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help

glorybetohimglorybetohim
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
what should i do if one of my old best friends is going out with a boy who is 4 years older than her...shes only 14...and she stopped going inside the meetings at church because shes too busy being with this person...im scared for them. i tried to talk to them and so have a couple others. they dont listen to anyone and its sad. i want to help, but i cant. does anyone have any advice on what i should do?? please pray for them and me. thanks.

Comments

  • nardinnardin
    well i say go talk to her/his FOC about it.. make him aware of what is happening and maybe in confession he can bring it up n sort it out
  • copticluva
    bring her 2 church, pray. pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray..................................................(u get the point)
  • Believer in GodBeliever in God
    I would not reccomend that you do this but I, in my humble opinion, think that you should just leave them for a while. If this turns out to just be crush, as I assume a lot of teenagers get, then it should dissipate. If this does not work then focus on getting your friend back to the church and maybe her boyfriend will follow.

    Please pray for me always,
    Believer in God
  • copt4evacopt4eva
    Just pray and never forget her, talk to her FOC and tell him about the situation. But talk to her first and sort the issues out.
  • Unknown
    There will be many times when you will see your friends making bad decisions, and you will find many times that you can not prevent them from further dabbling with something that will most likely have negative consequences.

    Don't lose heart. Have faith. We understand your concern, and we even share it. And we see your love and committment to your friend.

    You know best what you can do and what you cannot do, but you might not know what you may or may not do.

    She needs your love, but moreso, she needs the love from our Lord Jesus. Try to share the Gospel to her. You might want to sit her down and say you have something important to tell her."I don't agree with what you are doing, but I still love you. I don't want to see you get hurt. I want to always be here for you. But I might not be, and you probably going to push me away from your life because I don't support your decision. I feel powerless and I see that you are going to head for disaster. But when you do, please remember the Lord Jesus loves you, and He is waiting for you at His Church and in that private place. He is always with you, always wanting to comfort you. Just remember that when you get hurt. "

    She is going to face difficult times, both as an adolescent and as someone dating. If you can remind her that the Lord Jesus is waiting for her when she crashes and burns, you might not be stopping her from getting hurt, but you can turn the potential disaster into a positive experience. Maybe you won't be able to use those exact words...but something like that. Something that she will know
    a) that you disapprove
    b) that you still love her
    c) Jesus loves her more
    d) Jesus is a better friend, and He wants her back at all times

    Something that covers all that I find can be constructive, if you can't defuse the situation.

    Before that point you might want to with sincerity, sit her down and discuss, "To tell you the truth, I love you and I don't want to see you hurt. Can we atleast talk about what you want from this relationship."
  • PsalmistPsalmist
    While it is essential that the FOC is made aware of the situation, you should not be the on to report to him. For the simple reason that he is not able to adress such an issue during the confession session. Its like the medical socratic oath, the priest is sworn to secrecy, and secondly he won't remember...thats a gurantee. But what you may perhaps try considering is talk to the priest to focus the sermon on one of the sundays about this issue... not making a comparison but the week of the Samaritan woman is coming up, and so this would be an oppurtunity that would present itself. Just make sure your friend shows up. And like the others said: Pray. for prayer covers a multitude of sins.
  • egyptionorthobeautegyptionorthobeaut
    [quote author=glorybetohim link=topic=4961.msg67128#msg67128 date=1170731255]
    what should i do if one of my old best friends is going out with a boy who is 4 years older than her...shes only 14...and she stopped going inside the meetings at church because shes too busy being with this person...im scared for them. i tried to talk to them and so have a couple others. they dont listen to anyone and its sad. i want to help, but i cant. does anyone have any advice on what i should do?? please pray for them and me. thanks.


    hi glorybetohim ,

    i had a friend like that. she was the same way. however, i talked to her (friend to friend) and told her that she should talk to her FOC and describe to him how she feels and why she feels that going out with that boy is more important than going to church. And tell her that no matter what happens, she shouldn't forget about God and going to church. and your friend is experiencing "teenage love" which is nothing to worry about. but you MUST pray for her and tell her to pray. you can also ask her boyfriend to come to church with you guys. maybe they will like that.

    i hope i helped a little, i will keep her in my prayers

    God bless  :)
  • egy
    im 15 and i have so many emotions about guys, ask ur friend to bring her bf to church with her on sunday [is he orthodox like us or is he american?] if he is orthodox, they should go to church together, tell ur friend that u r not tryiuntg tobe mean but u think that that guy is too old for her, she might tell u that it is not of ur buisness but at the end she will know that  you only want what it is best for her. ifshe is reaaly christian, she will talk to her FOC--he will help her.

    hope i helped, pray for me

    EgY
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