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family issues

PopeKyrillosPopeKyrillos
edited July 2006 in Personal Issues
Ok like have you ever had the problem where like your parents are always treating your older siblings like nicer, and they are always comparing you to them, and they never want your advice on anything like you can't say a word only your siblings can. Like i'm seriously getting mad. my mom always talks about me on the phone like sometimes they way she talks to him, i feel that my dad is dead. She talks to him about everything i do bad. and like if i do something good she never says that to him. all i hear all day are complaints. it's driving me crazy. Any thoughts?

PK

Comments

  • whywhy
    i hate to say his..but sometimes your family can be your cross... just becasue they are your family doesnt mean that are not able to be your cross..

    secondly..your mum might be doing you a favour...maybe is she talks about you in a good way..you will (sorry for the word) be up yourself..or get proud of your accomplishemnts and in that way she will be giving you your praise..and of course we always want our reward to be up in heaven...and not down here on earth...

    thirdly...

    you can talk to your mum about it...its simple..just tell her what you feel..

    you can also talk to your FOC about this...
  • spr418spr418
    look dude..this is coming from a mom's mouth..she said look up to your older sibling and see what they do good and try to be like them..maybe without telling your mom she could notice and things can always get better.

    GBU
    sandra
  • Christ4LifeChrist4Life
    About your family being your cross- that is more possible than you can possibly imagine. It ranges from all sorts of things, from fights between moms to dads, parents to siblings, and you won't believe this one, parents not liking certain priests. Just be patient, fervent in prayer and slow in anger. Remember that no matter what your mom says about you that the king of kings died so you can live. Any love more than that? Remember that your name is written on the hand of the God of the heavens, is that not enough? We cannot expect people to be perfect, they're bound to mess up some time. Sometimes however, it may be a bit too hard. Its ok though, just keep in mind how much Christ loves you.
  • whywhy
    Yes i agree with you 100% and i think family crosses can be one of the biggest crosses people can come along..becasue no matter how hard you try..it will always be there and attached to you..

    i just have one question..what was that about parents not liking a certain priest..what does that have to do with the way a parent treats YOU..

    but as i said..family can be your cross..and the best thing to do is carry it!! not carve it to the shape you want..lol i made that up...i like it ;)
  • Christ4LifeChrist4Life

    i just have one question..what was that about parents not liking a certain priest..what does that have to do with the way a parent treats YOU..

    Because that priest can be your father of confession. However that is not relevant here, its just that something like that came up recently and I was just showing to what extent your family can be your cross.
  • whywhy
    Yes..ok..so as i said..family is or cross..but of course we are not saying that it is yopur cross..but if you refer to my first post..there were many other options..talking to yur mum..empathise and see what she could mean..maybe she is doing you a favour..
  • basketballbasketball
    wat u need to do is talk to ur mom about this and how u feel cuz ur family is really important.and tell her how u feel just dont yell at ur mom or say something that is not right and try to think on wat u want.and pray that the lord will help you.pray to the lord and put the situation in his hands and everything will be okay.

    mary
  • Unknown
    This saying that I'm about to tell you about, can relect your life in all sorts of ways, "Friends come and go, but in the end Family is all you have!" you don't have to show your mother that she's treating your older sibling better than you, all I got to say is leave it in God's hands, he will handle things for you, he is the problem-solver, he helps us gather solutions for our problems, just trust God, and give it sometime, because when you depend on something sometimes too hard, in the end you give up Hope, don't do that, be patient, have Faith, and have HOPE, because that can really help you! GOD BLESS, and May God Be With you all!

    Forever,
    Coptic Servent
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    That whole issue about the older siblings being treated better....well, coming from an older sibling of two younger ones, that older sibling went through a lot while you were young. That older sibling was probably responsible for you when they were younger and took the rap for you. Trust me, it's not all fame and glory being the eldest. To be quite honest with you, it stinks sometimes. However, I CAN tell you that when your mom tells you to take your older sibling(s) as an example, she's doing it because she wants you to be the best. Your siblings may not be perfect, but your mom would never say that to you, she'll continue to tell about how your siblings are the best thing on earth because she wants you to take them as an example, role-model, etc, etc, and become a better person.

    Sleepy
  • Saint MahraeelSaint Mahraeel
    It's def true that ur family can be ur cross....but maybe ur mom doesnt realize it....i think that if its bothering you, you should sit down with her and just tell her how you feel. Pray about it, and pray right before you speak to her. Don't hold anything inside.. (I'm a middle child i no all about it lol)
  • hany58hany58
    Hey Lol, how is it going with you, I hope that you are feeling better. Lol you must sit down with your mother and discuss everything with her but try your best to be calm, tell her that you are annoyed coz so and so. Tell her everything that is inside you without any hiding, but remember to pray hard before you go for a talk with your mother. A good idea also is to talk to your FOC and see what he will say, but I am definitely sure that your mother doesn't mean to hurt or annoy you because parents love their sons and daughters much more than them-selves so don't ever get that feeling that "my mum doesn't like me" coz that's not true lol. Go and have a talk with her and I'm sure that everything will be sorted.

    thanks

    hany
  • JeSuS_LuVs_UJeSuS_LuVs_U
    my parents used to do the sameee exact thing !!! i hated it too but just show them that u r mature and old enough to deal with your own things.. believe it or not they r doing this for ur benefit .. it works trust me ... good luck just pray aboput things to get betetr dont worry :)
  • [Deleted User]
    well, i can definitely relate to all this as my parents did the same thing to me and my brother; i am the eldest. It is an incredibly frustrating thing to feel that in your parents' eyes all you can do is misbehave and mess up. while this was happening to me i was young and very temperamental (not anymore thank God) and i absolutely hated it. The fact is, i realize now that although it felt bad, they were saying all those to me and about me not because they were mad but because they were afraid. They were so worried about me that when i made a mistake, their form of prevention and consolation was, out of anxiety, to criticize. I can not relate to their position but i do not think that is right. As i did, you have to talk to your parents. If they try to avoid the topic, push more. tell them how you feel. also talk to you FOC and God.
    this will cheer you up! ;D
    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm 91&version=50
  • marenamarena
    it always happen to me and i feel my parents hate me and love my older brother even tho he cause them all the trouble u would think off and he gets rewarded for that after he get punished and me when i want something it have to take forever to get it so last week i thought the same thing but i figured out what i want not like exemple u know u cant have it caz my parents cant afforded but i took it to much.but i ask abona and he said no i shouldnt think that way so u too they love u but the devil always make u think that way
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    [quote author=EpNomos EnTaio link=board=10;threadid=4127;start=0#msg57859 date=1153377123]
    well, i can definitely relate to all this as my parents did the same thing to me and my brother; i am the eldest. It is an incredibly frustrating thing to feel that in your parents' eyes all you can do is misbehave and mess up. while this was happening to me i was young and very temperamental (not anymore thank God) and i absolutely hated it.


    I know the feeling, I'm barely getting over it so I'm well aware of what these things feel like however, like it was said, once you show your parents that you've matured and can handle yourself in a way that they approve of, or more correctly speaking, in a way that won't cause them any worry, they'll soon be boasting about you to everyone they know. You might not know it, but I'd be willing to bet that your parents brag about you to their friends and what not because of how proud they are of you, you just don't know it.

    Sleepy
  • maryfaragmaryfarag
    The hardest thing in life is when you feel like your FAMILY acts nice to your face but behind your back they have major issues with you. At 31, this still happens to me. I have been at a real loss with this but my conclusion is be civil to them because they are still your parents and deep down inside they know they are wrong but refuse to admit it. :) I think they will always behave in this way and have issues no matter what and will always make you feel like you are in the wrong because you are the youngest and should be like your siblings. Families are a cross in itself but i believe that GOD does this to bring him closer to Him and become stronger in your faith. He said to us Be of good cheer i have overcome the world and asks the heavy burdened to come to him so that He can lift the load. God bless you all
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