Hello. I am new here to the forum and the deen. I was raised by both Egyptian parents in an islamic household in the usa. When I turned 16 I got married to a muslim but he is not egyptian. I have been married for 5 years now and have two small children between my husband and I. For a very long time I knew what I was practicing wasn't the truth in my heart so I stopped completely and battled my husband until I stopped praying and my hijab came off. I lost faith in everything. A little less than a month ago I met a friend who opened my eyes to the true path and I prayed with a few simple words he taught me and as he prayed for me I felt a feeling I never felt before and now I know what is truth. I am here because I no longer have ties with this friend due to certain circumstances, it was a very temporary thing but I am thankful for his help. I want to get deeper and understand more and get closer to God. I have trouble doing so because in my heart I know what I want but I am still hiding it from my husband and my family because it was like a big enough sadma for them that I was leaving islam. I don't know how they would react to this. I need some support and expansion of knowledge and faith but I don't know where to start. I wish to go to a knesa soon but i stay at home with my children and my oldest is old enough to say we went to church. I can leave her with my mother and go one day but I don't know when to go what to say and who to talk to. Ive passed by on a Sunday and its so beautiful but i just couldn't go in because i was with a family member or my husband. All I know is if i don't water this plant it will die. Thank you for your time and advice in advance.
Comments
May God bless you during this beautiful time in your life! May He also give you strength in front of your family and make you a light to all those around you! Be sure that He has put you on this path and He will complete it for you. Our Lord Jesus Christ has told us in the Bible that He is "the Way the Truth and the Life" (John 14:6). Have no doubt that He will be there for you in your times of trouble and fear. The devil will fight you a lot in order that you forget about this entirely, and continue living as you have been accustomed to. But do not be shaken, because our Lord Jesus is much stronger and if you trust in Him, He will make you a rock that cannot be moved and will bless you like he blessed all the saints. Finally, may God give you strength, peace and comfort in this tough but beautiful time so that you may know Him all the rest of your life.