Hey :) This was pretty good. Clearly, you possess a good database of vocabulary stored in your brain. Overall, I liked the idea of the poem and the central theme and message. I will say that some parts of it could flow a little better. Great start. Keep writing, we need more more writers in the world!! ;D
I'll add one more thing...many people do not consider writing poetry, fiction, and plays is an art...it truly is an art. Just as with everything else, writing takes lots of practice. The more you practice, the better you will get at writing. Good luck :)
Comments
This was pretty good. Clearly, you possess a good database of vocabulary stored in your brain. Overall, I liked the idea of the poem and the central theme and message. I will say that some parts of it could flow a little better. Great start. Keep writing, we need more more writers in the world!! ;D
Good luck :)