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i need your advice

egyptionorthobeautegyptionorthobeaut
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
hi everyone, i have a friend who is sooo depressed about her self and has absolutly NO self confidence or self esteem. she thinks she is fat, and ugly and just blah. and she is always reminding her self and everyone else that. and i don't know what to do. she also lives with her mom in a trailer and they barely have any food to eat and barely any money to spend but for bills if enough. And she has a problem with both her parents. she doesn't know where to go or what to do. she has become meaner and she has def. changed since we met last year. she also has this crazy idea that she is crazy. i think she has a big problem that isn't that easy to solve but to pray for her and i am. she has been going to shrinks since she was 4. they have not helped her. i don't know what to do. but our friendship is on the line because of her family problems that are changing her. i don't want our friendship to end and i REALLY want to help her but i don't have ANY idea what to do!!!! ??? :'(

Comments

  • Unknown
    Hi egyptionorthobeaut, I wish this can help you, if I was in this position, I would probably start a donation box, or even help raise money, just pray for her, and read the Bible to her, explain that life without God, is not a real life, because he is the creation of all things, and without him there is nothing possible or created, I hope you can learn to help her more in the future, maybe even, take her to the park or walk with her and talk to her privately with God in the middle, and he will help you if your self-esteem is on high!

    Forever,
    Coptic Servent
  • egyptionorthobeautegyptionorthobeaut
    thank you for your advice coptic servent. i will do that. but there is something you should know. her family is real christian but because of her problem (self esteem issues) she like totally gave up on god. i mean she beleives in God but she just doesn't like any one telling her anything religius like that because she had a friend like that and it made her really made because her friend would always preach to her. so she will get mad and take it the wrong way. and she kind of weird because she thinks that even when she is taking compliments from people she thinks they are just saying that to make her feel better.
  • Unknown
    pray for her and God is watching over her. Maybe all of this is happeneing for a reason because maybe one day she will be all better. Just try to sit her down as well and talk her problem through and tell her that you are her bf and DONT let her leave until she understands that you will always be there for her and that she can always tell you everything. Dont think about ur friendship until she knows that you are really friends and that to you, she is a wonderful person. Pray for her and by all means I will pray as well, but everytime you are at church, think of her and pray deeply. Talk to Abouna about it and put a paper on the alter of prayer for this friend. Be very clear and explain all your feelings. Ask her why she says these things about herself and make sure that you guys can find alone to talk and talk and talk and make sure that all the time she needs you, she knwos your there for her. Just be sure not to get mad at her easily because that they make her feel worse. Im not trying to be rude or offensive, but don't worry about yourself and deal with why she things about all these things and says that she is fat and ugly and blah. After she realizes that you are one of her good friends, get together with her outside of school or church. Go to the mall, play games, watch TV, talk about things, and just hang out for the heck of it. Talk about anything and once in a while you might want to check with abouna about what you wanna do.

    I hope i helped
  • egyptionorthobeautegyptionorthobeaut
    yeah, that is a really good idea CopticChica21 , thank you and everyone else. i am def. praying for her and putting a paper for her on the alter for abouna to pray for her is a GREAT idea. thank you everybody.

    and if anyone has any other suggestions or comments please write. thank you :)
  • Cherry88Cherry88
    Hi egyptianorthobeaut!
    I had a similar experience involving som1 whose father passed away who also had very low self-esteem and wen u compliment her on somthing, like u say, she somehow takes it the wrong way. I tried 2 talk 2 her and comfort her and stuff until it reached a point where it was beginning 2 affect me...like, bcos she was feeling down i was somehow obligated to feel the same way...which isn't good for ne1s self-esteem!
    So yeah...i think u shud try 2 help her as much as u can until it begins 2 affect u...at that point i think mayb u shud perhaps get som1 else involved.
  • mikeforjesusmikeforjesus
    but isnt it good to be sad when others are sad... many people I think commit suicide because noone wanted to get involved..
    But maybe you are right..

    If you feel her pain then you can pray for her properly I think...
  • Unknown
    in this situation, mikeforjesus, i think that you have to try to cheer the person up because if yyou are sad with them it might let them know that what they are doing is ok. i think that in some cases being sad with someone works, but not always... i think that you should report it... like our teacher was teliing us that its better they be alive than dead, even if they are mad at you for a little bit. just tell her parents or abouna and i think that it;s ok... ok... thats what i think
  • Unknown
    [quote author=Cherry88 link=board=10;threadid=3220;start=0#msg47945 date=1139897433]
    Hi egyptianorthobeaut!
    I had a similar experience involving som1 whose father passed away who also had very low self-esteem and wen u compliment her on somthing, like u say, she somehow takes it the wrong way. I tried 2 talk 2 her and comfort her and stuff until it reached a point where it was beginning 2 affect me...like, bcos she was feeling down i was somehow obligated to feel the same way...which isn't good for ne1s self-esteem!
    So yeah...i think u shud try 2 help her as much as u can until it begins 2 affect u...at that point i think mayb u shud perhaps get som1 else involved.


    Cherry88, I would really recommend you to help her build her self-esteem up again, maybe you could play a game with her, or try to cheer her up, by sending her email or emotions that have a smile like this :'( ----> :D! Make her feel that her dad is someplace very safe, and will be happy up there more than here, the world is cruel, but paradise is very CALM, SAFE, and PLEASANT!

    Forever,
    Coptic Servent
  • Cherry88Cherry88
    Thanks coptic servent :)...i don't really see her very often nemore...
    the last time i did tho she seemed more talkative and happy which is good :D

    I still think my crying next 2 her, (i don't mean that literally) wouldn't have helped the stituation much...i mean this was ages ago but like u know u don't want 2 b mean but at the same time u don't want 2 be miserable...u know wat i mean...? Like, wen ur around happy people u can't help but be happy?

    Everyone has bad days, (trust me, i've had my fair share of them) but i've noticed that it's the happy positive ppl that make me feel better and that put things into perspective for me...like i'd be angry or upset about something and they'd say something completely random...like it could b a joke or something and i'd completely forget wat i was upset about...u know?

    Wen u've tried ur best 2 help som1 and instead of making them feel happy they've made u feel lousy...i think there's really not much u personally can do about it...
  • Unknown
    I totally agree Cherry88, and your welcome, I'm glad that she feels better about the situation, and whenever I'm sad, my dad cheers me up, my mom tells me the positive, and what I can do to avoid the situation next time, and my brother gives me advice, so I feel that there time with me COUNTS, because they know how to cheer me up, what to say, and when to say it!

    Forever,
    Coptic Servent
  • egyptionorthobeautegyptionorthobeaut
    well, a few days ago, my friend and i stopped being friends in a matter of seconds. :'( .
  • Unknown
    OH MY LORD, why, what happened? PM me about this if you don't wnat to put it on here or just you dont have to tell me at all.
  • elshatarung7arbelshatarung7arb
    Pray to God the Most High....For He is our guidness...our shelter... our protection...for we say O Lord , preserve us under the shadow of Your wings.....therefore..If a mother fogets her child..the Lord will not forget the child....and the Lord will help those who are in need.....and blessed are the poor...for their richness is in heaven. Therefore, Just Pray for Her and Fast to show God how much this Friend means to You
  • mickey the smartmickey the smart
    THIS IS A POINTLESS POST DO NOT READ THIS UN LESS YOU ARE egyptianorthobeaut. egyptianorthobeaut i like howbe you ask everything that you have trouble but before you ask us i would like you to pray to god because i think god can help more then all of your replies i think if you pray and still have trouble you should ask us

    SORRY BUT I DONT HAVE AN ANSWER TO THE QUESTION
  • nene0587nene0587
    .
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