Hi All
Can I ask your prayers Im really in deep trouble I cant feel God Prescence I hope I am not condemned, but there are constant blasphemous thoughts in my mind and I dont know whats happening, but its like I feel like I am hating and hostile and going against God its like something inside of me wants to go and rebel, even though I really dont want to, sometimes when Im trying to combat these thoughts I make blasphemous mistakes out of my mouth or in my mind. please pray for my healing and repentance through the intercessions of St Mary, Pope Kyrillos and the saints
Comments
God be with you! Feel free to seek pastoral guidance from a spiritual father. We all have wars to fight and all these wars lead to our perfection through victory. This will only lead you in a great path when you come out victorious.
Here are some Q&A on the subject with Bishop Youssef:
https://www.suscopts.org/q&a/index.php?qid=596
https://www.suscopts.org/q&a/index.php?qid=642
https://www.suscopts.org/q&a/index.php?qid=705
May God strengthen you and overpower you with His presence!
I’d advise you to get into contact with your father of confession. What you are experiencing is spiritual warfare. I’d suggest you drown out these thoughts with constant prayer and take the intercession and examples from the numerous saints who were faced with mental warfare (Satan showing their family in issues after they became monks, etc (however you should still care for your family, you aren’t a monk!)). Know that God will not put you in an issue unless he knows you can handle it; Job lost his children, servants, property, health, etc in less than a week, but he remained in prayer. Likewise, as Satan nukes you with these thoughts, you should remain in prayer and the Lord will intervene when he knows he should. Even the Theotokos faced issues on a daily basis! Does that mean God forsake the Theotokos? Obviously not.
By the way; God will not hold you accountable for these thoughts which are thrown into your mind, but you still have to repent. Also, try rooting out the source of these thoughts if that is in your hand.
Some more advice: read some of the Pope Shenouda books on Diabolical Warfare, etc. I’ll put in a link later.
@PaulIbrahim
I’ve never seen someone call spiritual warfare superstitions. I’m assuming you would say our Desert Fathers also had superstitions when they were attacked by the devil in numerous ways. Satan has a million tricks up his sleeve. Just because you didn’t experience one of those tricks, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Also, forgive me if that was a bit harsh but I also struggled (and still struggle to some extent) with spiritual warfare.
Forgive me if I offended you.
As one who experienced such thoughts as well as OCD, ADHD, GAD and MDD, I realized that secretive and overall distressing behavior in dealing with such issues whether they are warfare or spiritual disease is not very helpful and seemingly more detrimental. I am expressing by opinion through experience and reading church fathers on these topics, desert fathers specifically. The overall emphasis I would like to make is that thoughts are meaningless as we have been given power over them and that we should be an open community that cares for eachother as an actual mystical and loving body of Christ.