us fight and keep in fighting.

    If you mention His name and cross yourself, Satan will flee from you. Before you start your day pray that the Lord may preseve you throughout the day without sin. Take 15 minutes during your day to pray the 6th or the 9th hour in the ajpeya and  reflect on the hour of Jesus' death and remember that he trampled Satan under your feet.

    Keep the prayer of Jesus in your head and always have the name of Jesus on your lips. Satan will eventually leave you.

    Be strong and of good courage the Lord will bless you and will protect you.
  • mabsootamabsoota
    yes, i agree with the above post, may God have mercy.
    seek and you will find, care for other people, but never let this get in the way of your personal relationship with God. you can share more with others when you have received from God.
    tell God honestly about your anger, frustration or whatever else is in your head.
    ask His help to forgive those who hurt you and turn away from the things you do but don't want to do
    (block web sites, delete numbers of certain 'friends' who turn you away from God etc, take practical steps to make a change).
    someone once on this site said they had an icon of the virgin saint mary above their computer, so they were too embarrassed to go to any bad web sites, i think it's a great idea!
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