› ›

What to do??

needprayers
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hey everyone how are you doing.
I thank you all for replying to my previous problems and I love all your responses so i thought i'd come to you guys again.

So I'm about 15 going on 16....and i have these feelings for a girl.....and ive talked to abouna about it and my mom, and i know this stuff is normal at my age.
This girl and I are very close friends, and i don't want these feelings to ruin our friendship.
I also heard that Love is no lie it always tells the truth, does that mean i have to tell her!?!?! cause i dont think its time, at all we still have school and God willing university, and so forth.

Please i need your help.

Pray for me Lots.

Comments

  • veene11veene11
    I am your age, and this situation really depends on your relationship with this person. I was in a similar situation, and trusted the person enough to tell them. By trust them, I mean their relationship with God is strong, and I know they would help me to solve my problem faithfully to God. Tell this person if you think she can help you "get over" her. Its a vauge soloution i know :S am i helping at all?
  • Unknown
    It's most definitely common for teenagers at this age, sometimes it's hard to overcome such feelings for another person, but don't let this from stopping you to still be as close of friends as you are right now. I'm not so sure that you should tell her, because you might not realize or even find the simplest reaction of the world to be life-changing, so why take the risk, since this [might] lead you to do other things possibly and if you think you're ready to confront her about it, than be my guest, but take it from someone that have seen people frustrated about the fact that they didn't tell that person that they have/had feelings for them, it may be hard, but hang in there..don't let this change both your relationships with God, and if it's going to be leading you to different things that you found in your nature to be unfaithful, than follow your heart, I can't tell you what you can and cannot do, you just have to follow what your heart tells you!!

    Forever,
    Coptic Servent
  • needprayers
    Thank you guys for your help,

    does anyone have any other words of advice if so please say them

    Pray for me Lots
  • Unknown
    I know that sometimes people regret not telling others their feelings, but you are still quite young... so in this situation it may be wise to ask yourself what you would achieve by telling her your feelings? and would this be the best thing for her?
    For example, what if she liked you back? but you are both too young for anything serious so where does that leave you?

    I know its hard because you want to be honest with her, but I think if you can just focus on being the best friend you can to her.

    Pray for me.
       
  • kokiiekokiie
    [quote author=needprayers link=topic=6452.msg85198#msg85198 date=1207530360]
    I also heard that Love is no lie it always tells the truth, does that mean i have to tell her!?!?! cause i dont think its time, at all we still have school and God willing university, and so forth.


    You're most deffinitely right, about it not being time...

    There's also something else..
    These things do happen at this age - and they also are usually very short term. So telling her now -even if it does seem you know, 'forever', might ruin all chances of 'forever'. So do NOTHING! Play a sport, do you homework - whatever - just don't ponder on it too much.

    +God Bless.
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    out of curiosity.. can i ask what Abouna told u?.. just in a vague way(don't go into detail)... i would just like to know what a Priest would say about it.... just out of curiosity.. u can just ignore me tho..i don't mind
  • veene11veene11
    [quote author=coptic pharaoh link=topic=6452.msg85883#msg85883 date=1208295349]
    out of curiosity.. can i ask what Abouna told u?.. just in a vague way(don't go into detail)... i would just like to know what a Priest would say about it.... just out of curiosity.. u can just ignore me tho..i don't mind


    YES. I would REAAAALLYY like to know that!!
  • needprayers
    [quote author=nessa11 link=topic=6452.msg85884#msg85884 date=1208295821]
    [quote author=coptic pharaoh link=topic=6452.msg85883#msg85883 date=1208295349]
    out of curiosity.. can i ask what Abouna told u?.. just in a vague way(don't go into detail)... i would just like to know what a Priest would say about it.... just out of curiosity.. u can just ignore me tho..i don't mind


    YES. I would REAAAALLYY like to know that!!


    My priest said i shouldnt do anything, i should totally stop all contact with this person....
    i dont think its right though but i guess abouna knows best
  • SeverusSeverus
    Abouna does not want to see any dire actions taken, that's all.

    Just moderate yourself and your actions. Meditate on your intentions; ask God to purify them.

    If, however, at a point, you feel too strongly about the person, give yourself a break like Abouna told you.
  • clayclay
    The truth is that these feelings are infatuations, most likely, and that they will pass. It would be a rash move to complicate matters by informing an equally confused teenager- ergo the reason that other posters have asked how spiritually mature she is. But what would you tell her if she was spiritual is also something really important, and how you would deal with this openly. You are both young, and if you both try to deal with it in the immaturity (I am a little older than you and still regard myself immature, so please do not get offended) in the darkness, in secret, and make decisions before seeking advice, you will find yourself in a really bad place.
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    can u explain it in simpler terms? it is 2 a.m. and i can't get that in my head.. i was working on my project and i thought i would check the new posts here before i went to sleep
  • needprayers
    [quote author=clay link=topic=6452.msg85908#msg85908 date=1208316518]
    It would be a rash move to complicate matters by informing an equally confused teenager- ergo the reason that other posters have asked how spiritually mature she is. But what would you tell her if she was spiritual is also something really important, and how you would deal with this openly. You are both young, and if you both try to deal with it in the immaturity (I am a little older than you and still regard myself immature, so please do not get offended) in the darkness, in secret, and make decisions before seeking advice, you will find yourself in a really bad place.


    This is a very good point....and i know that it would be wrong to do anything without seeking advice, thats why i dont want to tell her, i dont want to ruin our friendship and i dont want the devil to play with emotions....he wont stop until im in complete chaos, and even then he wont stop. Also i dont want to put her in a bad place because the people look at her as the girl who did so and so with that guy.

    Please pray for me and my weakness...Ask God to guide me in the right direction, and choose whats best for me.
  • mnc_hnnmnc_hnn
    you better listen to Abouns and not tell her..girls are extremely sensitive at this stage. but i dont see why you should 'stop all contact with her' because she might think there is something wrong with her or whatever.

    (also see the thread about [glow=red,2,300]'first love'[/glow])

    http://tasbeha.org/content/community/index.php?topic=6442.0

    things like that happen with teenagers wether u r good or bad..its just natural but the good person is the one who know how to control themselves and not do anything stupid.
    also consider that feelings when you are a teenager are not mature enough so dont take the risk of doing something that can hurt u or her later on.
    take things nice and slow..and remember that you are still young and there is a long way to go yet.  :)
  • needprayers
    Thank You all for everything!!!!
Sign In or Register to comment.