How can I stop using bad language???

Anthonypk7

Hey everyone,
Whenever I had personal issues I always brought it on here, so I want to add something else. I'm an average teenager, I rarely curse, but when I do, it just comes out of my mouth beyond control. I want to totally control my tongue, so it doesn't control me. I know that it just dirties me, just as the Lord said: "It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man". How can I  can I stop using bad language???

The weakest of all,

Je Nai Nan

Amoussa01

Read the epistles from James

geomike

There are many ways to stop cursing, but just know ahead of time that it will be a long journey. There's no "quick fix" solution. One way that helps me is when I feel angry and I know that I am about to curse, I just close my eyes, take a deep breath while walking away from the person i am mad at. Another way is to say "God forgive you" instead of "______ you" (i think you can fill in the blanks, lol, excuse me for the language), then walk away. It really helped me, and also I don't know if this is necessarily a good or healthy one but sometimes I would just clench my fists really hard and squeeze instead of saying anything.

peter_saad

WWJD? :)

Remnkemi

Peter, I am not attacking you, I think the WWJD campaign is a little ridiculous. The Orthodox answer is not WWJD. If you think about it is a ridiculous Protestant invention that doesn't make sense. Jesus did not sin, so He didn't have to stop Himself from cursing. If He wanted to fight Satan, He would send legions of archangels and angels to fight Satan's armies. We can't do that it so it doesn't make sense to expect we can copy Jesus. 

The Orthodox answer is fast and pray more. Even bishops and patriarchs fought with sins of language and sexual immorality. But when it comes, the struggling Orthodox Christian fasts and asks for more help. In addition, you take yourself out of situations that cause you to curse. Stay away from friends who curse. The bishops, who struggled, often returned to their monasteries to remove themselves from sinful situtations. In addition to avoiding a bad environment, you need to create a good environment. Discipline yourself to listen to holy words. Sing hymns often and if the situation returns, read the Scriptures, read the Sayings of the Desert Fathers with a repentant heart, read the commandments of the theological, patristic fathers, submit yourself to the counsel of your father of confession, surround yourself with people who help you repent.  Now you will have spiritual armamentarium to fight temptations.

peter_saad

[quote author=Remnkemi link=topic=12726.msg149525#msg149525 date=1324912788]
Peter, I am not attacking you, I think the WWJD campaign is a little ridiculous. The Orthodox answer is not WWJD. If you think about it is a ridiculous Protestant invention that doesn't make sense. Jesus did not sin, so He didn't have to stop Himself from cursing. If He wanted to fight Satan, He would send legions of archangels and angels to fight Satan's armies. We can't do that it so it doesn't make sense to expect we can copy Jesus. 

The Orthodox answer is fast and pray more. Even bishops and patriarchs fought with sins of language and sexual immorality. But when it comes, the struggling Orthodox Christian fasts and asks for more help. In addition, you take yourself out of situations that cause you to curse. Stay away from friends who curse. The bishops, who struggled, often returned to their monasteries to remove themselves from sinful situtations. In addition to avoiding a bad environment, you need to create a good environment. Discipline yourself to listen to holy words. Sing hymns often and if the situation returns, read the Scriptures, read the Sayings of the Desert Fathers with a repentant heart, read the commandments of the theological, patristic fathers, submit yourself to the counsel of your father of confession, surround yourself with people who help you repent.  Now you will have spiritual armamentarium to fight temptations.
Good point. Never thought about it that way. I have a question that's unrelated to this thread:

Did Jesus, as a human, sin?

George_Mina_Awad

No.

mabsoota

i used to swear.
:o
not really badly, but badly enough. so i decided to 'fast' from swearing over lent.

the first year i lasted half a day. the second year i managed more than a week.
then gradually it got better so i don't do it often these days.
the important thing is that u must not allow swearing in your thought life either, as it will eventually come out through your mouth when u don't expect (eg when u are dozing on the back seat of the car, and u wake in the middle of the journey to see a large lorry (truck) speeding towards u on the wrong side of the road).

so in a way u are all right. we need to copy what Jesus did, and to be more like Him we need to learn from those who have gone before us and fast and pray.
the good news is there is more than a week of fasting left!
may God give u strength.

TITL

[quote author=Remnkemi link=topic=12726.msg149525#msg149525 date=1324912788]
Peter, I am not attacking you, I think the WWJD campaign is a little ridiculous. The Orthodox answer is not WWJD. If you think about it is a ridiculous Protestant invention that doesn't make sense. Jesus did not sin, so He didn't have to stop Himself from cursing. If He wanted to fight Satan, He would send legions of archangels and angels to fight Satan's armies. We can't do that it so it doesn't make sense to expect we can copy Jesus. 

The Orthodox answer is fast and pray more. Even bishops and patriarchs fought with sins of language and sexual immorality. But when it comes, the struggling Orthodox Christian fasts and asks for more help. In addition, you take yourself out of situations that cause you to curse. Stay away from friends who curse. The bishops, who struggled, often returned to their monasteries to remove themselves from sinful situtations. In addition to avoiding a bad environment, you need to create a good environment. Discipline yourself to listen to holy words. Sing hymns often and if the situation returns, read the Scriptures, read the Sayings of the Desert Fathers with a repentant heart, read the commandments of the theological, patristic fathers, submit yourself to the counsel of your father of confession, surround yourself with people who help you repent.  Now you will have spiritual armamentarium to fight temptations.


I don't understand how imitating Christ isn't Orthodox? The Bible explicitly commands us to 'be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect'. We learn from those who precede us (our church fathers/the saints), they learned from those who preceded them...etc until we reach the disciples who learned directly from our Lord Himself. We do as Jesus did.

You say our church teaches us to pray and fast, but Who taught us to pray and fast? You say our church teaches us discipline, but Who established the discipline? You say our church teaches to resist sin and evil, but Who first put for us the laws and guidelines to live a pure life? We do as Jesus did.

It's true our Lord never sinned, but He was tempted. We do as Jesus did, get tempted but don't sin.

It's true our Lord had all the authority to fight Satan by sending His angels, but if I recall correctly, He didn't.
He didn't so we can learn from Him and do as He did during our circumstances.


WWJD is far from Protestant.

peter_saad

I think he is implying that we shouldn't compare our imperfect selves with God.  I think we should use Christ as a role model, but never try to reach His godly level. I agree with Rem on this one

George_Mina_Awad

I don't think that's what he was saying either; you should definitely try to reach His godly level. None of the saints ever reached Christ's level of godliness (that would be impossible to do, since he IS God). But they sure as heck strived for it.

Our faith (I've always thought) is based on, among other things, the fact that Christ came and lived a life reflective of His own teachings and commandments. He is a living example of how we should go about living our lives. Think of every trial we (all people) have ever faced- persecution, torture, loneliness, betrayal, being mocked- He went through all of this too, and to a great extent.  "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" To me, this is saying, Look, you saw Me overcome all my troubles here; you can too!. Even when He was being tempted by the devil, all he did to resist the devil was quote the scriptures. He used no divine authority to fight the devil, but only the word of God which we also have access to. So I do think that Christ would like to see us try our hardest to imitate Him.

TITL

Right on Jimmy!

I get what Remnkemi is saying, and I don't agree with it. WWJD isn't Protestant mentality, if it were, they would look like the Orthodox church.

peterfarrington

The problem with WWJD is that it is entirely Protestant. It requires the one asking WWJD to decide for themselves and it essentially means we can do what we want as long as we consider that it is what Jesus would do.

How many of those who wear a wrist band saying WWJD actually do what Jesus would do and become members of the Orthodox Church? Not many. How many fast and pray the Daily Office?

This is not to condemn the idea, but it is based on a false and Protestant premise that we can guess what Jesus would do. We are not asked to do this. We are told to be obedient to the teachings of the Church. It is the Church, as the Body of Christ with Christ as her head, which forms us in the image of Christ. If we rely on ourselves we are often and usually led astray, however well meaning we might be.

Remnkemi

TITL and all,

I guess at a certain level, one can argue that the WWJD campaign has its scriptural basis in Philippians 2:5 "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus" or in the ERV it is "In your life together, think the way Christ Jesus thought.". And this is well-intentioned. But the WWJD Campaign makes this postulate universal. It is not universally applicable. The original poster was talking about sins one repeats and how to avoid repetition. Jesus never sinned. Therefore, He never repeated a sin. Therefore, He never needed to work on avoiding or not repeating the sin. Therefore, one can't do what Jesus did: be sinless.

At another level, one could argue that Jesus faced temptation. A temptation to repeat a sin is no different than a sin one faces at first. And Jesus did face temptation. In this case, one can follow "the mind which was also in Christ Jesus" and use Scripture to fight off temptation. But I don't believe this was the question of the original poster.

Additionally, the WWJD campaign is not Orthodox for other reasons Fr Peter pointed out. Basically, as I understand the WWJD campaing, they call Christians to submit their will and choose what Jesus chose to do. (This in itself is Orthodox). But they only call for an action to guess and choose, not necessarily to follow through. In other words, when faced with temptation, Jesus fasted, Jesus prayed, Jesus asked His Father for help, then Jesus preached about the Eucharist and the sacraments, and finally Jesus died for others. The only message of the WWJD, in this circumstance, is to tell the struggling Christian to not choose sin. There is no expectation of fasting, praying, asking a priest for help, no sacraments and no determination to die for someone else. In my mind, it is incomplete. That's why it is not Orthodox.

TITL

I cannot respond now that Fr. Peter posted.  I promised I'd be good.  :-X

geomike

WWJD isn't a bad thing to use at all. It just depends how you are doing it. Technically and theologically it's ridiculous because obviously we aren't God so we can't think like God. But i believe that the benefit one should reap from it is if you are in a situation in which you don't know if it is right or wrong, you can think "Well, if Jesus was here right now, would He do something like this". That's the idea. You guys are correct that it's impossible theologically, but it was just poorly worded.

joekeliny

I'm sorry... But i agree 100000% with TITL!

He's right, because the bible also say "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

So we can do anything through the grace of God... However, the Bible also says that no one can live one day without being sinless.

However, i totally believe TITL is correct....!