i know this is usually a guy issue but i'm a girl and i've been having trouble with "touching myself," the "m" word. i don't know if i'm addicted to it or not, i hope not. i feel disgusting and horrible and yet it's hard not to do it. been very lonely and i fall into it more often. advice and prayers please. -Lhmoyd
Comments
I feel a spirit of bitterness in some people
If this is how it is going to be I say close down the forum there are no more of Gods people in the world you all want the world to be on my shoulders
Because that is your plot to destroy me
People need to feel the love to be set free
A church without a youth is a church without a future
Where is Gods aid in our studies
It was not Gods will to choose us to preach in His name otherwise we would not struggle in our studies and work and we would have a good reputation in the world
Noone feels like helping anymore because they are tired of serving a traditional church that does not make any sense they don't know if God wants them to prosper and be happy in this life or not
So is that it have you chosen rejection to be part of your nature? And praised it ?
Is that what we just have to accept as Gods will ?
It seems some were predestined who can be drawn to that and others were not
I am the fool but you are the wise
The thing is they go to church and they laugh and have a good time they do not work or study but when someone is in need they do not help
I'm going to take your post as God's proof to me of His creation of woman as a blessed HELPER of His first creation, man, in His Image. We've had repeated similarly desperate posts by young Coptic men who seek a spiritual remedy to these demonic sexual temptations. I've had an ignored urge to try to offer my experiences and views to these guys. This is a difficult subject for us to address, especially because our world centered and popularity seeking modern Western popes, bishops and priests have all kept us in spiritual darkness by seemingly choosing to ignore the spiritual centered study and teaching on these real, dangerous issues to modern young Coptic men, women and families by keeping their heads and words in the clouds, or buried in the sand. You, as a faithful, humble, honest God seeking (presumably Coptic) young woman have HELPED me come out of my neglect of the guys' leading spiritual struggle on this battle front.
[quote author=Lhmoyd link=topic=13817.msg160830#msg160830 date=1351756730]
i know this is usually a guy issue but i'm a girl and i've been having trouble with "touching myself," the "m" word. i don't know if i'm addicted to it or not, i hope not. i feel disgusting and horrible and yet it's hard not to do it. been very lonely and i fall into it more often. advice and prayers please. -Lhmoyd
You are also blessed because I am not now able to put a full blown, unqualified, Irish diatribe together. My unproven, unqualified offer to help you and the guys are based on two points.
1. A few years ago Abuna Matta el Miskeen published, in English, a small paper on the subject of sexual temptations. I'm sure that you, or a helpful Coptic internet geek, could find an online reference to this paper. Hopefully it hasn't been ecumenized, feminized or freudianized by our bold, misguided modern Coptic academics. As I recall, the crux of Fr. Matta's counsel (which seemed to me to be a valid result of his unstated personal experiences) is that we are tempted to these sinful acts by our senses (principally by sight [which is our strongest and most complex sense], which we now experience in gross excess [soft or hard porn or dress styles {music and fiction, also} all around us. I believe that Fr. Matta's conclusion was that we can only avoid these sins by absolutely not looking, listening, feeling, smelling at the very first instant of such an experience. I think I have heard of this being the traditional Orthodox habitual personal act of instantly cutting off the head of the snake at his first presentation to or recognition by us. Your concern for addiction shows how these instants of inappropriate openness, unguardedness, pleasure, relief, etc. quickly can become seemingly irresistible. We seem to be especially vulnerable in unguarded sleep and dreams. Also when under the relaxing effects of booze, drugs, partying and worldly companions (even lax Coptic "clergy, family and friends"). Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Ephesians 6:11.
More recently I have received seemingly further enlightenment (despite the seeming dearth of Orthodox theological and intellectual interest [or my lack of research ability {blessing}] in this area) from the studies of a seemingly very blessed. zealous, sincere and unapologetic, "died in the wool King James only" Protestant defender of Biblical Patriarchy, "Professor" Dean Gotcher. His life's work in defense of Biblical Patriarchy is contained on his website, http://www.authorityresearch.com. Dean's Bible based studies on "dopamine emancipation" at http://www.authorityresearch.com/2008-07 Dopamine.htm is the only seemingly credible in depth study and explanation of this "irresistible" path to multitudes of sins that I am aware of. I see Dean's dopamine study as an intellectual, Bible faith based foundation for and companion to Fr. Matta's counsels on overcoming sexual temptations.
As we all know, these are troubling, deep, dark and powerful tactics of our demonic enemies. It is relevant, that I seem to recall that immediately preceding the whole Catholic pedophile priest expose, there was an intellectual Catholic freudian discussion of the medical and psychological benefits of "m." Do you think there could be a rational cause and effect relationship?
God help you learn to eventually use your female created HELPER nature (Genesis 2: 18-25) to behave reverently and train the younger women to love and be submissive to their husbands as St. Paul prescribed at Titus 2: 3-5.
As an aside, I think that I should add that it seems to me that God created our dopamine phenomena to enable us to perform the extraordinary acts of unselfish love that are witnessed by such heros of love as John the Baptist, St. Stephen, all of the martyred Apostles, St. George, St. Philopater Mercurios, St. Simeon the Stylite, etc. Did this human feature have a role in Jesus Christ's sacrifices?
God bless you. Thank you for the HELP.
Forgiveness is what heals a problem. Sorry mikeforjesus but some of us cannot be here all the time and some might not feel they can help. So forgive them please.
The main theme of what mikeforjesus and irishpilgrim are saying is love. This is the state we want to be in with God. Psycology or the things in this world don't have salvation. This salvation is about God's love for us, Him keeping us together in the direction of going back to Him.
Psycology is fair and can be helpfull, but people argue over what is fair, so the compremise is not what God's love is about.
You will get married one day Lhmoyd so try not to worried too much or be anxious.
make good use of yr time (prayer, Bible study, church activities, helping people, working etc.)
ask God for His help and repent.
avoid all sensual pictures and put restrictions on yr computer if this is what causes you to sin.
may God guide u.
it is good to speak to yr priest about it. if u can't bear to speak to a man about it, take advice from an older spiritual auntie first.
make good use of yr time (prayer, Bible study, church activities, helping people, working etc.)
ask God for His help and repent.
avoid all sensual pictures and put restrictions on yr computer if this is what causes you to sin.
may God guide u.
mabsoota always gives good advice
Follow this!
even if you talk to another woman about it, you'd still have to confess it. It's just one of many awkward things.
If I hardly discuss sexual topics with people from my gender (unless health related), what would make me utter any of it to a member of the opposite gender?
Anything that will set you free or give you peace
God bless you
Perhaps you can confess to a nun or through email
Anything that will set you free or give you peace
God bless you
Ultimately, one must confess to a priest, although the two options you suggested are good for preliminary advice.
If it offers any comfort, remember that the early Christians confessed their sins in front of the whole congregation, so at least confession to a priest, who is obliged to maintain confidentiality, is not so bad.
say 'i have problems ignoring my bodily desires'.
Thank you mabsoota. It is something that a women should be answering.
disciple?!?! is that it?
it is good to speak to yr priest about it. if u can't bear to speak to a man about it, take advice from an older spiritual auntie first.
make good use of yr time (prayer, Bible study, church activities, helping people, working etc.)
ask God for His help and repent.
avoid all sensual pictures and put restrictions on yr computer if this is what causes you to sin.
may God guide u.
Very wise advice
Lhmoyd = Lord have mercy on your... dservant??
disciple?!?! is that it?
I think it's probably "Lord have mercy on your daughter"
[quote author=sodr2 link=topic=13817.msg161052#msg161052 date=1352505517]
Lhmoyd = Lord have mercy on your... dservant??
disciple?!?! is that it?
I think it's probably "Lord have mercy on your daughter"
it caught my attention cause i always make abbreviations like that
[quote author=qawe link=topic=13817.msg161055#msg161055 date=1352543139]
[quote author=sodr2 link=topic=13817.msg161052#msg161052 date=1352505517]
Lhmoyd = Lord have mercy on your... dservant??
disciple?!?! is that it?
I think it's probably "Lord have mercy on your daughter"
it caught my attention cause i always make abbreviations like that
So what does sodr2 stand for?
"WE truly love God and keep His commandments if we restrain ourselves from our pleasures. For he who still abandons himself to unlawful desires certainly does not love God, since he contradicts Him in his intentions... Therefore, he loves God truly, whose mind is not conquered by consent to evil delight. For the more one takes pleasure in lower things, the more he is separated from heavenly love." ~ St. John Chrysostom
*Like*
Fill your time, do something new maybe. Start your activities with the Bible. Don't make a big deal out of it and let God teach you something new from this. Regardless of how yesterday went, remember that God gave you a new one today and it's a fresh start. Don't over-think. Don't dwell. Just keep moving.
prayers
i understand that it is socially accepted in our world today and so many people do it. but i guess to make it to Gods world you must be a strong person who doesn't do it.
i know life gets lonely and times are hard and one seeks comfort in such things to make them feel better, but at what cost?
God is full of mercy and he is most understanding. seek love and comfort from him, he will give you the most REAL comfort and love.
and also speak to your confession father, he is your telephone line to God and as i said before, God is merciful.
God bless you sister.
What I said about, "Just stop masturbating, it's not that hard"... well it really is that hard, and it took me A LOT to change. Especially since I had to commit a sin. I was out of control.
Proverbs: I no longer think it is easy. While I was saying it was easy, I was having the exact same problem, but even worse. I was doing it maybe five times daily sometimes, sometimes even more. It sometimes got so bad to the point of dozens of times daily. I thought that was 'normal'. I have to delete my previous misleading posts. I was being a hypocrite, everyone who read those posts please forgive me.
Now you know why Lettuce is so poor.
Edit: And you know what, lettuce can go die alone in a hole. I'm going to stop eating and see how long I can last, I'll only drink water.
Don't!
You need to get a grip and stop the self pity. Self pity is destructive and may be you're going through a depression phase or something. The wrong thing to do is to follow these thoughts and let them feed on your sanity.
Don't!
You need to get a grip and stop the self pity. Self pity is destructive and may be you're going through a depression phase or something. The wrong thing to do is to follow these thoughts and let them feed on your sanity.
I need to lose weight anyways, hunger is good for your health if you don't die from it. I'll probably stop before I die, so don't worry. What is self pity? Pity on oneself? I usually do have depression spurs (or sadness spurs as I like to call them). I just don't know what to do anymore. There's not much left in my life I think. It will make no difference whether I am alive or not. But then again, I'm a student of academia, I might discover something revolutionary in my future, I might make a difference, but so far, my life is null. It doesn't feel go to have no friends and to not be able to talk to people.
basically God is stronger than you and stronger than the evil one who wants to pull you down.
start moving up one step at a time, making the most of each prayer and each good deed to focus on your creator who is making you new.
hey everyone, thanks for the advice. please pray for me.
[quote author=proverbs link=topic=13817.msg162853#msg162853 date=1358594480]
hey, im a girl tackling the same problem also. it is so hard, i understand completely! its not as easy as what people think. i personally tracked WHY i do so and i found out that it is just false pleasure like drugs or alcohol. it might feel right when you are doing it, but really bad after.. just like a hangover or the aftermath of drugs, it leaves you wanting it more and more and gets you deeper and deeper into trying to stop.
i understand that it is socially accepted in our world today and so many people do it. but i guess to make it to Gods world you must be a strong person who doesn't do it.
i know life gets lonely and times are hard and one seeks comfort in such things to make them feel better, but at what cost?
God is full of mercy and he is most understanding. seek love and comfort from him, he will give you the most REAL comfort and love.
and also speak to your confession father, he is your telephone line to God and as i said before, God is merciful.
God bless you sister.
Lhmoyd, proverbs and others who have sought help here for these addictive sexual sins,
I'm just getting around to providing this deep spiritual warfare advice from Theophan the Recluse, which I have been trying to dig out for some time. I recall that Matta el Meskeen suggested a similar spiritual tactic in his article, in English with a title like: sexual immorality. As I recall, Fr. Matta stressed the importance of the first step: Don't let the seduction start, don't look, immediately cut off the serpent's head, etc. St. Theophan's study is more thorough, understanding and long term.
God Bless all of you. Pray for me.