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Signs
ahlan ya madams wa ostaz's,
im abit worried about my cousin (male), he's been acting really weird lately, like getting really close and his interest in girls is slowly declining, we go out alot but these days he's not all that keeen, he's really touchy as in hugs alot and gives you little personal distance. you know i would love him no matter what, but im not sure what to do
so should i:
a) asking him straight out are you gay?
b) tell his parents and let them deal with it (hopefully he comes out alive)
c) try and line him up with some of my girlfriends
d)recommend counselling
e) or just leave it, its not really my business (although im certain it is, i want the best for him)
any comments and feedback is appreciated but again i ask you to refrain from criticism if possible
salam
im abit worried about my cousin (male), he's been acting really weird lately, like getting really close and his interest in girls is slowly declining, we go out alot but these days he's not all that keeen, he's really touchy as in hugs alot and gives you little personal distance. you know i would love him no matter what, but im not sure what to do
so should i:
a) asking him straight out are you gay?
b) tell his parents and let them deal with it (hopefully he comes out alive)
c) try and line him up with some of my girlfriends
d)recommend counselling
e) or just leave it, its not really my business (although im certain it is, i want the best for him)
any comments and feedback is appreciated but again i ask you to refrain from criticism if possible
salam
Comments
i don't think you should tell his parents just yet, and don't "line him up with some of your girlfriends" lol, and u can't just leave him. if he doesn't listen to you, then go to his foc or any close abouna to you and him and tell him about the situation and see what he tells you...
finally, if he doesn't listen to abouna, then u tell him that you will tell his parents and see how he reacts to this...
lastly, tell his parents...
You shouldnt ask him straight out if he is gay because if its not true, he may fel offended, and if its true, you may destroy your relationship together.
You should just tell his father of confession
Good Luck
Pray for me
God Bless and Pray for me and my weakness
so what if he's keeping his distance from girls i don't have a girlfriend and when i am around girls i don't really like getting hugs or whatever so that i don't get any bad thoughts cause you never know when the devil might tempt you or whatever maybe he has a reason or is going through a rough time and isn't acting himself. so i don't think you should jump to conclusions because i don't see whats wrong with what he's doing unless he comes out and says he's gay.
indeed so what? so maybe i shouldnt care at all,he's one of my closest counsins, and he's like my brother, im worried about the change in his behaviour is that ok?
man, i only wanna see the best for him, he deserves a nice lady (in all facets), he's a good looking man with an incredible personality, i tell u what, i think id greive everyday that he hasnt experienced those special moments with the ladies (during marruage of course)
and im not talking about getting hugs or whatever, all (actually most) of the girls at my church cry on his shoulder, he's a ladies man, and now he is ......i dont know
i think i'll talk with him casually tonight and tell you guys how i go
thanks for the responses
hey btw, are you a deacon? :D i'm a deacon too!! just became one few weeks ago!! i'm kinda happy and excited to be one. :)
God bless
and pray for me
you have misunderstood me, when i said he was a ladies man, i meant he got along with girls NOT that he dated every girl he meets, not even i do that
i dont even agree with the whole boyfriend/girlfriend concept, its a waste of time and only plays with your emotions
two of my friends dated during high school for about 3-4yrs and every one assumed that they made a good couple, but the following yr we left school, they broke up, THEREFORE dont bother dating during school its a waste, haram yani, because things change, interests change and people change, and with my friends they drifted into different directions, but here's the problem, the guy was bruised emotionally and has isolated himself from all his friends, he was quite distant, it was hard for him to deal with but with prayers the pain is easing
Hailemikael, girls arent your weakness, its the fall into sin
we talked about how things were going in life generally, like how's work life etc............ and he was satisfied but was having problems with his emplyer(woman) lately, but he didnt sound too upset about that
we then started talking about girls, and he kind of changed the topic, we ended up talking about cars instead
and then i told him about how one our counsins might be going to egypt to find a husband and we talked abit about that and how much of a mess she'll be getting herself into if she brings a guy from egypt here,
anyways, he went quiet and said sam ive been thinking about something, its been on my mind for awhile, he goes on to say i think something is wrong with me, and then he said and the only reason why im telling you is because your like my brother and we're pretty open with each other and here comes the BLOW, he says he's starting to find guys more appealing than girls OMG OMG OMG, i then started talking about the bible and marriage and love etc
BUT what more can i do??? doesnt that say he's considering homosexuality
start talking about having kids, and becoming a dad... get those feelings refreshed in him
ask him what made him think this way...
tell him that god made us a man and a woman, not a man and a man...
tell him what would he be like if he grew up in egypt, would he have those feelings?
tell him he won't be able to take communion...
have him start thinking about the consiquences of this decision and show him that its a dead end, and he'll end up in hell and will loose the eternal kingdom...
tell him that the devil is causing him to think this way, and he has to fight the devil
tell him that it would be better for him to live as a monk and never get married to a woman instead of marrying a man...
keep talking to him alot, and try to get him as close as possible to u so he can be open more...
God Bless and Pray for me and my weakness
hope your friend will be back to normal. just pray to God for him always and advise him like AabaBola said....
Good luck!!
OK, here's a brief summary of the conversation:
we talked about how things were going in life generally, like how's work life etc............ and he was satisfied but was having problems with his emplyer(woman) lately, but he didnt sound too upset about that
we then started talking about girls, and he kind of changed the topic, we ended up talking about cars instead
and then i told him about how one our counsins might be going to egypt to find a husband and we talked abit about that and how much of a mess she'll be getting herself into if she brings a guy from egypt here,
anyways, he went quiet and said sam ive been thinking about something, its been on my mind for awhile, he goes on to say i think something is wrong with me, and then he said and the only reason why im telling you is because your like my brother and we're pretty open with each other and here comes the BLOW, he says he's starting to find guys more appealing than girls OMG OMG OMG, i then started talking about the bible and marriage and love etc
BUT what more can i do??? doesnt that say he's considering homosexuality
I am sorry, I thought you were a girl!
I am soooo sorry, I deleted the reply already! I am sorry, see..... i came out of exams and my brain was fried!
i aint gonna let my cuz go down like that, we got a family gathering tomorrow, so ill see if i can talk to him then
bentBABAyasooa, i have no idea what your sorry for, if its for thinking im a girl all is forgiven, if it was insults then your lucky i didnt see it
btw congrats Hailemikael on becoming a deacon
bentBABAyasooa, i have no idea what your sorry for, if its for thinking im a girl all is forgiven, if it was insults then your lucky i didnt see it
It was an assumtion I made, I apologize, and just like I said... I came out of exams and my brain was on a vacation for a couple of days, and It is going back today to prepare for tomorrow.
Pray for me,
if he tells u thats what u should say but be easy
let us know how that family gathering go...
btw congrats Hailemikael on becoming a deacon
thank you saviour lives in me! i tell u i'm so glad. it's a lot of hard work.
God bless
It was an assumtion I made, I apologize, and just like I said...
tis ok my dear, all is forgiven
[quote author=bentBABAyasooa` link=board=10;threadid=4736;start=0#msg64687 date=1165761738]
I came out of exams and my brain was on a vacation for a couple of days, and It is going back today to prepare for tomorrow.
Pray for me,
yeah i know the feeling, exams tend to do that to you
i had a really good and lengthy chat with my cousin at the family gathering and, i dont think he was all that serious about the conversion, he was going through a phase and that the women in his life were giving him a hard time and that kinda brought him down because he started questioning his future (marriage) BUT he realises that what he was thinking was wrong and has sought confession from his foc and knows the consequences if such actions was purused and he really highlighted how he didnt want to disappoint his family or embarrass them
so voila, thanks guys and gals for all your help ;)
Anyway Rabena maak bro, always keep the Lord in front of you
Savior it looks like the concept of homosexuality surrounds you alot ( i saw your thread on the lesbian girl that you like)
Anyway Rabena maak bro, always keep the Lord in front of you
ah yes, i remember that thread too, didnt last very long thankx to some complaints to the moderator but never mind.
i met another girl, she's really nice and guess WAT? she's straight lol, the lesbian chick was starting to annoy me, she only thinks of her self >:(
thanks dave bro ;) god bless you
PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAY :o
may god be with u both and all.
pray for me too.
LOL! WOW! ummm people need to chill with the whole "gay" thing... not because somebody jokes around like that means his gay... I joke around... I hug guys... hell I kiss them on the cheek sometimes... I act "gay" LOL..... I even had a convo. with my cuz about losing interest in girls... what people cant take jokes? chill people... chill!
lol r u sure ur not (gay)?????? kiddin bro,
i know wat u mean, even sitting on another gals lap gets ppl going wild with theories ??? but i also think it cant all be fun n games, u need be respectful of urself
a lot of guys act gay because they think it is funny, just ask him if he is alright
i personally think u should NOT ask him if he is gay because u r goinjg to hurt him
2-----dont show him girls
hope i helped, pray for me
EgY
I would go with
e) just leave it, its not really your business (although im certain it is, i want the best for him) u could as him if he was gay, but unless ur the kind of person he tells his secrets too, or a guy , i dont think u should.
P.S not taken a interest in girls doesnt mean ur gay, just trying to play nice and cool