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Every year the same: not celebrating Birthdays
Hey all!
My birthday was 31 October. Every year I wish to celebrate it, and then I am trying to make some plans, but they always fail and i dont know why. I haven't celebrated my b-day for about 3 years or more!! And I am now.. {don't laugh} : 19 years. :(
It's always like this: too busy with school (this is my first year in college), my dad doesn't encourage me to plan it, nobody helps me to organisate it, money problems, not everyone has got time... it's every year the same. And I feel dissappointent when years of my life just pass away and I dont celebrate it with my friends or anyone. Yes, i got presents from some people, including my lovely dad and he get me a pie and we made a little birthday at home with my dad only. But presents are not the most important thing for me. I just want to celebrate it. All my friends get amazing birthday parties, and I never go to one of them and I don't even celebrate it for myself. Everyone is having fun expect me. I am feeling excluded. Especially i want to celebrate it, because this is a opportunity to having some fun. I haven't do anything fun, like re7laat, trips, shopping, going out with friends, for years!! And always it;s school, father, etc. *sigh*. (and today he said: mat3amaleha fi shahr mares / march, hatkoon el gaw a7la min kida!! / Celebrate it in march, it will be a better weather. That;s not the same feelings as celebrating it at your birhtday!) Maybe i am sad because I always used to get big birhtday parties in my childhood.
Further, he even withhold me to do anything spiritually whether he wants very much that i become the child of Jesus and I know he loves me a lot. But even going to youthmeethings is a big problem with him. Overprotection and he is very afraid that I won't pass if I didnt study enough. he is always saying: SHOW me first that you get good marks, then i will let u enjoy. But every time, i get good marks in the first term, then it isnt enough for him and then I get one bad mark and he refuses to let me go anywhere. Arghhhhhh!
I know that I must be happy with Jesus and that the most important thing is that i get better every year. But even that doesn't help. I'm not getting better (well, maybe in some points, but not spiritually) and I am repeating the same sins every year over and again.
Is it wrong that this whole issue annoys me? Am I being ungrateful? Actually I thank Jesus for everything he gave me, health, a home, a car, clothes, a carefull lovely dad, a lovely mother, a couple of good friends, an own big sleeping room, etc. But still I don't like the idea that every year I don't celebrate my b-day. This is awkward. Any advices?
El mohem, sallooly plz.
Thanks in advance and GB
My birthday was 31 October. Every year I wish to celebrate it, and then I am trying to make some plans, but they always fail and i dont know why. I haven't celebrated my b-day for about 3 years or more!! And I am now.. {don't laugh} : 19 years. :(
It's always like this: too busy with school (this is my first year in college), my dad doesn't encourage me to plan it, nobody helps me to organisate it, money problems, not everyone has got time... it's every year the same. And I feel dissappointent when years of my life just pass away and I dont celebrate it with my friends or anyone. Yes, i got presents from some people, including my lovely dad and he get me a pie and we made a little birthday at home with my dad only. But presents are not the most important thing for me. I just want to celebrate it. All my friends get amazing birthday parties, and I never go to one of them and I don't even celebrate it for myself. Everyone is having fun expect me. I am feeling excluded. Especially i want to celebrate it, because this is a opportunity to having some fun. I haven't do anything fun, like re7laat, trips, shopping, going out with friends, for years!! And always it;s school, father, etc. *sigh*. (and today he said: mat3amaleha fi shahr mares / march, hatkoon el gaw a7la min kida!! / Celebrate it in march, it will be a better weather. That;s not the same feelings as celebrating it at your birhtday!) Maybe i am sad because I always used to get big birhtday parties in my childhood.
Further, he even withhold me to do anything spiritually whether he wants very much that i become the child of Jesus and I know he loves me a lot. But even going to youthmeethings is a big problem with him. Overprotection and he is very afraid that I won't pass if I didnt study enough. he is always saying: SHOW me first that you get good marks, then i will let u enjoy. But every time, i get good marks in the first term, then it isnt enough for him and then I get one bad mark and he refuses to let me go anywhere. Arghhhhhh!
I know that I must be happy with Jesus and that the most important thing is that i get better every year. But even that doesn't help. I'm not getting better (well, maybe in some points, but not spiritually) and I am repeating the same sins every year over and again.
Is it wrong that this whole issue annoys me? Am I being ungrateful? Actually I thank Jesus for everything he gave me, health, a home, a car, clothes, a carefull lovely dad, a lovely mother, a couple of good friends, an own big sleeping room, etc. But still I don't like the idea that every year I don't celebrate my b-day. This is awkward. Any advices?
El mohem, sallooly plz.
Thanks in advance and GB
Comments
I've always felt like that too, up until about 4 years ago. (I'm 19 now) My parents never really acknowledged my birthday, and I never really got gifts. You'll eventually grow out of it. But since you're in college now, your birthday is just going to be like any other day of the year. Someone actually had to remind me of my birthday this year! lol.
but in the long run, and you might not understand now, it's actually good for you because it teaches you to not whine about the small things in life. (I know it sounds harsh, but trust me) It only makes you stronger. My dad never really acknowledged my good grades or many accomplishments that I made throughout my life. That's just the Egyptian way. :p
And sorry to say, but the way the American culture raises their kids is ridiculous. They throw their kids a party for getting a B in a class. It's just a little overkill, in my opinion.
Just know that this will make you stronger in the future. You'll learn to become more independent and humble, and to not accept all the attention and praise that is given to you. Hope that helped. Pray for me.
We should be thanking God for giving us another year to live. We should be happy and thankful, not whining about. Forigve me if I sound mean, but there are more important things in life to worry about other than not celebrating your birthday
Happy Thanksgiving, and may God open all our eyes to not take things for granted, and to think thank Him for everyday he has given us.
like u r not really being acknowledged as someone with preferences and opinions.
this is especially hard when u r young and finding that u have separate opinions from yr relatives.
it is a normal phase u r going through, and without support from friends (eg. without them being interested in celebrating yr birthday) u can't stand up to yr dad by yrself and do yr own thing.
i would suggest that every time u can't do something u want, u make a mental note of what u would do. this way u start to form a clearer identity for yrself in yr head.
like i used to argue with my parents, and later other people about what to wear. and i would say to myself 'this person wants me to wear this smart thing but i would like to wear that long skirt and scruffy top. i am happy i am a scruffy person and when i feel scruffy, i can wear a smart suit comfortably coz i know i am scruffy inside!'
then pray to God and tell Him 'really, i would love to do this, but my dad (or whoever) is making me do that. please help me to do what he wants willingly and without feeling bitter, so that i may come closer to you through this suffering'.
may God give u peace and help u to pass through this difficult time.
yr sister who thinks u r really cool,
mabsoota :)
But since you're in college now, your birthday is just going to be like any other day of the year.
Definitely true. Growing old stinks :'(
(i reckon i am older than u...)
why don't u like it?
Also, think about the people in Egypt and all around the world. They can't even find some bread to feed their kids. I'm sure celebrating birthdays is the last thing on their list.
We should be thanking God for giving us another year to live. We should be happy and thankful, not whining about. Forigve me if I sound mean, but there are more important things in life to worry about other than not celebrating your birthday
Happy Thanksgiving, and may God open all our eyes to not take things for granted, and to think thank Him for everyday he has given us.
Peter!
I agree with everything you said above! And I am feeling shy for being ungrateful!
ActuallY i am having a good life, so i should stop whining.
sounds really tough.
like u r not really being acknowledged as someone with preferences and opinions.
this is especially hard when u r young and finding that u have separate opinions from yr relatives.
it is a normal phase u r going through, and without support from friends (eg. without them being interested in celebrating yr birthday) u can't stand up to yr dad by yrself and do yr own thing.
i would suggest that every time u can't do something u want, u make a mental note of what u would do. this way u start to form a clearer identity for yrself in yr head.
like i used to argue with my parents, and later other people about what to wear. and i would say to myself 'this person wants me to wear this smart thing but i would like to wear that long skirt and scruffy top. i am happy i am a scruffy person and when i feel scruffy, i can wear a smart suit comfortably coz i know i am scruffy inside!'
then pray to God and tell Him 'really, i would love to do this, but my dad (or whoever) is making me do that. please help me to do what he wants willingly and without feeling bitter, so that i may come closer to you through this suffering'.
may God give u peace and help u to pass through this difficult time.
yr sister who thinks u r really cool,
mabsoota :)
THank you mabsoota ;)
Actually my dad and my friends acknowledge my birthday, and they want me to celebrate it, but it just not happens. I don't know.. maybe God doesn't want it now?
no, it's nice!
(i reckon i am older than u...)
why don't u like it?
Yeah, you're definitely older than me lol (I'm not actually old). I just wish it could stay that way, you know?
I've never really been a birthday person-- It's just not my thing.
This year for my birthday, I got a phone call from my mom.
I've never really been a birthday person-- It's just not my thing.
Ah, that's a good advantage
if they say they want to do it but it never happens, it means they like the idea of doing it but don't really want to make the effort.
it might mean they can't really be bothered enough.
and that is confusing coz their actions say one thing but their words say another.
i had some people in my life who were always saying one thing and then doing the other and it really messed me up until i learnt to accept that they would like to be good friends, but actually they weren't.
once i started treating them like buddies and not close friends then i had much lower expectations of them, and i didn't mind so much when they treated me in a superficial and less caring way.
basically only God loves u so much to never let u down. and from time to time He sends wonderful people to you to remind you of His love. but u can't rely on yr friends and family, just be glad that sometimes they are kind to u, and have mercy on them when they don't really make an effort to show that they care.
look out for the people in your life who do show love, learn to appreciate a beautiful flower growing in the corner of a yard, a smile from a shy neighbour or the joyful laugh of a kid at church.
and i will pray for u and please pray for me too
:)
May the Lord be with you and God Bless you x
Thanks I lovejesus. Hmm
sorry I posted in the wrong topic
Rabena M3aky we kol sana wenty tayeba we bkheir we 7esek fel donya
Happy birthday Marmar :) don't worry about celebrating birthdays in the usual sense. Every year that you are on earth is a blessing from God and another chance to renew your relationship with God, so just enjoy the fact that Jesus is celebrating your birthday with you. As for your over protective parents well as egyptians we are all born with a pair of those ;) one day you will find a job and a loving and caring husband and all will change. Until then try your best to enjoy life, we only live once, Jesus loves YOU.
Rabena M3aky we kol sana wenty tayeba we bkheir we 7esek fel donya
Hahaha, thank you the booss :) You may say happy birthday tany at 31/10 when I hopefully will become a little bit more mature. just kidding ;) .
I think it has also to do with the fact that I'm too sensitive (and maybe with my lack of selfconfidence).
Indeed, I feel that I'm truly blessed and I don't deserve God's amazing love for me.
Thanks for your kind words, merci awi.
Rabina m3ak we yefara7 2albek kaman we kaman. Plz, remember me in your prayers.
GBU
Celebrate your baptism day. At least that is what I choose to do.
Yeah, I thought of that as well. Mine is 27/06. Awesome idea!
I never really celebrate my birthday because my parents make such a big fuss out of it and I don't like it. That actually made me completely desensitized to the entire "celebration" concept. I don't know what to do.
That means that they love you! But I understand you although. Hmmm, tell your parents that you don't like it?
And if your parents didn't make a big fuss out of it, would u like to celebrate it with your friends?
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=12603.msg150871#msg150871 date=1327119990]
I never really celebrate my birthday because my parents make such a big fuss out of it and I don't like it. That actually made me completely desensitized to the entire "celebration" concept. I don't know what to do.
That means that they love you! But I understand you although. Hmmm, tell your parents that you don't like it?
And if your parents didn't make a big fuss out of it, would u like to celebrate it with your friends?
Yes, if I had friends who I hang out with.
[quote author=+Marmar+ link=topic=12603.msg150881#msg150881 date=1327141957]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=12603.msg150871#msg150871 date=1327119990]
I never really celebrate my birthday because my parents make such a big fuss out of it and I don't like it. That actually made me completely desensitized to the entire "celebration" concept. I don't know what to do.
That means that they love you! But I understand you although. Hmmm, tell your parents that you don't like it?
And if your parents didn't make a big fuss out of it, would u like to celebrate it with your friends?
Yes, if I had friends who I hang out with.
I feel you bro. Don't worry.. at the right time everyting will come and God will do the best for you really!! :)
God bless you!!
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=12603.msg150885#msg150885 date=1327152494]
[quote author=+Marmar+ link=topic=12603.msg150881#msg150881 date=1327141957]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=12603.msg150871#msg150871 date=1327119990]
I never really celebrate my birthday because my parents make such a big fuss out of it and I don't like it. That actually made me completely desensitized to the entire "celebration" concept. I don't know what to do.
That means that they love you! But I understand you although. Hmmm, tell your parents that you don't like it?
And if your parents didn't make a big fuss out of it, would u like to celebrate it with your friends?
Yes, if I had friends who I hang out with.
I feel you bro. Don't worry.. at the right time everyting will come and God will do the best for you really!! :)
God bless you!!
Thank you, I will be awaiting that time, but for now, all I have is "trololololol-lololol-lololol-lol-lolol", but all in its right time.
I think for a normal youth, it would be okay if you feel bad about not celebrating your birthdays for a couple of years. Our birthdays is one of the few events that people feel very special. Actually, I usually feel that way too. I can't celebrate my birthday because of financial constraints but after a while I got used to it. I can't blame my parents for not having enough budget for a celebration. I think you'll get used to it too. We can celebrate it in a special way we can. I think being with your wonderful family and friends will be great. ---jean
Organise it for a weekend afternoon/evening so that most people can be able to come. Then use facebook event creator, make a private group inviting your friends well in advance, and to make the invitation more personal, check via text messaging that your friends have seen your invitation on facebook and are able to come. If the majority are for some reason unable to make it for a common reason, ask their suggestions for when they are free instead and change the plan. The key here is to send the invitation at least a month in advance before people plan out their social calendar so they don't have an excuse.
Once you've done this, you will find that you become closer with your friends and some of your friends may connect, so that the next time you can have more exciting plans. But I just don't see how you can get from no celebration to a full on party in one go.
Hope this helps