I've been very far from God for the last couple years. Now I'm in the process of returning. I've been listening to H.H sermons on youtube, they're Great! I feel that I should be rough on myself and punish myself. so that I'll never ever do same mistake. H.H also talks about the idea of not being rough on yourself when repenting.
I've briefly talked with my FOC and explained to him that there're things I did which is very difficult for me to confess, since then Abouna encouraging me to confess.
But I feel that I should truly repent, punish myself before confessing. But my question is how can I punish myself? how can I be rough on myself from spiritual perspective.? especially in the 50 days because Metanas is not allowed,
appreciate any input.
Comments
Only do such things (eg metanias) with the guidance of your confession father. It is extremely dangerous to decide for yourself, and you miss out on the benefits of his experience.
There's no need to punish yourself in order to repent/confess. You just need to, in the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, "Go and sin no more".
God bless.
may be I didn't use right terminology. H.H talks about rebuking yourself when repenting in this video ( at 18:00) through prostration? I want more information about "rebuking self" how can I do to rebuke myself?
can I do prostrations during 50 days?
You confessed, it is forgiven, and you should come closer to God to see His glory and despise sin and its filth.
Metonias are a great spiritual exercise in any other time but the Holy 50 days. Discuss it with your spiritual father.
Do not be discouraged if he disagrees. If you are new to the spiritual life, you need to warm up with light exercises, otherwise you will pull a muscle.
All "punishments" go through your FOC!
Abouna Athansius Iskander is very clear in his book "Practical Spirituality", punishing yourself leads to a very dangerous sin, absolving yourself. Which will lead you to feel guiltless and may take you away from confession.
As a general rule, all thoughts, all "punishments" all things you want to do should go through your FOC.
God Bless :)
The only punishment for sin is death. Do not do it please.
You confessed, it is forgiven, and you should come closer to God to see His glory and despise sin and its filth.
Metonias are a great spiritual exercise in any other time but the Holy 50 days. Discuss it with your spiritual father.
Do not be discouraged if he disagrees. If you are new to the spiritual life, you need to warm up with light exercises, otherwise you will pull a muscle.
Guys,
You are all on different wavelengths.
The OP is talking about rebuking himself, or chastising himself, NOT punishing himself.
He is using the word "Punish" interchangeably with "rebuke" or "chastisement" (which is what he clearly means!).
What he is suggesting is very noble and good. There's nothing wrong with rebuking yourself over your sins; even the Church says "e7zany ya nafsi 3alla khatayaki... "
The PRICE for sin is death - the wages, product or result of SIN is death. When you repent, you are returning from a state of death, to one springing into Life again. The Church asks that you do NOT forget your past even, but use it to remind yourself of your weakness as a PROTECTION for the next time Satan draws you into temptation or far from Christ.
Whilst heaven is rejoicing in the return of anyone who comes back to life; falling into the same sin again is not wise - and so such reminders are important. The importance of remembering your sins even stems from the O.T:
God told the people of Israel to eat the bread of the passover with "BITTER HERBS" to remind them of their slavery to the Egyptians. This means the following for you (OR ANY ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN):
1) God did not want the Israelites to forget that without HIM they were slaves .
2) It would have been in the interest of the Israelites to always remember their situation before the Lord saved them.
3) They returned often back into sin and worse sin after they were liberated from Egypt and the Egyptians. Hence, its easier to forget your past, than look at it and use your previous situation as a source of strength to ensure that you always depend on the Lord for your salvation and piety, not your own good intentions.
Remembering your sins does not entail being depressed. How? Your sins are forgiven; there's nothing to be depressed about. The Israelites remembing that they were slaves in the Land of Egypt, should make them humble. Remembering that they were slaves does not automatically make them slaves, but they shouldn't forget so easily what life is like without the Hand of the Lord in their lives, nor what their situation is like or COULD be like without the Lord in your lives.