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crush!!
What would you do, if you have a crush on a girl from church??? ???
Comments
i recommend to try not to communicate or think about her. i know its hard, but try. occupy ur mind with something else, pray a psalm, read the bible, etc.
sleepy
I see what you mean. For alot of teenage boys, this is an issue. there are a few things you can do:
1) You speak with Abouna, and he'll give you some religous advise
2) Don't make an effort to be around the girl, but at the same time, don't make an effort not to be around her. This will make the situation harder.
3) Understand, that it is OK to have a crush on a girl. However, don't make it a goal to go out with her.
4) Be sure that you understand, that dating is cool when you are ready to get to know people to get married. Otherwise, seeing her in a group of church freinds is good enough.
5) Pray, Pray, Pray. You know that satan will try to tempt you time and time again. So pray for the strength to resist the temptation.
6) Fill your time with productive things to do like playing ball or reading.
7) If you really feel like you have to talk to her about your feelings, talk to her with Abouna. I know this seems far fetched, but Abouna would be there to offer both of you some good advise. Plus, what happens with Abouna, stays with Abouna. No one will talk about it.
So you have many options, it just depends on what you are more comfortable doing.
Hope this helps!
Don’t talk to her. By doing so you might trigger something in her mind that would cause her to sin; sin by lusting or something in that vicinity. She was going on her daily life and by informing her of your feelings you might cause her to become infatuated with you the same way you are with her, you havn’t helped the situation by doing so.
these guys pretty much told you what you need to know to get by, but i'll just comment on a thing or 2. having a crush is absolutely ok as was said before...its just a feeling. feelings are ok to have. just don't act upon them. Remember that Christ is strenghth, not weakness. something like a crush that makes you feel compelled to be around the person or to talk to the person or to even think about the obsessively, is a weakness, and isn't of Christ. this is the spiritual side of the spectrum.
now in reality, everytime u see her, u wanna talk to her to try to get her to think about u and like you. and you always try to find a way to talk to her because you have that crush (remember, that its that crush compelling you to do this...weakness!!). what u need to do is avoid talking on the computer through email or chatting. if you talk on the phone on a regular basis, then cut it off. just talk on the phone if something important happens. the more you talk to the person, the bigger the crush gets. its like a seed inside you, and talking to them is like watering the seed, and its roots grow deeper and deeper in u. and the only way to kill the crush, is to take it out from its roots.
just a quick note before i go...as long as there is still that little part inside you that still wants this girl, then the crush won't die even if you kill all communication...you have to decide with yourself if you reallly want this or not. anyway, sorry for the long reply. Plz pray for me
However, I agree that we must be cautious when young people who are not ready for marriage are involved
teenagers these days are very easy to get into relationships, espcially if they have already been in one.
take me for example, and im being totaly honest, if a guy came up to me or i found out that somebody likes me, i will probably start thinking
"why does he like me"
"i have to make sure that im dressed right now"
etc, etc
it would be even worse, if i liked him back. that would be a whole different story
Fady
sleepy
I see your points and I agree with you. If you read the whole type, you may have notice that telling her would involve abouna. That is why it would be OK. Abouna would provide both parties with the spirtual guidancce to deal with it, and to overcome any temptations, lusts, etc... So, of course I wouldn't recomend a teen to go up to a girl and profess his love for her!!!. I am just saying, that in the presence of Abouna, it may be OK (because he is there to help).
For those who disagree, I request appropriate supporting Biblical citations.
God bless!
Dating isn't wrong. We have had this discussion in a previous thread. I think that dating is a very productive thing for people who are ready to get married. Otherwise, it just opens up a can of lust for younger people, who are not as emotionally or physiologicaly stable! Know what I mean?
Lets here some opinions.
I did read the part about involving Abouna, but its not like Abouna is God or anything, just because he’s involved doesn’t mean that the other person won’t possibly be thinking about it and possibly be lead into sin. “Zamba7a eh?”; as an Egyptian would say; roughly translated, what did she do to deserve that? She’s going about her ordinary life then somebody comes and drops that over her head. Leave the poor girl alone, or poor guy, whatever…, it’s hard to go about life in a Christian manner; they don’t need your distractions. Keep your distractions to yourself…
-Mark
How does one try not to think about a crush when we're supposed to love all human beings?
The love you feel towards “all human beings” is not the same love you feel towards somebody you “have a crush” on. Do you live your wife the same way you love your boss at work? Do you love your mother the same way you love your teacher at school? I sure hope not… there is a great difference.
Yeah I know what you mean, but I think doing the dating thing the right way during the youthful years is good practice in temptation management. We all have our urges, but as Christians we should learn how to deal with them in a good way as early as possible. Of course, I agree that if a kid has absolutely no sense of self-control then maybe he should not be dating at all. :)
Mark:
Of course there are different kinds of love, but this is not the issue since I believe we're talking about a "crush" rather than any kind of real love. I just don't think that a Christian should stop thinking about another person merely because he/she has a crush.
Dunno friends, maybe it's because I'm Catholic. But I don't see dating at a young age as necessarily a bad thing, even if the couple isn't thinking about marriage yet.
God bless!
When I look at the dating issue, I don't just repeat whatever I hear... When I look at dating, I think well, can it lead to lust? Am I capable of falling into that lust? Am I doing this because of lustfull purposes or am I doing this for sake of getting to know this person on a deeper level? All these things play into it. Dating isn't something that teens can flirt with, 'cause it can do some real destruction!
"...I think well, can it lead to lust? Am I capable of falling into that lust? Am I doing this because of lustfull purposes or am I doing this for sake of getting to know this person on a deeper level?"
Make for much better guidance. If an individual teen can honestly answer these questions in a positive way, then dating is probably OK. If not, then probably not. Ultimately, it comes down to good judgment. (So I guess I'm not really disagreeing with you, lol)
God bless!
Mark:
Of course there are different kinds of love, but this is not the issue since I believe we're talking about a "crush" rather than any kind of real love. I just don't think that a Christian should stop thinking about another person merely because he/she has a crush.
God bless!
Oh I understand what you’re saying now… it’s okay to have a “crush” because we should love all human beings. So let me ask you, have you ever had a crush on a guy? I mean according to what you’re saying, since we should love all human beings, it’s perfectly normal to have a crush on a guy… right?
NC, plz plz plz... i almost beg of you to PLEASE check out the dating thread.... [glow=green,2,300]PLEASEEEEEE[/glow]
as for having a 'crush'... it should remain as a crush, nothing more...
dating, thats a completely different topic
but if you have a crush on a girl/guy, my suggestion is to just keep it to yourself, and regulate the amount of time you spend talking with this person
set your limits, which is practically impossible in a crush... but just regulate ur time and stick with it
i wouldnt personally see my FOC unless i was to tell him
'abouna, i like ***** the person that attends this church' then abouna would say ' o, good kid' and tehn he'd most likely say pray about it that God may befriend you with this person and you remain nothing more than friends till the day God wishes for you to wed or whatever... just what i find to be a typical priests answer...
but as for having a 'crush' keep it as that, a crush, and nothing more
Abouna: How old is she?
I: 19
Abouna: How many years until you and her finish college
I:3-4 years
Abouna: ok, my son this is not Egypt where you have to build up yourself for like many years after you finish college, so go talk to that girl you tell her a good word with feelings she tells you a good word with feeling as long as you bodies are away from each other do all you want as long as you body is away and after college you guys can get engaged if you want to.
I: :o :o
see that was my priest's answer i know you were talking about a typical priest but i don't know i think most of them think the same way sometimes
Wasim, i must disagree:
Abouna: ok, my son this is not Egypt where you have to build up yourself for like many years after you finish college, so go talk to that girl you tell her a good word with feelings she tells you a good word with feeling as long as you bodies are away from each other do all you want as long as you body is away and after college you guys can get engaged if you want to.
first off: are u emotionally mature?
second: even though we are in america, in the case of marriage, it is absolutely similar. you still need to get a job, support yourself, be ablle to financially and spirtually handle yourself
marriage is not just having another independant person in your life, its practically taking responsibility for every move you both make, as one body
so if you cant handle your own life, how can you take in anothers?
and when i speak about crushes, i mean crushes among youth, not people who can get married within 2 years...
and what abouna means by we are not in egypt is that the economy is not the same you don't have to wait ten thousand years after graduation to just get a stinky job. Of course you will still need to get a job but not after you turn 60 as in egypt
Priests, by the grace of God, are given better abilties, just like H.H., he is given so much wisdom to make decisions of the Church.
Here's a verse:
But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ's gift. 8Therefore He says:
"When He ascended on high,
He led captivity captive,
And gave gifts to men."[2]
9(Now this, "He ascended"--what does it mean but that He also first[3] descended into the lower parts of the earth? 10He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things.)
11And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ-- 16from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.
Ephesians 4:7-16
Defender
anyway, I'm really for the religious profiling, and no pun intended, but NC, i agree with you that you have this prespective about dating because your catholic. and just onnee last thing. ok, lets face reality, priests are different, and they may all give you a different answer for the same question. but the priest won't stop you from sinning, and what are the odds of this happening. a person that you have a crush on, that has absolutely no idea...your gonna go to them and tell them can i talk to you in abouna's office? and just tell them there when they have absolutely no idea why your doing this. sorry, but i don't think thats too realistic. and by the way, the group might all be able to tell if you like a person or not, but there's a biiiiggg difference if somebody tells that guy/girl you like them than when you tell them yourself. i don't know if i'm makin too much sense here, but i sure i am. pray for me
[quote author=NorthernCross link=board=1;threadid=344;start=15#msg3937 date=1087412891]
Mark:
Of course there are different kinds of love, but this is not the issue since I believe we're talking about a "crush" rather than any kind of real love. I just don't think that a Christian should stop thinking about another person merely because he/she has a crush.
God bless!
Oh I understand what you’re saying now… it’s okay to have a “crush” because we should love all human beings. So let me ask you, have you ever had a crush on a guy? I mean according to what you’re saying, since we should love all human beings, it’s perfectly normal to have a crush on a guy… right?
Mark, this is a friendly forum and I'd like to keep it this way. Please never, ever, ever put words in my mouth. I never said it’s "okay to have a “crush” because we should love all human beings". What I did say is that I don't know how we can ask a Christian to completely stop thinking ahout another person merely because of a crush, since we Christians must love our neighbor.
[quote author=SMS link=board=1;threadid=344;start=15#msg3946 date=1087416197]
NC, plz plz plz... i almost beg of you to PLEASE check out the dating thread.... [glow=green,2,300]PLEASEEEEEE[/glow]
Oh dear, there's just too much info. Can you just give me the skinny on what you think I need to know? Or maybe send me a private message?
God bless!