i will attempt to summarise human psychology in a few lines. if u don't like it, i would like u to have the chance to forgive me for my weakness!
basically hate comes from anger. the more angry u are, the more u hate. eventually, if u don't treat the anger, u will do something really bad, it will be like a 'wake-up' call and u will really regret it and then u will start to feel more normal again. unfortunately, this is a bit like a 10am wake-up call when u have classes at 9am. a bit useless. u will then have to spend the rest of your life feeling bad u smashed an expensive ancient pot, set the house on fire, accidently hit someone so hard they died etc etc. so u have a choice. either u agree to be angry (doing nothing means u agree to be angry) and carry on the same till something snaps... or u decide to do whatever u can to get rid of your anger. it doesn't happen overnight, u have to work at it.
i know all this, because i used to be an angry person (and i have studied quite a lot of psychology). very few people realised, coz i still looked normal on the outside, but i would swear sometimes at work, and in my dreams i would smash through buildings and break lots of glass. i realised this was not good, so i asked God to help me to deal with my anger. it took some months, but basically as i prayed and studied the Bible, God helped me to realise all the people i had not truly forgiven in my heart for various things. also he gave me true friends (in church) who loved me despite my weaknesses. i had to ditch some of my pride (there is some left, oops!) and tell my friends and my spiritual father about my failings and my anger, and through various wonderful people i met, the times they prayed with me and the love they gave me, i was able to forgive those i was angry with.
it took several months, and finished with me joining the coptic church :) and since then it is so much easier to see beauty in everything. or course i still get tempted to go back to my old ways, it's not easy, but you can get rid of hatred if u work at it and ask God. forgiveness is the key, easy to say, hard to do, but u will never regret it. may God give u strength.
Obviously Dimyan wants some sort of help otherwise he would not have posted this. I feel very similar to this quite a bit and the people dont help. Egyptians are not the most compassionate people, they are so quick to judge and point out flaws but are distant when it comes to someone in need. I doubt that Dimyan actually hates everyone, its just misdirected anger, and despite what Mabsoota says, anger is a natural human emotion and it is ok to be angry. However, if one becomes too angry it can be just as dangerous as being too sad. I know your probably just frustrated with everything and the responses you get from people, which if it is the same kind of responses I get, I totally understand where your coming from.
I may be wrong but I see you as someone who puts great emphasis on perfection and being the best, that is a wonderful thing. This can become problematic since we cannot actually achieve perfection, at least by our own accord. I also see you as a typical hard headed egyptian who listens only to himself and maybe this is why you are so upset, you see that you are exactly like these people and it bothers you.
Believe me brother, I understand you probably more than anyone here. As a convert I am shoved off to the side and marginalized when it comes to activities and things that need to be done in church. Instead of spending money on helping people learn the faith, creating classes or a library of some sort, we buy more land. Are you kidding me? So believe me I understand, the people are the worst part of Christianity hence Ghandi saying: "I would be Christian if it werent for Christians." The sad thing is, as much crap as I get from people here about "how I talk" many of them are the ones that are pushing people like us away and they are too damn self righteous to recognize it.
Dont get so bent out of shape, do what I am trying to do, separate the people from the religion. The people are generally stupid. If you want you can stay in contact with me, PM me and I will give u my email or phone number or something.
I can relate to this as well, and although Ioannes was critical of Egyptians' tendency to be too judgmental, I think he is 100% correct. This is still a problem for me and I hope I can correct it as soon as possible as well.
Mabsoota, I hope I can do what you did, and actually I plan on majoring in psychology when I go to college next year.
this has the same roots. when u are shocked at yr own anger sometimes u push it in on yourself and it can be very destructive. u have no right to hate yourself. God created you, and then redeemed you with the precious blood of Jesus, so u do not belong to yourself, you belong to God. u r basically saying to God 'this thing u made sucks, u r stupid to love it so much'! so please remember God loves u and ask Him to help u forgive other people and yourself so that u radiate with His love to everyone. if u accept God knows best, slowly u will be able to accept yourself too, as someone He loves very much, suffered and died for, and someone He has big plans for. may u be filled with His love and glorify His Holy name in your life.
This situation must be exhausting for you. I do not at all mean that in a joking way. It really is exhausting to harbor hatred, whether it is for yourself or others or both. Hatred is like a virus that will overtake you and eventually kill you if you do not avail yourself of the medicine of frequent prayer, confession, and communion. The trouble is, the more you hate, the harder it is to do these things or to see the point in doing them.
I have dealt with a lot of self-hatred, too. I eventually even had to seek professional help for it, because it ruined relationships that were very important to me and was causing me to sin in many grievous ways. Honestly I'm not even sure if I am completely over it. Hopefully I am at least getting better. Maybe you should also seek professional help in addition to spiritual counsel?
i totally agree with Ioannes! i was going through a stage where i didnt want to go to church altogether because of the people there. But then iv grown to realise how i shouldnt be focusing on other people, especially when theyr always telling you of your imperfections. Like i had one guy ask me what i wanted to do after school, and i said clinical psychology, and he totally made me feel like rubbish when he started saying to me things like "you should do medicine otherwise you will regret having the higher income in the long run", are you for real? and like Ioannes said, my church also does similar acts like buying extra land, which we dnt even need for crying out loud. and they always do these special events that dont even benefit the poor, only the church. And what i find really funny is that even though jesus condemned having people sell goods in the synagogue or place of worship, people still think its a great idea to open a canteen or antiques store at the church, even though our church is right next to a shopping centre, where i can buy food that is cheaper than the stuff made at church. sorry for my rant, but honestly i sometimes feel that being egyptian is not somthing i take pride in. And i totally understand the anger being explained here, because im always so angry and frustrated, but i find that whenever i start my day by praying, i feel calmer and balanced as weird as that sounds.
" EVERYONE SHOULD BE QUICK TO LISTEN, SLOW TO SPEAK AND SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY" James 1:19. Sounds simple, yet seems impossible sometimes, doesn't it? First off, I'd like to say you're not alone. I think its safe to say most people have experienced their fare share of anger/hatred. I've come to realize something important though; ANGER IS A CHOICE. TO HATE IS CHOOSING TO HATE (regardless if the reason is valid or not). Everyone I'm sure has been/will be acquainted with upsetting situations. This is absolutely fine, however HOW YOU REACT is, in fact, what makes the difference. For example, when Joseph was wronged by his brothers, I'm sure he was angry. Any normal person in his situation would have been. When he ruled Egypt, he had every opportunity in the world to take his revenge, but instead he CHOSE to be kind and accepting of his family. Granted it's difficult, but Joseph shows us its very possible.
If you're like me, you want to hear things that are tangible; things you can do that are practical and will change things. These are some things that have helped/are helping me when dealing with anger/hatred..
1. PRAY OFTEN. Frequent prayer will help you pour your heart out to God. He made you and will most definitely heal you! "He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds" Psalm 147:3. It's not pointless nor is it useless. Never underestimate its power. It has made the blind see and the lame walk. I'm sure prayer/faith is the best possible thing you can practice, and by far more affective than anything else.
2. Remember; humans are weak and, more often than not, say things they don't mean. Solomon says it perfectly, "Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you- for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others" Ecclesiates 7:21-22. We all have experienced the "wrath of egyptian gossip". Really, who hasn't? It may be difficult to deal with, but it's not worth letting it change you. Learn to nod politely and ignore. Don't bother yourselves with condescending advice because you're the only person that can change your life.
3. Don't hide behind excuses. I know, I myself am queen of that. If you're angry with someone or something, that's fine, but instead of dwelling in it, figure out how to fix it or get over it before it eats away at you. Saying things like "I would talk to my FOC, but I hate him too" is not a valid reason to not talk to anyone. Look for a different FOC, talk to a friend or someone you trust. If you have no one in your life you can talk to, there is no shame in seeking professional guidance.
4. Get a good support system. Try to surround yourself by more uplifting people. Their positive attitude may rub off on you.
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10331.msg126644#msg126644 date=1294500857] I heard that hating everything in the world is the reason most people choose and become successful in monasticism....
maybe its a calling! :D
I dont know if it is hate, I think it is a rejection of the way of life. A monk's prayers hold the very fabric of our lives together. They are in constant prayer for us all, so I dont think they could hate us and pray for us. I think DC is just extremely frustrated but I am sure he/she will come out of it, through Gods help, with a valuable lesson.
[quote author=Ioannes link=topic=10331.msg126704#msg126704 date=1294602768] [quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10331.msg126644#msg126644 date=1294500857] I heard that hating everything in the world is the reason most people choose and become successful in monasticism....
maybe its a calling! :D
I dont know if it is hate, I think it is a rejection of the way of life. A monk's prayers hold the very fabric of our lives together. They are in constant prayer for us all, so I dont think they could hate us and pray for us. I think DC is just extremely frustrated but I am sure he/she will come out of it, through Gods help, with a valuable lesson. [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=10331.msg126707#msg126707 date=1294608383] i agree, though i suspect that post was not 100% serious! certainly if you hated everything you would not be a good monk.
[quote author=DimyanCoptic link=topic=10331.msg125889#msg125889 date=1293820129] i absolutely hate EVERYTHING. there isnt anything to explain. i hate the world, i hate human beings, i hate society, i hate EVERYTHING.
& i bet when someone tries to help me in this topic, im going to tell myself "who does this guy think he is, does he think he has the key of life's troubles or something"
i dont know what to do.
i have so much hatred in me. i would talk to my father of confession but i hate him too.
What I said about you getting married in your other thread is now void, it seems God has a special plan for you. Look at your traits and skills then figure out how would you use them to serve God and serve others, then you will learn to love some the things that you hate.
What I said about you getting married in your other thread is now void, it seems God has a special plan for you. Look at your traits and skills then figure out how would you use them to serve God and serve others, then you will learn to love some the things that you hate.
Comments
if u don't like it, i would like u to have the chance to forgive me for my weakness!
basically hate comes from anger. the more angry u are, the more u hate.
eventually, if u don't treat the anger, u will do something really bad, it will be like a 'wake-up' call and u will really regret it and then u will start to feel more normal again.
unfortunately, this is a bit like a 10am wake-up call when u have classes at 9am. a bit useless.
u will then have to spend the rest of your life feeling bad u smashed an expensive ancient pot, set the house on fire, accidently hit someone so hard they died etc etc.
so u have a choice.
either u agree to be angry (doing nothing means u agree to be angry) and carry on the same till something snaps...
or u decide to do whatever u can to get rid of your anger. it doesn't happen overnight, u have to work at it.
i know all this, because i used to be an angry person (and i have studied quite a lot of psychology).
very few people realised, coz i still looked normal on the outside, but i would swear sometimes at work, and in my dreams i would smash through buildings and break lots of glass. i realised this was not good, so i asked God to help me to deal with my anger.
it took some months, but basically as i prayed and studied the Bible, God helped me to realise all the people i had not truly forgiven in my heart for various things. also he gave me true friends (in church) who loved me despite my weaknesses. i had to ditch some of my pride (there is some left, oops!) and tell my friends and my spiritual father about my failings and my anger, and through various wonderful people i met, the times they prayed with me and the love they gave me, i was able to forgive those i was angry with.
it took several months, and finished with me joining the coptic church :) and since then it is so much easier to see beauty in everything.
or course i still get tempted to go back to my old ways, it's not easy, but you can get rid of hatred if u work at it and ask God.
forgiveness is the key, easy to say, hard to do, but u will never regret it.
may God give u strength.
Nice post mabsoota :)
I may be wrong but I see you as someone who puts great emphasis on perfection and being the best, that is a wonderful thing. This can become problematic since we cannot actually achieve perfection, at least by our own accord. I also see you as a typical hard headed egyptian who listens only to himself and maybe this is why you are so upset, you see that you are exactly like these people and it bothers you.
Believe me brother, I understand you probably more than anyone here. As a convert I am shoved off to the side and marginalized when it comes to activities and things that need to be done in church. Instead of spending money on helping people learn the faith, creating classes or a library of some sort, we buy more land. Are you kidding me? So believe me I understand, the people are the worst part of Christianity hence Ghandi saying: "I would be Christian if it werent for Christians." The sad thing is, as much crap as I get from people here about "how I talk" many of them are the ones that are pushing people like us away and they are too damn self righteous to recognize it.
Dont get so bent out of shape, do what I am trying to do, separate the people from the religion. The people are generally stupid. If you want you can stay in contact with me, PM me and I will give u my email or phone number or something.
Mabsoota, I hope I can do what you did, and actually I plan on majoring in psychology when I go to college next year.
Why?
u have no right to hate yourself. God created you, and then redeemed you with the precious blood of Jesus, so u do not belong to yourself, you belong to God. u r basically saying to God 'this thing u made sucks, u r stupid to love it so much'!
so please remember God loves u and ask Him to help u forgive other people and yourself so that u radiate with His love to everyone. if u accept God knows best, slowly u will be able to accept yourself too, as someone He loves very much, suffered and died for, and someone He has big plans for. may u be filled with His love and glorify His Holy name in your life.
I have dealt with a lot of self-hatred, too. I eventually even had to seek professional help for it, because it ruined relationships that were very important to me and was causing me to sin in many grievous ways. Honestly I'm not even sure if I am completely over it. Hopefully I am at least getting better. Maybe you should also seek professional help in addition to spiritual counsel?
maybe its a calling! :D
First off, I'd like to say you're not alone. I think its safe to say most people have experienced their fare share of anger/hatred. I've come to realize something important though; ANGER IS A CHOICE. TO HATE IS CHOOSING TO HATE (regardless if the reason is valid or not). Everyone I'm sure has been/will be acquainted with upsetting situations. This is absolutely fine, however HOW YOU REACT is, in fact, what makes the difference. For example, when Joseph was wronged by his brothers, I'm sure he was angry. Any normal person in his situation would have been. When he ruled Egypt, he had every opportunity in the world to take his revenge, but instead he CHOSE to be kind and accepting of his family. Granted it's difficult, but Joseph shows us its very possible.
If you're like me, you want to hear things that are tangible; things you can do that are practical and will change things.
These are some things that have helped/are helping me when dealing with anger/hatred..
1. PRAY OFTEN. Frequent prayer will help you pour your heart out to God. He made you and will most definitely heal you! "He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds" Psalm 147:3. It's not pointless nor is it useless. Never underestimate its power. It has made the blind see and the lame walk. I'm sure prayer/faith is the best possible thing you can practice, and by far more affective than anything else.
2. Remember; humans are weak and, more often than not, say things they don't mean. Solomon says it perfectly, "Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you- for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others" Ecclesiates 7:21-22. We all have experienced the "wrath of egyptian gossip". Really, who hasn't? It may be difficult to deal with, but it's not worth letting it change you. Learn to nod politely and ignore. Don't bother yourselves with condescending advice because you're the only person that can change your life.
3. Don't hide behind excuses. I know, I myself am queen of that. If you're angry with someone or something, that's fine, but instead of dwelling in it, figure out how to fix it or get over it before it eats away at you. Saying things like "I would talk to my FOC, but I hate him too" is not a valid reason to not talk to anyone. Look for a different FOC, talk to a friend or someone you trust. If you have no one in your life you can talk to, there is no shame in seeking professional guidance.
4. Get a good support system. Try to surround yourself by more uplifting people. Their positive attitude may rub off on you.
I hope this helps!
You're in my prayers
I heard that hating everything in the world is the reason most people choose and become successful in monasticism....
maybe its a calling! :D
I dont know if it is hate, I think it is a rejection of the way of life. A monk's prayers hold the very fabric of our lives together. They are in constant prayer for us all, so I dont think they could hate us and pray for us. I think DC is just extremely frustrated but I am sure he/she will come out of it, through Gods help, with a valuable lesson.
certainly if you hated everything you would not be a good monk.
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10331.msg126644#msg126644 date=1294500857]
I heard that hating everything in the world is the reason most people choose and become successful in monasticism....
maybe its a calling! :D
I dont know if it is hate, I think it is a rejection of the way of life. A monk's prayers hold the very fabric of our lives together. They are in constant prayer for us all, so I dont think they could hate us and pray for us. I think DC is just extremely frustrated but I am sure he/she will come out of it, through Gods help, with a valuable lesson.
[quote author=mabsoota link=topic=10331.msg126707#msg126707 date=1294608383]
i agree, though i suspect that post was not 100% serious!
certainly if you hated everything you would not be a good monk.
Yea, mabsoota is right i was just kidding haha
i absolutely hate EVERYTHING. there isnt anything to explain. i hate the world, i hate human beings, i hate society, i hate EVERYTHING.
& i bet when someone tries to help me in this topic, im going to tell myself "who does this guy think he is, does he think he has the key of life's troubles or something"
i dont know what to do.
i have so much hatred in me. i would talk to my father of confession but i hate him too.
What I said about you getting married in your other thread is now void, it seems God has a special plan for you. Look at your traits and skills then figure out how would you use them to serve God and serve others, then you will learn to love some the things that you hate.
What I said about you getting married in your other thread is now void, it seems God has a special plan for you. Look at your traits and skills then figure out how would you use them to serve God and serve others, then you will learn to love some the things that you hate.
... Monasticism! ;)... *cough cough*