Getting heavy-fun

ReturnOrthodoxy

So conversations have gotten heavy this past while, and I think it may be a good idea to relax the tone a little, and have some fun. This way, we can speak with others in a non-polemical way. It will be fun.

So any jokes you've heard, bloopers in church, or anything funny, please post it, and lets have some fun. It might be a good idea to see a non-polemical / academic side of other members.

A monk in one of the monasteries I was visiting has invited about 10 boys to serve in the altar with him. The altar is extremely small, so there was only room for 2 deacons to stand around the altar, and 8 were posted against the wall. So Abouna finish saying his part, and he is waiting for the deacons outside to finish their response.  Abouna lifts up his hand, looks at the 9 deacons posted against the wall and says, "Menawareen ya gama3!" Needless to say, that was the end of my liturgy.

Another time in the same monastery, there was a bishop present and I was in the altar. I was to say the response of the Bishop. As you know, there is a part which says, "And his partner in the apostolic service/liturgy." Some books say service, and some say liturgy. I accidentally mixed the 2 and said, "His partner in the apostolic surgery."

Good times...

RO

joeg

Reminds me of this amusing thread.

As for a blooper: at a certain church I served in in Cairo, there was a priest who has a powerful voice, as well as being quite forceful and "shedeed" in his manner of worship. One time he was celebrating the Raising of Incense before the altar, and when he came to do the complete clockwise rotation of the censer with his hands, he swung it with such a massive amount of force that the censer chain snapped, and burning coal was launched in all directions. Immediately, all of the bystanding deacons (myself included) got down on all fours to pick up the burning bits of coal as fast we could with our bare hands in an attempt to prevent it burning through the carpet.

Alas we failed - the carpet was totally destroyed  :(

ReturnOrthodoxy

LOL,

The amount of burns in the carpet in my church that are my fault is ridiculous. I think I may be judged for destruction of God's house

marmar357

Hahahahaha!

Joshuaa

I remember all the times burning coal has hit the carpet and the attempts to pick them up. Panic attacks. Hehe. Swinging a censer is an art.

Phanessa

I'm going to say some things from the Christian religion I was brought up in and my fiances:

I was going to Sunday school and we had a meet and greet with all the other students (at a Lutheran church) so when it got to me I didn't know what to say, so thinking fast I said "..... I'm Vanessa ... and I think I'm pretty normal ..." it was quiet for about a minute then everyone starts to crack up, and tease me about it all through the year -.- my dad still brings it up, I was 9 at the time

I was also an altar girl, and I was too short to reach the candles so I dripped wax everywhere and almost tilted over the tall candle -.- needless to say the priest never allowed me to do it again lol there were so many burns in the altar cloth X( I felt sooooo bad lol

My fiance told me when he was younger he was sitting way in the back of the church and everybody was kneeling to pray, so when everyone leaned over he shouts from the back "I HOPE SOMEONE DOESN'T FART!!!" he also pulled down a guys pants in church (he was dressed like a gangster the guy with the pants). The priest even had to laugh at both of that.

ReturnOrthodoxy

Abouna was supposed to be giving a sermon on a certain topic which had been highlighted in the agenda of the church. I cant remember what it was about, specifically, but I remember it being something along the lines of the "7 seven deadly sins." Anyways, as Asheya neared its end, a black guy walks in to the back of the church and starts saying a prayer as Asheya came to a close. He had never been to our church before today, and so I guess Abouna wanted to make him feel comfortable. Anyways, as Abouna stands to say his sermon, hes says, "Today, we will be speaking about St. Moses the African American." 

I toppled over in laughter. Did you guys know that St. Moses the Black was a naturalized citizen of America?

Ray

cyril

Lol

Zoxsasi

OK -

My friend (an American Egyptian Copt) was serving in the alter with an Egyptian priest. 

During the liturgy, the priest looks to my friend and gives him the middle finger.

My friend looks at abouna and says "Im really sorry", thinking that perhaps he was making noise or not paying attention.

Abouna looks at my friend , and gives him the middle finger again.

My friend, thinking that he's done something severely wrong, looks down at the floor, feels embarrassed and says to abouna: "Im So sorry.. ".

Abouna then tells him: "Ya ebni, bring me a candle!"

So, for abouna the sign language for "go bring a candle" is a middle finger.

Sure, I found the story funny at 1st, but basically this goes to show that we need to have priests who understand western culture and language. We can laugh it off, but its pretty sad that the priest doesn't know what this sign means. I think we need to educate them. 

I said this story to someone and he showed me the sign for "Turn out the Candle" - lol - now that was funny!