Recently I've been going through a turbulent stage in my life, and I think God has been trying to show me something. I have an insane amount of pride, although I would never have thought so. I am constantly concerned with how people view me! It's insane, really. I watch how I act, what I say, what I do around people; out of fear that people might not like me, trash talk me, or be displeased by myself. I always thought that this was a confidence problem, but now it seems like it has its roots in pride instead. This concern of how people view me, is really a concern for my own acceptance and love. These fears of being trash-talked or disliked is a concern for my own reputation.
And, as such, to conquer pride you must attack it at the source- yourself. This revelation allowed me to realize that, who cares? I am placing myself at the center of the world- thinking everyone cares about my actions, who I am, and even the words I type now. But, I am really nothing, and although people will indeed talk bad/good about you, does it really matter? If you have that conviction within yourself, not to live for yourself, then God's love will cast out all these fears and life will be a lot easier for you in that sense.
I am very excited over this lesson, but maybe some of you have some things to enlighten me with. In honesty, I am actually afraid that I will go out tomorrow and forget what I have learned, for I have far too long been a victim of this pride, that I do not know how to live without it. Anyone have any tips that will keep you humble?
Comments
this book says it all.
One of the fathers say (i forgot who) that responding to praise shows we have accepted it. But we should be dead to praise and insults.
Woe to you when men speak well of you.
Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake, rejoice and be exceedingly glad for great is your reward in heaven.
Being persecuted for God's name can be something as simple as trying to follow God's commandments and people think you are crazy - like trying to be chaste in a generation that thinks chasity is abnormal. It's their thinking that's been flawed.
A tip for being 'humble': if we find anything 'good' in us say "by God's grace I am what I am". We don't deserve God's grace, nor can we do anything so God can love us more. But out of His grace we work. I guess if we are seeking to please people and be perfect in their eyes, we are really being a hypocrite when we stand before God.. We would be embarrased when we stand before Him and talk to Him, because He knows our real state, that we are nothing without Him. While infront of people we put this act as if we made ourselves, or that we are something.
H.H's book has the complete answers all the things you stated before
Well said +iloveJesus.
Heres something also that I often have to remind myself: IT IS NOT YOU who will make the pride stop, God will be the one through HIS Divine Grace and love who will make you to know Humility because He is the prime example of it by leaving HIS Heavenly Glory to come in our lowly human form to save us. Remember your sins and repent daily, asking God to take away this thing from you every day. You have to understand you are not the source of any progress you have. God is the one by HIS Mercy and love that has granted it and it is not because you are "good". Fasting and reading Spiritual books about fathers who were humble or books by Abune Sinoda on the topic also help.
Heres something written by his Grace Abune Sinoda that might help called " Beware of False Humility":
http://www.coptichymns.net/module-library-viewpub-tid-1-pid-609.html
Also Habib Giurgiz wrote a couple of things on the topic that are good to think about:
The Evil of Pride:
http://mobile.coptichymns.net/index.php?module=library&func=viewpub&tid=1&pid=625
One Should Not Praise Himself:
http://www.coptichymns.net/index.php?module=library&func=viewpub&tid=1&pid=627
Advice for Those Who Seek Humility:
http://www.coptichymns.net/index.php?module=library&func=viewpub&tid=1&pid=624
Vainglory:
http://mobile.coptichymns.net/module-library-viewpub-tid-1-pid-626.html
Humility and Meekness:
http://www.coptichymns.net/index.php?module=library&func=viewpub&tid=1&pid=623
I am so angry at myself. I keepf alling into the same sin, and I set a time period for myself of time taht it will take for me to be "good" again, say if I can stop this sin for a week, from the on I can be good. And I keep falling, and it keeps making me think im floor worthless and I hate myself i suck
don't beat yourself up because of this. think of it as God's way of humbling you. the more you think you can or you have the ability to be "good" then you're being prideful in thinking "oh yea, i can be good if i want to". whenever im becoming prideful or self-righteous, i think of the desert fathers who obviously achieved manifold virtues, yet thought of themselves as the greatest sinnners (and they BELIEVED it with all their heart). if st. anthony thought he was the greatest sinner alive, then what am i?
-your sister ♥
Deceiving Truths, I posted a topic about it just today! :
http://tasbeha.org/content/community/index.php/topic,12326.0.html
(watch the whole series)
I am so angry at myself. I keepf alling into the same sin, and I set a time period for myself of time taht it will take for me to be "good" again, say if I can stop this sin for a week, from the on I can be good. And I keep falling, and it keeps making me think im floor worthless and I hate myself i suck
Here is a nice tip from a book called the way of the ascetics about how to live like a monk in the city. If you're angry with yourself over sin this is an example of pride because a humble person knows that they're a sinner and that they expect themselves to sin; the surprise is if they manage to follow the commandments. The humble person in this situation simply acknowledges this as yet one another of their many daily sins and quietly, yet quickly without much disturbance of mind or emotion they return to God. The emotional disturbance comes from the devil because he is jealous and he wants us to turn back from God and lose hope.
Another example of pride is that we sometimes attach value to ourselves because we are capable of following the commandments; the truth as revealed in Scripture is that we love God because He loved us first by loving us when we were sinners. God doesn't love or value us because we follow His commandments; He loves and values us because He made us and bestowed the dignity of His image and likeness on us. Its kind of like how a father loves a son from the moment they're born even though the son is not capable of doing anything to please their father yet with their own capabilities. The father loves that son just simply because he is his son and to provide for him and look after him, even to just see him is a source of great joy. Its like that with God and us, I think pride is where we set standards for ourselves which we presume are the standard we need to be at to be loved but the truth is God's love for us started well before the thought to follow Him even entered into our minds and the truth is that He actually implanted that good intention in there.
If you now realise the pride of your heart simply thank God that He has opened your eyes; I can promise you that this is a growing sense which will increase every day; just as a stain on a white garment is more noticeable on a clean garment than it is on a dirty one so it is as we grow closer to God we will see our sins more clearly but this is the product of God helping us to see them; its not something we figured out.
My suggestions is don't worry about beating yourself up too much; just visit your confession father, tell him about your experiences and ask him to absolve you of all these sins, have communion and then you're done - well, until the next time at least. :)
[quote author=liftmyheart link=topic=12144.msg143884#msg143884 date=1314675713]
I am so angry at myself. I keepf alling into the same sin, and I set a time period for myself of time taht it will take for me to be "good" again, say if I can stop this sin for a week, from the on I can be good. And I keep falling, and it keeps making me think im floor worthless and I hate myself i suck
Here is a nice tip from a book called the way of the ascetics about how to live like a monk in the city. If you're angry with yourself over sin this is an example of pride because a humble person knows that they're a sinner and that they expect themselves to sin; the surprise is if they manage to follow the commandments. The humble person in this situation simply acknowledges this as yet one another of their many daily sins and quietly, yet quickly without much disturbance of mind or emotion they return to God. The emotional disturbance comes from the devil because he is jealous and he wants us to turn back from God and lose hope.
Another example of pride is that we sometimes attach value to ourselves because we are capable of following the commandments; the truth as revealed in Scripture is that we love God because He loved us first by loving us when we were sinners. God doesn't love or value us because we follow His commandments; He loves and values us because He made us and bestowed the dignity of His image and likeness on us. Its kind of like how a father loves a son from the moment they're born even though the son is not capable of doing anything to please their father yet with their own capabilities. The father loves that son just simply because he is his son and to provide for him and look after him, even to just see him is a source of great joy. Its like that with God and us, I think pride is where we set standards for ourselves which we presume are the standard we need to be at to be loved but the truth is God's love for us started well before the thought to follow Him even entered into our minds and the truth is that He actually implanted that good intention in there.
If you now realise the pride of your heart simply thank God that He has opened your eyes; I can promise you that this is a growing sense which will increase every day; just as a stain on a white garment is more noticeable on a clean garment than it is on a dirty one so it is as we grow closer to God we will see our sins more clearly but this is the product of God helping us to see them; its not something we figured out.
My suggestions is don't worry about beating yourself up too much; just visit your confession father, tell him about your experiences and ask him to absolve you of all these sins, have communion and then you're done - well, until the next time at least. :)
2 qs: is this book by Tito Colliander?
and this reminds me of Abouna Anthony's sermon, "Decieving Truths" when he talked about the concept of grace--"we don't work FOR God's acceptance, we work FROM God's acceptance.
[quote author=liftmyheart link=topic=12144.msg143884#msg143884 date=1314675713]
I am so angry at myself. I keepf alling into the same sin, and I set a time period for myself of time taht it will take for me to be "good" again, say if I can stop this sin for a week, from the on I can be good. And I keep falling, and it keeps making me think im floor worthless and I hate myself i suck
Here is a nice tip from a book called the way of the ascetics about how to live like a monk in the city. If you're angry with yourself over sin this is an example of pride because a humble person knows that they're a sinner and that they expect themselves to sin; the surprise is if they manage to follow the commandments. The humble person in this situation simply acknowledges this as yet one another of their many daily sins and quietly, yet quickly without much disturbance of mind or emotion they return to God. The emotional disturbance comes from the devil because he is jealous and he wants us to turn back from God and lose hope.
Another example of pride is that we sometimes attach value to ourselves because we are capable of following the commandments; the truth as revealed in Scripture is that we love God because He loved us first by loving us when we were sinners. God doesn't love or value us because we follow His commandments; He loves and values us because He made us and bestowed the dignity of His image and likeness on us. Its kind of like how a father loves a son from the moment they're born even though the son is not capable of doing anything to please their father yet with their own capabilities. The father loves that son just simply because he is his son and to provide for him and look after him, even to just see him is a source of great joy. Its like that with God and us, I think pride is where we set standards for ourselves which we presume are the standard we need to be at to be loved but the truth is God's love for us started well before the thought to follow Him even entered into our minds and the truth is that He actually implanted that good intention in there.
If you now realise the pride of your heart simply thank God that He has opened your eyes; I can promise you that this is a growing sense which will increase every day; just as a stain on a white garment is more noticeable on a clean garment than it is on a dirty one so it is as we grow closer to God we will see our sins more clearly but this is the product of God helping us to see them; its not something we figured out.
My suggestions is don't worry about beating yourself up too much; just visit your confession father, tell him about your experiences and ask him to absolve you of all these sins, have communion and then you're done - well, until the next time at least. :)
Great words, LiD. Thanks :)
[quote author=LoveisDivine link=topic=12144.msg144439#msg144439 date=1315644543]
[quote author=liftmyheart link=topic=12144.msg143884#msg143884 date=1314675713]
I am so angry at myself. I keepf alling into the same sin, and I set a time period for myself of time taht it will take for me to be "good" again, say if I can stop this sin for a week, from the on I can be good. And I keep falling, and it keeps making me think im floor worthless and I hate myself i suck
Here is a nice tip from a book called the way of the ascetics about how to live like a monk in the city. If you're angry with yourself over sin this is an example of pride because a humble person knows that they're a sinner and that they expect themselves to sin; the surprise is if they manage to follow the commandments. The humble person in this situation simply acknowledges this as yet one another of their many daily sins and quietly, yet quickly without much disturbance of mind or emotion they return to God. The emotional disturbance comes from the devil because he is jealous and he wants us to turn back from God and lose hope.
Another example of pride is that we sometimes attach value to ourselves because we are capable of following the commandments; the truth as revealed in Scripture is that we love God because He loved us first by loving us when we were sinners. God doesn't love or value us because we follow His commandments; He loves and values us because He made us and bestowed the dignity of His image and likeness on us. Its kind of like how a father loves a son from the moment they're born even though the son is not capable of doing anything to please their father yet with their own capabilities. The father loves that son just simply because he is his son and to provide for him and look after him, even to just see him is a source of great joy. Its like that with God and us, I think pride is where we set standards for ourselves which we presume are the standard we need to be at to be loved but the truth is God's love for us started well before the thought to follow Him even entered into our minds and the truth is that He actually implanted that good intention in there.
If you now realise the pride of your heart simply thank God that He has opened your eyes; I can promise you that this is a growing sense which will increase every day; just as a stain on a white garment is more noticeable on a clean garment than it is on a dirty one so it is as we grow closer to God we will see our sins more clearly but this is the product of God helping us to see them; its not something we figured out.
My suggestions is don't worry about beating yourself up too much; just visit your confession father, tell him about your experiences and ask him to absolve you of all these sins, have communion and then you're done - well, until the next time at least. :)
2 qs: is this book by Tito Colliander?
and this reminds me of Abouna Anthony's sermon, "Decieving Truths" when he talked about the concept of grace--"we don't work FOR God's acceptance, we work FROM God's acceptance.
Yes, it is Tito Colliander's book. Its a very tough read and should be read in very small doses. I found that its best balanced with something more uplifting like the practice of the presence of God by brother Lawrence.
I don't know Abouna Anthony but that sounds like a lovely paraphrase to remember.
From: The Mystery of Godliness by Habib Guirgus
Chapter 53: Advice for Those Who Seek Humility Source
[quote author=ForeverYours link=topic=12144.msg144448#msg144448 date=1315675107]
[quote author=LoveisDivine link=topic=12144.msg144439#msg144439 date=1315644543]
[quote author=liftmyheart link=topic=12144.msg143884#msg143884 date=1314675713]
I am so angry at myself. I keepf alling into the same sin, and I set a time period for myself of time taht it will take for me to be "good" again, say if I can stop this sin for a week, from the on I can be good. And I keep falling, and it keeps making me think im floor worthless and I hate myself i suck
Here is a nice tip from a book called the way of the ascetics about how to live like a monk in the city. If you're angry with yourself over sin this is an example of pride because a humble person knows that they're a sinner and that they expect themselves to sin; the surprise is if they manage to follow the commandments. The humble person in this situation simply acknowledges this as yet one another of their many daily sins and quietly, yet quickly without much disturbance of mind or emotion they return to God. The emotional disturbance comes from the devil because he is jealous and he wants us to turn back from God and lose hope.
Another example of pride is that we sometimes attach value to ourselves because we are capable of following the commandments; the truth as revealed in Scripture is that we love God because He loved us first by loving us when we were sinners. God doesn't love or value us because we follow His commandments; He loves and values us because He made us and bestowed the dignity of His image and likeness on us. Its kind of like how a father loves a son from the moment they're born even though the son is not capable of doing anything to please their father yet with their own capabilities. The father loves that son just simply because he is his son and to provide for him and look after him, even to just see him is a source of great joy. Its like that with God and us, I think pride is where we set standards for ourselves which we presume are the standard we need to be at to be loved but the truth is God's love for us started well before the thought to follow Him even entered into our minds and the truth is that He actually implanted that good intention in there.
If you now realise the pride of your heart simply thank God that He has opened your eyes; I can promise you that this is a growing sense which will increase every day; just as a stain on a white garment is more noticeable on a clean garment than it is on a dirty one so it is as we grow closer to God we will see our sins more clearly but this is the product of God helping us to see them; its not something we figured out.
My suggestions is don't worry about beating yourself up too much; just visit your confession father, tell him about your experiences and ask him to absolve you of all these sins, have communion and then you're done - well, until the next time at least. :)
2 qs: is this book by Tito Colliander?
and this reminds me of Abouna Anthony's sermon, "Decieving Truths" when he talked about the concept of grace--"we don't work FOR God's acceptance, we work FROM God's acceptance.
Yes, it is Tito Colliander's book. Its a very tough read and should be read in very small doses. I found that its best balanced with something more uplifting like the practice of the presence of God by brother Lawrence.
I don't know Abouna Anthony but that sounds like a lovely paraphrase to remember.
YOU SHOULD WATCH THIS VIDEO CALLED DECEIVING TRUTHS BY ABUNE ANTHONY MASSEH!
GROUND BREAKING ON THIS ISSUE OF PRIDE
(Part 1 Deceiving Truths)
http://orthodoxsermons.org/sermons/deceiving-truths-part-1
I noticed that if somebody was born in egypt, they get taught to be humble and get taught that they are nothing special and never mind how much you achieve, you're still not good enough.
In the west, children are encouraged and praised whether they are geniuses or not..made to feel confident and believe in themselves.
They are two extremes...neither is 100%
are you sure it just isn't a matter of you being raised up the western way and then feeling guilty about it? because I don't think you should feel guilty..just know your true capabilities. I'm not amazing..but i'm not absolutely bad either.
everybody has things that they are good at..and things that they can't do to save their lives.
we just need to make sure that we don't brag about ourselves. yes we can be happy when we achieve something..but also thank god for making you good at it.
Also we don't need to put ourselves down and moan about how we will never be able to do the things we are not good at..because that's not gonna get us anywhere.
I am proud that I am trying to lead a good life, proud that I was born into a christian family. Proud when I pass an exam, get a job..etc and I thank god for it.
it's like, god gives you a present every now and then..so you smile , take it, say thank you and enjoy your life....so what is the problem?
let me know what you think and explain if i didn't understand the pride you are experiencing.