i born and raised in egypt as orthodox then moved to the states, and i know a girl who born and raised in egypt as protestant and moved to the states as well, we met in the states, we really like each other, i can say we "love" each other but the faith issue is preventing us from revealing our feelings to each other, specially we both are strongly tied to our churches.1- any thoughts how this can work out?
2- do u or someone u know have done this before? and if so, how life after marriage worked out?
3- let's say she agreed to get baptized, and we got married (because of course she has to get baptized to be able to marry in the orthodox church), do u think she should completely change and go regularly to the orthodox church or its ok she keep going to her church?
4- what about the kids, i really want them to be raised orthodox.
5- any other comments
THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE for any response
Comments
You may get so many replies with the message "orthodox all the way or no relationship". I know of a couple where the guy is originally Protestant and the lady's family is Catholic...both were born in Egypt. They are together and they only go to the Orthodox Church now as a family. In fact, they are ones of the most active church members.
I also know another couple where one of them's parents is a minister in a different church. They alternate between going to the Orthodox Church and the other church.
The thing is, there is no clear cut "right" and "wrong" in these scenarios. There are some fundamental beliefs (that jesus is the son of God and he gave up his life for us). Some important elements of the belief system are very different between the orthodox church and the Protestant church. As a person of faith, how strong is your faith?
I came across this verse recently:
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)
God looks at the heart. What are your intentions? How do you see things working out for you two as a family? Where would the kids go? They are all group decisions. You can't make them alone and ignore your spouse.
You can't change someone for the aim of marriage and guarantee this will last. Say she does agree to join the Orthodox Church, as time goes by, she might notice that she is not happy with the decision and decide to go back to her childhood church. She might be swayed by her feelings for you and feelings are fleeting. Once the romance dampens down, she may not feel as strongly willing to be part of the Orthodox Church as she may have been doing so "to make you happy". And God should not be about making another human happy.
Bear in mind that as her family is Protestant, she won't simply cut herself off the Protestant church (if that's what you're hoping for). She would still join her family some days. The church where you spend your childhood has a special place in your heart and it brings a special kind of comfort to be back there.
It takes a lot to get used to a new church (imagine you are moving to a different city and a different Orthodox Church, that can be hard enough. So how much more challenging will it be to move to a church where everything is done completely different?)
Bottom line is, you won't know until you discuss this clearly. You may need to then take a break from each other for a while to give each other a chance to think logically without being swayed by emotions.
good messages.
going to different churches as a married couple is very difficult. may God guide you.