i gotta problem!
in my church der r alot of ppl who r bfs n gfs. but my parents, my whole family tells me dat its against da church rules. im really confused. nearly half da church r dating.
n i dont wanna do anything dats against the church and first of all against GOD.
IS HAVING BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS AGAINST THE CHURCH RULES????????????????????????
Please reply as soon as possible.
im really confused!!!!!!!
im 222222 shy 2 ask my priest.
fnx n GOD BLESS
Comments
secondly,"the obedient son, receives the blessing," and by this i mean, before you consider dating, remember that your Whole family doesnt want you too, so follow their wishes out of respect for them.
thirdly, i personally feel that i can not answer your question, about dating being against church rules, because its not, how else do people get married however it is not for every age.
fourthly, it seems to me that the young people at your church (and my church too) who decide to start dating, are usually too immature for a real relationship, they jsut need something to fill them temporarily so htey can tell their friends about it later on, or to fulfill their lust's demands
lastly, you should never ever ever ever be too shy to ask your priest anything
i gotta problem!
in my church der r alot of ppl who r bfs n gfs. but my parents, my whole family tells me dat its against da church rules. im really confused. nearly half da church r dating.
n i dont wanna do anything dats against the church and first of all against GOD.
IS HAVING BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS AGAINST THE CHURCH RULES????????????????????????
Please reply as soon as possible.
im really confused!!!!!!!
im 222222 shy 2 ask my priest.
simplyy......NO it's not.
but what develops from that is wrong.......i'll let other explain how.
And think about on your wedding day, when you've saved yourself for your husband (not JUST with physical relationships, but with emotional too) he'll have your whole heart, and I'm sure it won't feel anything but great.
Anyway, just because everyone is doing it doesnt mean you should too. Remember... Do not conform to the pattern of this world. I like to say that I'm for ANTI CONFORMITY. Nice reminder.
They're by Fr Anthony Messeh and they are VERY helpful.
http://www.orthodoxsermons.org/index.php?option=com_docman&task=cat_view&gid=122&Itemid=26
they're funny, useful, and informing.
:) :) YAY!
Abouna Anthony is amazing, listen to his sermons... they are very helpful!!
But to sum it up, its not wrong as long as you follow certain steps which Abouna goes over... Hope u like them, he has a whole series on dating.
i gotta problem!
in my church der r alot of ppl who r bfs n gfs. but my parents, my whole family tells me dat its against da church rules. im really confused. nearly half da church r dating.
n i dont wanna do anything dats against the church and first of all against GOD.
IS HAVING BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS AGAINST THE CHURCH RULES????????????????????????
Please reply as soon as possible.
im really confused!!!!!!!
im 222222 shy 2 ask my priest.
fnx n GOD BLESS
It all really depends on the age of the people. if ur a teenager or like in school then i highly recommend u dont get into any close relationsships with the opposite sex. people say they do it to gain experince, but the truth is that wen u are in a relationship u expose ur self to many to temptations from the devil and become very vulnerable. u waste ur time thinkin of that person, u become really attached to that person and u think about them all the time which in turn takes you away from God and also distracts you from ur School work. All u do is think about that person.
About the whole experience thing, its just like drugs and alcohol, the best example is to think of it as fire, u dont need to touch fire to know that it is dangerous and hot, u just take it from wat ppl tell u and u dont get close to it cos its hot.
i have seen relationships destroy peoples lives, and most of my friends who have been in relationships tell me that you should never get into one because it destroyed their lives, they tell me the thing they regret the most is ettin into a relationship with that person.
AGAIN I HIGHLY RECCOMEND THAT AT YOUR TEENS THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD GET CLOSER TO AND HAVE AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH IS OUR LORD GOD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST.
hope that helps, and i also highly recommend that u listen to the Abouna Anthony sermons as well.
Anyway remmember my weakness in your prayers.
the bible clearly says it as fornication and is accounted as sin. as said before give ur self to the lord we say i think is it in the psalm to remember the lord in our youth. that is the wise decision.
God bless
PS. this topic is repeated and there are many good replies concerning this simlar subject in other threads have a read.
Abouna Anthony is amazing, listen to his sermons... they are very helpful!!
But to sum it up, its not wrong as long as you follow certain steps which Abouna goes over... Hope u like them, he has a whole series on dating.
Yessss :) these are the ones i linked her to: REAL DATING.
"I kissed dating goodbye"- by Josh Harris.
Although he isn't a Copt, he gets really deep into the spirituality behind dating, when its okay to date, and how to stay out of temptation and guidelines to follow while dating. We had a mini retreat dedicated to this book, and a bunch of this guy's talks, because this was such a weird/controversial topic to talk about.
I really suggest you talk to your priest too, he will give you the best fatherly advice out there. Best of luck!
Listen to what everyone is telling you...they are right.
Second thing is that, there is no point to start dating at your age. The whole point of dating is to find someone to marry; simple as that. So let me ask you....are you ready to marry? Also, you need to focus more on your studies and church so there is no time for dating. All it does is cause problems spiritually and physically for you. Take everyone's advice and wait till you are done with school, meaning you have a career and are ready to settle down with someone.
GB
Tony
hey, let me tell you something....
Listen to what everyone is telling you...they are right.
Second thing is that, there is no point to start dating at your age. The whole point of dating is to find someone to marry; simple as that. So let me ask you....are you ready to marry? Also, you need to focus more on your studies and church so there is no time for dating. All it does is cause problems spiritually and physically for you. Take everyone's advice and wait till you are done with school, meaning you have a career and are ready to settle down with someone.
GB
Tony
Great Advice. This is an important moral in the book I mentioned. Dating is for those who have a very stable relationship with God, and follow His will to the point that it will lead you to a perfect relationship with the person God intended you to...Marry!
i gotta problem!
in my church der r alot of ppl who r bfs n gfs. but my parents, my whole family tells me dat its against da church rules. im really confused. nearly half da church r dating.
n i dont wanna do anything dats against the church and first of all against GOD.
IS HAVING BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS AGAINST THE CHURCH RULES????????????????????????
Please reply as soon as possible.
im really confused!!!!!!!
im 222222 shy 2 ask my priest.
fnx n GOD BLESS
This is a shame that the Church youth are doing this.
I suggest you listen and obey your parents. The best thing u can do in your life is to remain pure. For God. Your heart and Body is the Temple and dwelling place for the Holy Spirit.
I think its really good to be friends as far as possible with the opposite sexes in Church, they are all our brothers and sisters.. but I feel that when u are young like that, and u date - its more of an expression of your freedom than it is a step to find a wife/husband. In fact, its all done in a hush-hush way.. under cover.. so abouna doesnt know, their parents don't know.. etc. And i HATE THAT.
Didn't God say something about walking in the light?? All that is done in the hidden. In the secret.
pray for my weakness,
Coptic Youth
God bless you and pray 4 me
Copticdeacon
I would just like 2 say that I know at that age that kids (youth etc) are anxious. They think that if they don't date a girl, she'll be taken from them, and they themselves are not even ready (with their studies etc).
Its hard... especially in the Coptic Church where your choice pool is already limited.
I think its OK to be friends, and even have strong feelings towards someone in particular, but why don't u live by the advice that the Church suggests for u?
a) Never EVER be alone with her/him in a closed room. That's just welcoming temptation
b) Going out in groups is better... U'll end up knowing the person MUCH more.
c) We've discussed about physical intimacy before marriage, and we've talked on tasbeha.org about your body and heart being a temple for the Holy Spirit, and so we know that you should respect yourself always in this area??
I knew a kid in my Church that dated nearly EVERY single girl in the Church. I can tell u, whoever he dated, it made it very hard for that girl to know anyone else afterwards. Whichever.... he really over-did it. I remember once I said to him (after he broke up with a certain girl) "u know, she'll make a good wife for someone else".
He said: "Yeah, he's very much welcome to have my left-overs". And this guy was a deacon also.
I felt sorry for the girls he dated. Really. You cannot imagine with what disrespect he had for them. They were all just pawns to help his ego. The girls had NO idea what was in his heart, or how they were being regarded by him.
I do not want my brothers and sisters in the Church to be the pawn for someone's ego. You are worth more than that also.
But its in your hands to be firm and not to allow others to treat u as pawns to establish their egos. Its for you to be strong in this (whether u are a boy or girl).
Yeah, i've seen both from Coptic Christians in Church. Its awful... and then rather than our Church being a place of Worship, we've changed it now into a bar, or club, and it's intention was so that people can be saved from the traps of satan that darkens the heart and mind, and not to be a place that nourishes this atmosphere!!
Last week, a Coptic Christian killed another Coptic Christian. When he went out to kill him, he had good intentions. When the 9/11 terrorists got on those planes, they all had good intentions. When hitler killed mllions of jews, he had good intentions.
Do not be fooled by the goodness of your intentions. Really. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
If u wish to know someone more, do it in the light. NEVER hidden. NEVER behind anyone's back. In fact, the more open it can be the better. That's my advice.
WALK IN THE LIGHT.