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Looking nice

TzegemariamTzegemariam
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Is it bad to want to look nice or dress up?

Recently, I have been thinking about going to prom. Before i had always taught of it as vanity
but as i get near to it, i feel like it could be fun if i just go to dress up and be with friends and leave immediately.
I also wouldnt have to pay because im on the newspaper and they need photographers to go.

I feel like if i go it will prove to me why i love God so much and would rather go to Church then parties.

any opinions , advice...

Comments

  • mnc_hnnmnc_hnn
    If you start thinking about everything in a certain way, I am sure you kind find something wrong with everything.

    The only thing that God wants from you, is to be his child. He wants you to be happy. If the simple activity of dressing up and going to prom is fun, why can't you do it? As His child, you already know his commandments. Keep them and you will not upset Him.

    You will know deep in your heart if you're about to do something sinful because He lives in you and your conscience will warn you.

    Don't make life too complicated :)
  • servant33servant33
    Speaking from personal experience, I wasn't sure if I should go to prom. I ended up going just for the sake of saying that I went to my high school prom. But meh, 3 years later I can say it didn't matter at all. It wasn't too great of a time either - everyone was dancing in an inappropriate way and it was just not my thing. Though it took up a good amount of time and money. So I'm saying hey, I'm behind you if you decide not to go.

    If you do dress up and go, just make sure to pray a lot about it. Like with everything, it can open the door for a lot of temptations - pride, lust, jealousy, etc. And make sure you go with a good group of friends.

    God bless in whatever you choose.
  • peter_saadpeter_saad
    There's no shame at all if you don't go to prom.

    I don't wanna say it's wrong, but as Christians we should not conform to this world. A lot of use the excuse "I'm not a monk, so why is it wrong?" so now we suddenly humble ourselves? Lol.

    If you feel like its wrong, or if you're borderline, I personally wouldn't go.
  • TzegemariamTzegemariam
    thanks everyone for your advice!

    Im still debating it, tho.


    May God bless you all and lead me
  • marmar357marmar357
    I never went to a prom..

    One time there was a party when I was at highschool yet. I already bought the tickets, but after watching a movie of Saint Ana Simon I threw them away and didn´t go, lol.

    I don´t know your intentions of course, but it seems you are a good girl/boy. Personally, I would say, don't let yourself in temptation. "“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up." (1:Cor 10).

    Ask yourself also: what's my goal? Why do I want to go? What will I benefit from it? What will I do there? Dancing? Do you think Jesus could be at such a place?

    Would you informate us whether you went to the prom or not and how it went?

    Good luck! Rabina m3ak(y).

    God bless.
  • marmar357marmar357
    And:
    H.G. Bishop youssef's:
    Question: I would really like to go to prom because this is the last big event I can share with my friends before we all go off to  college. I would simply go with a group of my good friends. I don't know about other schools, but our school is very supervised and bad behavior is not tolerated. Also, my friends are such a great influence in my life. They all are devout to their churches. They do not drink, curse and so on... Also, my parents have met ALL of the friends that I would go with. Am I wrong for wanting to go?

    Answer:: St. Ephriam El-Surian stated, "The soul is the temple of God, the heart is the holy altar upon which sacrifices of praise are offered and the mind is the priest who has the honor to serve this office."

    We all must no matter the age, try hard to live a careful life. We must follow the instructions of the Holy Bible and "Keep our hearts with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:2).

    We are also told, "Blessed are the pure in heart" for they shall see God. It is seeing God, which we must strive for. What takes place at a prom for a number of hours? I have been told, nothing except dancing in all the different and varied types. Do you think this is the Christian environment one is striving for during the Holy Great Fast? Will  you be contemplating upon the Holy Resurrection while watching or participating in dance?

    The dresses worn and dances danced at those proms could be particularly provocative in nature. Often those who have attended those proms against the advice of their confessor fathers and parents, have returned home very disappointed with the events that had taken place at the Prom. While we are often faced with situations not of the nature we desire in daily life, we should not purposefully place ourselves in similar situations.

    Abba Daniel once said, "We cannot prevent the birds from soaring around us, but surely we can prevent them from perching and building their nests on top of us."

    I am pleased to know of your friends' good qualities and the company in which you keep.


    Question Q&A Home > P > Prom

    Why is going to the prom wrong?

    Answer::
    The prom is an occasion for youth to date and to dress up in an unbecoming, unchristian manner trying to get the attention of the opposite sex. Some go to the prom to spend time dancing and drinking while others have other agenda. Many youth commit several sins on that night. I don't think that it is a healthy environment someone should be at even if they do not intend to dance.

    Christianity is based on free will and choices, let us make the right choices as St. Paul says, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify" (1 Cor 10:23). Therefore "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth" (Col 3:2) and "Let all things be done for edification" (1 Cor 14:26)
  • jeanreyes6jeanreyes6
    Hi,

    I believe wanting to look good is not a bad sign. It only means that you are a teenage girl with a boosting self esteem. I believe that looking good is one of the things we must learn to have because improving ourselves we can also improve others as well. I believe good change starts from the people who advocates it. Go to prom if you want to if you're having second thoughts, I think you should reflect upon yourself on the things that you really want to do then decide.  ;)
  • mnc_hnnmnc_hnn
    If you never go, you may always wonder how it would have been if you did go. Some things we must never try; like drugs or smoking. Because they are clearly bad for your health. Other things may be a matter of personal experience. As you grow older, you will build up experiences in life and this will help you to make decisions later on and to advice other people who may be in similar situations.

    I think that simply shutting yourself away from the world (slightly exaggerating) is not going to be helpful.
  • mabsootamabsoota
    we don't do 'prom' in uk, but i went to a school disco when i was 12 and was disgusted about how much kissing and groping went on.
    :o
    i also refused to go to my friend's party when i was a bit older (her parents were going to be away!) and predictable bad things happened, including in her parents' bedroom (they got back earlier than planned, party got gatecrashed, there was lots of alcohol and cigarettes, u can guess the rest!)

    but i have been out with friends to pubs etc. as an older person, when i know who is going to be there, what is going to happen (or not happen), and sometimes (rarely) have had useful conversations with my friends as a result.
    that life changing conversation u have with yr drunk and depressed friend is often, sadly, forgotten the next day when the hangover kicks in, and it's generally better to hang out going shopping or eating together instead.

    i'd like to here add a plea to all parents / aunts / uncles to invite younger folk to yr houses, give them some food and lots of space to chat and hang out with each other in a safe environment.
    and don't ask their friends embarassing questions like 'how is school' (they are not there, they are probably trying to forget it) or 'haven't you grown?' which is really not a great conversation starter. ask them about sport, hobbies, food etc.
    then once the young folk get used to being around yr place, u can hang out with them too for a bit, and tell them funny tales about 'stuff i did when i was young' (this is only for people who know u well! don't lecture newcomers, it's not cool!)

    having said that, not all proms in north america are disgusting, so ask the older brothers and sisters of people who have been to prom what to expect. then discuss it with yr parents or another older, wiser person who knows yr state and what goes on in schools there for advice.

    as for clothes, there are some companies online that do modest prom wear (can't remember the name now, i saw the website once, so u can look great without wearing tight and revealing clothing (or a burkha!) check yr view from front and back bending down before u buy.
    for guys, nothing really tight around yr bottom area, please! (u should be able to bend down without risk of tearing...) and no 'builder's bum' (the uk name for the visible butt crack)  ;)

    ok, just my rant for the night...
    may God guide u
    :)
  • PictavrocPictavroc
    I know how it feels like when you feel everyone around you is going to the prom and talking about it so much and being very excited, but I can tell you that you should never feel ashamed or 'left out' if you decide not to go.  You should have confidence in yourself and in the choice you make. Do NOT ever get pressured by others around you.  You do the right thing no matter what others say. 
    Personally, I did not go to the prom because I knew of the inappropriate actions that take place during (and after) the prom; I knew that beforehand from people who went.  Like others mentioned already, I did not want to put myself under temptation when I could just avoid it. God gave us freewill so why would we walk in the path of temptation and possibly fall in sin?
    Furthermore, I had non-Coptic/non-Egyptian friends who did not go to the prom as well. I had some Indian friends who have similar values and traditions as Egyptians and they also never went.  They never felt ashamed or pressured, so why would we?

    What you could instead is dress up and look very nice and gather some of your good friends (preferably from church) and go out to dinner and have fun; I guarantee you will have a much much better time than at the prom.

    And as servant33 mentioned, PRAY. Pray that God gives you the wisdom to make the right choice.

  • egyboyegyboy
    Someone mentioned earlier that if you know God's commandments and stick to them then you should be fine.  But there is much more to Christian life than that.

    You said yourself:
    [quote author=Thanks be to God Always link=topic=13242.msg155099#msg155099 date=1335830610]
    I feel like if i go it will prove to me why i love God so much and would rather go to Church then parties.


    Will going to prom help you at all in your spiritual struggle? On the contrary, it may destroy you.
    Why do we try to see how much we can get away with, while we know that these things are clearly wrong?
    "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify." 1 Cor 10:23
    "Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.'" 1 Cor 15:33

    In my opinion, and in the opinion of the priests of my church, it is absolutely wrong to go prom. The music is tasteless, the dancing is lustful, the environment is sinful, and the aftermath is destructive. Why put yourself into a position like this only to have the ability to say "i went to prom". Please, I urge you not to go. You might think I'm being a stubborn Egyptian, but prom is honestly more harm than you may think.

    I will leave you with this verse:
    Romans 12:2
    And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

    Please forgive me and pray for my weakness.
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