In the past few months I met someone that I absolutely adore. He is a very active member in his church and so am I. We are just now getting to know each other very well and I couldnt be any happier. When I went off to college my spiritually life had went downhill and I loved to go out and party a lot. Since then I have completely changed for the better. I have bulit a better relationship with God and my Priest. I have also started to take Holy Communion and began confessional sessions my priest. I am scared that a will be judged for my past and not the person I am today. What should I do? Any suggestions?
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Congratulations on being Resurrected in Christ. Immediately after being raised from the sleep of sin, the devil begins to remind of how hideous your sin was. You find little comfort, and will feel dejected much. Trust me, I've been there, and I've felt the sever pain, which I am sure you have felt, feel, or will feel. After you repent and confess, there is nothing left to haunt you. they are empty memories, and must be disposed of.They are what my spiritual father calls, "The memory of evil entailing death." However, it is important to keep your sin before you at all times. To remember the pain you felt because of it, and to remember God's mercy in saving you from it. That way, you will not return to it. In keeping your sin in front of you, do not do so constantly so as to not degrade yourself. However, when you are puffed up by pride, remember that if the person in front of you knew of your past, they would not be saying that about you.
Basically, what I am trying to say, is that excessive grief for your sins is from the devil, but nothing will agitate the devil more than a) repentance and b) using his own trick against him. So do both! Repent, and use the grief of your sin to avoid falling back into it, and to avoid pride. The only thing you need to beware of is excessive grief. It is a sin, and it is proof of non-confidence in God's promise of forgiveness, and in his life giving cross.
Continually repent, continually take communion, and feed yourself spiritually by means of prayer, bible reading, spiritual readings, hymns, and spiritual company.
God Bless You
RetunOrthodoxy
Edit: sorry, failed at making the hyperlink ;D
we are on the same boat my friend, but if a person loves, he will love you with your imperfections, its the same as saying I love this guy, but I hate how he has a mole on the back of his neck! now I cant be with him!... does that make sense?!
I know many girls that did "wrong" who men would wish and pray to be with one of them after seeing how they changed, I personally know a few girls like that... through them, I see successful houses, great children, and very happy husbands...
but the devil know how to play his game well, so he will remind the husband of his wife's past, in turn, the husband yells and judges his wife, in turn, the wife goes and becomes depressed.
I see that cycle many times, but if the man fully loves her, he will learn how to deal with it, that the next time the devil comes and messes with him, he will only remember his love to that woman... so in conclusion you have to make sure that person loves you, and will always be with you, and be ready to put up with a fight or two about this matter... but if he truly loves you, he will overcome that problem!
also a good meditation I always have with myself, look oh my soul how much God loves you, for you have left and became gluttonous in the passions of this world, yet when you came back, God closed His arms around you, not leaving you... how can you after this find anyone to replace this love... not a wife, a sister, a brother, a mother, a father, or anything that moves can give me the love You give me oh Lord!