What if I cant fight it? What if I just submit into my desires and listen to the devil pushing me to do wrong? What if it has been a habit that is increasingly difficult to overcome?
I have been struggling for a very long time. I can neither push myself to confess it, nor push myself to overcome it. Now, I feel like a part of God that has been broken off.
What if, my faith used to be like steel (strong) before, but now I am losing faith in God by the day? What if I lose hope in myself and in God.
I used to love God whole-heartedly...with everything that I am. I had this desire to serve him and to become his all of the time. Then I became lukewarm, now I am plainly an evildoer. I had loved God with all of my heart and always felt the holy spirit in me. I felt the love of God work in my life and he plans everything in my life - even until now.
However... I cannot get rid of the LOVE of SIN I have that still lingers inside of me. No matter how sharp I am with myself, I still fall. I still love sin. How can I get rid of this? How can I ask for God's help with out thinking that God wont help me because I have sinned a lot against him? A little faith wouldn't hurt.
How can I return to God and become the pure child of his I once was? I am tired. I am tired of being fake. I am tired of trying to reach up to God's standards without feelings.
Now its lent time, I am tempted more than ever in my whole entire life combined (mind you, I am a teenager). I want to fight this sin. I want to get rid of it NOW.
I feel like I can crawl in a hole.
Comments
labored for salvation, no one who desires such things. Instead we prefer that which is present,
temporary and impermanent. We never even bring these eternal delights to mind. What
blindness! What diabolical deceit!
Woe is me! What torments are prepared for the punishment of sinners like me who live
carelessly. There is no one among us who fears and trembles. With empty words we honor
that which we are taught. We take pleasure in the passions of the flesh, for we are bound by
them as with iron chains, and there is no one who fights against them; but rather, we who are
bound rejoice.
O the all-ruinous wiles of the unclean serpent! How he has darkened the minds of all men, so
that our thoughts are perverted and we love ruin more than the good things to come.
Come, let us bend our hearts to contrition, and we will weep before the Lord day and night.
Come, let us remember that hour and how inevitable it is, and contritely will we shed tears.
Come, let us recall those inexpressible, indescribable delights, and make our hearts contrite.
Come, let us recall the terrible and awesome throne and the shame which awaits us when we
stand before it--and we will lament for ourselves.
Come, let us remember how the righteous will shine like the sun and the sinners will be like
the soot on burnt pots; and, having made our hearts contrite, let us be zealous in good
works.
Come, let us confirm ourselves in the fear of God, that we might be made worthy of eternal
bliss.
Come, let us fall down before God in contrition and simplicity of heart, for He is good and
kindhearted and saves those who repent.
Let us beg Him to bring us into His kingdom of ineffable bliss that has no end."
-A Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian
They say that God's mercy has no bounds, nothing can obstruct it, not even sin. His love for you...is endless.
Although this sin tears you apart from God, it will never destroy His infinite love for you.
The devil works overtime during the Holy Great Fast, but with Christ you shall conquer.
Stay strong.
P.S. Get K9 Web Protection and let your Father of Confession password it for you.
✞✞✞
A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.
So, this the man did, day after day.
For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved."
Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough."
That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"
The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push.
And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains.
When everything seems to go wrong . just P.U.S.H.!
When the job gets you down ... just P.U.S.H.!
When people don't react the way you think they should ... just P.U.S.H!
When your money is "gone" and the bills are due....just P.U.S.H!
When people just don't understand you, just P.U.S.H.
Keep Pushing. Dont Give Up :D
P= Pray
U= Until
S= Something
H= Happens
I understand where you are coming from. In order for you to hate your sin, you must understand the effect of your sin. You need to understand what the outcomes are of committing the sin.
1. Death
2. Slavery
3. Wasted time
4. Indulgence
5. Selfishness
6. Abusing yourself physically
7. Degrading the image of God
8. Objectifying others
......
I can go on but there is no point. Once you understand the weight of the sin, you first and foremost need to plan to seek spiritual guidance from your priest (FOC) who will definitely be a good companion in your battle. Next thing I would recommend would be first to get in touch with Christ on a more personal level. What does that mean? It means that you need to develop a personal relationship with God by involving Him more in your life. How? there are many ways. I recommend reading the book God and You: Person to Person by Fr. Anthony Conairius. It is a good short spiritual book that can help you involve God more in your life. The last thing I would like to add is that, if you truly wish to rid yourself of these thoughts; you have to be mindful of everything you do.
I recommend watching this video. In it, a monk discusses how important it is for us to be mindful of God at every moment in our lives. Try to take his examples and apply them in your life.
P U S H
A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.
So, this the man did, day after day.
For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved."
Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough."
That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"
The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push.
And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains.
When everything seems to go wrong . just P.U.S.H.!
When the job gets you down ... just P.U.S.H.!
When people don't react the way you think they should ... just P.U.S.H!
When your money is "gone" and the bills are due....just P.U.S.H!
When people just don't understand you, just P.U.S.H.
Keep Pushing. Dont Give Up :D
P= Pray
U= Until
S= Something
H= Happens
drilago99, I think this is the best thing I have read in a long time. Thank you :)
1) Know this: the first temptation is ALWAYS the hardest, then after that the entire road becomes smooth, and there is yet a very long time until you will see such a temptation.
2) Think of Christs sweetness... and the devils utter bitterness. Eternal life, or satans fiery pits.
3) Prayer is the answer to everything. There is nothing it cannot solve. Prayer and consistent mere repetition of TRUE prayer.
P.S. I used to struggle with the same sin, as i reached your mindset and finally got tired of this, and i needed to get out, and fast. But sadly, i wasnt able to learn from other peoples mistakes, and had to learn the hard way, but it wasnt pleseant whatsoever. Therefore, follow this and YOU WILL SUCCEED. Remeber, Christ and what he did for you.
Peace, there are 3 things that will make you stop.
1) Know this: the first temptation is ALWAYS the hardest, then after that the entire road becomes smooth, and there is yet a very long time until you will see such a temptation.
2) Think of Christs sweetness... and the devils utter bitterness. Eternal life, or satans fiery pits.
3) Prayer is the answer to everything. There is nothing it cannot solve. Prayer and consistent mere repetition of TRUE prayer.
P.S. I used to struggle with the same sin, as i reached your mindset and finally got tired of this, and i needed to get out, and fast. But sadly, i wasnt able to learn from other peoples mistakes, and had to learn the hard way, but it wasnt pleseant whatsoever. Therefore, follow this and YOU WILL SUCCEED. Remeber, Christ and what he did for you.
I agree with everything except 1. The first temptation is hard yes, but so is the temptations after that. The difference is that you get stronger with every temptation, but I am sorry to say that the road is never "smooth". It is a constant struggle.
✞TheGodChrist✞,
I LOVE St. Ephraim's prayer!
The story about P.U.S.H. really had a big affect on me....such an amazing story with a strong message :)
lol puberty seems like such a drag, but when you come to think about it, its a HUGE cross we all need to carry. Whatever tribulation you're in, remember to tell the tempter: "I'm the son of the King, though I seem like nothing to you, you can never defeat me! I'm a prince and in the end, my Father in Heaven will strike you down like a dog!" NEVER LET HIM WIN, YOU CAN DO THIS! NEVER GIVE UP HOPE IN STOPPING
Pray for me so that I can be purged from this sin also :)
Pray for my weakness,
Je Nai Nan
"So He said to them, 'This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.'"(Mark 9:29)
My prayers are for the remission of your sins Peace. I'm sure you will overcome them in time as you're still young, full of thoughts and energy. Teenagers are a little carefree and careless until the approach of being an adult and responsibilities that adults have.
I pray for God's forgiveness and mercy for you Peace and your peace. These things mean you make mistakes but really are to learn from them; for your edification. Sin is selfish and comes from the one truely alone; Satan.
I know where you are coming from exactly !! I have gone and still going through the same problem !! My advice is :
1. you are not alone
2. you have to know the consequences of continuing in sin - u become addicted, enslaved, lose peace, lose everything and lose your eternal life .. eternal death !!!!
3. You have to make a decision and take a stand to ' change ' and 'repent ' - repentance meaning not only feeling guilty - but turning and running away from sin -- saying no to sin
4. To do the above in point 3 --- you need to sit with yourself and God alone first, and pray and talk to him - he is a loving father waiting for you -- like he waited for the brodigal son and took him embraced him and celebrated and all heavens celebrated by one sinner that repents more than 99 righteous people that dont need repentance.
5.speak to your confession father.
6. You will need mega doses of Bible reading and prayer to fight off satan -- reading the word will clean you bit by bit and prayer will re-kindle the holy spirit.
7. satan will fight you more - so be ware
8. Be patient with yourself -- as a person lives in sin for long time -- also to live in purity will take some time -- if you fall .. get up again ..
9. pray that God rekindles the Holy Spirit again to make you hate Sin ... because its only the Holy Spirit that will make you hate sin
10. brother .. please go cbn.com -- amazing website -- go to club 700 ... spiritual life .. testimonies .. watch amazing life transformations of former criminals, murderers , porn stars, drug addicts, sex addicts .. etcccc how they have been renewed .. as the bible says 'renewing of your mind' and many have become christian evangelists and live to tell their amazing testimonies -- they are like 21 century Moses the black and Mary the Egyptian
11 .brother -- never lose hope --- this is satans worst attack
12. Regarding sexual sins -- go to youtube and search for "shelley Lubben " testimony .. she was a former prostitute and PORN STAR --- her amazing is mind boggling --- exposes the myths about that industry -- how its all fake and its all acting ... one sentence that struck me when sha said " WE HATE MEN " !!! now she is a Christian Evangelist --- if a porn star can become a christian evangelist -- then there is HOPE for all of us.
13. Many testimonies are of MEN as well ... the amazing thing is that statistics is that Men porn stars that committed suicide are MORE than women !!!! there are absolutely amazing men testimonies !!!
14. Myself and my wife --- God gave us the chance to give 6 presentations about 'pornogrohy' in in 6 Churches to the youth meeting --- I am talking to you from researching for a year, redaing spiritual and psychological books about sex addictions and of course the BIBLE ...
15. SEXUAL SINS is the demon of this age --
16. Brother .. you can do it .. through Christ .. you can do anything through Christ as the Bible says BUT you must give HIM the chance for HIS HOLY SPIRIT to start working in you.
please keep in touch. I am happy to talk in private .. if you like.
GBU brother and Goid loves you so muchhhhhhhhhhhh
MEERO
This will answer many of your questions.
Pray for me.
But a great deal of our sin is caused by the sinful habits we have allowed to develop. We don't need to be tempted externally, we just abandon ourselves to sin by our own will.
There are a very few books by non-Orthodox I can recommend and one is the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. It must not be taken as representing Orthodoxy, but it gives a useful insight into how we are tempted in a variety of ways and the strategems which the enemy uses.
You can read it here if you want to try a chapter...
http://members.fortunecity.com/phantom1/books2/c._s._lewis_-_the_screwtape_letters.htm
watch this small clip about " Why does God allow us to be trialled in our lives and what are the kinds of trials and temtations ? " ITS GREAT !! Has English subtitles