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Confession and Repentance
I have recently been through a severe recession in my spiritual life. I keep on falling into the same sin. I have confessed it many times and hate what I am doing yet I cannot stop returning to my sin. I have lost the peace of God and his comfort. I do not know if I should continue confessing because I am not repenting. But at the same time I want to confess so I can start fresh again. If anyone has any advice on this please share them with me.
Thank You
Thank You
Comments
You say YOU can't stop this sin, YOU aren't repenting, YOU !!!
But of course YOU can't do any of that, you need GOD'S help, you might be depending on yourself too much, maybe you don't really fully realize the power of God. You need to humble yourself to Him and confess to Him that you can't do it on your own, that you're weak, that you need Him to help you repent, and He WILL help you...
You take one step and let God take the 99 other steps, surrender to Him and He will lift you up and help you get over your sin, just realize that, as St Paul said, it's not you who will work, but the blessing of God which is with you... (paraphrased)
God Bless
Please pray for me, a sinner
1.Try to stop the sin.
2.Remind yourself u don't like that sin.
3.Don't even think about the sin.
4.HATE THE SIN
a story told in Sunday School:
A Monk kept on falling in one sin, a very bad sin too, very very much.... He kept on falling in that sin, and everytime He fell to that sin, He would get up and Pray... every single time... so at the end, the devil apeared to Him and said: "don't You ever get tiered?" so the Monk said:" Every time you stricke me down, (by making me fall in sin), I will Strike you down Also (by prayer) "
**What the Monk said in Arabic sounds a lot better: "Kol Mara Hatedrabnee bel Merzaba, 'Ana Hdrabak bel Merzabba" (Merzabaa is a a type of Hammer)
I am pretty sure that is how the story went, or at least it is the same point...
EVERYTIME YOU FALL IN SIN YOU GET UP AND PRAY RIGHT AFTER IT... The devil at first will make you feel like a terible person an that you can't possibly stand in fron to GOD and pray... you ignore that feeling (to some extend... you still have to feel that you are unworthy) and get up to PRAY... it is the devil playin with your mind saying that you should stop confessing it.... talk to Abouna... tell Him to give you somewhat of a Chalenge to do if you fall in that sin...
if you give me your e-mail, i will send you a sermon by Abouna Anthony Messeh that i was just listening too (i didn't finish it yet) ... Part of it is about the devil playing with your mind...
I really loved the "Let's Pretend"; "Christianity: is it hard or easy?"; "The Great sin" and "Sexual morality": and I think these four chapters would put things in perspective for you.
Hope it helps.
God bless.
I have recently been through a severe recession in my spiritual life. I keep on falling into the same sin. I have confessed it many times and hate what I am doing yet I cannot stop returning to my sin. I have lost the peace of God and his comfort. I do not know if I should continue confessing because I am not repenting. But at the same time I want to confess so I can start fresh again. If anyone has any advice on this please share them with me.
Thank You
Hello,
Did you read the story of Saint Augustinous?
I like this quote by French Orthodox lay theologian, Oliver Clement (which I got from Anthony Coniaris's book: No Matter How Deep the Darkness, He Descends Deeper Still: Light and Life Publishing 2006)
Once more I must ask the question: What is Hell? A psychoanalyst would probably tell you that in the depths of man are foundhatred, suicide, murder, lies, the fear of death and every form of death. All this lies dormant within us. And this is Hell. It is within us. And, of course, it shows itself. It shows itself even on a planetary scale. it shows itself in history, it shows itself in torture, in massacres, in injustice, as we can easily see. And the root is there within us, in that internal Hell. yet Christ never ceases to descend into that Hell.
When we become conscious of these situations of hatred, of murder, of suicide, of absence of hope, we have a tendency to let ourselves slide downwards, in a sense, into nothingness. But if at that moment, instead of letting ourselves slide downwards into nothingness, we were to fall at the feet of Christ who is present there-not elsewhere, but there-then that powerful hand would lay hold of us and snatch us up out of Hell.
We all know such situations, situations which I like to call "baptismal" because they make present the baptismal mystery of death and Resurrection. One could even say that baptism is a Descent into Hell with Christ and an ascent again from the dark waters of Hell into the luminous and lifegiving waters of the Resurrection.
All of us have lived through times when everything seemed blocked, when everything has seemed lost, when there seemed to be no way out. But if at just that moment we were to fall down at the feet of Christ who is present in that Hell, then He would snatch us up, would give us new life."
As the Psalmist says,
"I will lift up my eyes to the hills-
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth."(Ps. 121:1, 2)
"Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell,
Behold, You are there." (Ps. 139:7-8)
Does hell though really exist within us? I mean, when we die and go to hell, its just like being at home then?
Or is it worse? Is the real existence of hell worse than the hell that lives within us?
Finally, where do u think one can find the confessions of St Augustine Online?
http://www.sacred-texts.com/chr/augconf/aug01.htm
God Bless
Please pray for my weakness
http://stbishoy.org.au/modules/wordpress/2008/06/07/the-sculptor-of-stone/
God can CHANGE YOUR heart brother...our hearts :)
By the way, you now know you are desensitized to this sin. Confess that. Sin always exponentially grows when it is hidden. It is a malignant cancer, that you need many treatments again and again: radiotherapy, chemotherapy, surgery... And who knows, exposing it again to the confession father might make you feel more repentant. By the way, God will stop you from sinning and from wanting to do the sin- your job is to have faith in that, and pray and fast and avoid the evil. Carry the bitter cross with all the blisters, and God will raise you up. That is a promise; that is Grace.
I liked this blog entry by Hegomen Rev. Fr. Antonius Kaldas (from Sydney, Australia).
http://stbishoy.org.au/modules/wordpress/2008/06/07/the-sculptor-of-stone/
God can CHANGE YOUR heart brother...our hearts :)
By the way, you now know you are desensitized to this sin. Confess that. Sin always exponentially grows when it is hidden. It is a malignant cancer, that you need many treatments again and again: radiotherapy, chemotherapy, surgery... And who knows, exposing it again to the confession father might make you feel more repentant. By the way, God will stop you from sinning and from wanting to do the sin- your job is to have faith in that, and pray and fast and avoid the evil. Carry the bitter cross with all the blisters, and God will raise you up. That is a promise; that is Grace.
I find this thread very beneficial.. but I hate to just hijack it. Clay, what u wrote is so true.
I personally believe that paliative solutions to sin ARE THE WORST things u can do UNLESS its followed with consistent prayer and communion and repentence to find the root cause. I mean, the root cause has to be dealt with. For example, stealing: If i am a compulsive thief, do I say to myself :"OK.. its best i live in a hut away from civilisation so I do not steal" or should i understand in me the reason what drives me to steal??
This is the beauty, FOR ME, of Our Coptic Church. The Entire BUILDING, the Liturgy, the songs, the tasbeha etc is meant to lead u to repentance and confession, and the result of these are just healing of our minds, bodies and spirits. God wants us to be free children. Free from all afflictions, all desires that can corrupt our hearts and souls. He wants us to repent for sins that stop us from living. I'm not saying palliative solutions are wrong,but to depend on them ONLY is really not wise (in my opinion)... I know they've helped many people...
For example: let's say that you have a problem with internet porn. A palliative solution would be to NEVER use the internet again. Now, I do admire that (and I even Christ said if your right hand causes u to sin, cut it away from u)... it shows u are trying.. but a more substantial and effective way would be to go deeper and see where the problem is coming from. And I believe that palliative solutions are good, so long as they are followed up by constant prayer, communion and repentance to MAKE sure that its dealt with.
Otherwise it will come back!! See? Look at this guy below who posted his problem. THe poor man has tried and tried... and it STILL comes back.
My suggestion is the remove the source that makes u sin. If its a friend, or friends, if it's thoughts, brush them away. St J Chrysostom says :"U can not stop the birds flying over u, but u can certainly prevent them from building their nest on your head". If u allow them to build their nest on your head, it means that u need to go deeper and see why are u encouraging this sin? I know at 1st sin seems very tempting, if not enjoyable for some.. but u know VERY WELL that such things leave a VERY bitter taste in your mouth afterwards.
I honestly truley suggest ONE THING:
------------------------------------
Find yourself the BEST FoC you can, and just confess everything. THe whole lot and tell him ur struggles... through talking with u, i'm 10000% sure he can easily deduce where the problem is coming from. WHy u consistently fall in the same sin??
Who's a good FoC?
------------------
A lot are good... but try to find someone who is patient.
A man kept having the same dream. In this dream, God would bring the man to a place where there was a very large rock, bigger than the man himself. God would say, “Your role is to push that rock”. The man would obediently apply his shoulder to the rock and start pushing with all his might. Sometimes he would try different ways to push - higher or lower on the side of the rock, using his hands or lying down and pushing with his feet. Yet however hard he tried, however tired and sore he got, that rock would never move and inch. Night after night he would push as hard and as long as he could without once seeing a reward for his labour. But he was happy, for he was doing what God had asked of him.
One night, the dream was different. The devil came to him as he was pushing with all his strength and asked him, “Why are you trying to move that immovable rock?” The man answered, “Because this is the job God has given me, and I must obey him.”
“Why do you waste your energy on such a useless exercise? Surely God is sitting up there laughing at you now! And what do you get out all this? Nothing but sore muscles, aches, pains, bruises and scratches. It’s not worth it! If there were any hope you might actually move the thing it might be different, but do you really think you can ever move a rock that size? If I were you, I wouldn’t strain myself on a task that will never succeed. Why don’t you just take life easy and enjoy yourself?”
This seemed to make perfect sense to the man, so he took the advice and stopped trying so hard. Every night, he would put less and less effort into trying to move that rock, until at least he would just sit with his back leaning against it and let his thoughts drift aimlessly…
And then, one night, God came back.
“Why are you not pushing against the rock as I asked you to?” He asked.
“Well”, answered the man, “I really can’t see any hope of shifting the thing - it’s far too heavy for me. So I thought I might just rest instead until I got a chance to ask You for another job. I think there must have been some mistake.”
“There was no mistake”, said God. “When did I ever ask you to MOVE the rock?”
“But … wasn’t that my task?”
“I asked you to PUSH the rock - I never said anything about it MOVING.”
“Now I’m really confused,” said the man. “What’s the point of pushing against a rock that I have no hope of moving?”
“My son, why do you not trust Me? Look now at your arms. Look at your legs and your shoulders and your chest. Were all those muscles there before you began this task? Where did all those strong muscles come from, if not from your efforts in PUSHING against the rock? THAT was the purpose of this job that I gave to you. When you were obedient to Me, you were growing stronger and stronger, but when you decided you knew better, you stopped getting stronger and started to become weak and flabby again. Trust My requests and obey them, even if you don’t know where they will lead. For at least you know this: that I love you and will always do what is best for you. But please trust Me and obey My requests.”
I think this is where you can see "faith and works" really working in synergy.
I agree. We should never give up "pushing". But.. clay...
Clay!!!!
If u compare the rock to sin, I KNOW we have to struggle, but if sin is bad for us, and through exposure to it, we suffer, shouldn't we be running away from the rock?? I mean.. we shouldnt even push it... just run away from it. When we run away from temptation, aren't our legs also getting stronger from the running??
[quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6791.msg91467#msg91467 date=1214321605]
Put it this way: when u join a gym, you need to do aerobic and muscular exercises. There's no point in having strong muscles if the heart is weak.
Vas, this is such a nice quote...and it makes perfect sense! Do you mind if I use this in future?
Yes.. the story was nice... but, God would not lead us into temptation to make us grow stronger. He wouldn't. Would he??
If the rock represents sin, why would he ask us to struggle against this rock, when its best to just run away from it???
What are we trying to prove by pushing a rock?? Its best to flee from it.
I think the only advice now for this young soul who keeps on doing the SAME sin over and over is to run away from this sin. Do not think u are above it. Run away. This is the struggle that keeps u healthy: running. Jog away, sprint away, walk away, marathon-mile-run away from this sin... but don't think u are above it that somehow you will grow stronger by just confronting it.
Why???
Run.
I know 100's of body builders that look really big, but they can't even run for the bus. They look really silly when they run for the bus.. all that muscle just stops them. It ends up slowing them down.
That's my opinion. Please feel free to excommunicate me if its wrong.
Clay, that was a BEAUTIFUL story, thanks for sharing it :)
[quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6791.msg91467#msg91467 date=1214321605]
Put it this way: when u join a gym, you need to do aerobic and muscular exercises. There's no point in having strong muscles if the heart is weak.
Vas, this is such a nice quote...and it makes perfect sense! Do you mind if I use this in future?
habibi, i'm flattered, but im truly not the best person to quote from.
Let's try and focus on how to stop recurring sins. I've got no idea.
My suggestion is to find a spiritual father. Now, i'm sorry to say this, but if u've confessed this thing over and over again, and your FoC knows about it, have u tried changing FoC's?? It definately worked with me.
God honestly doesnt put us in sin to make us stronger. Not at all. Exposing ourselves to the sin itself is an abomination to Him. Why would He do that for!? It doesnt make sense.
Of course, u should NEVER give up.. ever.. but.. the thing is; do u HONESTLY feel bad about it. If so why?
------------------------------
Wait a sec.. I think I know EXACTLY what the problem is
-------------------------------------------------------
--> Do u know why this sin is bad for u?? Do u know or see what it does to your heart?? Do u?
I think we take pleasure in sin, and do not realise at all what it does to us.
Look, look at the prodigal son. He found himself living with pigs. Do u know, in French, being a latin-language what the word for pig is?? Cochon. Cochon = PIG.
Do u know what the word for FILTHINESS is in French?? Cochonnerie. You get the picture??
Its actually a filthy state that sin leads us in. We don't realise what we have allowed ourselves to become. Really.
Maybe, once we are saved from this filthyness, it will make us stronger and be able to evangelise that the One who told us not to sin REALLY must love us as His Commandments proved to be trustworthy and real.
In this sense, we can be stronger. But a father doesn't throw his kid in an ocean of mud so his son learns how to swim. But you can discover, in your own time, through God's grace, that sin is truly destroying the image that you received during your baptism. I think it is through God's grace that u will discover this.
I have recently been through a severe recession in my spiritual life. I keep on falling into the same sin. I have confessed it many times and hate what I am doing yet I cannot stop returning to my sin. I have lost the peace of God and his comfort. I do not know if I should continue confessing because I am not repenting. But at the same time I want to confess so I can start fresh again. If anyone has any advice on this please share them with me.
Thank You
Hi. I think, before u go to your FoC, you should take a look at Romans 1st. Just spend a couple of hours reading this. Go to Romans Chapter 6. St.Paul says that in Baptism, we are Dead to Sin, and Alive in Christ.
"For he who has died has been freed from sin".
He means that those who were baptised (ie. died with Christ, have been freed from sin).
He continues: "Do not let sin reign in your body that u should obey it in lusts".
So here, he is answeirng the question: what is the root cause of recurring sins. You've allowed it to reign in you. You've allowed it take control. There's an element of your will involved that has given this sin a lot of strength to rule over u.
But what defeats sin??? He then gives the answer in chapter 7: 'The Spirit DEFEATS Sin and the Flesh'.
He says that to be carnally minded results in death (i.e. sin), but to be Spiritually minded results in PEACE and LIFE.
So, how can u be "Spiritually Minded"?? That's the next question!!
How??
I guess it would be through reading the Holy Bible, and also perhaps singing the tasbeha. Why not throw in the agpeya if u really wanna paint the town red also???
I think that's the answer to your question
That's just my thoughts, feel free to discuss or disagree :P
And I apologise if I'm not making much sense, I'm quite tired at the moment!
Pray for me,
Matthew
Sin is destructive because it is a counterfeit to the righteousness of God. It is gaining virtue that we have the hole filled left empty by the sin. Usually sin is to get something good; if we get that by godly means- get what is authentic and holy- then the desire for sin decreases. As it says in St. James's Epistle, "Submit yourself to God; resist the Devil and he will flee from you." I know that does not easily demonstrate what I was saying; but I think it is key that we either "submit" to God or we "submit" to the Devil. You were born to have a master- you were born to imitate- you were born to love. We should not be struggling against sin per se (oh oh, I think I am going to regret saying that), but struggling to gain virtue.
After all, this is what St. Antony did in the marvelous biography by St. Athanasius.
For instance, in Alcoholics Anonymous (not that I have been), they believe their problem comes from "self-will gone riot". If they concentrated on the alcohol they will never gain victory. And they always know they are chronic alcoholics. But they are to submit to a higher power that can achieve anything in their life.
If we become our own god- if we control our behaviour by our ego- we lose the plot. Pride is an affront to the grace of God.
Hegomen Antonios (he is one of my childhood heroes) used this analogy in "gaining purity", in this blog page: http://stbishoy.org.au/modules/wordpress/purity-by-fr-antonios/
Stuff like gaining true chastity and purity, there is not the option of just fleeing from lust. As the Desert Fathers said, when they went to the desert, fornication was an even greater temptation. That still puts me off guard- I mean how. But it did.
When you have a certain addiction or desire which leads to sin then what you should do is replace it with a different 'addiction' or desire which doesn't. The key word is replace.
I think that when you get closer to the church and find a way to fill up your time by reading the Bible or other religious books you will automatically find yourself further away from sin because you've replaced it with good things.
But again, humility is so important here, for even if you succeed in stopping a certain sin, the devil will not leave you alone, but try to make you fall in a very dangerous sin: pride. So accompany everything you do with prayer and thanksgiving. My FoC told a story once in a youthmeeting about a man who was constantly tempted and he told the priest he just couldn't get it off his mind, and the priest told him: whenever the thought comes to you, whenever you are tempted say My Lord Jesus Christ help me and the man was like: That's all? and the priest told him yes that's all. And later the man returned and was like wow this really works... My point is to just call on God whenever you're tempted, just cling to Him and He will rescue you.
God Bless
Please pray for me