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I don't think I can cope anymore...

LondonCoptLondonCopt
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Dear all,

I'm going through a VERY difficult time in my life right now...so much so that I just don't want to be in this world anymore, and it pains me to say that. I KNOW that God doesn't allow anyone to be tested beyond their limit, but I think the problem lies in my faith...I don't think I truly BELIEVE it. That actually really scares me, it makes me possibly the biggest hypocrite of all time.

I'm in desperate need of your prayers guys and girls...pray that God gives me the strength and perserverence to endure these hardships and that I'm able to take a blessing from it.

I don't have time to go into the details of these problems just now, but I will go into it a little later. Just please pray REALLY hard for me, God bless each and every one of you.

Matthew
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Comments

  • godislove260godislove260
    Hey, believe me we all go through such times in our lives. It can get very hard sometimes, even hopeless... When you just can't seem to find a way out and God seems so far away... May the Lord grant you peace and joy and give you strength with the prayers of His mother, the Theotokos St Mary, Marmina and Pope Kyrillos and all His saints...
  • jydeaconjydeacon
    The prayers of all the saints be with you, especially of Saint Mary and HH Pope Kyrillos VI, Like godislove260 said, we all go through very tough times, and it may seem hopeless but don't feel that, God is with you and will never leave you as long as you don't leave him. I know its hard to follow and sometimes we lose faith but don't forget to pray for yourself when you ask us to pray for you. Some people tend to do that and thats not right either. You are in my prayers.

    God Bless and Pray for me and my weakness
  • mmatt95mmatt95
    A lot of us go through times of dispair and hopelessness, and I'm the last one to tell you to simply get over it, cause life can be very difficult sometimes. But keep faith in God, and keep praying even if you feel like a hypocrite. God is waiting to heal your wounds, but He can't if you don't allow Him. If you don't trust or believe enough, just pray for more faith. Try praying arrow like prayers through out the day.
  • mannanmannan
    God will brighten it up for you. I will pray for you.
  • PopeKyrillosPopeKyrillos
    [quote author=LondonCopt link=topic=7213.msg95716#msg95716 date=1224174087]
    Dear all,

    I'm going through a VERY difficult time in my life right now...so much so that I just don't want to be in this world anymore, and it pains me to say that. I KNOW that God doesn't allow anyone to be tested beyond their limit, but I think the problem lies in my faith...I don't think I truly BELIEVE it. That actually really scares me, it makes me possibly the biggest hypocrite of all time.

    I'm in desperate need of your prayers guys and girls...pray that God gives me the strength and perserverence to endure these hardships and that I'm able to take a blessing from it.

    I don't have time to go into the details of these problems just now, but I will go into it a little later. Just please pray REALLY hard for me, God bless each and every one of you.

    Matthew


    Good people will be rewarded with good things. In other words, God will help you through this and not only will he help you, but he will make your trouble into joy.

    YOU DO BELIEVE IN YOUR FAITH. You know why? It's because you said that this really scares you. Well, why would it scare you if you don't believe it?

    Anyways, just never lose your focus on God and always intercede through the saints who have favor before God.

    PK
  • Basant TawfikBasant Tawfik
    I know and Believe that God will help u!! pray to god!! sit on ur bed close the door and close the lights, then tell god how u feel!! Let out ur feelings to God!! even though He already knows how u feel. but it will help!!! I'll pray for u!!!
  • stgeorgebrooklyn23stgeorgebrooklyn23



    Good people will be rewarded with good things. In other words, God will help you through this and not only will he help you, but he will make your trouble into joy.

    YOU DO BELIEVE IN YOUR FAITH. You know why? It's because you said that this really scares you. Well, why would it scare you if you don't believe it?


    PK

    i really like that answer, and you'll get through this because you want to.

    going to tasbeha makes me feel like im with God, try doing that.
  • Unknown
    "doubts are the seeds of faith"--a modern day monk, from the monastery of the roman fathers in shiheet
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    [quote author=dumdum link=topic=7213.msg95778#msg95778 date=1224284483]
    "doubts are the seeds of faith"--a modern day monk, from the monastery or the roman fathers in shiheet


    wow.... i sence that to be very deep, and i mean VERRRRY... could you please explain it? i am somewhat confused....
  • Unknown
    When we are tempted to doubt, it allows our faith to grow. And being tempted to doubt, does not mean that you do not have any relationship with Christ, or that your prayers and repentances have not been accepted by Him.
  • socoolbishoysocoolbishoy
    "doubts are the seeds of faith"

    be of great hazard, and alert... for doubts can also be the seeds of straying from God... and lack of faith! doubts in itself is a trick from the devil, so by doubting you are being tricked!


    akhdna el baraka... neshkor allah!
  • gmankbadigmankbadi
       LondonCopt, when you say "BELIEVE it", what it is it that you precisley mean? Do you mean that you are grappiling with the seemingly emotional contrarieties of Christian faith and existential reality? Or, are you reffering to an intellectual composition of Christianity that can be often difficult to match up (so to speak) with the intellectual worldwiews of American and European society today? I pray that God blesses you and equips you with the necessary grace and spirtual guidance to overcome your obstacles. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
  • Melchoir
    "Jesus says: 'I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world'" (John 16:33).

    You will feel better tomorrow, trust us!
  • mabsootamabsoota
    The verse I was looking for before was Isaiah 43 v 2
    When you walk through the waters, I (God) will be there.
    May He encourage you and all who have a hard time
    :)
  • LondonCoptLondonCopt
    Thankyou all for your very kind words, and for all of your prayers...really, God bless you all. Things are still hard, so I still need you to continue to pray for me. Please pray that God grants me joy and gladness and the strength to endure these hardships I'm facing, both physically and emotionally. I REALLY need your prayers...I thank God for bringing me this far, and for all you people. The servants in my church are also labouring with me and helping me as best they can.

    Please pray for me extra hard, and also for my spiritual father who has just been diagnosed with leukaemia. Nothing seems to be going right, so we all NEED your help.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY HARD

    Matthew
  • godislove260godislove260
    God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

    10 In a desert land he found him,
          in a barren and howling waste.
          He shielded him and cared for him;
          he guarded him as the apple of his eye,

    11 like an eagle that stirs up its nest
          and hovers over its young,
          that spreads its wings to catch them
          and carries them on its pinions.

    But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.

    Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be."[d] 19Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead. 20Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

    Rabbena ye3eenak we yebarek 7ayatak...
  • LondonCoptLondonCopt
    Thankyou very much godislove. We talk about "love" so much that I think we sometimes neglect "hope", so thankyou for reminding me :P By all of your prayers, I'm doing a lot better than I was before. I don't think I've quite understood what God wants me to gain from this experience, but I'm asking! Please pray that God guides me too...should have mentioned that one before lol.

    Matthew
  • LondonCoptLondonCopt
    Sorry to bring this thread back from the dead ladies and gentlemen, but I just thought I'd thank you all for continuing to pray for me. I'm currently going through some health problems and am due to have some further investigations in the next week. I'm also due to go into surgery and have an operation done by the end of the month. Please continue to pray that God strengthens me and helps me persevere through these difficult times, and that I gain every blessing.

    God bless,
    Matthew
  • godislove260godislove260
    Rabbena me3aak and remember that in that operating theatre, between the chaotic movements of the nurses and docters, He will be there right by your side, giving you peace and taking care of you... We all wish you the best and are praying for you...

    Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
    I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23)

    The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deut 31:8 )


    God Bless
  • joegjoeg
    God be with you and support you brother. Remember: No hole is too deep to escape from through Christ. Your name will go on the altar down here  :)

    Stay strong, and God bless

    joe
  • mabsootamabsoota
    Praying. May u meet good Christian people. Some of us do work in hospitals!
    :)
  • LondonCoptLondonCopt
    Speaking of working in hospitals...I'm on a paediatrics rotation this week. Please pray that I don't bring any harm to the kids!
  • clayclay
    I'm doing Mental Health rotation! Please message me, it would be cool to get to know you. Anyway Matthew, may the intercessions of St. Luke, the beloved Physician be with us!
  • HailemikaelHailemikael
    Hey, i'm having a difficult time right now too. Please pray for me. 

    I don't think anyone has suffered as much as I'm suffering right now, in a way. So please , pray for me if you can.

    Thank you.
  • godislove260godislove260
    May the Lord help you in all your troubles. Remember that many blessings come from carrying the cross with joy and thanksgiving. God Bless you.
  • joegjoeg
    The Lord is our hope and salvation, he is able to aid us in our struggles. Abide in him

    pray for me

    joe
  • mabsootamabsoota
    Praying for u both, LondonCopt and Hailemikael.
    Please all pray for me too as I'm about to start 4 long days (13 hours) in a v busy job and want not to collapse!
    :-)
    rabina ma'akum kull
  • mnc_hnnmnc_hnn
    [quote author=LondonCopt link=topic=7213.msg96948#msg96948 date=1226358981]
    Speaking of working in hospitals...I'm on a paediatrics rotation this week. Please pray that I don't bring any harm to the kids!


    hey so ur in med school then? lol you should know that being upset is not going to help so try and cheer up because depression affects your physical health as well as your mental.
    emm i'm not worried about you harming the kids this way but you might leave them traumatised for life after seeing you lol..only joking! did you know that kids are more likely to get close to and engage with adults who have 'God's grace' in them?
    you would know the face of a person who is God's child who prays from the face of a person who turns his back on God all the time.
    you'll do fine..i guess when you know some things about medicine it makes it all the more complicated and scarier than how other people might react to it if they have no idea what's going on. Tell God: God i don't know what's going on..but i know that you do..even if i am the best surgeon in the world..i can never have a slight sample of your knowledge..you can help me. i am better of with your help than the help of all human beings.
  • LondonCoptLondonCopt

    hey so ur in med school then? lol you should know that being upset is not going to help so try and cheer up because depression affects your physical health as well as your mental.

    I am honestly trying my best, but it's very difficult. My physical health isn't too great at the moment either. I'm due to have an operation next week (December 10th), which happens to be the 1st day of Kiahk! I will be in hospital for a couple weeks recovering, so please all pray for me during that time.

    I'm really struggling at the moment and have been prescribed antidepressants (with the permission of HG Anba Angaelos...I felt kinda guilty about it at first, so I had to ask him!) Please all continue to pray for me, because I'm really beginning to lose hope. It's been about 5 months now and I feel like God isn't listening to me. I've been told that God's comfort is the most amazing feeling in the world, so please pray that I experience that :(

    Thankyou all again, God bless all of you

    Matthew
  • godislove260godislove260
    You know I think this is so fitting that I just heard a wonderful sermon by abouna Boules George on this very issue... How a person can be going through a tough time for a long time and it seems as if God isn't helping him... Well, abouna compared it to when he had to send his daughter to school, she truly, really didn't like it, her first day was awful and she just wanted to stay at home with her mom and dad... the second day of school, he brought her and she was crying to him, pulling his soutane, beggin him not to leave her and he said in the sermon: as a father, inside, my heart was being torn apart to see my daughter like that, I just wanted to hug her and take her home with me... But I had to send her to school, because it's for her own good...

    I've been and am still going through a tough time emotionally, and for a while I had that feeling of being near giving up... But that would have been the moment of victory of the devil, it's his only desire that you give up, be hopeless and frustrated...

    Don't let that happen, be sure that God knows you can bear these hardships and trust me, you'll come out a different person, God has a plan for you and for every time you bear your cross with gratitude, you become a better person and His blessings multiply...
    He's your father, it pains Him that you have to go through this, but He knows you'll be so happy and thankful once you get out of it and He cares too much about you to give you relief now, and have you lose out on the great blessings of bearing the cross


    May the prayers of the Theotokos St Mary, Marmina, Pope Kyrillos 6 and El Malak Michael be with you

    God Bless you
    Please pray for my weakness
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