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Should I propose to her if she is only 18
Hi all
I know I talked about this subject alot but I just gotta a question here:
Basically there is a girl in my church, she is one of my best friends and she is only 18. I really really like her and I feel that she is the person that I dream to marry, I talked with my parents and abouna and they all agree and say that she is a great person for me, but I don't have any idea about how she feels towards me. I had a talk with my dad and he told me that we should propose to her parents and tell them that we will wait for her until she finishes her studies, but it is just like (talking about her thingi for reservation). Now I'm very very very confused about whether this decission is right or not, I know for sure that her parents love me, but still the girl's opinion is the most important thing. So do you guys/girls think that I should go with my dad's idea even though she is only 18?? or should i wait until she gets a bit older??? please tell me what you think because it worries me so much and I really really can't take a decission.
Thanks
Baladoos
I know I talked about this subject alot but I just gotta a question here:
Basically there is a girl in my church, she is one of my best friends and she is only 18. I really really like her and I feel that she is the person that I dream to marry, I talked with my parents and abouna and they all agree and say that she is a great person for me, but I don't have any idea about how she feels towards me. I had a talk with my dad and he told me that we should propose to her parents and tell them that we will wait for her until she finishes her studies, but it is just like (talking about her thingi for reservation). Now I'm very very very confused about whether this decission is right or not, I know for sure that her parents love me, but still the girl's opinion is the most important thing. So do you guys/girls think that I should go with my dad's idea even though she is only 18?? or should i wait until she gets a bit older??? please tell me what you think because it worries me so much and I really really can't take a decission.
Thanks
Baladoos
Comments
[move] GO FOR IT [/move]
[move] GO FOR IT [/move]
[move] GO FOR IT [/move]
[move] GO FOR IT [/move]
[move] GO FOR IT [/move]
Personally, i wouldnt do it.. if she is 18 and still studying then the issue of marriage shouldnt be something thats continually on her mind as she is young to marry.. what happens if u go tell her that u want to maryy her in a few yrs wen she gets older and then you found out that she wasnt the right person for u etc etc. so i reckon just w8 without bringing anything up.. then in a couple of years if you still want to marry her go for it but if u met another person etc etc. then there will b no problems bcoz the whole tym she din no.. so just stay as friends for now and w8 for it..thts just my opinion.. good luck
+FROG+
Hay Baladoos,
Personally, i wouldnt do it.. if she is 18 and still studying then the issue of marriage shouldnt be something thats continually on her mind as she is young to marry.. what happens if u go tell her that u want to maryy her in a few yrs wen she gets older and then you found out that she wasnt the right person for u etc etc. so i reckon just w8 without bringing anything up.. then in a couple of years if you still want to marry her go for it but if u met another person etc etc. then there will b no problems bcoz the whole tym she din no.. so just stay as friends for now and w8 for it..thts just my opinion.. good luck
+FROG+
FROG is right. i would wait but then ask her later on. u might meet someone else that ull fall in love with even more...who knows?
anyway chances are shell probably answer more positivley than negatively if u ask her later on. thats if u kno what i mean....
u might meet someone else that ull fall in love with even more...who knows?
Yeah that is a true statement, you might meet and love someone else...............!!!
me personaly, i would wait... here is my train of thought on this:
abouna tadros yacoub malaty said that the right age for guys to get married is 26 and up (i don't know how old are you, but i'm guessing ur not there yet)
now, in my opinion, the correct age difference between the guy and the girl should be between 4 to 5 years.
Following the 26yr as the OK age, this would put the girl at an age of 21-22 yrs old.
This leaves you with 3 to 4 yrs to wait since she is only 18...
The reason why i think a 4 to 5 yr difference between the couple is important is because the females gets older and more mature quicker than the males (u can look up the reasons behind this online if u want). With this difference, as the couple grow old together, they will seem to be equal in age. But, if a couple is married in the same age range, you will see that the man is more healthy than the woman by the age of ~60 and he can do more than what the woman will be able to handle which might cause problems...
hope this helps...
thanks
The reason why i think a 4 to 5 yr difference between the couple is important is because the females gets older and more mature quicker than the males (u can look up the reasons behind this online if u want). With this difference, as the couple grow old together, they will seem to be equal in age. But, if a couple is married in the same age range, you will see that the man is more healthy than the woman by the age of ~60 and he can do more than what the woman will be able to handle which might cause problems...
:P
Did you know that statistics show that the percentage of male death in heart attacks are more than the death of females that die from a heart attack!
Because, When a guy gets upset, ofcourse he is not going to erobot demago and o3od yesawat, he is going to keep the saddness inside of him, 'till he gets a heart attack and die! :P, However, Women express their feelings more than men!
This is a nice Poem wirtten by a husband to wife....
Nice Poems written by husband to wife
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn't it rain on you?
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*
Roses are red, Violets are blue
monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
not in cage but laughing at you.
So baladoos, any guy out there thinking about marriage! Think twice!
:P
hahahahahahah
pray for me
Balados, I have one more thing to add to all that but I don't want to scare you, I just want to warn you. If she is still 18 and you are going to wait for her until she finishes all he studies, so you are looking for at least 4 or 5 more years, and of course your are going to engage her if you are going to propose right now. I don't think 4 or 5 years of engagement is good at all. It is just way too much time. And talking about girls she might get all excited about the whole engagement thing and getting married and having a family, and her feelings might change after a while, she is only 18, she is still growing, (biologically she is still changing), her feelings might go towards somebody else after she got engaged to you. And not all girls are the same, sorry girls no offense, I am a girl by the way. Same thing could happen to you, you might love somebody else, I think everybody else agreed on that point.
Engagement period shouldn't be as long as 5 years or as short as 3 months. Waiting for a couple more years wouldn't hurt either of you, and time goes by fast, you won't feel.
SAVE MONEY BECAUSE YOU WILL NEED THAT IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED :).
On this same website, tasbeha.org, if you haven't already done that, check this: click on the "Media" tab at the top of the page, go to sermons, then go to bishops, and click on H.G. Bishop Paula, and he has only one file, Family Convention, and there are 5 files in it, the 1st one is the Engagement Period, really nice and really important, listen to it carefully. The rest of them are good ones but he just skims the engagement issue in them, he talks mainly about marriage in them. I met bishop Paula in person, and I believe God sent those words on his mouth to me to comfort me when I was going through a hard time. Listen to his sermons and pray and you will find the answer to your question.
God bless you and be with you.
Pray for me Plz
i think the best answer will be hers, that'a a decision for 2 ppl to make u and her .
it's good thing to ask ur parents and hers but u need to know if she loves u or not cause if u both love each other you will do any thing together even if you have to wait 4 years engage
.....
Best of luck man.
Let us know the good news
einsha'allh it'll work out since u both r good friends
give her a few more years but dont wait to long or another guy might take her lol ;)
Rabena Ma3ak and dont rush just yet try to enjoy ur single life as well hahah
I will personally wait for another year (by that time she would have completed 19 and finished off her 2nd year of uni) and then ask her about her opinion of getting engaged LATER whenever she is ready, if she says No, then.....well, khalas that's it, but at least i would have known her opinion and it will definitely stop my stress and help me in moving forward with my life,
Thanks to every single person who helped me with my topic, you guys are gr8888888888 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Just wait, pray, and leave the rest to God. There's no rush. She's not going to get abducted by aliens anytime soon or disappear into a far off land even if she wants too... (believe me, I thought I was going to go off and live in Montreal next year, 99.99999% chance it's not going to happen) , so there's no need to run down the aisle with her.
God bless,
Katherine
It's not healthy to make yourself so vulnerable to what another person does or says.. you shouldnt even do that when youre engaged!
A person's personality changes & with that personality altered, ideas and views on everything change too.. Your personality sort of calms down and becomes more stable between the ages of 23-25. So even you're not there yet ! You have to put this engagement thing on hold for now and shape yourself into the person you want to be. If you have any bad habits or sins that you can't let go of now's the time to do it because once you hit 25 it will be SO much harder to break these habbits. It will also help you get your mind off her.. & I'm not going to even start with her age. She's still trying to figure out who she is ! She is not yet mature or experienced enough to make a decision about her life partner ! & Even if she thinks she knows what she wants and makes that kind of decision.. she will most likely change her mind at a later stage.
baladoos what you're doing is deffinetly NOTT healthy. What if God didn't make her for you or you for her.. what if there's someone else for you out there. If you end up with that other person you will not be able to lovee them with all you're heart .. cause it seems like she ate half your chocolate bar ! [do you know that analogy?] even though you didn't even date her. Pray that you can let her go for the time being.. you can still admire her personality and remain friends.. but put all other feelings apart for now !! it saves alot later on. Good Luck and let us know what you decide to do.
if you are both ready, then why not
as Bent BABA yasooa said
HOWEVER before all this, u talk to it about her parents if u havent already and tell them of what u will be telling their daughter so u r all on the same boat..
that is personally what i would do, would like to be done to me if i was 18 and what i think u should do!
Anway i really appreciate how all of you cared about me and tried to help me, thanks to all of you
Regards
Baladoos
if it was for the best then there is no reason to cy a river
rabena showed u his path and u should be happy becuase some people get married before they find out the path they were meant to take...noshkor rabena now than later
matez3alsh ya akh baladoos
rabena hay dabar..we yegeblak ahla 3roosa fel 3laaaaam!
Baladoos