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*Gossip*

Queen_of_the_NileQueen_of_the_Nile
edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
:'( hey people.....i really hate when this happens! y do people gossip about others!?!?!?!? i mean dont they know that it going to reach the person that they gossip about eventually! it gets me really mad & im sure im not the only 1.....isnt there somthing in the bible about not gossiping! i remember reading it....arrrrgggggg.....wat do u think u would do if rumors were reached to you? how would you deal with them?i need help.....i know everything happens according God & for a reason but it really hurts... :'( (this didnt happen to me but ive seen it happen to people i care about so i really want to help them so please anything will help!)
thanx!
~*da queen*~
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Comments

  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    Yea, I know what you mean, but let me tell you something. A rumor only has meaning when you give it one. If you really care about it and make it your life to prove that it isn't true, than people will think otherwise. If you simply say "that's not true", or "sure, whatever", and forget about it, A) people will admire you for not caring, B) when those who spread it see that you don't care, or that it's not true, they will let it die out. I've had experience with this before in each situation, and it's always best to not care about it because only those who are jealous of you, or envy you, want to make up something to tarnish your environment.

    sleepy
  • Queen_of_the_NileQueen_of_the_Nile
    ok but wat if people spread rumers 2 ur closest friendz plus they did that while they were supposedly "close" friends with u.....& not only that but theysay it 2 ur face....u act like u dont care but u wanna come home & cry ur heart out (at least thats how i feel).....not only that but they be even closer with your friends & your friends , knowing that this person did something against you while u did absolutly nothing, say that that's not their bussiness & just say hi....& they wont respect wat happened to you......i dont know if that made sense but i hope it did.....
    ~*da mad queen*~
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    If they're supposedly your "best friends" or "closest friends" then they should know the truth. In fact they'll probably be the ones defending you, and it's times like these that you really figure out who are your true friends.

    sleepy
  • Queen_of_the_NileQueen_of_the_Nile
    i understand wat ur saying sleepy & i agree with u....i wouldnt think of them as friends.....but its people closer than friends....tite!...friends but u noe u would just consider them differently cause u literally knew them since the time u born....relatives!!! i hate this!!!!! guys pray! i
    ive gotta go cause im gonna explode!!!!!
    bye :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
    ~*me*~
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    I know how you feel. God be with you at such a time.

    sleepy
  • sweetsecrets303sweetsecrets303
    hi i no how u feel i been the same thin and i tried everythin. the only thin i can tell u is to ignore the ppl and as long as u no its not tru then ur fine. it should go in one ear and out the other and if ur worryin about ur freinds if they were really ur freinds they would no that u wouldnt do somethin like wat they are talkin about and when u tell them it iasnt tru they would trust u enough to no that it isnt and that ur not lyin to them anyways i hope that helped and god bless
  • Unknown
    Gossip..I don't think much of it. It always goes right over my head. And when I hear someone is talking about me, I just ignore it I guess. I mean, forgive and forget right?? People change and things happen and sometime people can let things slip and you never know so you get mad anyway. What else can you do but forigive them?? Besides, it's just mere words. They only hurt if you allow them to. God Bless. :)
  • youst718youst718
    i have a diff. case..wat if they arent your friends, and its not like theyre saying bad things about you, theyre just talking about you behind your back and telling people things theve yound out about you (like true secrets n stuff).... its kinda harder to forgive that cuz its not like .. o watever theyre emere words, this si true personal stuff...
  • Unknown
    yea but you still have to forgive..no matter what they said..even the deepest of your secrets. We've done a lot worst to Jesus Christ by sinning and yet we expect him to forgive us so we have to be forigiving our selves. It may hurt..a lot..but we've all been in that position right?? There isn't really anything else that we can do to deal with it because what happend, happend and how are you going to change it? God Bless.
  • youst718youst718
    i understnad that, but seriously, were human .. and i know we shud be stirrving to eb like esus but we dont ahev the same willpower he does and we are a lot weaker, look at it in a human teenagers point of view
  • Unknown
    I understand, all I'm saying is to try.. I am a teenager lol
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    [quote author=youst718 link=board=1;threadid=528;start=0#msg8576 date=1092142662]
    i have a diff. case..wat if they arent your friends, and its not like theyre saying bad things about you, theyre just talking about you behind your back and telling people things theve yound out about you (like true secrets n stuff).... its kinda harder to forgive that cuz its not like .. o watever theyre emere words, this si true personal stuff...

    Let me tell you something. No one knows everything about me. Everything that I want to keep a secret, I do, even from the best of my friends, because you never know what might happen. I only tell abouna all that he needs to know, and sometimes, he doesn't know absolutely everything about me because I'm not one to speak of myself on any behalf. I'd much rather hear what you have to say.

    sleepy
  • Queen_of_the_NileQueen_of_the_Nile
    i agree with u sleepy
    its not that my friends belive it....its that it goes out 2 far & pple start giving u these looks...
    i mean we're human rite?
    its easy to say 4give and 4get but its hard to do!
    pple believe wat they hear....that doesnt bother me that much but they say it to others.....then every1 thinks of u in another way but u did nothing and all it took was ONE person to start everything!!!!!
    that drieves me nuts!
    i kant stand it wen we take everything that we hear thinking that its rite...& not karing about the person's feelings...spread the word....
    its not only that but the deeds of that person...
    i mean....the gossiper does stuff to your face that makes u mad ..... & u noe that its not rite to talk back or anything....try to act mature.....but it hurts!!!!
    no matter how hard u try it still hurts!!!! :'(
    i just hope we can all respect each otherz feelingz sonner or later!
    k bye guys....

    ~*me.... :( *~
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    H.G. Bishop Anba Moussa or H.G. Bishop Anba Antonious Morkos said that gossiping is neither judging nor lying for if it was judging then everything is said is right and if it was lying then everything is said is wrong but it's more of killing, killing the person's reputation and killing him verbally.

    I definietly think it is wrong, and I think that gossiping should not be happening with Christians at all..


    Mike
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    We can't say the "Christians". It happens among us in the churchs, as sad as it may seem...

    sleepy
  • youst718youst718
    Let me tell you something. No one knows everything about me. Everything that I want to keep a secret, I do, even from the best of my friends, because you never know what might happen. I only tell abouna all that he needs to know, and sometimes, he doesn't know absolutely everything about me because I'm not one to speak of myself on any behalf. I'd much rather hear what you have to say.

    sleepy

    see, im not like that, if i keep everything about me bottled up like that i could just explode, a lots been going on in my life lately and i cant just leave it all waiting around inside, it could harm me mentally and emotionally, i only tell my 3 CLOSEST friends. however, i have a snoop of a younger cousin who always seems to eavesdrop on me and her sister (one of those 3 best friends) and finds out everything and thats how everything usualy ends up spreading, its not like im telling people im not positive i can trust, these 3 wouldnt open their mouths if they were threatened death, trust me! its jsut this snoop of a lil cousin that i need to deal wiht n mayb all will be good, but either way those that she tlls dont need to go spreading it like a forest-fire, i mean seriosuly our wHOLE yoth group aging from 5th to lower-college classmen know aobut this one thing and its annoying cuz i know they talk bout it ....
  • youst718youst718
    o, i forgot to say, its not realy they're knowing that bothers me, its just the fact that they cant not talk aobut it amongst themsleves, and the fact that they talk aobut it thinking i dont know. I mean seriously, the high school/lower-college-classmen guys talk bout it n make fun for god's sake! like THEY cnat find anything better to do ?.... and i dont believe that this happens with every culture, i beleive our egyptian communities are a little over the top because everything american is considered wrong or the littlest things always get to egyptians, plus we dont have a VERY large church so especially in my church once someone finds out, the whoel rest of their litle "crew" finds out and after that, well forget it.... its almost world-news... argh i know im babbling but u dont understnad how much this bothers me.. sorry... pray for me, a confused child of God
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    Always let your feelingd out when you can because it always helps to make things better, but things such as what you think or another person, such and such, you can keep to yourself so that way, you know that it will never come back to bite you in the behind.

    sleepy
  • youst718youst718
    i know exactly wat you mean, but this wasnt aobut anyone else, it was about me.... stuf that i needed to talk bout so i wudnt burst!!!
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    Pick someone who you know would never disrespect you be "unleashing" what you tell them. That way, you get everything out, and you also know that it won't reach other people's ears unless you want it to.

    sleepy
  • youst718youst718
    but i did!!! no1 told her!!! she eavesdropped on me n her sis... >:(
  • Queen_of_the_NileQueen_of_the_Nile
    i kant really keep somthing in me cause ill burst....like yous718....but im different cause i need some1 to talk to about it but its really hard for me to say how i feel.....even if it was the closest person....its not that i dont trust that person.....its that i dont feel comfortable......but at the same time i kant keep it inside of me cause i feel like im about to go insane!....i dont noe...i just try to ignore the problem......like this other day i thought i had the worst life......just because i didnt get wat i wanted or sumtin silly but then i realized that i should be thankful 4 everything i have cause i would have been worse off if i had nuttin....i was reading the bokk "flowers for algernon"....its about a retarded person who has this operation done on him so he could be smart....he was simple...(didnt u ever notice that the people with little usually simple & take everything lightly but the people that have everything are greedy for more and never thankful...)....anywayz....he has memories from when he was little and he remembers being beaten and sent away by his own parents just because he wasnt normal!!! he was made fun of all his life by people he considered "friends"......

    there's probably a case like that in the world.....it made me sad.....maybe somday people will notice that others have feelings and they'll stop making fun of them or laghing at them......

    just pray!!!

    ~*queenzee*~
  • youst718youst718
    but see.. this sitn like a problem.. i dont think u guys r getting this.. im not exaclty complaining im just asking if anyone can give me a way to avoid gossip other than keeping it inside...
  • mmatt95mmatt95
    Try writing it down, like in a diary or something, or tell these things to ur close friends when ur having a sleeping over, when ur sure there's nobody around, thats wat usually happens here...
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    That idea about keeping it in a journal, or a diary is an awesome idea. It really is good. Only thing is that you need to keep that book away from prying eyes because unlike our minds, once you have the key to that journal or diary, you have the key to all your thoughts, so be careful.

    May God be with you Queenie. I know how you feel.
    You have my prayers.

    sleepy
  • PaulhPaulh
    Thats a really good question...how should we react in a situation where we know that somebody is talking about us, saying something that may or may not be true, to somebody else that has no business hearing it.

    Well according to the Bible, we should forgive and forget, but we also have to remember the other verse in the bible in Matthew 18:15 where it says:

    Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

    So go talk to the person first.

    But then during the situation, you sorta forget about what the Bible says and you want to handle it your way. So if it was one of your close friends that did this, you say "How could he/she do this, I trusted them etc.." and if it was somebody that's not close to you at all you say "Who the hell is he/she to be talking about me, what the hell do they know etc.." and your ready to go bust a cap in their face. lol. So which is right?

    In my opinion, when you find out that somebody is spreading rumors about you, 1st of all, you shouldn't really let it get to you all that much because people will NEVER stop talking, but from personal experience i know that what bothers you isn't what was said, but the person who said it. So go talk to the person. Tell them I've heard about people spreading rumors about me and saying _________, did you hear anything about it. And go on from there, if they say yes, then you may be able to peace things out and "you have gained a brother.", if they lie and say no, then...
    Matthew 18:16
    But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more.
    Take with you the person that told you the rumor, if they wish to remain anonymous, then bluntly ask them if they said anything, if they still deny it, then don't even bother...if their not "man" enough to admit it to your face then you shouldn't even worry about anything said from a person like that. Anyway, sorry for blabbing and taking so long to get to the point. oh oh, and last thing, if you find somebody spreading rumors about a close friend of yours...then no, you don't say anything to your close friend, cus then your the instigator. You talk to the person spreading the rumors and tell them you don't appreciate the things they are saying, and that they aren't true, and try to talk to them and see why they are saying them, and maybe you could find a way to stop them and peace things out...and if you do, then once again "you have gained a brother". Anyway, lol sorry again..take care
  • david1995david1995
    u know i have been gossobied before n it does not feel to good if u find out without the person tellin you or if they say it straight up in ur face but i have also gossoped alot and i have had expirience that it is also very hard to stop urself from gossop but somtimes you just have to try ur best n try not to fail
  • sleepymusiciansleepymusician
    I liked your answer Paul. Awesome.

    sleepy
  • arubaiscrazyarubaiscrazy
    i've beening all your responses about gossiping but i honestly think that most of us gossiped b4 without sumtimes knowing it...its a sad thing but i 4 one sumtimes let things out by accident....and then wen i realized what i did its kind of 2 late 2 fix things....but i learn from my mistakes....and i also noe no matter how much we try there will always be people talking behind your back...i guess its part of life....but i also look at it as a trail from God....a chance to carry your cross with all the strength u have.....for the past three years i have done plenty of growing up as "DRAMA FOLLOWED ME AROUND". even this past year i had a situation wen one of the friends who i had gotten in a fight with took her angry out on my closet friend. she spread gossip about her in a way to probably get nack at me....i noe how much it hurts.........i had to see one of my cloestest friends suffer cuz of my mistakes....and it was BAD....they had there own nickname for her so that when they were talking about her around us we wouldnt noe....i spent many nites on the phone with my friend drying her tears.....and NOT once did we tell our side of the story....we promised God that it would be between the three of us cuz we didnt want ppl 2 choose sides or bring that other person down.....i was feeling overwhelmed cuz i didnt realli have i shoulder to lean on....so i turned to the only person i new who could realli help me and that was Pope Kyrillos who God sent to me.....i noe it sounds werid but i let everything out to him and i felt him holding me up....and in return i could help my friend even more.....i kept telling my that i didnt want to do anything i would regret cuz i was ready to go and realli hurt this grl....but i felt sum1 holding me bac....i hated not going anything cuz i am not that kind of person i need to go to that person and release all i could on them and am not patient at ALL.....but amazingly as time passed i was able to let it go piece by piece....and the grl let it go to....and after everything calmed down i confronted on of the grl's closest friend that was involved and calmly i explained how much she put me through...no me and my friend r closer than every and i am many friends that i noe truly luv me and stood by me.....i believe that when u lose one friend you lose part of myself and i think that is why i was filled with grief cuz i couldnt believe this person would hurt me that why and i never thought i would lose her as a friend...but than again i believe everything happens for a reason....and i am very proud of my friends and i cuz we tried as hard as we could to not HURT GOD and i believe we didnt....and noe i am closer to him....so i thank him with all my heart....and i thinkl the best medicine to gossip is turning to God and i promise you will find comfort.......God bless you all....and thanks for reading....lol :D i wrote a lot.....lol

    elephantchew
  • Magnoona4lyfMagnoona4lyf
    I totally agree with aruba.... :-*
    ~*luvyameryam*~

    "Bless those who persecute you and do not curse"(Romans 12:14) ;)
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