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dreading prayer..
Sometimes, when its time for me to pray ( especially at night) I dread it and just want to sleep or in the morning when its time to pray I just want to do other things and I'm thinking why?? because once I'm done praying I feel a great sense of comfort and grace. I will not go a day without praying every morning because my day is not right when I don't and I feel that asking God's guidance and praying about issues in my life and thanking Him for what He has done helps my whole day!....but still I feel a sense of (dread?) when I have to go pray.
Its just like when you're little and you have to wash, you don't want to go but once you go you feel so much better and it wasn't bad at all.
I wonder when I'll stop feeling like this, its been a few years. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you get over it? Any advice?
Its just like when you're little and you have to wash, you don't want to go but once you go you feel so much better and it wasn't bad at all.
I wonder when I'll stop feeling like this, its been a few years. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you get over it? Any advice?
Comments
Even if you don't recognize that this is an inherently bad situation (without any further explanation needed), we can notice the effect of this way of living, which is cumulatively degrading to your soul and your life. It is almost like Newton's laws of motion: A body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest. If you stay away from prayer, you will tend to stay away from prayer (and tend to dread it, as you've put it). If you pray, you will tend to continue to pray (and come to see it as essential to life).
So why is one situation better than the other? Well, you are a Christian, so this should be obvious... :) But I think it comes down to how you view prayer. If you dread it when you HAVEN'T done it, do you dread coming back to it out of shame? Do you dread it because the burden of the guilt is too much? Well then, how do you expect to get rid of that burden without it? You know you can't! That's why you said it feels so much better after you do it, even if you are dreading it! :)
You probably also dread going to the doctor (most people do), even though you know you'll feel much better afterward, because the doctor is the place you go to get treated for your human ailments. Well, God is our holy physician, able and willing not just to heal our bodies, but also uniquely able and willing to heal and cleanse our souls. "Uniquely" as in God is the only one who can do that. Do you dread prayer because, like going to the human doctor, there may be some pain involved in the process of healing?
I don't know what to say to that except I do too. But there are things much worse than the temporary pain and tears of repentance, and what's more that pain and those tears are cleansing. As they help to bring you back to God, can they not be seen as a gift? Maybe even miraculous? I don't know about you, but I don't dread receiving gifts from God, even when I have to go through a lot in the process.
All the saints of heaven rejoice at the repentance of a single pitiful sinner. Think about that. You dread, but they all rejoice. Yet another way we should strive to be like them! :)
I think it would help if we try not to let prayer turn into a routine. When going to prayer, think of the Lord's love towards you and how great He is. Maybe this would help.
I'm not even sure if this advice works lol, so I'm following this topic, too.
Don't expect to float in the air when you pray and stay persistent. You will be rewarded. For in the same way the kid who drinks his milk, eats his fruits and vegetables, and exercises daily grows big and strong, so will you if you do the spiritual things daily. You will not see the growth over-night but after several years you will be a different person.
"Someone who is occupied with some task and continues with it at the hour of prayer is being fooled by the demons, for these thieves aim to steal one hour after the another from us." + St John Climacus +
"Prayer is by nature a dialog & a union of man with God. Its effect is to hold the world together. It achieves a reconciliation with God. + St John Climacus +
"In speaking of prayer I draw your attention above all to the means of raising prayer to the level to which it belongs. It might seem strange to you that, since we are speaking of unseen warfare, and you wish to know in what way prayer can help in it, all you have heard of was how to make prayer real prayer. Do not be surprised, for prayer can become a victorious weapon in unseen warfare only when it becomes real, that is, when it takes root in the heart and begins to act there unceasingly. From that moment it becomes an impenetrable, unconquerable and insuperable barrier, protecting the soul from the arrows of the enemy, the passionate assaults of the flesh, and the enticements of th world with its prelest. Its very presence in the heart cuts off the unseen warfare. This is why you were advised to make haste and graft the action of prayer onto your heart, and to see that it should remain in ceaseless movement. For this is the same as to say: do this and you will conquer, even without struggle.
And indeed this is how it actually happens. But until your prayer reaches such power, enemies will give you no peace and you will have no moment of respite from war, or threat of war. Does prayer help at this stage? Assuredly: and more so than any other weapon of spiritual warfare. It always attracts Divine help, and God's power repulses the enemies, so long as it is practiced with zeal and with surrender to God's will. Its place is at the very forefront of resistance to enemy attacks. This is how matters go. When, like a watchful sentry, attention sounds the alarm about the approaching enemy, and enemy arrows begin to be felt, that is, either a passionate thought or stirrings of passion appear within, the spirit, aflame with zeal for salvation, recognizes it to be the evil doing of the enemy, and, by straining its powers to the utmost, mercilessly repulses it from the heart, not letting it penetrate within. At the same moment, almost as one and the same inner action, it ascends to God in prayer, calling for His help. Help comes, enemies are dispersed, and the battle subsides.
St. John Kolov describes this exactly, saying of himself: "I am like a man sitting under a large tree, who sees a multitude of beasts and snakes advancing towards him. He cannot stand up to them, so he climbs the tree and is safe. It is the same with me: I sit in my cell and see evil thoughts rise up against me; since I am not strong enough to resist them, I run to God by means of prayer, and so save myself from the enemy" (True Sayings, par. 11).
St. Hesychius writes on the same lines in his chapters on prayer and sobriety: "You should look within with a keen and intense look of the mind, so as to perceive those who enter, and when you perceive them, you should at once crush the head of the snake by resistance; and along with this call on Christ with groaning. And then you will gain the experience of unseen Divine intercession" (par. 22).
And: "Every time it happens that wicked thoughts multiply in us, let us throw among them the invocation of our Lord Jesus Christ; and we shall at once see them dispersed like smoke in the air, as experience teaches" (par. 98).
Again: "Let us conduct this mental war in the following order. The first thing is attention; then when we notice a wicked thought draw near, let us wrathfully hurl a heartfelt curse at it. The third thing is to turn the heart to the invocation of Jesus Christ and pray Him to disperse forthwith this phantom of the demons, lest the mind runs after this fantasy like a child attracted by a skillful juggler" (par. 105).
And: "Opposition usually bars the further progress of thoughts, and invocation of the name of Jesus Christ banishes them from the heart. As soon as suggestion is formed in the soul by an image of some physical object, such a man who has wronged us, or a beautiful woman, or silver and gold, or when thoughts of all these things come to us, it immediately becomes clear that these fantasies were brought to our heart by the spirits of ill-will, lust and avarice. If our mind is experienced, trained and accustomed to protect itself from suggestions and to see clearly, as by the light of day, the seductive fantasies and beguilements of the demons, then by resistance, contradiction and prayer to Jesus Christ, it immediately and easily repels the red hot arrows of the devil. It does not allow passionate fantasies to entice away our thoughts, and forbids our thoughts to attach themselves to the suggested or to fraternize and allow it to multiply or to identify with it, for evil deeds follow upon all this as inevitably as night follows day" + St. Theophan the Recluse +
If you desire to seek success in the work of prayer, adapt all else to this, lest you destroy with one hand what the other builds.
(1) Keep your body strictly disciplined in food, sleep and rest. Do not give it anything simply because it wants it; as the Apostle says: "Make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof" (Rom. 13:14). Give no respite to the flesh.
(2) Reduce your external contacts to the most inevitable. This is for the period of your training in prayer. Later, when prayer begins to set in you, it will itself indicate what can be added without harming it. Especially guard your senses, above all, eyes and ears; also tie your tongue. Without this guarding, you will not make a single step forward in the work of prayer. As a candle cannot burn in wind and rain, so the flame of prayer cannot be lit in a flood of impressions from outside.
(3) Use all the time left from prayer in reading and meditation. For reading, choose mainly such books as deal with prayer and generally with inner spiritual life. Meditate exclusively on God and on divine matters, and above all on the incarnated dispensation for our salvation, chiefly on the passion and death of our Lord and Savior. Doing this you will always be immersed in the sea of divine light. In addition, go to church, whenever you have the possibility to do so. Merely to be present in church will envelop you in a cloud of prayer. What then will you receive if you stand throughout the service in a true state of prayer?
(4) Know that it is impossible to make progress in prayer without general progress in Christian life. It is absolutely necessary that no sin, not purified by repentance, should burden the soul. If during your work on prayer you do something, which troubles your conscience, hasten to purify yourself by repentance, so that you can look up to the Lord boldly. Keep humble contrition constantly in your heart. Moreover, neglect no opportunity for doing some good, or for manifesting some good disposition, above all humility, obedience and cutting off your own will. It goes without saying that zeal for salvation must always be burning and fill the whole soul; in all things, great or small, it must be the main impelling force, together with fear of God and unshaken trust.
(5) Thus established, labor in the work of prayer, praying now with set prayers, now with your own, now with short appeals to the Lord, now with the Jesus Prayer, omitting nothing which can be of help in this work. And you will receive what you seek. I remind you of the words of St. Macarius of Egypt: God will see your work of prayer and that you sincerely wish to succeed in prayer -- and He will give you prayer. For you must know that, although prayer done and achieved with one's own efforts is pleasing to God, yet that real prayer, which comes to dwell in the heart and becomes constant, is the gift of God, an act of Divine grace. Therefore, in your prayer for all other things, do not forget to pray too about prayer.
(6) I shall repeat to you what I heard from a God-loving man. "I was not leading a very good life," he said, "but God had mercy on me and sent me the spirit of repentance. This was during preparation for communion. I was trying hard to plant in myself a firm resolve to mend my ways, and especially before confession I prayed for a long time before the Icon of the Mother of God, begging Her to obtain this resolve for me. Then, during confession, I candidly related everything. My spiritual father said nothing; but while he was reciting the prayer of absolution over my head, a small sweet flame was lit in my heart. The sensation was like swallowing some delectable food. This little flame remained in the heart, and I felt as though someone was gripping my heart. From that time I prayed continuously, and kept my attention there, where this sensation was, my only care to preserve it. And God helped me. I had not heard about the Jesus Prayer, and when I did hear of it, I saw that what was withing me was precisely that which is sought by this prayer." I mention this story to make you understand what the work of prayer seeks and what are the signs that it is received.
(7) I shall also add the following words of St. Gregory of Sinai: "Grace abides in us from the time of our holy baptism; but, through our inattention, vanity and the wrong life we lead it is stifled, or buried. When a man resolves to lead a righteous life and is zealous for salvation, the fruit of his whole labor is, therefore, the restoration in force of this gift of grace. It comes to pass in a two-fold manner: first, this gift becomes revealed through many labors in following the commandments, this gift becomes more radiant and brilliant. Secondly, it manifests and reveals itself through constant invocation of the Lord Jesus in prayer. The first method is powerful, but the second is more so, so that even the first method gains power through it. Thus, if we sincerely wish to open the seed of grace concealed in us, let us hasten to train ourselves in this latter exercise of the heart, and let us have only this work of prayer in our heart, without forms, without images, till it warms our heart and makes it burn with ineffable love of the Lord." + St Theophan the Recluse +
Aids to Success in Gaining the Habit of Prayer
If you desire to seek success in the work of prayer, adapt all else to this, lest you destroy with one hand what the other builds.
(1) Keep your body strictly disciplined in food, sleep and rest. Do not give it anything simply because it wants it; as the Apostle says: "Make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof" (Rom. 13:14). Give no respite to the flesh.
(2) Reduce your external contacts to the most inevitable. This is for the period of your training in prayer. Later, when prayer begins to set in you, it will itself indicate what can be added without harming it. Especially guard your senses, above all, eyes and ears; also tie your tongue. Without this guarding, you will not make a single step forward in the work of prayer. As a candle cannot burn in wind and rain, so the flame of prayer cannot be lit in a flood of impressions from outside.
(3) Use all the time left from prayer in reading and meditation. For reading, choose mainly such books as deal with prayer and generally with inner spiritual life. Meditate exclusively on God and on divine matters, and above all on the incarnated dispensation for our salvation, chiefly on the passion and death of our Lord and Savior. Doing this you will always be immersed in the sea of divine light. In addition, go to church, whenever you have the possibility to do so. Merely to be present in church will envelop you in a cloud of prayer. What then will you receive if you stand throughout the service in a true state of prayer?
(4) Know that it is impossible to make progress in prayer without general progress in Christian life. It is absolutely necessary that no sin, not purified by repentance, should burden the soul. If during your work on prayer you do something, which troubles your conscience, hasten to purify yourself by repentance, so that you can look up to the Lord boldly. Keep humble contrition constantly in your heart. Moreover, neglect no opportunity for doing some good, or for manifesting some good disposition, above all humility, obedience and cutting off your own will. It goes without saying that zeal for salvation must always be burning and fill the whole soul; in all things, great or small, it must be the main impelling force, together with fear of God and unshaken trust.
(5) Thus established, labor in the work of prayer, praying now with set prayers, now with your own, now with short appeals to the Lord, now with the Jesus Prayer, omitting nothing which can be of help in this work. And you will receive what you seek. I remind you of the words of St. Macarius of Egypt: God will see your work of prayer and that you sincerely wish to succeed in prayer -- and He will give you prayer. For you must know that, although prayer done and achieved with one's own efforts is pleasing to God, yet that real prayer, which comes to dwell in the heart and becomes constant, is the gift of God, an act of Divine grace. Therefore, in your prayer for all other things, do not forget to pray too about prayer.
(6) I shall repeat to you what I heard from a God-loving man. "I was not leading a very good life," he said, "but God had mercy on me and sent me the spirit of repentance. This was during preparation for communion. I was trying hard to plant in myself a firm resolve to mend my ways, and especially before confession I prayed for a long time before the Icon of the Mother of God, begging Her to obtain this resolve for me. Then, during confession, I candidly related everything. My spiritual father said nothing; but while he was reciting the prayer of absolution over my head, a small sweet flame was lit in my heart. The sensation was like swallowing some delectable food. This little flame remained in the heart, and I felt as though someone was gripping my heart. From that time I prayed continuously, and kept my attention there, where this sensation was, my only care to preserve it. And God helped me. I had not heard about the Jesus Prayer, and when I did hear of it, I saw that what was withing me was precisely that which is sought by this prayer." I mention this story to make you understand what the work of prayer seeks and what are the signs that it is received.
(7) I shall also add the following words of St. Gregory of Sinai: "Grace abides in us from the time of our holy baptism; but, through our inattention, vanity and the wrong life we lead it is stifled, or buried. When a man resolves to lead a righteous life and is zealous for salvation, the fruit of his whole labor is, therefore, the restoration in force of this gift of grace. It comes to pass in a two-fold manner: first, this gift becomes revealed through many labors in following the commandments, this gift becomes more radiant and brilliant. Secondly, it manifests and reveals itself through constant invocation of the Lord Jesus in prayer. The first method is powerful, but the second is more so, so that even the first method gains power through it. Thus, if we sincerely wish to open the seed of grace concealed in us, let us hasten to train ourselves in this latter exercise of the heart, and let us have only this work of prayer in our heart, without forms, without images, till it warms our heart and makes it burn with ineffable love of the Lord." + St Theophan the Recluse +
this is true Christian perfection. Thanks for sharing
I think something that is underrated by us sometimes is PERSISTENCE. Knowing our spiritual goals as Christians and remembering:
"And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Continually and boldly and with determination praying, reading the Bible and spiritual books, ALWAYS getting up after a fall and repenting to our Merciful Lord and Savior and asking for the intercession of St.Mary and all the saints and angels. Remembering our goal.