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COLLEGE... the green light for dating???
Whats your opinion... just because you're in college can you date?
Comments
(Good call, Marenhos Epchois, on Fr. Anthony's lectures -- they're great!)
you seem very worried about marriage coptic boy lol.. listen to this series of lectures by Fr. Anthony Messeh called Real Dating: http://orthodoxsermons.org/search/node/real%2520dating its a very well thought out series and I highly recommend it.
thank you I have actually listened to the whole series.
Why would any certain period of your life be the "green light" to do anything? The right time is God's time, not when it seems like everyone else is doing it. I didn't date in college (too busy), but I dated before and after, and I'm still wifeless. What's more, I'm still alive, proving once and for all that it's not the end of the world to not be dating or married, even if society or your family or whatever makes you think it is. ;) Clearly God has some other things planned for me, and probably also for you...
(Good call, Marenhos Epchois, on Fr. Anthony's lectures -- they're great!)
Ok when do you know its God telling you to do something. I can easily be like "oh... God wants me to do this now" about anything I want and hide behind the power of God that was used over and over and over again in human history for political and personal reasons. When do i know that spiritually God is calling me to do something?
What's God's Will? - Part I
What's God's Will? - Part II
What's God's Will? - Part III
I hope it doesn't seem like I'm dodging your question. I just figure it is better to get your answer from a priest, rather than some goofball on the internet like me.
Gods will has been bothering me for a while now. thanks.
Whats your opinion... just because you're in college can you date?
You only can start dating when u r ready and u cant say.....ok im ready. u have to ask ur FOC
[quote author=dzheremi link=topic=10543.msg128270#msg128270 date=1296017732]
That is a great question, Coptic Boy. If I knew the answer I wouldn't have to ask myself that 700 times a day, and second guess everything...but luckily, Fr. Anthony has also done a series of lectures on that, too! If you liked the relationship ones, maybe these will help you, too:
What's God's Will? - Part I
What's God's Will? - Part II
What's God's Will? - Part III
I hope it doesn't seem like I'm dodging your question. I just figure it is better to get your answer from a priest, rather than some goofball on the internet like me.
man i love Fr. Anthony sooo much i wish i can meet him someday
PPFM
if you have met someone you think you might marry, hang out in a group, get to know the family (or close friends if that person has no Christian family or if they live very far from their family), and if you feel the same way, then talk to your families and priests about getting engaged.
you don't need to go on exclusive dates to the cinema etc. just to see if you might 'fall in love' afterwards. that's not the best way.
if you're over 40 and desperate, talk to your priest and close friends and get advice. for the rest of you, take your time, there is no benefit at all from spending your teens and early 20s running after a girlfriend/boyfriend who you are not likely to marry.
there are so many important things to do with your time, like working on your spiritual life (it is needed before you can be a good husband or wife) or studying, or working and saving up for a wedding or somewhere to live.
[quote author=coptic boy777 link=topic=10543.msg128201#msg128201 date=1296000647]
Whats your opinion... just because you're in college can you date?
You only can start dating when u r ready and u cant say.....ok im ready. u have to ask ur FOC
[quote author=dzheremi link=topic=10543.msg128270#msg128270 date=1296017732]
That is a great question, Coptic Boy. If I knew the answer I wouldn't have to ask myself that 700 times a day, and second guess everything...but luckily, Fr. Anthony has also done a series of lectures on that, too! If you liked the relationship ones, maybe these will help you, too:
What's God's Will? - Part I
What's God's Will? - Part II
What's God's Will? - Part III
I hope it doesn't seem like I'm dodging your question. I just figure it is better to get your answer from a priest, rather than some goofball on the internet like me.
man i love Fr. Anthony sooo much i wish i can meet him someday
PPFM
he goes to a church 1 hour away from me :P
Not only is dating in college premature, but it is a time to focus on your studies and setting the foundation for your future career.
Again, this doesn't apply to everyone. Each case is different. But most egyptians/parents, as much as they want their kids to marry early, want/prefer them to do so (including engagement,dating,etc.) after they finish school, for very practical reasons (how will you support yourselves?).
i never dated. i happened to meet someone at a Christian music festival and we wrote to each other, then later i visited his family (other country) and we got to know each other there. we did get married a bit young (i was 22), but i don't approve of the dating thing.
if you have met someone you think you might marry, hang out in a group, get to know the family (or close friends if that person has no Christian family or if they live very far from their family), and if you feel the same way, then talk to your families and priests about getting engaged.
you don't need to go on exclusive dates to the cinema etc. just to see if you might 'fall in love' afterwards. that's not the best way.
if you're over 40 and desperate, talk to your priest and close friends and get advice. for the rest of you, take your time, there is no benefit at all from spending your teens and early 20s running after a girlfriend/boyfriend who you are not likely to marry.
there are so many important things to do with your time, like working on your spiritual life (it is needed before you can be a good husband or wife) or studying, or working and saving up for a wedding or somewhere to live.
How would you know that person you're interested in is the right person for you if you don't "Date" them and get to know them on a personal level.
mabsoota is seems that you took a guess on the person that you married, how did you know what he was like, how can you marry someone you barely know spent time with.
Finally i think college is the ideal time for dating because as soon as college is over you're gonna be your own independent person and by that time you would be looking for a spouse and if you found someone while in college and dated them. Then you get married!!
[quote author=mabsoota link=topic=10543.msg128376#msg128376 date=1296074123]
i never dated. i happened to meet someone at a Christian music festival and we wrote to each other, then later i visited his family (other country) and we got to know each other there. we did get married a bit young (i was 22), but i don't approve of the dating thing.
if you have met someone you think you might marry, hang out in a group, get to know the family (or close friends if that person has no Christian family or if they live very far from their family), and if you feel the same way, then talk to your families and priests about getting engaged.
you don't need to go on exclusive dates to the cinema etc. just to see if you might 'fall in love' afterwards. that's not the best way.
if you're over 40 and desperate, talk to your priest and close friends and get advice. for the rest of you, take your time, there is no benefit at all from spending your teens and early 20s running after a girlfriend/boyfriend who you are not likely to marry.
there are so many important things to do with your time, like working on your spiritual life (it is needed before you can be a good husband or wife) or studying, or working and saving up for a wedding or somewhere to live.
How would you know that person you're interested in is the right person for you if you don't "Date" them and get to know them on a personal level.
mabsoota is seems that you took a guess on the person that you married, how did you know what he was like, how can you marry someone you barely know spent time with.
Finally i think college is the ideal time for dating because as soon as college is over you're gonna be your own independent person and by that time you would be looking for a spouse and if you found someone while in college and dated them. Then you get married!!
You bring up a good point...
So i dont wanna have "gawaz salonat" meaning you go meet the parents and the person you wanna marry and then in a week you get married. It happens a lot in egypt.
How will you get to know the person before you get married?
Dating is only wrong when you are in it for the wrong reasons (;) you know)
or if you are not ready.....
But generally college just always seemed young... I am going off to college in a couple months, i doubt i will magically be ready to start dating by then....
Guys I dont think the idea of dating is the satanic spawn of Satan Coptic people make it out to be.
Dating is only wrong when you are in it for the wrong reasons (;) you know)
or if you are not ready.....
But generally college just always seemed young... I am going off to college in a couple months, i doubt i will magically be ready to start dating by then....
yeah... I hate it when 2 people are together trying to be physical at all, and just trying to get to know eachother and then people make rumors... well you know what i mean.
so what if youre not in it for the wrong reasons?
[quote author=coptic boy777 link=topic=10543.msg128475#msg128475 date=1296099437]
so what if youre not in it for the wrong reasons?
You might have good intentions...but the devil is cunning and stronger than you and you may not be able to handle the temptations presented to you. I wouldn't take the risk if I were you...
What if i told you ive already taken the risk in a relationship and in 2 years nothing physical happend...
So you are telling me you've had no sexual thoughts, no temptations to have sex, kiss, embrace for a long time or do anything like that?
well i mean everyone gets those thoughts, even if they're not with someone...
thanks