there must have been things that have happened to get you to think like this there are good people out there which you know.if you think you have it bad you have no idea.i will prove to you
[quote author=DC link=topic=12240.msg143960#msg143960 date=1314831778] I have come to the realization that i don't have any friends. i have no one i can talk to or hang out with anymore, whether it be guys or girls. I dont have anyone i can trust or tell how i feel on any given day, and i just keep all of my emotions bottled up.
I know that Christ is my best friend, but my situation can't be socially or mentally healthy.
EDIT: its not that i am socially awkward or am not a likable person (in my opinion), i just can't find a real friend.
Hi DC, I have this same exact problem but I find a good solution to this is to remind ourselves that Christ himself could not trust anyone for he was wanted for death he couldn't even trust his own disciple as Judas displayed yet he still opened his heart and look to everyone in righteousness, I suggest to maybe become a bit more outgoing and more willing to introduce yourself and talk to others and in meeting new people you will be able to find many new friends and inevitably the few whom you can trust wholly and confide in :)but I hope I have helped, God bless
I felt like this a lot. Then God pushed me to finally see it is never about me. Focus on serving others, not on having people friend you or impressing others or what others think of you. You will find such a greater happiness when your life is focused on serving God and others and not focused on yourself. From the time I was a kid, I always wanted a "best friend" but you gotta realize that God is the one who is always there, who is always listening, who always cares. Pray to Him and pray for heavenly peace and He will give you companions on earth too.
In seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his vessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply and entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God. Happy storm that wrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone! There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father's arms, and is blessedly clasped therein! When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so peculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for them; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time.
Oh, tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father! Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou art in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms. Now is the time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous, and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the earth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of thy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky were supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory if it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye. May the Holy Spirit give you to rest in Jesus this closing day of the month. - Charles Spurgeon
wow, great posts. i also had lots of problems in this area previously and this advice is all good. dc, these problems are related to your spiritual problems. when u feel far from God, nothing else will feel good. kick yrself in the butt and start praying and stuff and when u keep at it even when u don't feel like it, u will notice a change. may God guide u and pray for me too, a sinner.
this was my problem. might not be the same for you, but i thought i would give you my two cents.
i was looking for the negatives in some of my friends, then i could aha! i knew they were horrible friends because the person didnt hand me a lafafa (linen) in the communion line, or they never sent a text to check on me that week i was at the beach. silly stuff
as always though if any of the advice given here is beneficial, you should talk to your FoC since he knows you personally
Dude, I have no friends either. You know what it's taught me so far? Independence. And very good independence. Teaches you many virtues that you will live by, and by the time you have those virtues, you won't feel bothered, trust me. Don't worry about it, I know it's difficult but try to get friends, and don't try to get many, find a very suitable friend for you and stick with him or her (preferably him because with her, sexual immorality can happen). Just don't die. Remember, you are not dead, you're alive, you have a life ahead of you, don't worry about the present. I am a philosophy student at the moment, and I am deeply studying subjects about life, death and medicine. Ask me more questions if you'd like. I will leave you with a few questions for you to answer for yourself. Do you want or do you need? Why do you want or need? Can you control this?
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=12240.msg144350#msg144350 date=1315444591] Do you want or do you need?
It is necessary to have at least one friend.
"Cherish your friend, keep faith in him" Sirach 27:17
A man who has friends must himself be friendly,[a] But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Proverbs 27:6
Confess your trespasses[a] to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16
the idea of being independent 100% of the time is a grave mistake. monks themselves are not independent, their FoC's and brothers around them are their best friends and they can be that because they always see, pray, and learn as a group. That is why we have communal worship, we pray with each other and for each other.
Moses himself thought that he could do everything INDEPENDENTLY
17 So Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing that you do is not good. 18 Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself. Exodus 18:17-18
[quote author=DC link=topic=12240.msg144348#msg144348 date=1315441604] I think this is partially because of my older brother. He has so many close friends that actually care and look out for him. They call him to check up on him, hang out with him, etc. He actually has real friends to pick up to call a "best friend". Everyone i have are at best aquaintences. I just want one good friend i can trust and rely on.
forgive me but i find this amusing because i can totally relate to it :D (only ive gotten used to my loneliness)
It's better than having fake friends, I must admit. Get to find out who you are, and then God will naturally bring people, who are attracted to authenticity, to you. Pray that I do the same.
I have had this problem in the past, and I am still figuring out and learning new techniques about how to make a good friend, and what I have realized is, it's not about what you try to say or do. I used to act a different way when i was with different groups of people. And i hung out with like 5 groups of people. What i learned, was, and can't emphasize more, YOU NEED TO BE YOURSELF. If you are not being yourself then you will be attracting the wrong kind of people. The person who likes you for who you are is the person you want to be with.
Comments
I have come to the realization that i don't have any friends. i have no one i can talk to or hang out with anymore, whether it be guys or girls. I dont have anyone i can trust or tell how i feel on any given day, and i just keep all of my emotions bottled up.
I know that Christ is my best friend, but my situation can't be socially or mentally healthy.
EDIT: its not that i am socially awkward or am not a likable person (in my opinion), i just can't find a real friend.
God will provide, brother. Pray about it.
I have this same exact problem but I find a good solution to this is to remind ourselves that Christ himself could not trust anyone for he was wanted for death he couldn't even trust his own disciple as Judas displayed yet he still opened his heart and look to everyone in righteousness, I suggest to maybe become a bit more outgoing and more willing to introduce yourself and talk to others and in meeting new people you will be able to find many new friends and inevitably the few whom you can trust wholly and confide in :)but I hope I have helped, God bless
I'll pray for you
In seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his vessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply and entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God. Happy storm that wrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone! There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father's arms, and is blessedly clasped therein! When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so peculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for them; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time.
Oh, tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father! Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou art in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms. Now is the time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous, and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the earth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of thy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky were supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory if it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye. May the Holy Spirit give you to rest in Jesus this closing day of the month. - Charles Spurgeon
i also had lots of problems in this area previously and this advice is all good.
dc, these problems are related to your spiritual problems.
when u feel far from God, nothing else will feel good.
kick yrself in the butt and start praying and stuff and when u keep at it even when u don't feel like it, u will notice a change.
may God guide u and pray for me too, a sinner.
i was looking for the negatives in some of my friends, then i could aha! i knew they were horrible friends because the person didnt hand me a lafafa (linen) in the communion line, or they never sent a text to check on me that week i was at the beach. silly stuff
as always though if any of the advice given here is beneficial, you should talk to your FoC since he knows you personally
I have no friends either. You know what it's taught me so far? Independence. And very good independence. Teaches you many virtues that you will live by, and by the time you have those virtues, you won't feel bothered, trust me. Don't worry about it, I know it's difficult but try to get friends, and don't try to get many, find a very suitable friend for you and stick with him or her (preferably him because with her, sexual immorality can happen). Just don't die. Remember, you are not dead, you're alive, you have a life ahead of you, don't worry about the present. I am a philosophy student at the moment, and I am deeply studying subjects about life, death and medicine. Ask me more questions if you'd like. I will leave you with a few questions for you to answer for yourself. Do you want or do you need? Why do you want or need? Can you control this?
Do you want or do you need?
It is necessary to have at least one friend.
"Cherish your friend, keep faith in him" Sirach 27:17
A man who has friends must himself be friendly,[a]
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Proverbs 27:6
Confess your trespasses[a] to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16
the idea of being independent 100% of the time is a grave mistake. monks themselves are not independent, their FoC's and brothers around them are their best friends and they can be that because they always see, pray, and learn as a group. That is why we have communal worship, we pray with each other and for each other.
Moses himself thought that he could do everything INDEPENDENTLY
17 So Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing that you do is not good. 18 Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself. Exodus 18:17-18
I think this is partially because of my older brother. He has so many close friends that actually care and look out for him. They call him to check up on him, hang out with him, etc. He actually has real friends to pick up to call a "best friend". Everyone i have are at best aquaintences. I just want one good friend i can trust and rely on.
forgive me but i find this amusing because i can totally relate to it :D (only ive gotten used to my loneliness)