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boys talking to girls at church
do you think it is wrong for boys to speak to girls in front of the church and whats coptic societies view on it...
becuase i know some churches that dissaprove of such acts...
not that they think its rong but they think something is going on!!... :o :'(
becuase i know some churches that dissaprove of such acts...
not that they think its rong but they think something is going on!!... :o :'(
Comments
not that they think its rong but they think something is going on!!... :o :'(
I think you kinda answered your own question. It's not wrong, unless something's going on
they only get suspicious when its not in a group, but theyre segregated and its jus the two of them.
egyptians start talkin cus they think somethings goin on and seriously the other youth will think the same. humans are humans, theyre instinct is the first thing that they believe and when they see a guy and girl seperate-- what else can they think??
u gota be relaistic about this situation, even if its innocent, u gota take care of ur reputation cus thats jus how it is, and u cant change that. and i don see the need for u people to talk privately. if its so innocent, you should be able to discuss it in a group.
hope i helped a lil
love ya heaps mwa
It s not wrong at all unless u feel uncomfortable doin it then u kno ur doin somthin wrong...but if yur tlkin bout ppl tlkin well ther gona tlk anyway weather ur doin somthi n right or wrong ther is alwayz ppl tlkin specially cuz wer around egyptianss..but as all the others said they are our brothers/sisters it jus depend s on the way we treat each other and thers gota be a limit to our relations...
Baladoos
just becuase they r talking...doesnt mean what the parents think..
Baladoos
And don't be standing with a guy or a gurl by urself and don't want people to talk about you..comon here..we all know egyptians are 3o2ad lol jk..but they take everything serious..and LADIES would die from bordom if they if we didn't do that! ;D
Here's an exapmle, my best friend at church was driving with her cousin(he came for a visit from australia) and no body knows him..so this gurl made up a story that she has a boyfriend!!
be careful of who ur hanging out with and expect everything possible that people WILL see you and talk about u..we're not angels.
A person's reeputation is the most important thing..and am sure you guyz know how egyptian will act if they know ur talking to a guy or a gurl..just be careful..we do wrong stuff all the time..but don't let it effect you!
GBU
sandra
Guys i'm not saying that I want to stand alone with someone, but sometimes even in a group I find people talk about us. If a boy said something to a girl and they laughed a bit you will find people say: ahhhh see he is flirting with her and he likes her.....etc you know the rest. Lots of people actually do it out of jelousy as well and I saw it with my eyes, like a family is jelous of the other, you find the mother of a girl talkes about another girl because she is jelous of her, or because her daughter is not like the other one, its just soo rediculus, why is that??? why do people invent stories, like one time i was talking to a girl about assignemnts, (I'm 22 btw and I'm graduated) and the girl is just 17, so I was trying to help her to explain something for her assignment, I suddenly found people talking and talking and talking, even though there was nothing in my mind and her mind, i was just helping her, that's all and that was only for once. You also sometimes find one of the sevants that tries to always put her nose in everything that deals with the youth, when we are in a group of boys and girls, you will find her trying as hard as possible to come inside our group, and ofcourse we don't feel comfortable, it is just annoying that they consider us as if we are going to sin inside the church or something, why is that?????? why don't they trust us while we are right in the front of their eyes??? We never try to do anything bad, we never try to talk privately (a boy and a girl), we always talk in a group, but I just realise that egyptian people love to talk even if they know that there is nothing going on, but they just love stories and making wrong images of people. I just ask myself this question: Why do we treat eachother like this??? Even the parents complain that people talk about their sons and daughters without any reason and therefore they tell their sons and daughters to be away from the opposite sex because they are scared that people might talk about them, even though the parents are not convinced about what they are doing, but they have to do it so that they can secure their daughter's reputation. I don't know, maybe I'm making a problem out of nothing but really I'm annoyed and fed up from egyptian and their multiple face. Please tell me what you think and I really apologize for being angry.
Baladoos
Thanks for replys,
Guys i'm not saying that I want to stand alone with someone, but sometimes even in a group I find people talk about us. If a boy said something to a girl and they laughed a bit you will find people say: ahhhh see he is flirting with her and he likes her.....etc you know the rest. Lots of people actually do it out of jelousy as well and I saw it with my eyes, like a family is jelous of the other, you find the mother of a girl talkes about another girl because she is jelous of her, or because her daughter is not like the other one, its just soo rediculus, why is that??? why do people invent stories, like one time i was talking to a girl about assignemnts, (I'm 22 btw and I'm graduated) and the girl is just 17, so I was trying to help her to explain something for her assignment, I suddenly found people talking and talking and talking, even though there was nothing in my mind and her mind, i was just helping her, that's all and that was only for once. You also sometimes find one of the sevants that tries to always put her nose in everything that deals with the youth, when we are in a group of boys and girls, you will find her trying as hard as possible to come inside our group, and ofcourse we don't feel comfortable, it is just annoying that they consider us as if we are going to sin inside the church or something, why is that?????? why don't they trust us while we are right in the front of their eyes??? We never try to do anything bad, we never try to talk privately (a boy and a girl), we always talk in a group, but I just realise that egyptian people love to talk even if they know that there is nothing going on, but they just love stories and making wrong images of people. I just ask myself this question: Why do we treat eachother like this??? Even the parents complain that people talk about their sons and daughters without any reason and therefore they tell their sons and daughters to be away from the opposite sex because they are scared that people might talk about them, even though the parents are not convinced about what they are doing, but they have to do it so that they can secure their daughter's reputation. I don't know, maybe I'm making a problem out of nothing but really I'm annoyed and fed up from egyptian and their multiple face. Please tell me what you think and I really apologize for being angry.
Baladoos
i knoo exactlyyyyy what ur talking about i mean i was in church one day hanging out with my COUSINS and some close friends which i kno...knew them since i was in diapers lol and den i see this woman staring at us...and then this guy tells my uncle go see what those kids r talking about so my uncle comes and tells the guys those r my sons and thats my niece and thier friends. i mean they assume we do something i mean i cant even talk with my cousins without ppl suspecting something bad is going on or any other guy
Baladoos
Why are you inconsiderate so much to forget that people need to gossip and speculate to kill time. Don't they have the right to some entertainment or what? Why can't you just be happy and leave them to gossip in peace.
Even better, why don't you all leave the other gender alone, since you don't share anything in common except for lust and flirting...what's there to talk about anyway???
So inconsiderate!
;D
Sorry, I'm usually a bit more mature, but I couldn't help it this time. :-[
Flirting is obviously wrong, and so is gossiping, but they're both so deeply entrenched into our culture. The best thing for God-fearing young men and women to do is to remain in groups while chatting at church or outside. If you need to talk to a person in private, then make it "in private" and away from peering eyes, lest you be thought of wrongly (but don't be talking in private wrongly either). This advice is too obvious. Just use your brain and as some one said, consider your reputation (and your heart) too. If in doubt, ask your FOC, especially if the one gossiping, was the one you were chatting to.
I think that guys and girls talking is perfectly ok... my Abouna even says so! To say it wasn't would be to go against human nature. However, we should always remember our goals. Are we speaking to this person in respect and relevance? Remember, "WWJD" from when we were young kids? It still applies. Always think to yourself: If Christ was in our midst, would I talk to this person in this manner? If the answer is YES, then you're doing nothing wrong, but if the answer is NO then maybe you should reconsider what you're doing. People will always talk whether good or bad, but there's an Egyptian quote that says: el 7elw ma ye5telifoush 3ley etn3n. If you do what is right, no one will be able to say otherwise.
I don't know what it's like in other churches, but in our church, the adults don't talk about these things.... the youth talk and go out as a group together at least once a week, and no one says anything. They gossip about other things. However, from what I see in my Church, I don't think it's a good thing for guys and girls to interact so much. At my church, they go for dinner together and movies and sports...etc...but in the end they don't marry from each other. 90% of those that are engaged or married did so from other churches. The other 10% that got married from each other did not participate in these activities. There are so many graduates who are nearing their thirties and not yet engaged even! This is because the think of each other as brothers and sisters... how can someone marry another who is like his sister or vice versa? It just doesn't work out. Personally, I think it's ok to have little conversations at church and even the conventions are ok, just not to the extent that guys and girls get used to each other so much. Besides, why would a guy want to even think of a girl who always flirts with this guy and goes out with another guy. When a guy marries he wants his wife to be for him only. And why would a girl think of marrying someone who always talks to this other girl or takes her places, etc... Again, girls want to ensure that their husbands are solely for them and no one else! It's a kind of greed, but i must admit it is understandable...right? I'd love to hear your reply.
Please remember me in your prayers.
...so inconsiderate...
Why are you inconsiderate so much to forget that people need to gossip and speculate to kill time. Don't they have the right to some entertainment or what? Why can't you just be happy and leave them to gossip in peace.
inconsiderate? r u serious??
they have no right to discuss other people's lives and 'gossip' as you say. we are human beings dont forget and have feelings, one seeks no joy wat so eva in being talked about, so how can cud u possibly say that we are being inconsiderate for discussing a shameful trait common amongst egyptians which is so "deeply entrenced in our culture".
kill time????? why not use ur time more wisely and in a more productive way. gossiping is in fact a waste of time, there is a difference between gossiping and debriefing with a friend about something of concern. the prob here is that people begin to label you and question you which can be quite offending and upsetting, and im not even referring to the boys talking to girl thing, im thinking generallly
how can one be happy with people discussing your personal lives behind your back?????? plz do enlighten me in this area
So inconsiderate!
[quote author=His son link=board=13;threadid=4565;start=15#msg65895 date=1168179850]
Sorry, I'm usually a bit more mature, but I couldn't help it this time. :-[
no comment
be friends with whoeva u want people and talk to who eva you want but consider the influence these people have on you and your important relatiosnhip with god
it sounds as though you know who gossips about u... did u try to talk to him/her indirectly?
if its some one from outside ur group, then try to bring him/her into the group to show him/her that its only friendship.
here is what i would do :D ... i would start talking with the person about general stuff... "3alaml eih, azay el famolia, etc.. etc.. etc.."
then, depending on the kind of friendship between me and him/her, i'll manipulate the conversation to get him/her to start talking about the person he/she saw me with. then even more I'll manipulate the conversation to get him/her to tell me what he/she thinks of me and the girl... then I'll say straight out that we are just friends and nothing between us.
I might be not clear, but what i'm trying to say is manipulate the gossiper to put him in the situation that he/she doesn't think that you know about what they said, but you are talking with him as a friend.
I know manipulating ppl and words is bad... could be even a sin... but i use this alot... i "extract" information from ppl without them noticing or "inject" information indirectly.......
every situation is different, but, depending on ur skills u can convey ur point.... no i'm not evil ::)
or u can just ignore them and pray.
Well I think that there is absoutely nothing wrong in boys standing with girls talking after church, I mean they are brothers and sisters and its good for them to understand eachother and be friends with each other. It is rather bad if the boys and the girls don't talk because they will never understand each other's personalities and when they get older they will never get married from each other becasue they just don't understand each other. It is very important for boys and girls to be friends with each other and talk with each other. I know that egyptian society always talk about boys and girls talking together, but as long as nothing bad is happening then I can't see a problem why boys and girls shouldn't talk.