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I really don't know what to do.

WithJesusWeThrive
edited December 2015 in Personal Issues
I am a 19 year old female living in the UK. 
I really like this boy I have met in the church who is 23 years old. I have known him for just over a year as he has moved to the UK from Egypt, we talk a lot and text a lot too. I have recently moved to university and he texts me saying me misses me and he wishes that we could see each other again like old times. We get on really well. 
I miss him a lot and I like him but not in a lustful way, I never have any thoughts like that about him. 

I don't know what to do and I was wondering if anyone had advice. In our church we have never been educated on relationships or even friendships with boys so I don't know what is and isn't allowed. 

Thank you for your time. 

Comments

  • ItalianCopticItalianCoptic
    Feel free to message me for any advice.
  • Eleison
    edited December 2015
    Bless your heart! May God lead you to a sound and wise decision.

    If I may suggest the following...

    1) Ask yourself / ask him the following questions:
    a) What does he want? If you do not have lust for him, does he have lust for you?
    b) Does this boy love God with all his heart? Does it show? Is he humble? (meaning he doesn't think he's all that)
    c) Is the intention here marriage? If so, do not rush. It takes time to make sure you and he are ready emotionally (meaning you know what love is), spiritually (meaning you incorporate Jesus Christ into your relationship), and financially.

    2) Pray about it. Ask God to bless the relationship if He sees that it is good for both of you, and ask Him to end the relationship if He sees that it is not.

    3) Remember these things: (these are very very important)
    a) Touching, even if not sexual, (like... cuddling) stirs up feelings of infatuation, and you end up thinking you love each other, but really you only love the feeling you get from this activity
    b) Some people only want to be in a relationship because they feel lonely or because they love getting attention from people. This is not real love. Make sure you and he are not like this.

    God bless you and be with you. Don't hesitate to message me if you want to!
    Peter
  • mtawadmtawad
    In all honesty, 
    I really think you should talk about this with your father of confession. He will be able to guide and give you the wisdom of his experiences from other sons and daughters in confession. He knows you best and what is in your  heart so trust that his advice is from God. 

    God be with you
  • WithJesusWeThrive
    edited January 2016
    I am not close to my FoC, I'm also a bit embarassed to talk to him, so I'm not really sure how to go about it all.
  • mtawadmtawad
    edited January 2016
    I think this is a good opportunity for you to become close with your father of confession, he is your guide and your direct personal connection with God as God has made him a responsible for you and gives him the wisdom to guide you. Never be embarrassed they will not judge you, they are in no place to because they are sinners as well and have their own father of confessions too :) if you are still not comfortable, try to get to know another Abouna where you get comfortable talking to him and then ask him to be your father of confession.
    You must feel open and fully honest in order to receive the benefit of a father of confession. God has made the dedicated to serve you and bring you closer to God :)
    May God guide you
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