i have to say that i created an account just for this
Rabenaa yebarek everybody that showed love and care for you Godlovesme
i really have nothing to add after all those great things full of hope that have been said; however I really encourage you to follow up with a Christian counsellor. they are full of grace and you just can't help but talk your mind out to them and they give you such a feeling of peace.
i will strongly encourage you to go on www.drnabilbaky.com he's the pioneer of chritian counselling
please do that and post a question and he will respond to you (but make sure you mention the urgency)
if you want msg me and we can talk (I am following christian counselling program - it's great)
Rabenaa yebarek feeky and remember my weakness in your prayers
I would like to start off by saying, God Loves You,
If you did kill urself I noe that certainly everyone would be in despair, I myself would also be soooooooooooooooooo sad I also dont noe u but to hear that is hurtful, i would think about u each day when i wake up in the morning, when i hav a moment to think.
MY recommendations: -U SRSLY NEED TO WATCH 'TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL' THE MOST UPLIFTING, AMAZIN MESSAGES- IT IS A TV SERIES WITH 9 SERIES.
YOU WOULD NEED TO WATCH ONE EVERYDAY, IT WILL LIFT U UP,
GOD is wherever you are darling, He is watching over you, You need to think to yourself, and surly there r, miracles that God has done for you, there are definetly signs that He sends, also -THE BIBLE READ EVERYSINGLE DAY -TAKE MOST OF URTIME, SPEAKING TO THE ALMIGHTY LORD.
It is just a sin, to think of ever commiting suicide. DONT OK MAY GOD BE WITH YOU
There are so many messages and things i can tell u. There is a reason for abslotuley EVERTHING that happens in the world. THere IS a reason why u r on this earth we humans until it that moment comes dont noe wat we r here for, but sooon ull see. cya THE LORD IS ALWAYS WITH U
God is my witness: I have done things in my life no one has. Perhaps never in truth. I am not allowed by the binding of priesthood to talk about them. But as my brothers and sisters have mentioned, this feeling of extreme self-hatred is from the evil one.
But remember this, for this is my consolation. If you really want to express this extreme emotion you have without sinning against the One who did in truth die for you: Commit yourself to a spiritual, spiritual, suicide. If you want to let out all this great amount of poison from out of you, revolt yourself against this world and all that it holds: Die from this world and give yourself completely to Him who would never reject you. It is extreme, and this may be what the little breath of life of your soul is crying for.
To give you a picture, though I hope you can make your own picture with your own beloved heart, I mean this: Give yourself completely to God. Do what no one has ever done. You want to leave this world and separate from it, do it spiritually. Do things like the following, and see the consolation it brings: Do not ever again open the television of the world, but only fill yourself with what is related in every shape and form to the Lord Jesus Christ, such as the movies of the eternal Stars, the great Saints. Do not go to a movie theater ever again, there where black and white has turned to, at best, grey my beloved sibling. Kill everything inside of you that separates you from God, and spend all the days and nights and years unloading from your heart the warm and sweet tears kept inside, which are so precious to the King... for only a human being created in the image of God can do that. Even angels do not. Fill your room with the heavenly pictures to your liking, and feast your eyes there as much as you want. Do not spend your time anymore in any kind of worldly talk, any kind of friendly gossip, any kind of vain chats that are only to kill time. When you are surrounded by people, secretly speak to your Lover who is waiting for you... who knows, maybe He is even waiting for you in a monastery, in a poor country to do something that is greater than yourself... but what is sure: He is waiting for you in the secret chamber of your heart. When you are driving in the streets, or moving about in a car; let the billboards and advertisements fill the ill minds and be for all the other people... not for you. And when you cannot endure noise, find a quiet place and stay there as long as you want. And when you are filled with peace, tune your ears to the heavenly sounds of your choice, but no other. Do this for everything. For the rest of your life. And you will see the consolation and change Christ will quickly bring into you.
In this way consider your extreme emotions. For the person who does not need this kind of medication, it will sound at variance with him due to how they perceive life and its "pleasantness" as they are deceptively tasting it. But for you, it may be what you are waiting for.
Your emotions, believe it or not, may be a tool the Healer of souls is using to draw you to Him... to draw you to Him instead of all those who are happy with this life, in this life, and find no extreme need for God.
May the Lord Jesus Christ show you His greatness in His love, and bless your life in a way you never expected it... through and out of the great pain you are tasting, most precious child of God.
You are in my prayers, and that of the Mother of God and the hosts of Heaven,
[quote author=Forgiven link=topic=12381.msg145794#msg145794 date=1318028514] To give you a picture, though I hope you can make your own picture with your own beloved heart, I mean this: Give yourself completely to God. Do what no one has ever done. You want to leave this world and separate from it, do it spiritually. Do things like the following, and see the consolation it brings: Do not ever again open the television of the world, but only fill yourself with what is related in every shape and form to the Lord Jesus Christ, such as the movies of the eternal Stars, the great Saints. Do not go to a movie theater ever again, there where black and white has turned to, at best, grey my beloved sibling. Kill everything inside of you that separates you from God, and spend all the days and nights and years unloading from your heart the warm and sweet tears kept inside, which are so precious to the King... for only a human being created in the image of God can do that. Even angels do not. Fill your room with the heavenly pictures to your liking, and feast your eyes there as much as you want. Do not spend your time anymore in any kind of worldly talk, any kind of friendly gossip, any kind of vain chats that are only to kill time. When you are surrounded by people, secretly speak to your Lover who is waiting for you... who knows, maybe He is even waiting for you in a monastery, in a poor country to do something that is greater than yourself... but what is sure: He is waiting for you in the secret chamber of your heart. When you are driving in the streets, or moving about in a car; let the billboards and advertisements fill the ill minds and be for all the other people... not for you. And when you cannot endure noise, find a quiet place and stay there as long as you want. And when you are filled with peace, tune your ears to the heavenly sounds of your choice, but no other. Do this for everything. For the rest of your life. And you will see the consolation and change Christ will quickly bring into you.
Realistically speaking, how practical is all this? What you seem to be advocating is for one to live as a hermit in the world. While for some, they have answered the monastic call, it is not for everyone. We live in the world, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. What is vital is that the world does not live in us. It seems the only true way to fulfill what you suggest is to run off to a monastery or nunnery. That is not for everyone. Surely there must be other, more moderate spiritual exercises that one can practice while still remaining in the world, and not cutting oneself off from it entirely.
I understand your point of veiw that not all people are able to achieve this life because of our society that we have today, but I also want to explain, why I said it was good advise.
One time, I repented everything within my heart and I made a decision and commitment to give my life to christ even though we are in america.
It is practical in every way: -Instead of reading romantic novels, I started to read spiritual books by HHPope Shenouda. -Instead of listening to Lady Gaga or Rihanna or whatever singers that have corrupt songs, I replaced it with listening to spiritual songs and learning hymns. -Instead of watching movies at the theater, I began watching saint movies. -Instead of spending my time with bad friends at school, I found many girls that go to my COC that are also at the same school, and started to get closer. -Instead of telling anything that's bothering me to a friend, I tell in to God. -Instead of submitting to eating all food during fasts, I fasted to see if I could contol myself. -Instead of contributing to the bad things at school, I became idependent, and usually sat with a spiritual book in my hand. -Instead of spending time all the mall with friends, I go to church. -Instead of sleeping in on Sundays, I go to take the blessing of unity with Christ
You might ask: but won't everyone tease you for not being like them? No. In fact, everyone will like you much better because they will see that you are independent. Dont be mean and say "Im just being independent" but love everyone because Christ has made them for a reason. In truth, the devil might send you people who are opposing everything you do and make fun of you, but, thats where trust in God comes from.
You might also ask: What do I benefit from it? I am still too young.
You are never too young or too old to start a relationship with God. When you forget the world and its corrup nature, you realize that world has no value. You start to have a relationship with God, full of peace and Love and gentleness. You give God your everything and he is always with you. You begin to have this desire to grow in your relationship, to serve him in anyway you can. In all of your thoughts, you think of God. When you fall you think of God and try to get up and reach further because you trust in him.
It will come to a point that because you love God so much, you will love anyone and everything that was made by God. This means you will never complain and you will never hate anyone. You will never fear anything because you know the God the almighty always has your back.
Then at another point, you won't feel that God is with you, all of the love that you felt was vanished and your left with a choice: either to be faithful and loyal to God, or to go deep into sn again. This time can be tricky tricky for some, like it was for me. Some people will cry and say "Why has God left me after we built this strong relationship?" I can say that God has never left you, he is watching to see if you continue the relationship. Others will say "I feel confused and like I don't trust God." At this, the devil makes you think that you don't trust God, but in fact you do. The devil will make you misrable during this time...he will do whatever he can to drop the relationship you have with God.
How? By scaring you. In dreams, in your life, in your feeling. His goal is to make you drown from problems. He will give you more temptations, and when he finds one that works well with you, he will stick to it. THIS IS CRITICAL. You Have the choice to: 1) Plead for gods strength and trust in him 2) Submit into sin and don't trust in God.
God wants you to do #1. The devil, however wants you to do #2. You have to do all that you can to ge past this with trusting God. Its the only way.
Another question: How long is it to achieve this state? Have you ever heard with every day you spend your life with God its is counted, and everyday you don't spend with God its as if you didn't live it? That is the point. I made the commitment when I was in seventh grade and now I am in tenth grade. There were many days I didn't spend with God in between. It depends on you if you want to make the choice of spending that day with God or not, and each day will count.
Also: How did you start growing with your relationship? All it took was one decision and an action to follow it. I started to research stites with christian books I can relate to, download songs I can easily memorize and sing in trouble, and sermons I can listen too when I need advise. This is where the verse "seek and you shall find, ask and it will be given to you, knock and it will be opened to you" comes in. All you have to do iss work hard to find God and understand him, and he will give you so much grace, joy, love.
When you work with God to leave the world, you will notice that you grow strong in the vitues and friuts of the spirit. You will be amazed when you analyze yourself, how your actions reflect the fruit of the spirit.
When you gain love of God, he will grant you so many blessings, he will give you understanding to deal with others around you. He will always talk to you through anything around you. He will give you the peace in your heart no one can ever aquire except from god Himself.
You see, all of this is very practical in ones life. You don't have to be a monk or a nun, or a saint to leave the world. Leaving the world just simply means to grow in christ.
God bless you, Coptic Strength. That is fantastic. Keep being a good example of the way we should all be living (including especially me), no matter how old we are or where we live. :)
Hello Beloved brother/sister in Christ. Do you hear that? Although I dont know you, you are my beloved brother/sister in Christ. God loves us beyond our human comprehension and He taught us that we are one body in Him, please don't take away from the Body of Christ. You are hurting HIM more than anyone when you think this way. Because the soul you have right now was bought by the blood of Christ even the thoughts to kill yourself are like spitting in our Almighty God's face. You are precious in HIS sight, you are especially important to him. Job went through so many struggles but he remained faithful to God and in the end God made the problems pass and Jobs life was blessed and beautiful. Everything you are going through EVERYTHING Will pass.
You will make the devil who is putting you through these problems rejoice if you do this horrific thing.
In Luke 15:10 our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ says " Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
bu tif you do this terrible thing, the angels will cry, do you know why? Because your soul will be lost to the devil and there is worst suffering than you ever endured on Earth because you destroyed the soul that God Himself came into human form to give life for. Through the Cross, He overcame death (Satan). So by Him you can overcome anything, by the power of His Cross you can fight this horrible situation. God is there no matter what don't lose hope in your Creator, stick by HIM like Job and you will overcome. Because the One who is leading you is the One who overcame Satan, so through God you will also overcome EVERY problem.
God HIMSELF promises in Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP HOPE MY BELOVED BROTHER/SISTER!!!!!!
"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You." -psalm 139:17,18
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP.
FIRST OF ALL YOUR BODY IS NOT EVEN YOURS , IT IS BOUGHT BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. Can you imagine God Almighty, the Lord of All chose willingly because of HIS LOVE to die for you, so you could have hope of eternal life with HIM and the devil wouldn't have control anymore. Please don't give the devil control, God who overcame death, can help you overcome this situation. Please brother/sister don't do this thing don't even consider it at all. Rebuke the devil and all the things he is telling you. Carry your cross and know its strength, that the devil fears it because God has overcome the devil through it. If you don't have a cross on your neck, get one and begin to Rebuke the devil by saying this prayer that the Ethiopian/Eritrean Orthodox Church says with their cross: The Cross is our Power The Cross is our Strength The Cross is our Redemption The Cross is the Salvation of our Souls -Amen- SAY THIS with ALL YOUR FAITH. GOD overcame death(satan) through the Cross, this means when you have faith in His Cross's power, you can also overcome satan anytime. DON'T LOSE HOPE. the devil will try to make you doubt but rebuke Him and don't listen to his discouraging words. GOD says you have power through His Cross so you do.
GO TO A CHURCH AND SPEAK WITH THE PRIEST ABOUT YOUR WHOLE SITUATION, ASK GOD TO HELP YOU WITH THE INTERCESSION OF THE SAINTS. DON'T LET YOURSELF BE IN DEVIL'S PUPPET. By ending the precious life God gave you, you will cause the devil to rejoice and the angels to cry for sadness over your soul.
GET A STRONG CHRISTIAN FRIEND and build a community that supports you.Its out there go get it and express to the priest that you are looking for this. ALSO DON'T put all your hope in people, Make sure ALL your hope is In GOD ALMIGHTY He will never disappoint you, just remain faithful and know HE IS GOD.
Have faith in God, He will bring you through and overcome your situation like He overcame death (satan) by His Holy Cross.
DON'T MAXIMIZE YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING IN THE AFTERLIFE BY KILLING YOUR BODY WHICH IS NOT EVEN YOURS BUT BOUGHT BY THE HOLY BLOOD OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.
WHEN YOU BECAME A CHRISTIAN, YOU DID IT TO HAVE A NEW LIFE DON'T CAUSE YOURSELF TO SUFFER A GREATER DEATH BY DOING THIS TERRIBLE DEED. GOD LOVES YOU TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO END THIS WAY, DON'T EVEN CONSIDER IT. REBUKE THE DEVIL FROM YOUR MIND AND YOUR LIFE. GIVE YOUR SITUATION TO GOD, ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU AND HE WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH, I will keep you in my prayer beloved brother/sister in Christ.
May the Prayers of the our Mother of Light St.Mary be with you and the Prayers of All the Saints and Angels. Amen
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=12381.msg144997#msg144997 date=1316643900] I am seriously considering suicide. I have many internal issues that I can't discuss with anyone that I have been struggling with and I really can't handle it anymore. Please pray for me.
I am deeply sorry to hear the burdens in your life are causing you so much sadness.
Can you take a vacation for a few weeks? Perhaps that would help.
God be with you and give you the peace and joy that your heart is longing for.
[quote author=geomike link=topic=12381.msg146272#msg146272 date=1319074379] so GodLovesMe, what's going on, mind on updating us on your situation?
I'm extremely depressed :'( There's a lot going on right now...I'm trying to ease my anxiety and have more faith in God but I just don't know...there's too many important things on the line...actually, it would be a miracle if anything went right...and if they go wrong, I just don't know what to do anymore :'(
Zoxsasi, Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=12381.msg146302#msg146302 date=1319136231] Zoxsasi, Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
lol... nice answer, but don't you think your life is more important than school. A vacation isn't just about having fun, its about distancing yourself from your problems or things causing you problems.
I regret deeply not taking a vacation when I was in your position.
[quote author=Zoxsasi link=topic=12381.msg146330#msg146330 date=1319171284] [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=12381.msg146302#msg146302 date=1319136231] Zoxsasi, Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
lol... nice answer, but don't you think your life is more important than school. A vacation isn't just about having fun, its about distancing yourself from your problems or things causing you problems.
I regret deeply not taking a vacation when I was in your position.
You know there is such a thing as spiritual vacation right? It's so convenient you can do it in your house, or where ever you are. Just assign a certain day that all you will do is read the bible and pray. That's just all you do. It sounds kind of boring and cheesy, but honestly it works and takes away a lot of problems. I say this from experience. My FOC told me to do it, and i don't regret doing it at all.
[quote author=geomike link=topic=12381.msg146331#msg146331 date=1319173236] [quote author=Zoxsasi link=topic=12381.msg146330#msg146330 date=1319171284] [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=12381.msg146302#msg146302 date=1319136231] Zoxsasi, Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
lol... nice answer, but don't you think your life is more important than school. A vacation isn't just about having fun, its about distancing yourself from your problems or things causing you problems.
I regret deeply not taking a vacation when I was in your position.
You know there is such a thing as spiritual vacation right? It's so convenient you can do it in your house, or where ever you are. Just assign a certain day that all you will do is read the bible and pray. That's just all you do. It sounds kind of boring and cheesy, but honestly it works and takes away a lot of problems. I say this from experience. My FOC told me to do it, and i don't regret doing it at all.
Geomike,
That does indeed sound very good, however, i would recommend that even a spiritual retreat would be better.
I really think, if someone is depressed, to the point of suicide, that they ought to not be preoccupied with school etc, but with their own well being.
Of course Geomike, a spiritual vacation is indeed what is needed as suicide is a spiritual problem. Its not a physical one. People don't commit suicide because their iPhone 4S doesn't tell them the time when they ask it to.
But - perhaps its best they get out of the house, and have that spiritual exercise in a monastery, or in a retreat of some kind... I regret not doing that.
I know that focusing on your studies is good, and responsible, but we are always studying.. its endless, but if a problem becomes deep rooted in your heart, its very hard the problems it causes later on.
I would focus on solving this issue that's causing you to be depressed and then worry about your school later.
Yes, indeed God loves you dearly. His love is so strong and so big that He can deeply love each one so personally and make her/him the center of His love. So God loves you and you really are the center of His love and His attention. How can we feel that His love is so close to us? He makes the first approach so He knocks at our door, the door of our heart. We can easily let Him in our heart by praying, and the smallest prayer is OK.
But, an evil voice annoys us and says: nobody's there, I am so deeply drowned in sin and pride, since God resists the proud and the sinners so He isn't here.. that's all deception from the evil one who injects our minds with sour ideas to let us shut our heart and become hopeless. But God is always available for us full of love.
We experience many situations that make us think we're losers, avoided and disliked - we come to think we're neglected and since we struggle with that, knowing we deserve better attention and love, we react by convincing ourselves that the others are dull and ignorant about love. So we can't help have pride: it's a natural reaction when we are (or think we are) refused.
More evil ideas whisper in our ears, because we feel guilty: that perhaps we're actually the cause of our own pains and make such mistakes that let others hate us, and we become more frustrated. If we could really feel we're loved these reactions will vanish, until that happens our minds decide we'll love nobody but ourselves.
Can we blame our relatives or our parents for being so busy coming back home so tired that they can't even sit and speak with us for many weeks? or help us solve our young yet important problems? or show us some love and attention? I wonder.. anyway my sincere advice to everybody is: avoid being so totally swallowed by your responsibilities and give some room for your kids and their feelings. Parents raised this way may sometime fall in this same trap with their own kids.. usually at the wrong times, when their kids need them most - even though they care for and love their children. The other problem is that the devil may be the cause of these situations as he uses them.
It's a vicious circle I went through myself: many times I felt neglected when a kid. I thought my busy parents were not giving me any attention. I did not then understand well God's love and how great He is.
Only God can be loved without any fear of neglect, because humans (including us) are weak and overloaded. You can trust only God a 100%, He will never change His love or fail you, for ever. His love is everlasting, He's our permanent and very loving Father.
Some little trivial things may help us feel God's love again when we're so tired and have shut our heart, like this clip. It reminds me I am actually nothing and totally helpless without Him, that I cannot succeed in any matter without His blessing and His supporting love - I can have tears in my eyes when I listen to it:
Reading Pslams is a very powerful way to draw nearer to God again in the midst of a strom, to feel His love and His warm presence. I think it is us who draw away from Him not Him from us.
Pray also that God changes our possibly stony hearts into hearts of real flesh, so lets love others, wisely and guided by God, and some of these will soon love you in return - while others may not and it's OK.
You guys donot know how your replies and posts help alot! I am young and LOVE YOU GUYS' advice. For Godlovesme I find it really ironic that you know that God loves you and you are still thinking about that... There were so many great adivces given already but I am give you one. Donot do it becasue simply if you did it you are going to lose any chance of going to heaven if didnot you still have a chance to repent and remember GOD LOVES YOU.
I know this post is kind of old and I want to see how GodLovesMe is going. I hope you are ok look if you don't have anyone around you to talk to I'm sure you always have one person God. Tell him God I am falling into sin. Maybe these thoughts are just coming into your head so that the devil can let that happen so he has someone with him in hell or something when these thoughts come into my head I straight away just think of how horrible hell is. You must pray over these issues and talk to God like he's your best friend
I hope your ok and feel free to pm me is you want to talk
Comments
i have to say that i created an account just for this
Rabenaa yebarek everybody that showed love and care for you Godlovesme
i really have nothing to add after all those great things full of hope that have been said; however I really encourage you to follow up with a Christian counsellor. they are full of grace and you just can't help but talk your mind out to them and they give you such a feeling of peace.
i will strongly encourage you to go on www.drnabilbaky.com he's the pioneer of chritian counselling
please do that and post a question and he will respond to you (but make sure you mention the urgency)
if you want msg me and we can talk (I am following christian counselling program - it's great)
Rabenaa yebarek feeky and remember my weakness in your prayers
I would like to start off by saying, God Loves You,
If you did kill urself I noe that certainly everyone would be in despair, I myself would also be soooooooooooooooooo sad I also dont noe u but to hear that is hurtful, i would think about u each day when i wake up in the morning, when i hav a moment to think.
MY recommendations:
-U SRSLY NEED TO WATCH 'TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL' THE MOST UPLIFTING, AMAZIN MESSAGES- IT IS A TV SERIES WITH 9 SERIES.
YOU WOULD NEED TO WATCH ONE EVERYDAY, IT WILL LIFT U UP,
GOD is wherever you are darling, He is watching over you, You need to think to yourself, and surly there r, miracles that God has done for you, there are definetly signs that He sends, also
-THE BIBLE READ EVERYSINGLE DAY
-TAKE MOST OF URTIME, SPEAKING TO THE ALMIGHTY LORD.
It is just a sin, to think of ever commiting suicide.
DONT OK
MAY GOD BE WITH YOU
There are so many messages and things i can tell u. There is a reason for abslotuley EVERTHING that happens in the world. THere IS a reason why u r on this earth we humans until it that moment comes dont noe wat we r here for, but sooon ull see.
cya THE LORD IS ALWAYS WITH U
also u made many great posts here, we love u
:)
My blessed one,
God is my witness: I have done things in my life no one has. Perhaps never in truth. I am not allowed by the binding of priesthood to talk about them. But as my brothers and sisters have mentioned, this feeling of extreme self-hatred is from the evil one.
But remember this, for this is my consolation. If you really want to express this extreme emotion you have without sinning against the One who did in truth die for you: Commit yourself to a spiritual, spiritual, suicide. If you want to let out all this great amount of poison from out of you, revolt yourself against this world and all that it holds: Die from this world and give yourself completely to Him who would never reject you. It is extreme, and this may be what the little breath of life of your soul is crying for.
To give you a picture, though I hope you can make your own picture with your own beloved heart, I mean this: Give yourself completely to God. Do what no one has ever done. You want to leave this world and separate from it, do it spiritually. Do things like the following, and see the consolation it brings: Do not ever again open the television of the world, but only fill yourself with what is related in every shape and form to the Lord Jesus Christ, such as the movies of the eternal Stars, the great Saints. Do not go to a movie theater ever again, there where black and white has turned to, at best, grey my beloved sibling. Kill everything inside of you that separates you from God, and spend all the days and nights and years unloading from your heart the warm and sweet tears kept inside, which are so precious to the King... for only a human being created in the image of God can do that. Even angels do not. Fill your room with the heavenly pictures to your liking, and feast your eyes there as much as you want. Do not spend your time anymore in any kind of worldly talk, any kind of friendly gossip, any kind of vain chats that are only to kill time. When you are surrounded by people, secretly speak to your Lover who is waiting for you... who knows, maybe He is even waiting for you in a monastery, in a poor country to do something that is greater than yourself... but what is sure: He is waiting for you in the secret chamber of your heart. When you are driving in the streets, or moving about in a car; let the billboards and advertisements fill the ill minds and be for all the other people... not for you. And when you cannot endure noise, find a quiet place and stay there as long as you want. And when you are filled with peace, tune your ears to the heavenly sounds of your choice, but no other. Do this for everything. For the rest of your life. And you will see the consolation and change Christ will quickly bring into you.
In this way consider your extreme emotions. For the person who does not need this kind of medication, it will sound at variance with him due to how they perceive life and its "pleasantness" as they are deceptively tasting it. But for you, it may be what you are waiting for.
Your emotions, believe it or not, may be a tool the Healer of souls is using to draw you to Him... to draw you to Him instead of all those who are happy with this life, in this life, and find no extreme need for God.
May the Lord Jesus Christ show you His greatness in His love, and bless your life in a way you never expected it... through and out of the great pain you are tasting, most precious child of God.
You are in my prayers, and that of the Mother of God and the hosts of Heaven,
In Christ Jesus.
The most best advise I ever read: this is because every word of it is true, which I know.
Thank you for posting, because you not only helped a beloved soul whom we all love, but others too.
[quote author=Forgiven link=topic=12381.msg145794#msg145794 date=1318028514]
To give you a picture, though I hope you can make your own picture with your own beloved heart, I mean this: Give yourself completely to God. Do what no one has ever done. You want to leave this world and separate from it, do it spiritually. Do things like the following, and see the consolation it brings: Do not ever again open the television of the world, but only fill yourself with what is related in every shape and form to the Lord Jesus Christ, such as the movies of the eternal Stars, the great Saints. Do not go to a movie theater ever again, there where black and white has turned to, at best, grey my beloved sibling. Kill everything inside of you that separates you from God, and spend all the days and nights and years unloading from your heart the warm and sweet tears kept inside, which are so precious to the King... for only a human being created in the image of God can do that. Even angels do not. Fill your room with the heavenly pictures to your liking, and feast your eyes there as much as you want. Do not spend your time anymore in any kind of worldly talk, any kind of friendly gossip, any kind of vain chats that are only to kill time. When you are surrounded by people, secretly speak to your Lover who is waiting for you... who knows, maybe He is even waiting for you in a monastery, in a poor country to do something that is greater than yourself... but what is sure: He is waiting for you in the secret chamber of your heart. When you are driving in the streets, or moving about in a car; let the billboards and advertisements fill the ill minds and be for all the other people... not for you. And when you cannot endure noise, find a quiet place and stay there as long as you want. And when you are filled with peace, tune your ears to the heavenly sounds of your choice, but no other. Do this for everything. For the rest of your life. And you will see the consolation and change Christ will quickly bring into you.
Realistically speaking, how practical is all this? What you seem to be advocating is for one to live as a hermit in the world. While for some, they have answered the monastic call, it is not for everyone. We live in the world, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. What is vital is that the world does not live in us. It seems the only true way to fulfill what you suggest is to run off to a monastery or nunnery. That is not for everyone. Surely there must be other, more moderate spiritual exercises that one can practice while still remaining in the world, and not cutting oneself off from it entirely.
I understand your point of veiw that not all people are able to achieve this life because of our society that we have today, but I also want to explain, why I said it was good advise.
One time, I repented everything within my heart and I made a decision and commitment to give my life to christ even though we are in america.
It is practical in every way:
-Instead of reading romantic novels, I started to read spiritual books by HHPope Shenouda.
-Instead of listening to Lady Gaga or Rihanna or whatever singers that have corrupt songs, I replaced it with listening to spiritual songs and learning hymns.
-Instead of watching movies at the theater, I began watching saint movies.
-Instead of spending my time with bad friends at school, I found many girls that go to my COC that are also at the same school, and started to get closer.
-Instead of telling anything that's bothering me to a friend, I tell in to God.
-Instead of submitting to eating all food during fasts, I fasted to see if I could contol myself.
-Instead of contributing to the bad things at school, I became idependent, and usually sat with a spiritual book in my hand.
-Instead of spending time all the mall with friends, I go to church.
-Instead of sleeping in on Sundays, I go to take the blessing of unity with Christ
You might ask: but won't everyone tease you for not being like them?
No. In fact, everyone will like you much better because they will see that you are independent. Dont be mean and say "Im just being independent" but love everyone because Christ has made them for a reason. In truth, the devil might send you people who are opposing everything you do and make fun of you, but, thats where trust in God comes from.
You might also ask: What do I benefit from it? I am still too young.
You are never too young or too old to start a relationship with God. When you forget the world and its corrup nature, you realize that world has no value. You start to have a relationship with God, full of peace and Love and gentleness. You give God your everything and he is always with you. You begin to have this desire to grow in your relationship, to serve him in anyway you can. In all of your thoughts, you think of God. When you fall you think of God and try to get up and reach further because you trust in him.
It will come to a point that because you love God so much, you will love anyone and everything that was made by God. This means you will never complain and you will never hate anyone. You will never fear anything because you know the God the almighty always has your back.
Then at another point, you won't feel that God is with you, all of the love that you felt was vanished and your left with a choice: either to be faithful and loyal to God, or to go deep into sn again. This time can be tricky tricky for some, like it was for me. Some people will cry and say "Why has God left me after we built this strong relationship?" I can say that God has never left you, he is watching to see if you continue the relationship. Others will say "I feel confused and like I don't trust God." At this, the devil makes you think that you don't trust God, but in fact you do. The devil will make you misrable during this time...he will do whatever he can to drop the relationship you have with God.
How?
By scaring you. In dreams, in your life, in your feeling. His goal is to make you drown from problems. He will give you more temptations, and when he finds one that works well with you, he will stick to it.
THIS IS CRITICAL. You Have the choice to:
1) Plead for gods strength and trust in him
2) Submit into sin and don't trust in God.
God wants you to do #1. The devil, however wants you to do #2. You have to do all that you can to ge past this with trusting God. Its the only way.
Another question: How long is it to achieve this state?
Have you ever heard with every day you spend your life with God its is counted, and everyday you don't spend with God its as if you didn't live it? That is the point. I made the commitment when I was in seventh grade and now I am in tenth grade. There were many days I didn't spend with God in between. It depends on you if you want to make the choice of spending that day with God or not, and each day will count.
Also: How did you start growing with your relationship?
All it took was one decision and an action to follow it. I started to research stites with christian books I can relate to, download songs I can easily memorize and sing in trouble, and sermons I can listen too when I need advise. This is where the verse "seek and you shall find, ask and it will be given to you, knock and it will be opened to you" comes in. All you have to do iss work hard to find God and understand him, and he will give you so much grace, joy, love.
When you work with God to leave the world, you will notice that you grow strong in the vitues and friuts of the spirit. You will be amazed when you analyze yourself, how your actions reflect the fruit of the spirit.
When you gain love of God, he will grant you so many blessings, he will give you understanding to deal with others around you. He will always talk to you through anything around you. He will give you the peace in your heart no one can ever aquire except from god Himself.
You see, all of this is very practical in ones life. You don't have to be a monk or a nun, or a saint to leave the world. Leaving the world just simply means to grow in christ.
Do you hear that? Although I dont know you, you are my beloved brother/sister in Christ. God loves us beyond our human comprehension and He taught us that we are one body in Him, please don't take away from the Body of Christ.
You are hurting HIM more than anyone when you think this way. Because the soul you have right now was bought by the blood of Christ even the thoughts to kill yourself are like spitting in our Almighty God's face. You are precious in HIS sight, you are especially important to him. Job went through so many struggles but he remained faithful to God and in the end God made the problems pass and Jobs life was blessed and beautiful. Everything you are going through EVERYTHING Will pass.
You will make the devil who is putting you through these problems rejoice if you do this horrific thing.
In Luke 15:10 our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ says " Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
bu tif you do this terrible thing, the angels will cry, do you know why? Because your soul will be lost to the devil and there is worst suffering than you ever endured on Earth because you destroyed the soul that God Himself came into human form to give life for. Through the Cross, He overcame death (Satan). So by Him you can overcome anything, by the power of His Cross you can fight this horrible situation. God is there no matter what don't lose hope in your Creator, stick by HIM like Job and you will overcome. Because the One who is leading you is the One who overcame Satan, so through God you will also overcome EVERY problem.
God HIMSELF promises in Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP HOPE MY BELOVED BROTHER/SISTER!!!!!!
"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You."
-psalm 139:17,18
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP.
FIRST OF ALL YOUR BODY IS NOT EVEN YOURS , IT IS BOUGHT BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. Can you imagine God Almighty, the Lord of All chose willingly because of HIS LOVE to die for you, so you could have hope of eternal life with HIM and the devil wouldn't have control anymore. Please don't give the devil control, God who overcame death, can help you overcome this situation. Please brother/sister don't do this thing don't even consider it at all. Rebuke the devil and all the things he is telling you. Carry your cross and know its strength, that the devil fears it because God has overcome the devil through it. If you don't have a cross on your neck, get one and begin to Rebuke the devil by saying this prayer that the Ethiopian/Eritrean Orthodox Church says with their cross:
The Cross is our Power
The Cross is our Strength
The Cross is our Redemption
The Cross is the Salvation of our Souls
-Amen-
SAY THIS with ALL YOUR FAITH. GOD overcame death(satan) through the Cross, this means when you have faith in His Cross's power, you can also overcome satan anytime. DON'T LOSE HOPE. the devil will try to make you doubt but rebuke Him and don't listen to his discouraging words. GOD says you have power through His Cross so you do.
GO TO A CHURCH AND SPEAK WITH THE PRIEST ABOUT YOUR WHOLE SITUATION, ASK GOD TO HELP YOU WITH THE INTERCESSION OF THE SAINTS. DON'T LET YOURSELF BE IN DEVIL'S PUPPET. By ending the precious life God gave you, you will cause the devil to rejoice and the angels to cry for sadness over your soul.
GET A STRONG CHRISTIAN FRIEND and build a community that supports you.Its out there go get it and express to the priest that you are looking for this. ALSO DON'T put all your hope in people, Make sure ALL your hope is In GOD ALMIGHTY He will never disappoint you, just remain faithful and know HE IS GOD.
Have faith in God, He will bring you through and overcome your situation like He overcame death (satan) by His Holy Cross.
DON'T MAXIMIZE YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING IN THE AFTERLIFE BY KILLING YOUR BODY WHICH IS NOT EVEN YOURS BUT BOUGHT BY THE HOLY BLOOD OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.
WHEN YOU BECAME A CHRISTIAN, YOU DID IT TO HAVE A NEW LIFE DON'T CAUSE YOURSELF TO SUFFER A GREATER DEATH BY DOING THIS TERRIBLE DEED.
GOD LOVES YOU TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO END THIS WAY, DON'T EVEN CONSIDER IT. REBUKE THE DEVIL FROM YOUR MIND AND YOUR LIFE. GIVE YOUR SITUATION TO GOD, ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU AND HE WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH, I will keep you in my prayer beloved brother/sister in Christ.
May the Prayers of the our Mother of Light St.Mary be with you and the Prayers of All the Saints and Angels.
Amen
Love your sister in Christ
I am seriously considering suicide. I have many internal issues that I can't discuss with anyone that I have been struggling with and I really can't handle it anymore. Please pray for me.
I am deeply sorry to hear the burdens in your life are causing you so much sadness.
Can you take a vacation for a few weeks? Perhaps that would help.
God be with you and give you the peace and joy that your heart is longing for.
[quote author=geomike link=topic=12381.msg146272#msg146272 date=1319074379]
so GodLovesMe, what's going on, mind on updating us on your situation?
I'm extremely depressed :'( There's a lot going on right now...I'm trying to ease my anxiety and have more faith in God but I just don't know...there's too many important things on the line...actually, it would be a miracle if anything went right...and if they go wrong, I just don't know what to do anymore :'(
Zoxsasi,
Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
I really really pray for your comfort, Godlovesme.
And here is the extended version:
It just reminds me of the Greatness of the God who loves us.
Zoxsasi,
Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
lol... nice answer, but don't you think your life is more important than school. A vacation isn't just about having fun, its about distancing yourself from your problems or things causing you problems.
I regret deeply not taking a vacation when I was in your position.
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=12381.msg146302#msg146302 date=1319136231]
Zoxsasi,
Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
lol... nice answer, but don't you think your life is more important than school. A vacation isn't just about having fun, its about distancing yourself from your problems or things causing you problems.
I regret deeply not taking a vacation when I was in your position.
You know there is such a thing as spiritual vacation right? It's so convenient you can do it in your house, or where ever you are. Just assign a certain day that all you will do is read the bible and pray. That's just all you do. It sounds kind of boring and cheesy, but honestly it works and takes away a lot of problems. I say this from experience. My FOC told me to do it, and i don't regret doing it at all.
[quote author=Zoxsasi link=topic=12381.msg146330#msg146330 date=1319171284]
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=12381.msg146302#msg146302 date=1319136231]
Zoxsasi,
Vacations are not an option...I have too much school...thanks.
lol... nice answer, but don't you think your life is more important than school. A vacation isn't just about having fun, its about distancing yourself from your problems or things causing you problems.
I regret deeply not taking a vacation when I was in your position.
You know there is such a thing as spiritual vacation right? It's so convenient you can do it in your house, or where ever you are. Just assign a certain day that all you will do is read the bible and pray. That's just all you do. It sounds kind of boring and cheesy, but honestly it works and takes away a lot of problems. I say this from experience. My FOC told me to do it, and i don't regret doing it at all.
Geomike,
That does indeed sound very good, however, i would recommend that even a spiritual retreat would be better.
I really think, if someone is depressed, to the point of suicide, that they ought to not be preoccupied with school etc, but with their own well being.
Of course Geomike, a spiritual vacation is indeed what is needed as suicide is a spiritual problem. Its not a physical one. People don't commit suicide because their iPhone 4S doesn't tell them the time when they ask it to.
But - perhaps its best they get out of the house, and have that spiritual exercise in a monastery, or in a retreat of some kind... I regret not doing that.
I know that focusing on your studies is good, and responsible, but we are always studying.. its endless, but if a problem becomes deep rooted in your heart, its very hard the problems it causes later on.
I would focus on solving this issue that's causing you to be depressed and then worry about your school later.
Yes, indeed God loves you dearly. His love is so strong and so big that He can deeply love each one so personally and make her/him the center of His love. So God loves you and you really are the center of His love and His attention. How can we feel that His love is so close to us? He makes the first approach so He knocks at our door, the door of our heart. We can easily let Him in our heart by praying, and the smallest prayer is OK.
But, an evil voice annoys us and says: nobody's there, I am so deeply drowned in sin and pride, since God resists the proud and the sinners so He isn't here.. that's all deception from the evil one who injects our minds with sour ideas to let us shut our heart and become hopeless. But God is always available for us full of love.
We experience many situations that make us think we're losers, avoided and disliked - we come to think we're neglected and since we struggle with that, knowing we deserve better attention and love, we react by convincing ourselves that the others are dull and ignorant about love. So we can't help have pride: it's a natural reaction when we are (or think we are) refused.
More evil ideas whisper in our ears, because we feel guilty: that perhaps we're actually the cause of our own pains and make such mistakes that let others hate us, and we become more frustrated. If we could really feel we're loved these reactions will vanish, until that happens our minds decide we'll love nobody but ourselves.
Can we blame our relatives or our parents for being so busy coming back home so tired that they can't even sit and speak with us for many weeks? or help us solve our young yet important problems? or show us some love and attention? I wonder.. anyway my sincere advice to everybody is: avoid being so totally swallowed by your responsibilities and give some room for your kids and their feelings. Parents raised this way may sometime fall in this same trap with their own kids.. usually at the wrong times, when their kids need them most - even though they care for and love their children. The other problem is that the devil may be the cause of these situations as he uses them.
It's a vicious circle I went through myself: many times I felt neglected when a kid. I thought my busy parents were not giving me any attention. I did not then understand well God's love and how great He is.
Only God can be loved without any fear of neglect, because humans (including us) are weak and overloaded. You can trust only God a 100%, He will never change His love or fail you, for ever. His love is everlasting, He's our permanent and very loving Father.
Some little trivial things may help us feel God's love again when we're so tired and have shut our heart, like this clip. It reminds me I am actually nothing and totally helpless without Him, that I cannot succeed in any matter without His blessing and His supporting love - I can have tears in my eyes when I listen to it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goqytfAOstw
Reading Pslams is a very powerful way to draw nearer to God again in the midst of a strom, to feel His love and His warm presence. I think it is us who draw away from Him not Him from us.
Pray also that God changes our possibly stony hearts into hearts of real flesh, so lets love others, wisely and guided by God, and some of these will soon love you in return - while others may not and it's OK.
GBU
I hope your ok and feel free to pm me is you want to talk
God bless ++