help--how to keep my kids close to God.

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hi,
I don't know where to go..but I came here becuase I know that there are God loving people. As many of you know my marriage issues that apost a threadf about before.. My focus is my two beautiful gifts from God (my kids)..although I am not the most spirtiual person, i need to instill spiritual values in my kids..I have to do that by myself as the spouse don't have time for that..anybody can suggest movies, hymns websites for a 3 year old ands 1 year old. If an inexperienced parent is reading..please give me tips on how to get them to pray and have the most spirtiual ecxposure.
Thanks
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Comments

  • The answer is:  YOU.

  • i think love them, take them to church and pray.

    i read this and really loved it..

    On the Upbringing of Children by Elder Porphyrios

    http://www.stparaskevi.org.au/the_upbringing_of_children

    God bless u and ur family
  • + Irini nem ehmot,

    [quote author=miracleseek link=topic=12376.msg144954#msg144954 date=1316536151]
    Hi,
    I don't know where to go..but I came here becuase I know that there are God loving people. As many of you know my marriage issues that apost a threadf about before.. My focus is my two beautiful gifts from God (my kids)..although I am not the most spirtiual person, i need to instill spiritual values in my kids..I have to do that by myself as the spouse don't have time for that..anybody can suggest movies, hymns websites for a 3 year old ands 1 year old. If an inexperienced parent is reading..please give me tips on how to get them to pray and have the most spirtiual ecxposure.
    Thanks


    The highlighted part of your post is by far the most telling. If you wish your kids to have spiritual values, it is vital that you have them yourself. How can you instill in your children something you yourself do not possess? Therefore, the first thing you should do is work on yourself. Work on obtaining these spiritual values and then be an example to your children.  It is good that they are still young and you can still take them to church yourself. As they get older though, if they see you do not have any virtues, they will not have them either. You cannot merely say, 'Do as I say, not as I do' as children will not respond to that sort of hypocrisy. Be the example that you want your kids to emulate.
  • [quote author=miracleseek link=topic=12376.msg144954#msg144954 date=1316536151]
    Hi,
    I don't know where to go..but I came here becuase I know that there are God loving people. As many of you know my marriage issues that apost a threadf about before.. My focus is my two beautiful gifts from God (my kids)..although I am not the most spirtiual person, i need to instill spiritual values in my kids..I have to do that by myself as the spouse don't have time for that..anybody can suggest movies, hymns websites for a 3 year old ands 1 year old. If an inexperienced parent is reading..please give me tips on how to get them to pray and have the most spirtiual ecxposure.
    Thanks


    Hey, peace to you!

    I agree with Κηφᾶς.

    I remember, I think Pope Shenouda III, saying this about raising children: "Your child will not become as you WANT but they will become like YOU BEHAVE."

    Children will imitate your behaviour, because you are like a mirror to them.  What you do, they will do.

    Make sure that you atleast pray the "Our Father" prayer.
    Here is a very nice hymn, it says "Our Father" in Coptic. Maybe a little hard to start with, but just an idea :)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZy7x42njE0
    Also, let them go to the sundayschool. It is very important to let them go, but like said before, a good Christian upbringing, starts at home. If we don't pray with our children at home, they won't pray in the church. Home is the most important base to raise your Children in a christian manner.

    So be a Christian, and they will be it either!

    However, if you have got personal issues, problems or  you have a problem with your time, because of work, Go to your Father of Confession and talk to him! For sure he will give you a good advice for he knows your situation better than us.

    May God be with you and help you to raise your children in Gods way!  :)

    God bless you, your children and your wife.
  • hi brother  :)
    take the kids to church.
    when they get restless, take them to kiss the icons or explain to them what abouna is talking about.
    maybe u also have to take them out sometimes, but try to keep them in the service and show them what is happening.
    last sunday, a smiling mum showed me how her 1 year, 4 months old kid loves to be lifted up to kiss the icons, also he loves to go to the centre aisle and point at abouna and smile!
  • [quote author=miracleseek link=topic=12376.msg144954#msg144954 date=1316536151]
    Hi,
    I don't know where to go..but I came here becuase I know that there are God loving people. As many of you know my marriage issues that apost a threadf about before.. My focus is my two beautiful gifts from God (my kids)..although I am not the most spirtiual person, i need to instill spiritual values in my kids..I have to do that by myself as the spouse don't have time for that..anybody can suggest movies, hymns websites for a 3 year old ands 1 year old. If an inexperienced parent is reading..please give me tips on how to get them to pray and have the most spirtiual ecxposure.
    Thanks

    Greetings,
    Your children are still very young; but here is a link to the COC Saint movies that the whole family can enjoy:  http://copticservants.net/movz.php

    GOD bless your endeavors
  • I wish I had a family like that growing up, it would have helped keep my faith stronger at a young age.To keep your kids close to God make God a member of your house.

    When the kids are scared at night tell them to make the sign of the Cross and never fear the darkness because God is with them. They will know the power of the cross at a young age and carry it with them the rest of their lives.

    Before you eat, sleep pray together teach them how to pray by reading simple prayers You can get an Agpeya if you don't know some prayers or need some help. When you pray together, ask God to help with real problems that are happening in your lives for example if their grandma is sick, mention grandma and ask God to be with her and help her during the prayer. They will continue this habit until they grow up and also teach it to their children.

    You can find children's BIble movies and watch them together and talk about the moral of the story for example David didn't fear Goliath because he beleived God was with him unlike everyone else who ran away. We should also not fear when life has big problems because we know that our God is bigger than our problems and when He is with us we don't have to fear but have just like God is bigger than Goliath and David overcame him simply becuase of his great faith. This is a good way to make the kids listen and they will remember these stories and lessons throughout their lives when faced with situations.

    Learn about the liturugy and make your kids sit with you and follow along during the liturugy so that they know this is an important part of being Orthodox Christian. Help them participate by guiding them in songs during liturugy  or explaining certain parts to them so they can understand, make it fun for them. They will know that liturgy is important if you make it important and will be more likely attend as they grow older.

    Ask them what they learned in Sunday School and show them that what they learn there is important. Again if you make it important they will also take it that way.

    Try to hang out with other Orthodox Christian families so they can grow up with that community and have friends growing up who have similar values, they won't as easily fall into peer pressure becuase they'll already have their group of close friends who they can go to with love and support.

    When there are Holidays like Easter, Mary's fast, or any other fast or holiday make it a family thing. Talk about the occasion with your kids, ask them do they know what its about and make sure they know. Also when bowing for Good Friday, do it with your kids, show them how to do it and explain why you are doing it. Doing it together will be something the kids will remember as they get older and hopefully continue. Also explaining holidays will create informed Christians.

    If you don't have the answers to questions, don't worry talk to your priest and deacons at your church and tell them how you're feeling. Look on Oriental Orthodox websites as well for imformation. Be careful of the Protestant ones, they can counteract some Orthodox ideals.

    MOST OF ALL pray for your family and your children. This is the best thing you can possibly do because God will help you and help you raise your children.

    God Bless you




  • Hello try having with them family time for you teach them about our Lord ..God be with you!
  • Raising Children According to St. John Chrysostom:

    http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/raising-children-according-to-saint-john-chrysostom.aspx

    or here is the pdf, which is more detailed and complete version:
    http://www.strobertbellarmine.net/books/Chrysostom--Vainglory_and_Children.pdf

    Here is also another beautiful summary:
    http://www.pravmir.com/the-upbringing-of-children-according-to-the-holy-fathers/

    PPFM and Everyone in Egypt
  • My mom started a tradition (which she inherited from her parents) when we were younger which was to gather together every evening for 10 minutes, 5 minutes of prayer, and 5 minutes of bible study...it's definitely nothing in-depth but often especially in our mini bible studies, our conversations go deeper about spiritual things and you wouldn't believe how much these 10 minutes a day helps us all a lot!

    In the beginning it was a bit awkward to pray with one another but eventually we got used to it and this helped us to be able to pray with whoever was around us, at any time.
  • [quote author=Timothym link=topic=12376.msg146244#msg146244 date=1318996363]
    My mom started a tradition (which she inherited from her parents) when we were younger which was to gather together every evening for 10 minutes, 5 minutes of prayer, and 5 minutes of bible study...it's definitely nothing in-depth but often especially in our mini bible studies, our conversations go deeper about spiritual things and you wouldn't believe how much these 10 minutes a day helps us all a lot!

    In the beginning it was a bit awkward to pray with one another but eventually we got used to it and this helped us to be able to pray with whoever was around us, at any time.


    This is definitely great practice. But the longer the family waits to begin it the more awkward it becomes. I remember my dad telling wanting us to pray the agpeya as a family when I was a late teen and it just felt so uncomfortable because we weren't accustomed to it.

    Parents need to build this habit with their children early on. Siblings need to pray with each other constantly. Just pray tamgeed at home before lunch or the feast day of your favorite saints.

  • Exactly. I'm finding with my teens from our high school youth group that they're struggling with standing in prayer for short periods of time..when we were their age, our uncles and tante's would pray for 10 minutes at times at the end of sunday school and we waited patiently. I think as life gets busier, people at the same time are not as inclined as making time for prayer. It ends up getting pushed later and later, which never comes.
  • Timothym,

    I don't think you mean "busier", but rather "lazier".

    I'm really not sure why that's not a word in the dictionary. It should be.
  • I don't think people are lazier, TITL. Especially, in America (if we are speaking about Copts). Many people work long hours and take care of kids, etc. Kids have so many activities going on. It's not like people are without jobs, watching TV all day, and deciding not to pray. People are genuinely busier than those of previous generations. That's not an excuse but we it's unfair to just say people are lazy.
  • thats exactly what I meant Unworthy, people have so many activities: sports, arts, school, tutoring, and church activities which while all are great can sometimes overwhelm our lives and not leave any time at all for prayer, but as the saying goes, 'make time' for it.
  • [quote author=TITL link=topic=12376.msg146347#msg146347 date=1319225486]
    Lazy.


    :-X
  • Now, I'm no fancy big city lawyer, but it seems to me that there's a problem of mis-identification going on in some of the ideas put forth in this thread: I feel like this, or people feel like this, or whatever. You want to say that people are so busy, and that's true enough. But enough about people. People haven't really changed since the time of our Lord. We all know how crazy life is. People had bad days at work in Galilee too. It's not about you. The real questions that cut through all that are more along these lines: Who gives you so many opportunities to begin with, anyway? Who's there when you're so stressed out because you took on too many responsibilities and now you're going crazy? Who gives rest to all who labor?

    How could you ever think of leaving Him out of your busy, busy day when He is there all through it, loooong after you've "checked out" (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually)?

    Last night I prayed a lot less from the Agpeya than I usually try to because I had spent literally all day of the previous two days buried in work, and was absolutely exhausted. I had a feeling things would end up this way, so I feebly tried to balance things by keeping sermons, tasbeha, and other very prayer-like things going on in the background...y'know, prayer by osmosis... (aka, the prayer of the extraordinarily lazy; TITL is right).  ::)

    Of course, when I finally got sorted out to pray myself, the first thing I had to repent of was this foolish idea that somehow listening to other people pray or talk about praying would do. No way. There's no substitute for the real thing, y'know. So it doesn't really matter how busy you are, because nothing else you could be doing is as good to bring yourself (or your kids, as per the OP) to God. Just imagine how your wife or husband would feel if every time you tried to talk to them they brushed you off and gave some lame excuse because they had a hard day at work...and God is certainly closer to us than anyone, so how much worse is it that we so often do that to Him?
  • LOL prayer by osmosis  ;D

    Good points dzheremi!

    This reminds me of when people started to comment on "the greatest hits of ILSM" and said his lessons for Deacons were impossible to accomplish because of the time constraint--- when in fact, the busiest people are the ones who get more things done, and are more successful in their spiritual life.

    We can't use the excuse "so and so is taking up so much of my time, therefore I'm unable to give God His time". Puh-lease.

    Lazy. Lazy. Lazy.
  • [quote author=TITL link=topic=12376.msg146395#msg146395 date=1319292077]
    LOL prayer by osmosis  ;D

    Good points dzheremi!

    This reminds me of when people started to comment on "the greatest hits of ILSM" and said his lessons for Deacons were impossible to accomplish because of the time constraint--- when in fact, the busiest people are the ones who get more things done, and are more successful in their spiritual life.

    We can't use the excuse "so and so is taking up so much of my time, therefore I'm unable to give God His time". Puh-lease.

    Lazy. Lazy. Lazy.


    Again with the generalizations! Not everyone is living a life like yours. Where is the sensitivity or compassion? There are people working 16 hour days and can't pay the bills. Don't be so naive because you are young. No one ever said that being busy is an excuse, in fact, I said it was NOT an excuse. But we need to understand that laziness is not the only reason people don't pray.

    Some food for thought:

    [quote=Matthew 5:7, NIV]Blessed are the merciful,
      for they will be shown mercy.

    In the same way you have no mercy and compassion for those who struggle in their daily lives and find little time to pray and blatantly call them all "Lazy. Lazy. Lazy." the Lord will not show you mercy when He asks you about why you did not pray. You will have nothing to say before Him because you have held everyone to the highest standard and thought it perfectly possible.

  • I really don’t appreciate the constant personal attacks. This isn’t the first time.

    I’m not going to defend myself, because there is absolutely no gain in doing so.
    I know who I am. You don’t. It’s simple.

    I’m glad you told me where I’m destined to go after I die. The other posters may be curious as well. I recommend you starting a thread and telling each tasbeha member if they’re going to Hell.
    Quite a gift you got there.

    I have one last comment; people who use their busy life as an excuse for cutting prayer short are lazy.

    Have a nice day.
  • I feel like I should clarify for the sake of Andrew or anyone else who may have read my post that I meant my sort of "prayer by osmosis" (which I have to believe is not limited to me) is what is lazy. If you're working 16 hours a day obviously it is not a matter of laziness, but a matter of properly devoting your energy and time to God. As I wrote to someone else in another thread, your life does not have to be a struggle between the world and God in which God always loses. Thinking of things as "either I work and make money or I pray to God and my kids starve to death" or whatever is not really sensible, honestly. I have never been to Egypt, but I have been to equally poor parts of Mexico where people lived in the city dump, on top of the huge piles of garbage in shacks made out of plastic sheets and such...these people were also surely very close to starving and without the possibility for economic advancement, but they were also some of the most steadfast believers I've ever met. I do not believe that they would have given up their prayers even if it were in exchange for a big house, lots of food, and a comfortable life like many of us (including me) take for granted in the West. They knew that God gives everyone their food in due season. Would that we could have their faith!
  • [quote author=TITL link=topic=12376.msg146424#msg146424 date=1319311354]
    I really don’t appreciate the constant personal attacks. This isn’t the first time.

    I’m not going to defend myself, because there is absolutely no gain in doing so.
    I know who I am. You don’t. It’s simple.

    I’m glad you told me where I’m destined to go after I die. The other posters may be curious as well. I recommend you starting a thread and telling each tasbeha member if they’re going to Hell.
    Quite a gift you got there.

    I have one last comment; people who use their busy life as an excuse for cutting prayer short are lazy.

    Have a nice day.


    Where was the personal attack? Did I say anything wrong. It is clear in your posts you have not one shred of compassion for those who have so many problems. You called them all lazy not once but about 7 times!!

    I guess in TITL world "you will be judged by how you judge" = "you're going to hell"

    Where did I determine where you would end up after you die? It would be nice to highlight it in my post instead of falsely accusing me.

    I have one last comment: Go back and read your posts and maybe you will see what I saw.
  • Prayer can be incorporated into every moment, if one wishes.  This can be from the simple to the complicated. 

    Example:
    1.  The Jesus Prayer; may be utilized at any moment.  There can be a rudimentary App to help one with such an endeavor.

    2.  The sign of the Cross; at any initiation or closing of an act.

    3.  A meal blessing (even before stuffing one's face with a bag of potato chips)

    4.  Beginning the Lord's Prayer before starting your car and upon arrival at a destination.

    5.  Recorded prayers to help recite and memorize.

    Plenty of opportunity. 

    Is there a motivation?
    Is there a real want?


    Generally, crisis and emergency can make those moments for prayer creep up out of even the most difficult and demanding day.
  • I really like that ILSM, I agree with every bit of that. And it's all so practical too!

    There are even some who are (in a sense) in a constant state of prayer-attributing everything to God, constantly thanking Him, constantly talking to Him. It's difficult to reach this level of spirituality, but by no means impossible.
  • Going off of what ILSM said in the monastery the monks learn all the psalms by heart why? So while they are doing their work i.e. cleaning, making baskets, or any type of work or service they can pray while they are on the go. Prayer is a constant and ongoing connection it's not like a phone where you're on with Him for a certain amount of time and then click it's over.
  • Where did I determine where you would end up after you die? It would be nice to highlight it in my post instead of falsely accusing me.

    Ok.

    the Lord will not show you mercy when He asks you about why you did not pray. You will have nothing to say before Him

    Don't know how to highlight; I hope bold is ok.

    To make it a complete 7: LAZY.
  • As a child I was raised up in Egypt and regularly attended Sunday school till 12yo.
    After that I received no religious guidance due to transitional and migration issues when my family moved away from Egypt.

    Even though as a child I did not necessarily understand all the bible studies and hymns and symbols that I was taught..they did stick with me and I still remember them now. it is amazing how ready children's minds are to learn.

    An overview:
    going through the bible (old and new testaments) there are many stories which you can tell to your children and there are many children's bibles which have illustrations that can help you with that.
    you can make a habit of telling them as bedtime stories.

    I used to (and still do !) enjoy cartoons of bible stories which can be used to alternate with the Disney movies or "tv time" just make sure they are age suitable as some may be boring for this age group.

    the best way to learn spiritual songs/hymns is to buy the CD or download them onto a usb stick and play in the car/ at home and encourage the kids to sing along.

    also make a habit of gathering together (with kids in bed) just to pray our father before bedtime..obviously pray slowly, outloud and then take turns every night for each one of you to say a personal prayer...ask your kids to pray to god asking for eg the toy they want for their birthday etc etc..and that will show them how to ask god whenever they want anything.

    it helps to have visual colourful pictures for story telling and it would be great if you can find colouring in pages online to print out for bible characters etc.
  • Once they are older you can ask them to read short chapters in the children's bible.

    Repeating famous verses related to the stories will help them memorise these also.
  • brilliant advice, mnc_hnn
    :)
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