Hi Everyone,
I’m very sorry if I opened a subject that I shouldn’t have mentioned in this forum, but I really need help with something.
I’m very close to getting married, & I was wondering if you know where I can find Christian Coptic Orthodox materials (i.e. sermons, books, videos) that talk explicitly about the physical relationship between husband & wife. I.e. things to be aware of when practicing the physical relationship for the first time, any precautions etc. If you know any, please let me know because it will be of a great help. By the way, my father of confession gave me a permission to listen & read Christian Coptic Orthodox Materials regarding these matters.
Many thanks, & sorry again if I have offended anyone by this post.
Comments
Hi Everyone,
I’m very sorry if I opened a subject that I shouldn’t have mentioned in this forum, but I really need help with something.
I’m very close to getting married, & I was wondering if you know where I can find Christian Coptic Orthodox materials (i.e. sermons, books, videos) that talk explicitly about the physical relationship between husband & wife. I.e. things to be aware of when practicing the physical relationship for the first time, any precautions etc. If you know any, please let me know because it will be of a great help. By the way, my father of confession gave me a permission to listen & read Christian Coptic Orthodox Materials regarding these matters.
Many thanks, & sorry again if I have offended anyone by this post.
Actually, there's quite a few topics out there.
Search for Dr. Nabil Baky - he is a Coptic Orthodox Church councellor who talks about the things u should do and not do within marriage.
I personally agree with some things he mentions, but not with everything. But there's loads of materials out there.
Good luck!
What do you mean, you need help "getting it on" basically?
Yes, that is what he needs help in.
To OP: I suggest you just buy a book and read it, there are many out there, I don't think there is any religious way to do it, I wouldn't expect an Orthodox book on that subject. Just be careful with what you do, remember you are both orthodox and there are restrictions that you should know, but Dr. Nabil Baky should take care of it, so read.
Don't worry about offending us with your question. If you were confused about something, then someone else who is not verbal is also confused.
They have plenty of sermons on any topic. Click on i think Love, marriage, & family life.
its all Coptic speakers, mostly priests.
Hope this will in some way help!
God bless your relationship
Personally, I prefer food over bumping uglies, after a time it becomes tedious and tiresome.
If you want to be well prepared make sure you have a cigarette or a nice meal waiting for you afterwards. There really is not much too it, kind of like basketball, just get it in and thats pretty much it, just remember there is only ONE goal that is acceptable to score in.
Personally, I prefer food over bumping uglies, after a time it becomes tedious and tiresome.
It's not acceptable by the Coptic Orthodox Church to have a cigarette.. unless you said that as a joke Ioannes?
As for the rest of the quote, please be careful to what is said.. we should edify eachother.. Those words are directed at me first so please accept them as gesture of 'looking out for eachother'.
[quote author=Ioannes link=topic=11520.msg138821#msg138821 date=1306909610]
If you want to be well prepared make sure you have a cigarette or a nice meal waiting for you afterwards. There really is not much too it, kind of like basketball, just get it in and thats pretty much it, just remember there is only ONE goal that is acceptable to score in.
Personally, I prefer food over bumping uglies, after a time it becomes tedious and tiresome.
It's not acceptable by the Coptic Orthodox to have a cigarette.. unless you said that as a joke Ioannes?
As for the rest of the quote, teenagers are most probably reading this, please be careful on what is said.. we should edify eachother, not make eachother stumble. Those words are directed at me first so please accept them as gesture of 'looking out for eachother'.
Ioannes is smart.
He has raised the main issue in fact, and he's raised it in a subtle way.
If indeed you DO listen to Dr. Nabil Baky, you will see what Ioannes is talking about.
There's no easy way to tell this to you, but sexual relations, according to Dr. Baky, is not even like basketball, its more like open heart surgery. Your options are limited, and its performed to save humanity, and being creative is not an option.
Of course many many people disagree with him also. I love the spiritual aspect he teaches on the relationship, and the emotional / psychological side. I find him brilliant.
On the sexual intimate side of marriage, I think he has overstepped the mark between what the Church can involve herself with and what it cannot.
Yes smoking is wrong, but which is worse, our horrible fattening junk food full of dangerous chemicals, vaccines full of very toxic and deadly chemicals, or a friggen cigarette with chemicals? Come on lol.
There is nothing wrong with pleasure between two married people. There are obvious boundaries, we do not need to speak them aloud. If sexual pleasure between a married couple is wrong, then why does it feel good? It is fine as long it is kept within the context of a Christian married life, period. It is not that difficult.
Yes smoking is wrong, but which is worse, our horrible fattening junk food full of dangerous chemicals, vaccines full of very toxic and deadly chemicals, or a friggen cigarette with chemicals? Come on lol.
I'm a children and I read the posts, you know. There are many child out there, be careful.
Yes smoking is wrong, but which is worse, our horrible fattening junk food full of dangerous chemicals, vaccines full of very toxic and deadly chemicals, or a friggen cigarette with chemicals? Come on lol.
Wrong is wrong. Sin is sin. The degree of sinfullness doesn't make a sin justifiable. Just because cigarettes maybe safer compared to other chemicals doesn't make smoking right or justifiable. Cigaretts are dangerous and smoking is a sin. It's scientifically, psychological and spiritually proven to be destructive. Junk food is bad but one can't say, based on science, that junk food contains dangerous chemicals. As a health professional, I can tell you that vaccines are full of chemicals, but I won't consider these chemicals toxic of deadly (at least any more toxic or deadly than vitamins, sugar or water). Regardless of how we interpret the deterimental effects of certain foods or medication, it doesn't justify smoking or any sin.
Besides, Christ4000 started this thread to ask about the Christian understanding of the physiological aspect of martial sex. It has nothing to do with smoking. I don't think his question was answered.
Christ4000, I can tell you that all pre-marital engaged couples fear the physiological "side-effects" of sex. My suggestion is not to worry about how you or your future wife will feel or be hurt or bleed too much. People have unfounded pre-conceived misunderstandings about sex. This is expected in the Egyptian culture that avoids sex education and even fears talking about sex. I think you should spend your energy and effort praying and enjoying the beauty of Christian marriage and sex, rather than fear what might happen to your future wife.
God bless your marriage from the first day until eternity.
God's eternal outline for spousal order in holy marriage is all based upon the initial provisions of His patriarchal gender and family codes in the Holy Bible. It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a HELPER fit for him. Gen.2:18. and; You desire to rule your husband, but he is to rule over you. Gen.3:16b. The only Scriptural exception is made, by concession, by St. Paul; The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control. 1Cor.7:3-6.
You have done well to seek to provide for the comfort and enjoyment of your wife during your honeymoon. I'm sure she is similarly concerned for you. I think the discussion of the details you are seeking could be too sexually sensitive, explicit and tempting to be published in any Orthodox document. For the last 30 years, I have tried to read and study every available Orthodox English publication concerning Christian family and gender issues. I don't recall ever having seen, or heard any discussion of sexual details of the nature you require. Because of the lifelong shared nature of these sexual issues between you and your wife, I believe you should begin discussing and sharing relevant objective thoughts, publications and media as soon as possible, before your marriage, so that you can get off to a shared, reasonably open, informed beginning of your married life. If your marriage is very soon, I believe you should begin studying and discussing, together, the sexual aspects of your marriage. You might want to begin by privately reviewing, together, and choosing a relevant marriage manual/guide at a library or bookstore. Of course you should always seek guidance in this sensitive area from your FOC.
I will send you by PM, a resource which I believe walks a reasonably appropriate line regarding the main issue you are concerned about. If you have any doubts, check with abuna. If my suggestions seem inappropriate, please let me know any objections, so I won't repeat the same errors.
irishpilgrim