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I cant bring myself to confess :(

da_samda_sam
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hi,

I have committed a sin and cannot bring myself to confess it to my confession father...i feel really bad about what i have done and i feel unable to have communion, but i am unable to make myself say it to my Abouna, i have thought about changing confession fathers but the issue is not my Abouna but it is me that is the problem. Can anyone help me  :(

Please prayer for me a sinner

Comments

  • TITLTITL
    When a person is sick, they take medicine.

    Don't ever deprive yourself from communion, unless you're told to.

    As for speaking with Abouna, ask God to give you courage, and He will.
  • Unknown
    Hey,

    I understand very well the feeling you have now. I had committed a very dangerous sin before, and had a hard time confessing it. To put it in perspective, I confessed it over a period of two years within which I came back to my father of confession constantly saying that I had something to say but couldn't, and finally he got most of it out of me. He understood the pain I had speaking about it, so he asked me not to continue. Just go speak to your F.O.C. and ask him to help you bring it out.

    My spiritual father told me this, and although it is a known thing, it had great influence on me in remembering it. "There is not a single sin that has the audacity to think of standing against the blood of Christ."

    So don't worry. Do not fall into despair, and try your best to speak, or begin to do it. God will guide your path.

    Do not be ashamed to enter the Church (to confess). Be ashamed when you sin but not when you repent.

    St. John Chrysostom

    ReturnOrthodoxy
  • peter_saadpeter_saad
    I'm in the same boat as you. It can be very difficult to confess.

    If you can't confess, that means you're too proud of yourself. You worry too much about how about will react or think about

    if you were humble (not that you aren't), you would put yourself in a self-denying position, and feel the humility that you did something wrong. That's essentially the point of confession--to feel humility for your sins.
  • George_Mina_Awad
    I have the same trouble. I try to remind myself that it's irrational.

    The way I heard someone put it is: Abouna isn't going to say," Wait...you did WHAT?! Hold on, I gotta call H.H. about this one!"

    What's the worst that's gonna happen? Even if you wind up feeling bad, you'll be at peace with yourself when you're done.
  • george95899george95899
    I also know what you're going through, it's the devils first hit. The devil will try to raise you're pride or remind you of the greatness of your sin to a level in which he can still have a grasp on you, but with a true repentant heart that is practicing humility, the devil will lose his grasp on you because neither of those is of his nature. You will then remember the greatness of God's mercy and you will be evermore driven to confess. Remember that God is the one to whom you're confessing your sin to. Abouna is there to accept the confession and give an absolution so abouna will not look at you differently or judge you.

    I think too often we forget the very comforting words of Christ when he says: "I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." In my personal opinion, one the devil's biggest goals is to make sure we forget this 'joy' that occurs in heaven and automatically transforms it into shame as we approach Confession.

    God be with you! :)
  • CopticSoldierCopticSoldier
    The Bible says that there is more rejoycing over the sinner who repents than many who have no need of repentance.

    The devil would have us believe we ought to burry ourselves in shame and hide from God like Adam and Eve did.  There is nothing God hates more than when were far away from Him and nothing which brings Him more joy than when we return like the prodigal son, when the father saw him far off He came running to meet him even he smelt like the pigs because of where he came from.  This is like us with our sins.
  • Khas.
    Dude
  • abrahamfabrahamf
    "Be ashamed when you sin, don't be ashamed when you repent [To repent means to have a change of heart and mind. It is not simply a feeling of sorrow ,but a psycho/spiritual growth away from evil/death and a turning to God/life]. Sin is the wound, repentance is the medicine. Sin is followed by shame; repentance is followed by boldness [ Boldness means to beg God for undeserved mercy]. Satan has overturned this order and given boldness to sin and shame to repentance."

    +St. John Chrysostom+
  • abrahamfabrahamf
    "My child, do you want to crush the head of the serpent? Openly reveal your thoughts in confession. The strength of the devil lies in cunning thoughts. Do you hold on to them? He remains hidden. Do you bring them to the light? He disappears. And then Christ rejoices the prayer progresses, and the light of grace heals and brings peace to your nous and heart."
    +Elder Joseph the Hesychast+


    "Do not be ashamed to reveal your scabs to your spiritual director. Be prepared as well to accept from him disgrace for your sins, so that by being disgraced, you might avoid eternal shame." + St. Hilarion of Optina +

    "Let us then not be ashamed to confess our sins unto the Lord. Shame indeed there is when each makes known his sins, but that shame, as it were, ploughs his land, removed the ever-recurring brambles, prunes the thorns, and gives life to the fruits which he believed were dead. Follow him who, by diligently ploughing his field, sought for eternal fruit: "being reviled we bless, being persecuted we endure, being defames we entreat, we are made as the offscouring of the world." If you plough after this fashion you will sow spiritual seed. Plough that you may get rid of sin and gain fruit. He ploughed so as to destroy in himself the last tendency to persecution. What more could Christ give to lead us on to the pursuit of perfection, than to convert and then give us for a teacher one who was a persecutor?" + St. Ambrose of Milan +
  • God
    if u cant say it to you father of confession try writing it down on a paper before confession and taking it with you, try reading what`s on the paper word for word if ur still struggling or you can`t give it to your F.O.C.
    and being ashamed or scared is just an emotion the devil uses to try to get us not to confess don`t you ever be scared of what your father of confession is going to say, if anything he will think greater of you because you have put ur eternal life before your pride

    PFM
  • mabsootamabsoota
    wow, what a lot of great posts!
    may God give u wisdom as u read all this and then make the time to go and confess.
    remember - God loves u more than u do.
    :)
  • socoolbishoysocoolbishoy
    as mentioned before, when a person is sick, they take medication and go to the doctor... so when we sin we need to partake of the communion to have God help us in all that we do to over come this sin... but there are sins that would forbid you from taking communion... so if you are in doubt you have to find the solution so you may again go and partake of communion.

    one thing that I do, and the pope told the priests to accept, is if you cannot confess the sin at the time of confession, you can tell abouna, there is a sin that I'm uncomfortable talking about, if you can absolve me so I can commune, and through communion and your prayers, I will overcome the devil of the fear of humiliation, and next time I will be able to open up and tell you all about it.  the priest then will be able to absolve you, and you can partake of communion, and God will help you to overcome the embarrassment of the sin, so try that, and come and tell us what happened!
  • peter_saadpeter_saad
    [quote author=brother_demian link=topic=12524.msg147522#msg147522 date=1321321026]
    if u cant say it to you father of confession try writing it down on a paper before confession and taking it with you, try reading what`s on the paper word for word if ur still struggling or you can`t give it to your F.O.C.
    and being ashamed or scared is just an emotion the devil uses to try to get us not to confess don`t you ever be scared of what your father of confession is going to say, if anything he will think greater of you because you have put ur eternal life before your pride

    PFM
    handing a piece of paper to your FoC is pointless. lol. that kill the whole point if confession. the point of confession is to feel humility for your sins. If you simply hand over a piece of paper, what does that show?

    Your statements are contradictory. Feeling too scared to confess IS a sign of pride. You're afraid of what the priest will think of you, and you're afraid your reputation will be ruined. And quite honestly, I think a priest's advice should be kinda 'harsh' on you. Being babied your whole life will get you nowhere.
  • JoshuaaJoshuaa

    I don't think it has to be pride. It could be the person doesn't trust themselves and is not sure if they could trust the confusion with someone else. It might feel embaressing.
  • peter_saadpeter_saad
    But isn't the point of confession to feel kind of embarrassed/humiliated? That's what repentance is, to hate sin and not want to do it again.
  • George_Mina_Awad
    [quote author=peter_saad link=topic=12524.msg147614#msg147614 date=1321491661]
    [quote author=brother_demian link=topic=12524.msg147522#msg147522 date=1321321026]
    if u cant say it to you father of confession try writing it down on a paper before confession and taking it with you, try reading what`s on the paper word for word if ur still struggling or you can`t give it to your F.O.C.
    and being ashamed or scared is just an emotion the devil uses to try to get us not to confess don`t you ever be scared of what your father of confession is going to say, if anything he will think greater of you because you have put ur eternal life before your pride

    PFM
    handing a piece of paper to your FoC is pointless. lol. that kill the whole point if confession. the point of confession is to feel humility for your sins. If you simply hand over a piece of paper, what does that show?

    Your statements are contradictory. Feeling too scared to confess IS a sign of pride. You're afraid of what the priest will think of you, and you're afraid your reputation will be ruined. And quite honestly, I think a priest's advice should be kinda 'harsh' on you. Being babied your whole life will get you nowhere.


    I disagree. If you feel like it's that bad that you can't say it out loud, then you're probably feeling enough shame to not want to do it again. If that's what it takes for it to come out, then that's what it takes. It's not babying.
  • peter_saadpeter_saad
    [quote author=George_Mina_Awad link=topic=12524.msg147635#msg147635 date=1321502939]
    [quote author=peter_saad link=topic=12524.msg147614#msg147614 date=1321491661]
    [quote author=brother_demian link=topic=12524.msg147522#msg147522 date=1321321026]
    if u cant say it to you father of confession try writing it down on a paper before confession and taking it with you, try reading what`s on the paper word for word if ur still struggling or you can`t give it to your F.O.C.
    and being ashamed or scared is just an emotion the devil uses to try to get us not to confess don`t you ever be scared of what your father of confession is going to say, if anything he will think greater of you because you have put ur eternal life before your pride

    PFM
    handing a piece of paper to your FoC is pointless. lol. that kill the whole point if confession. the point of confession is to feel humility for your sins. If you simply hand over a piece of paper, what does that show?

    Your statements are contradictory. Feeling too scared to confess IS a sign of pride. You're afraid of what the priest will think of you, and you're afraid your reputation will be ruined. And quite honestly, I think a priest's advice should be kinda 'harsh' on you. Being babied your whole life will get you nowhere.


    I disagree. If you feel like it's that bad that you can't say it out loud, then you're probably feeling enough shame to not want to do it again. If that's what it takes for it to come out, then that's what it takes. It's not babying.
    what if it's a repetitive sin?
  • JoshuaaJoshuaa

      Yes it is one point. Another is that we are purified once we are absolved from the sin.

      Church is a place of santcuary where you should feel safe to confess your sins. So the relationship with your priest is one where you know he is forgiving. Your goal is the absolution.
  • joegjoeg
    Think of it, you can either confess your sins now, in front of only your FOC and feel peace afterwards, or you will have your whole life's worth of sins revealed before every human being that has existed, exists and will exist. 

    One is a lot less embarrassing than the other.
  • mabsootamabsoota
    :D
    true!
    sort of sad and funny at the same time...
  • peter_saadpeter_saad
    [quote author=George_Mina_Awad link=topic=12524.msg147635#msg147635 date=1321502939]
    [quote author=peter_saad link=topic=12524.msg147614#msg147614 date=1321491661]
    [quote author=brother_demian link=topic=12524.msg147522#msg147522 date=1321321026]
    if u cant say it to you father of confession try writing it down on a paper before confession and taking it with you, try reading what`s on the paper word for word if ur still struggling or you can`t give it to your F.O.C.
    and being ashamed or scared is just an emotion the devil uses to try to get us not to confess don`t you ever be scared of what your father of confession is going to say, if anything he will think greater of you because you have put ur eternal life before your pride

    PFM
    handing a piece of paper to your FoC is pointless. lol. that kill the whole point if confession. the point of confession is to feel humility for your sins. If you simply hand over a piece of paper, what does that show?

    Your statements are contradictory. Feeling too scared to confess IS a sign of pride. You're afraid of what the priest will think of you, and you're afraid your reputation will be ruined. And quite honestly, I think a priest's advice should be kinda 'harsh' on you. Being babied your whole life will get you nowhere.


    I disagree. If you feel like it's that bad that you can't say it out loud, then you're probably feeling enough shame to not want to do it again. If that's what it takes for it to come out, then that's what it takes. It's not babying.
    Being embarrassed in front of someone (the priest) is different than how you feel when you're alone. You would never commit the sin when Abouna is watching you. It's normal to feel a great amount of shame, but I don't think that person will feel the same shame if he just hands the priest a piece of paper with his sins on it.

    I think, in order to stop that certain sin, is to truly repent and confess.
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