well thanks Paul i feel so old now and suppose to leave no i am just kidding i am leaving no where but ya i realized that priests are different after i posted my post and was too lazy to go change it. But as you said i think my priest said so because he saw that i might be ready or close to get engaged. and yes it would be better if you tell somebody that you like them then go to abouna that would be better than abouna telling them because if you can't tell somebody that you like them how are you going to keep up with her or him after. does that make sense?
If you have a crush: Ignore the thought keep occupied pray about it
I agree, that's what I seriously do, I try memorizing hymns, that would stick to my mind and whenever I feel any wave of temptation coming up I say "Ya Rab eltafet le Ma3oonaty, Ya Rab asre3 wa a3eny" and then start eithersaying Kyrielesion 41 times or a hymn I have memorized. I do the same thing when I'm scared. lol. Well, it's because I was told that about all the spirits and demons, and especially because my dad saw one and tells us stories about it that are so frikkin scary.
Sorry if I'm getting off topic here, please bear with me.
Your unworthy brother in Christ, who needs lotsa prayers for his life and exams,
guys, i have to make one point here, having a crush, is not something easy to get over, especially if the crush has taken its root.
my FOC told me that its our human nature as well as in our hormones that we have crushes. [glow=red,2,300]BUT[/glow] as long as it stays a crush and nothing more then thats fine. sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. sometimes the more u try to fight it, the more it comes up. im saying this from experience
Northern cross I still don’t see your correlation between loving your neighbor and not being able to stop thinking about somebody because you have a crush on them.
Correct me if I’m wrong… this person you have a crush on is somebody you find attractive for whatever reason; they are intelligent, funny, pretty, whatever… you SHOULD, at least make an attempt to, “completely stop thinking ahout another person merely because of a crush” because These thoughts ARE sinful. If you think they aren’t sinful then I ask my question again, have you ever had a crush on a guy? No, you haven’t because there is something more than just admiring the person; there is an extra feeling towards the female that you don’t have towards the male. I can find a male admirable for being intelligent, or wise or whatever; that isn’t a crush since that feeling isn’t there. That feeling is the sin… the feeling that causes you to sin…
Yes, there's an "extra feeling" that goes along with a crush. Please cite the relevant verse in the Bible that states clearly that the "extra feeling" is a sin and/or it inevitably causes sin.
Hebrews 2:1 Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the thigns we have heard, lest we drift away.
side note: the bible i have has a special comment on the word "drift". It says "These verses are an admonition against willful negligence and carelessness by a slow process of attrition."
attrition: To wander from a set course or point of attention.
You drift away because at first it doesn't seem like a sin, and it doesn't seem like it will cause sin, but thats where you need to close your eyes, and look through His. ["Take off the old man and put on the new"....the new man has those eyes].
sry NC... but all the information in the dating thread.... i know is A LOT but is mostly beneficial stuff... when u get time (which is hopefully soon) read it... good stuff :D
Those verses refer specifically to lust as a sin, and I don't dispute this. However, I don't think they apply here because there's a difference between a mere youthful crush and full blown lust.
Paulh:
The verse that you cite applies to the emotion of anger as it does to physical attraction associated with a crush. In the case of anger, we know by Jesus' own expressions of anger that there are ways to express such feelings that do not lead us to sin. So for purposes of this discussion, what distinguishes anger from physical attraction?
Hey NC, Actually I think these verses pertain to what we are talking about. I think Paul says it very well:
You drift away because at first it doesn't seem like a sin, and it doesn't seem like it will cause sin, but thats where you need to close your eyes, and look through His.
I am going to go back to the original issue at hand. What is a crush? I think a crush, is a special feeling the a person has for another. Now, lets be honest. That special feeling, doesn't have something to do with inteligence, spirituality, or anything on an intellectual level; mainly it has something to do with looks. If I have a crush on a girl, I don't say her inteligence is hot. I have a crush, because of a physical quality that she has.
So, I don't think it would be accurate to describe a crush, as a non-lustful thought, feeling, etc....
NC, i think your arguement is that a crush is not based on lust, or does not contain lust in your thoughts that involve this person. when we say lust, we mean that broad range of desire that grows from within, not necesarily the extremes as u make it sound. when you have a crush on a person, your desire is to be with them, not necesarily physically, but to talk with them and befriend them... right? so this 'desire' is considered a lust because besides the fact that you soon feel the NEED to be with them, it 'drifts' away to other things... lol Paulh
well now that we kind of defined crushs as lust then we all going to be nuns and monks ;D because we will never like anyone or won't be alowed to because it is a sin now so i don't know i guess i am talking from a 19 year old brain as you mentioned before and i guess i think a bit different from you all but i think sometimes a crush could lead to good thinks not always bad.
LOL thank SMS i will send God a post and see his answer jk But i see love as a crush that turned into something bigger I don't know how everyone looks at love maybe you guys can help me out. 19 years of the wrong idea of love oh Lord that is scary ;)
a crush is a feeling we all get on a day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year, decade to decade even!, basis... comes more than once, in all different shapes and sizes also, a crush is a one way street... unlike love, which takes two... love is a one time thing... you fall in love, and you stay in it until God reveals his next step in his plan for you... you fall into love... you walk into a crush you dont 'fall out of love', but you do walk out of a crush, nobody said it was ever easy, but its not impossible...
i am sorry SMS but i still disagree with you becasue a crush is not always a one sided thing, i know people who had a 2 way crush which turned into a larger crush then it just broke out compeletly ya it was broken after but still it was a 2 way thing i just don't see people falling in love without something before it like something that leads to love
[quote author=Wasim link=board=1;threadid=344;start=45#msg4031 date=1087524994] i am sorry SMS but i still disagree with you becasue a crush is not always a one sided thing, i know people who had a 2 way crush which turned into a larger crush then it just broke out compeletly ya it was broken after but still it was a 2 way thing i just don't see people falling in love without something before it like something that leads to love
having a one way or two way crush wasnt my only point my point was that u dont need to have a crush before falling in love a crush is something that happens to an emotionally immature person... love is something that progresses to an emotionally developed person that can handle the feeling and what ever else... you cant confuse the two
[quote author=SMS link=board=1;threadid=344;start=45#msg4032 date=1087525822] a crush is something that happens to an emotionally immature person... love is something that progresses to an emotionally developed person that can handle the feeling and what ever else... you cant confuse the two
you cant go from emotionally immature to mature within the span of one 'crush' first off... u go through several crushes before you reach a certain age... and you may not be able to tell the difference... i mean i can lead myself to believe that i am emotionally mature at being at a teenage kid... and i can think that i'm in love with a current 'crush' or whatever... but you don't do that when you're REALLY emotionally mature...
I am going to go back to the original issue at hand. What is a crush? I think a crush, is a special feeling the a person has for another. Now, lets be honest. That special feeling, doesn't have something to do with inteligence, spirituality, or anything on an intellectual level; mainly it has something to do with looks. If I have a crush on a girl, I don't say her inteligence is hot. I have a crush, because of a physical quality that she has.
So, I don't think it would be accurate to describe a crush, as a non-lustful thought, feeling, etc....
I think I see why there's a disagreement here. You seem to equate the physical attraction associated with a crush with lust. But if you look at the dictionary (check out dictionary.com), you'll see that the definition of lust is "intense or unrestrained sexual craving". Lust, while a kind of physical attraction, is on the extreme end of the physical attraction spectrum. All crushes, on the other hand, are not necessarily"intense or unrestrained", and I don't know that they're all "sexual cravings" either.
[quote author=SMS link=board=1;threadid=344;start=30#msg4017 date=1087516782] NC, i think your arguement is that a crush is not based on lust, or does not contain lust in your thoughts that involve this person. when we say lust, we mean that broad range of desire that grows from within, not necesarily the extremes as u make it sound. when you have a crush on a person, your desire is to be with them, not necesarily physically, but to talk with them and befriend them... right? so this 'desire' is considered a lust because besides the fact that you soon feel the NEED to be with them, it 'drifts' away to other things... lol Paulh
;D
I accept that we may be defining "lust" differently. You and others seem to take a broader approach, whereas I see the word in more narrow terms. But the issue is not who among us has the better definition. Rather, the issue is what the authors of those Biblical verses meant by the word "lust". Personally, I believe that if the authors intended the "broad range" meaning, then the English translators of the Bible would not have used "lust", which as I stated above, is a narrow term. But if you know of something that demonstrates otherwise, then please let me know.
As far your contention that desire drifts away to "other things", I disagree with the notion that a crush necessaily leads to sin.
[quote author=Mark423 link=board=1;threadid=344;start=45#msg4028 date=1087523340] Surprise, surprise… we have once again come to a point where those who desire the sin will dismiss any arguments being made against it.
Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his foolishness will not depart from him. Proverbs 27:22
We have done our best to try to change their minds. All we can do now is pray that their eyes are opened and that they see why it’s wrong.
I think I see why there's a disagreement here. You seem to equate the physical attraction associated with a crush with lust. But if you look at the dictionary (check out dictionary.com), you'll see that the definition of lust is "intense or unrestrained sexual craving". Lust, while a kind of physical attraction, is on the extreme end of the physical attraction spectrum. All crushes, on the other hand, are not necessarily"intense or unrestrained", and I don't know that they're all "sexual cravings" either.
NC, I'm kinda confused about your understanding of a "crush". You are trying to say that a crush has nothing to do with lust, which is mainly based on physical attraction. So let me ask you, have you ever had a crush on someone because they were smart or knew who to do derivitives? Come on now, lets be honest.
Personally, I think the word is too ill-defined to be able to answer these questions. Its my favorite former President once said, "it depends what the meaning of IS is." On my personal "crush" story. There have been a few girls, when I was in my teenage years that I thought were smart, attractive, fun to be with, etc.. and I'm sure that some of them thought the same about me, but I would never ask them out on a date, just because it would make our relationship (friendship, aquaintanceship, church member, whatever) awkward, or it was just not the right time to do so. So in my opinion, crushes do not necessarily have to be lustful, although they can be sometimes.
[quote author=Peter Gergis link=board=1;threadid=344;start=45#msg4045 date=1087536630] NC, I'm kinda confused about your understanding of a "crush". You are trying to say that a crush has nothing to do with lust, which is mainly based on physical attraction. So let me ask you, have you ever had a crush on someone because they were smart or knew who to do derivitives? Come on now, lets be honest.
A crush is usually based (at least in part) on physical attraction, as you said. But that is not the same as saying that it's a form of lust, which is much more extreme. And yes, I have had a crush on someone who was smart. In fact, I've been going out with an attorney for the past few months. And to be completely honest with you, her most attractive feature to me is her intelligence. But that doesn't mean that I have an "intense or unrestrained sexual craving" for her brain, or any other body part for that matter. Why is this so hard to believe?
[Correction: Upon further consideration, I'd say that her most attarctive feature is her wonderful personality.]
Hey NC, I'm not so sure that you get what lust is all about. Lust does not have to be extreme, it can be as simple as a physical attraction. However, it is just as dangerous as having a crush. They both have the same Ph level!
Comments
but ya i realized that priests are different after i posted my post and was too lazy to go change it. But as you said i think my priest said so because he saw that i might be ready or close to get engaged.
and yes it would be better if you tell somebody that you like them then go to abouna that would be better than abouna telling them because if you can't tell somebody that you like them how are you going to keep up with her or him after. does that make sense?
Ignore the thought
keep occupied
pray about it
Sorry if I'm getting off topic here, please bear with me.
Your unworthy brother in Christ, who needs lotsa prayers for his life and exams,
Mike (Defender)
my FOC told me that its our human nature as well as in our hormones that we have crushes. [glow=red,2,300]BUT[/glow] as long as it stays a crush and nothing more then thats fine. sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. sometimes the more u try to fight it, the more it comes up. im saying this from experience
Correct me if I’m wrong… this person you have a crush on is somebody you find attractive for whatever reason; they are intelligent, funny, pretty, whatever… you SHOULD, at least make an attempt to, “completely stop thinking ahout another person merely because of a crush” because These thoughts ARE sinful. If you think they aren’t sinful then I ask my question again, have you ever had a crush on a guy? No, you haven’t because there is something more than just admiring the person; there is an extra feeling towards the female that you don’t have towards the male. I can find a male admirable for being intelligent, or wise or whatever; that isn’t a crush since that feeling isn’t there. That feeling is the sin… the feeling that causes you to sin…
Yes, there's an "extra feeling" that goes along with a crush. Please cite the relevant verse in the Bible that states clearly that the "extra feeling" is a sin and/or it inevitably causes sin.
God bless!
Proverbs 6:25
Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.
Matthew 5:28
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Romans 13:14
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
2 Timothy 2:22
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
hope these helped
Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the thigns we have heard, lest we drift away.
side note: the bible i have has a special comment on the word "drift". It says "These verses are an admonition against willful negligence and carelessness by a slow process of attrition."
attrition: To wander from a set course or point of attention.
You drift away because at first it doesn't seem like a sin, and it doesn't seem like it will cause sin, but thats where you need to close your eyes, and look through His. ["Take off the old man and put on the new"....the new man has those eyes].
Those verses refer specifically to lust as a sin, and I don't dispute this. However, I don't think they apply here because there's a difference between a mere youthful crush and full blown lust.
Paulh:
The verse that you cite applies to the emotion of anger as it does to physical attraction associated with a crush. In the case of anger, we know by Jesus' own expressions of anger that there are ways to express such feelings that do not lead us to sin. So for purposes of this discussion, what distinguishes anger from physical attraction?
SMS:
I think you've piqued my interest, lol.
God bless!
Actually I think these verses pertain to what we are talking about. I think Paul says it very well: I am going to go back to the original issue at hand. What is a crush? I think a crush, is a special feeling the a person has for another. Now, lets be honest. That special feeling, doesn't have something to do with inteligence, spirituality, or anything on an intellectual level; mainly it has something to do with looks. If I have a crush on a girl, I don't say her inteligence is hot. I have a crush, because of a physical quality that she has.
So, I don't think it would be accurate to describe a crush, as a non-lustful thought, feeling, etc....
I know this is going to its greatest extent but :
You can have an innocent crush, yet, in ur mind your thinking about a sexual relation with this person.
I do think lustful thoughts, even if they are a couple holding hands, is a sin, yet it is not what I think that matters.
Defender
when we say lust, we mean that broad range of desire that grows from within, not necesarily the extremes as u make it sound.
when you have a crush on a person, your desire is to be with them, not necesarily physically, but to talk with them and befriend them... right?
so this 'desire' is considered a lust because besides the fact that you soon feel the NEED to be with them, it 'drifts' away to other things...
lol Paulh
;D
because we will never like anyone or won't be alowed to because it is a sin now so i don't know i guess i am talking from a 19 year old brain as you mentioned before and i guess i think a bit different from you all but i think sometimes a crush could lead to good thinks not always bad.
right?
theres also a thing called love... which is a different story
and if we going to consider every crush a sin and just kill it then how is it going to be serious and turn into love ???
crush does NOT turn into love
love is different
you can ask God about that
Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his foolishness will not depart from him.
Proverbs 27:22
We have done our best to try to change their minds. All we can do now is pray that their eyes are opened and that they see why it’s wrong.
-Mark
But i see love as a crush that turned into something bigger
I don't know how everyone looks at love maybe you guys can help me out.
19 years of the wrong idea of love oh Lord that is scary ;)
also, a crush is a one way street... unlike love, which takes two...
love is a one time thing... you fall in love, and you stay in it until God reveals his next step in his plan for you...
you fall into love... you walk into a crush
you dont 'fall out of love', but you do walk out of a crush,
nobody said it was ever easy, but its not impossible...
ya it was broken after but still it was a 2 way thing
i just don't see people falling in love without something before it like something that leads to love
i am sorry SMS but i still disagree with you becasue a crush is not always a one sided thing, i know people who had a 2 way crush which turned into a larger crush then it just broke out compeletly
ya it was broken after but still it was a 2 way thing
i just don't see people falling in love without something before it like something that leads to love
having a one way or two way crush wasnt my only point
my point was that u dont need to have a crush before falling in love
a crush is something that happens to an emotionally immature person... love is something that progresses to an emotionally developed person that can handle the feeling and what ever else...
you cant confuse the two
love is something that progresses to an emotionally developed person that can handle the feeling and what ever else... see so love progresses.
i see it this way
crush (2 way) after a while -----> love ------> marriage
a crush is something that happens to an emotionally immature person... love is something that progresses to an emotionally developed person that can handle the feeling and what ever else...
you cant confuse the two
you cant go from emotionally immature to mature within the span of one 'crush'
first off... u go through several crushes before you reach a certain age... and you may not be able to tell the difference...
i mean i can lead myself to believe that i am emotionally mature at being at a teenage kid... and i can think that i'm in love with a current 'crush' or whatever... but you don't do that when you're REALLY emotionally mature...
[quote author=Peter Gergis link=board=1;threadid=344;start=30#msg4008 date=1087512966]
Hey NC,
I am going to go back to the original issue at hand. What is a crush? I think a crush, is a special feeling the a person has for another. Now, lets be honest. That special feeling, doesn't have something to do with inteligence, spirituality, or anything on an intellectual level; mainly it has something to do with looks. If I have a crush on a girl, I don't say her inteligence is hot. I have a crush, because of a physical quality that she has.
So, I don't think it would be accurate to describe a crush, as a non-lustful thought, feeling, etc....
I think I see why there's a disagreement here. You seem to equate the physical attraction associated with a crush with lust. But if you look at the dictionary (check out dictionary.com), you'll see that the definition of lust is "intense or unrestrained sexual craving". Lust, while a kind of physical attraction, is on the extreme end of the physical attraction spectrum. All crushes, on the other hand, are not necessarily"intense or unrestrained", and I don't know that they're all "sexual cravings" either.
[quote author=SMS link=board=1;threadid=344;start=30#msg4017 date=1087516782]
NC, i think your arguement is that a crush is not based on lust, or does not contain lust in your thoughts that involve this person.
when we say lust, we mean that broad range of desire that grows from within, not necesarily the extremes as u make it sound.
when you have a crush on a person, your desire is to be with them, not necesarily physically, but to talk with them and befriend them... right?
so this 'desire' is considered a lust because besides the fact that you soon feel the NEED to be with them, it 'drifts' away to other things...
lol Paulh
;D
I accept that we may be defining "lust" differently. You and others seem to take a broader approach, whereas I see the word in more narrow terms. But the issue is not who among us has the better definition. Rather, the issue is what the authors of those Biblical verses meant by the word "lust". Personally, I believe that if the authors intended the "broad range" meaning, then the English translators of the Bible would not have used "lust", which as I stated above, is a narrow term. But if you know of something that demonstrates otherwise, then please let me know.
As far your contention that desire drifts away to "other things", I disagree with the notion that a crush necessaily leads to sin.
[quote author=Mark423 link=board=1;threadid=344;start=45#msg4028 date=1087523340]
Surprise, surprise… we have once again come to a point where those who desire the sin will dismiss any arguments being made against it.
Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his foolishness will not depart from him.
Proverbs 27:22
We have done our best to try to change their minds. All we can do now is pray that their eyes are opened and that they see why it’s wrong.
-Mark
Who are you referring to?
God bless!
I'm kinda confused about your understanding of a "crush". You are trying to say that a crush has nothing to do with lust, which is mainly based on physical attraction. So let me ask you, have you ever had a crush on someone because they were smart or knew who to do derivitives? Come on now, lets be honest.
NC,
I'm kinda confused about your understanding of a "crush". You are trying to say that a crush has nothing to do with lust, which is mainly based on physical attraction. So let me ask you, have you ever had a crush on someone because they were smart or knew who to do derivitives? Come on now, lets be honest.
A crush is usually based (at least in part) on physical attraction, as you said. But that is not the same as saying that it's a form of lust, which is much more extreme. And yes, I have had a crush on someone who was smart. In fact, I've been going out with an attorney for the past few months. And to be completely honest with you, her most attractive feature to me is her intelligence. But that doesn't mean that I have an "intense or unrestrained sexual craving" for her brain, or any other body part for that matter. Why is this so hard to believe?
[Correction: Upon further consideration, I'd say that her most attarctive feature is her wonderful personality.]
God bless!
I'm not so sure that you get what lust is all about. Lust does not have to be extreme, it can be as simple as a physical attraction. However, it is just as dangerous as having a crush. They both have the same Ph level!