IloveChrist,ý It takes a lot of courage and determination to confess this sin to others. It must be tough ýbut this shows that you are determined to stop and I am sure God will help you. ý
There is a lot of advice on this board and they are all great and I don't know if I can add ýanything here, but try to read thru my babbling 2 cents.ý
A priest was talking about this sin (or sexual sins in general) and he said, and I ýsummarize, "I would rather that my son be addicted to drugs or alcohol than ýpornography. Drugs you can stop, Alcohol you can control but how can you control your ýmind?" He went on further to say "we should understand the problems of these sins, I ýhave seen many marital problems caused because of this." The mind is a great organ as a ýprevious post suggested, one of its attributes is it rarely forgets things. The devil uses that ýto his advantage by making us remember what he wants us to. Please understand, this is ýnot to make you feel bad, but to give you an understanding of the grave situation we are ýin when we put ourselves thru this temptation. ý
Now, the solution: ý
It is, as abouna mentioned, a lot harder to stop than drugs or alcohol, but "if the Lord is ýwith us, then who is against us?" and "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me". ýso as the fraction of Lent says "Fasting and prayer...." is the key to stopping any sin ýbecause "this kind does not go out except by fasting and prayer" ý Secondly, you need to understand that it will not happen over time. A practical solution, ýtry planning out your day so that you are busy the whole day. Try to take it one step at a ýtime, one day at a time. Try your hardest (thru means mentioned above in previous posts) ýto get thru the day without committing it, then the next morning, try to do the same. ýSoon, you will notice that you have Gone one week without doing it, then the period will ýincrease. Don't, however, listen to the temptation of the devil that you were able, on your ýown, stop, but because of regular prayer, Liturgy, communion, fasting, etc... you were ýable to overcome this short time period. ý Third, PERSEVERE! You have to fight hard, not by your own strength, but by that which ýis given to you from above. Joseph did not fight temptation by his own will, but by ýsaying "How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9). ýWhen you fall again, keep in mind that David the profit and king, whom God said that 'I ýhave searched the heart of David, my servant, and I found it according to my own' (sorry ýdon’t have the reference) committed multiple sins but repented. Jesus said 'The righteous ýman sins seven times a day' The number seven symbolizes completion or fulfillment of ýsin, but what makes him righteous is 'and repents' (sorry, no reference again). God is ýwilling to come to you (like he did with the Samaritan woman) as long as you show Him ýthat you are willing to stop. When you pray at night, tell Him that you really want to but ýyou are weak and need Him to give you strength, ask for His protection. But whatever ýyou do, DO NOT STOP PRAYING!!!!!!! even if you feel that it doesn't help or that you ýare over this sin. YOU NEED TO CONTINUE TO PRAY about it. ý I am sorry for the rather lengthy response, just wanted to share my 2 cents. Pray for me ýand may God bless you.ý
Samaan: You are on the right track. I read this last night, and thought I had better respond, because it is not right to have the key to a problem, and not help. I have this problem in my past. Since you are under conviction about this problem, and what you have said, it tells me a few things. First, that you are well beloved by God. He is convicting you of this sin because He loves you, and is wanting you to overcome. He wants to bring you to a victorious life. He has special plans for you, especially with him convicting you of this sin at your age. Don't be discouraged, for victory will come, I am convinced. Here's what worked for me to beat this sin. First, I got rid of the TV, and it's been gone a good long time. You don't want to watch the neighbor's either. You will need to get rid of all secular music, even contemporary "Christian" music, and radio. Go with Coptic litergies, hymns from the California monastery, or things like that.. I listen to an Armenian litergy time to time, even though I belong to a Coptic church. Keep showers short, and look up, never take a bath. Don't look at billboards, don't look at magazines. Marketing uses sex to try to get your attention to sell you something. They don't care about you. Focus on God's angels. They watch you all the time. Conduct yourself before them appropriately. If you do this, you will see masterbation on the decrease. Also, emphasize the part of the Agbeya that we ask for God's angels to camp about us. Ask God for help, and tell Him that you give Him your body, and your soul, and spirit. Tell Him that you want to submit to Him in the smallest thing.. tell Him that you belong to Him and that you are His possession to do as He wants. Do not vow or promise to stop masterbating. Devils will home in on this, and try very hard to discourage you. Just pour out you heart and mind to God. Talk with Him intimately before going to sleep and when you wake, thanking Him. In the morning though, empty your bladder about as soon as your eyes open. This will take pressure off, and cuts off temptation. Once again, look up, not down. As long as you hit the bowl, that all that matters! ;D You will need to take up the ideals of the monks. Avoid the world's ways, and follow God. Run from sin. Stay in control. Remember that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Some see marriage as the solution to masterbation, but sex isn't always available, and you're right back to square one. Also, I stay single because I could not find a suitable partner if I wanted to, and I see birth control as a sin. Some birth control is abortive, such as Iud's and some pills. Even if one used non abortive means, it still shows distrust to God because a conception would mean it is His work. Churches have a hard time taking a stand on this for obvious reasons. Of the two roads, holiness is best achieved on the road of the monk, if one wants to live in full submission to God. Besides, the single person has much more time for God, and Paul says this clearly in 1 Corinthians. You are on the right track. You will need to avoid looking at women, make a covenant with your eyes to not look at them. If you perceive a woman walking around you, look the other way until she's gone. Do not look a the skin of any human for any length of time, if you percieve a feeling of lust. If you have any questions at all, let me know. My email is [email protected]. Thanks, Sam
Samaan: I need to tell you something else. Do not give the devils the time of day. They will try to convince you that it is not a sin, and then if you do it, they will discourage you and kick you. Personally, I could feel them almost touching me. I mean that I could literally see parts of my body moving without me moving them. And I was under trial. But, they can go no further than this. That's it. If you resist them, they're done. Don't forget the sign of the cross. Focus on the saints, like St. Anthony.. He overcame this. He was tempted of women, but resisted. Overcoming this sin will put you on a new plane and you will be will have a huge advantage over the world, and this is what God wants. But, the devils know this too. Ask God that God's angels would encourage you and help you, and that you could be intimate with God and that He would sweep you away to Him in prayer. Don't miss confessing, or cut church. You need to take communion. If the FOC discourages you some, just plead for him to be patient with you. Someone recommended being with women friends. I wouldn't do that if I were you, unless they were unattractive, and that would still be questionable. I would really bolster Bible reading, especially the Gospels and Epistles, and pray intimately. God knows what you are going through, and just about all Godly men have struggled with this. But, it makes you grow to overcome it. Also, your train of thought becomes much clearer. Lust drains your thought process. It's a huge distraction to spirituality and as well as other learning. Stay away from movies at whatever cost. Even disney stuff has sparks of lust in it. I would focus on the elect angels and God heavily. Remember, God's angels are not given in marriage, they are single! Also, pray that God would bless His angels that camp about you. Thank Him for them. Keep the internet to a minimum, and never engage in porn. Porn is so destructive. It's pure poison to your cause, and it will lay mines in your path for years. If porn gets involved, a habit that would take a few months to overcome could take years. If you have already seen porn and it's images are in your mind and they come up, think of them being evil and destructive, never use them for pleasure. See things like that as the causes for the sin we see in the world today such as abortion, rape, child abuse, fornication, adultery, and divorce. Masterbation was hard for me to overcome because I had got a hold of my uncle's pornography that he had thrown away when I was about 14. Many of those images are still well burned in my mind, and I'm 31. I just see them as evil and repulsive now, and just as instuments of the devil's work. I look forward to them being forgotten. Also, pray that porn shops will be hindered, and that abortion clinics will close. These are partners in related sins. If I can help you at all, just let me know. I want to see you overcome. You will be a pleasure to God when you do. When you have the right mindset and are doing the right things, it will happen.Take care, Sam
Comments
It takes a lot of courage and determination to confess this sin to others. It must be tough ýbut this shows that you are determined to stop and I am sure God will help you. ý
There is a lot of advice on this board and they are all great and I don't know if I can add ýanything here, but try to read thru my babbling 2 cents.ý
A priest was talking about this sin (or sexual sins in general) and he said, and I ýsummarize, "I would rather that my son be addicted to drugs or alcohol than ýpornography. Drugs you can stop, Alcohol you can control but how can you control your ýmind?" He went on further to say "we should understand the problems of these sins, I ýhave seen many marital problems caused because of this." The mind is a great organ as a ýprevious post suggested, one of its attributes is it rarely forgets things. The devil uses that ýto his advantage by making us remember what he wants us to. Please understand, this is ýnot to make you feel bad, but to give you an understanding of the grave situation we are ýin when we put ourselves thru this temptation. ý
Now, the solution: ý
It is, as abouna mentioned, a lot harder to stop than drugs or alcohol, but "if the Lord is ýwith us, then who is against us?" and "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me". ýso as the fraction of Lent says "Fasting and prayer...." is the key to stopping any sin ýbecause "this kind does not go out except by fasting and prayer" ý
Secondly, you need to understand that it will not happen over time. A practical solution, ýtry planning out your day so that you are busy the whole day. Try to take it one step at a ýtime, one day at a time. Try your hardest (thru means mentioned above in previous posts) ýto get thru the day without committing it, then the next morning, try to do the same. ýSoon, you will notice that you have Gone one week without doing it, then the period will ýincrease. Don't, however, listen to the temptation of the devil that you were able, on your ýown, stop, but because of regular prayer, Liturgy, communion, fasting, etc... you were ýable to overcome this short time period. ý
Third, PERSEVERE! You have to fight hard, not by your own strength, but by that which ýis given to you from above. Joseph did not fight temptation by his own will, but by ýsaying "How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9). ýWhen you fall again, keep in mind that David the profit and king, whom God said that 'I ýhave searched the heart of David, my servant, and I found it according to my own' (sorry ýdon’t have the reference) committed multiple sins but repented. Jesus said 'The righteous ýman sins seven times a day' The number seven symbolizes completion or fulfillment of ýsin, but what makes him righteous is 'and repents' (sorry, no reference again). God is ýwilling to come to you (like he did with the Samaritan woman) as long as you show Him ýthat you are willing to stop. When you pray at night, tell Him that you really want to but ýyou are weak and need Him to give you strength, ask for His protection. But whatever ýyou do, DO NOT STOP PRAYING!!!!!!! even if you feel that it doesn't help or that you ýare over this sin. YOU NEED TO CONTINUE TO PRAY about it. ý
I am sorry for the rather lengthy response, just wanted to share my 2 cents. Pray for me ýand may God bless you.ý